slippery when wet Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Hello All. I am posting this on behalf of a friend. Please dont beat him up too much on here because he has tried so hard for years to keep the marriage together but she just doesn't want to know and only wants to be with her family in Thailand. Anyway the question he has asked me to post on his behalf is IF she returns to Thailand from the UK does he legally in the eyes of the UK law have to pay for the maintenence of the children. Right now he feels very jaded but feels that as she is inadvertadly denying him acess by living in Thailand then why should he support her and the children when as hee sees it has done nothing wrong. Thanks...slippery when wet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mstribling Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Im not a Brit, but I would think he is off the hook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boater Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 no he doesnt, but the Thai wife can claim if she wants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garyh Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 But they are his kids? if so what did the kids do wrong to be dumped financially by the father? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slippery when wet Posted February 9, 2011 Author Share Posted February 9, 2011 Yes they are his kids and although he does not wish to financially dump the kids he knows that the money will be spent in the local pup and not on his children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supaprik Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 (edited) if they are his kids are British citizens your friend needs to give permission for them to travel anyway,,,, well at least to them being taken abroad...sounds like he is just worried about the support part though Edited February 9, 2011 by supaprik Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJP Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Yes they are his kids and although he does not wish to financially dump the kids he knows that the money will be spent in the local pup and not on his children. Yup. Tough one. Best thing he can do is pay the school fees directly, that at least. Really don't know how else to go about this unless he has a falang friend in the area who would administer the cash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarpSpeed Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Maybe not legally but how about morally?? He made children with her and now they are both their parental responsibility whether he sees them or not, why does he need a law to tell him that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJP Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Maybe not legally but how about morally?? He made children with her and now they are both their parental responsibility whether he sees them or not, why does he need a law to tell him that? He knows that and wants to support them but doesn't know how. What he could do is get a lawyer to talk to his mother-in-law and set up support that way. The old MIL's are generally the only sensible ones and will see the money goes to the right use. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennkate Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 If she takes the kids to Thailand he will lose out on Family Tax credits and Child benefit. Having said that they are his kids and he wont want them to live on the bread line. It's a difficult one Best to send what he can afford . Not too much if he worries about it going on beer chang. Like others have said you could tell him to pay any school; fees direct to the school Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumball Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 MJP' timestamp='1297268819' post='4208117'] 'WarpSpeed' timestamp='1297268070' post='4208098'] Maybe not legally but how about morally?? He made children with her and now they are both their parental responsibility whether he sees them or not, why does he need a law to tell him that? ] He knows that and wants to support them but doesn't know how. What he could do is get a lawyer to talk to his mother-in-law and set up support that way. The old MIL's are generally the only sensible ones and will see the money goes to the right use. You mean you would trust your MiL farther than you could throw her ? with money ? Are not they the ones usually on the grab for more , and more , and more .Next thing you will suggest he leave his children with her also and keep them shrouded in ancient history and superstitious mumbo-jumbo . Why not contact the local child authorities , they have lots of guidence where child welfare is concerned , I don't think it will be allowing them to be kidnapped only to be abandoned into the care of a (most likely) uneducated old lady . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJP Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 MJP' timestamp='1297268819' post='4208117'] He knows that and wants to support them but doesn't know how. What he could do is get a lawyer to talk to his mother-in-law and set up support that way. The old MIL's are generally the only sensible ones and will see the money goes to the right use. You mean you would trust your MiL farther than you could throw her ? with money ? Are not they the ones usually on the grab for more , and more , and more .Next thing you will suggest he leave his children with her also and keep them shrouded in ancient history and superstitious mumbo-jumbo . Why not contact the local child authorities , they have lots of guidence where child welfare is concerned , I don't think it will be allowing them to be kidnapped only to be abandoned into the care of a (most likely) uneducated old lady . Local child authorities? In Thailand? Does such a thing as social work exist here? I wasn't actually going to suggest that as it would be ridiculous. If you face these people with lawyers they fold, terrified of anything that represents authority. Tend to do as instructed if it's set up right. Actually, my MIL and one sister-in-law are two people I would trust when it comes to the welfare and future of the children in my absence. The rest perhaps not and certainly not the mother. Funny how an uneducated old lady managed to raise six children on less than minimum wage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farang000999 Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Your Thai wife can't just kidnap your children and take them back to Thailand legally without recourse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coolhandjoe Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Maybe not legally but how about morally?? He made children with her and now they are both their parental responsibility whether he sees them or not, why does he need a law to tell him that? Legally the mother would have to have a good understanding of the law and how to implement it. Morally, without doubt the father should provide for his children to the best of his ability without the law! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hagler Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Old Chinese saying. "Marry monkey, live in Zoo" Your "friend" made his bed. Now he should lie in it and man up and support his kids. And maybe she is "escaping" not "running"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumball Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 'MJP' timestamp='1297271049' post='4208154'] 'dumball' timestamp='1297270240' post='4208141'] MJP' timestamp='1297268819' post='4208117'] He knows that and wants to support them but doesn't know how. What he could do is get a lawyer to talk to his mother-in-law and set up support that way. The old MIL's are generally the only sensible ones and will see the money goes to the right use. You mean you would trust your MiL farther than you could throw her ? with money ? Are not they the ones usually on the grab for more , and more , and more .Next thing you will suggest he leave his children with her also and keep them shrouded in ancient history and superstitious mumbo-jumbo . Why not contact the local child authorities , they have lots of guidence where child welfare is concerned , I don't think it will be allowing them to be kidnapped only to be abandoned into the care of a (most likely) uneducated old lady . Local child authorities? In Thailand? Does such a thing as social work exist here? I wasn't actually going to suggest that as it would be ridiculous. If you face these people with lawyers they fold, terrified of anything that represents authority. Tend to do as instructed if it's set up right. Actually, my MIL and one sister-in-law are two people I would trust when it comes to the welfare and future of the children in my absence. The rest perhaps not and certainly not the mother. Funny how an uneducated old lady managed to raise six children on less than minimum wage. I was of the impression you were inteligent enough to realise that as the OP and his family are still in the UK , I was refering to a local council IN the UK . Once his family is in Thailand , I feel he will have little to no chance for recourse . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjclark1 Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Yes they are his kids and although he does not wish to financially dump the kids he knows that the money will be spent in the local pup and not on his children. Yup. Tough one. Best thing he can do is pay the school fees directly, that at least. Really don't know how else to go about this unless he has a falang friend in the area who would administer the cash. Schools in Thailand are free. No fees to pay. I'm always surprised how many white men are daft enough to pay for their children's imaginary school fees. Anyway back to the OP You don't ever have to pay anything to anyone without a court order. Many people don't pay even after a court order is made. Is it right for you to refuse to pay for your children after the mother has stolen them from you? Only you can answer that question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spee Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Just my own wrong opinion, but caring for children seems more of a moral obligation than a legal one. A lot of world's problems originate with adults who were denied care as children, whether that care is financial, love, discipline, advice, education or any or all of those and more. My advice is forget about the legal ramifications for now. Sort out the moral ramifications first, worry about the legalities second. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mario2008 Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 It are his children and he has to pay child support for them by law. The state of the relationship with the mother is not a consideration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bermondburi Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Yes they are his kids and although he does not wish to financially dump the kids he knows that the money will be spent in the local pup and not on his children. Yup. Tough one. Best thing he can do is pay the school fees directly, that at least. Really don't know how else to go about this unless he has a falang friend in the area who would administer the cash. Schools in Thailand are free. No fees to pay. I'm always surprised how many white men are daft enough to pay for their children's imaginary school fees. Anyway back to the OP You don't ever have to pay anything to anyone without a court order. Many people don't pay even after a court order is made. Is it right for you to refuse to pay for your children after the mother has stolen them from you? Only you can answer that question. Government schools in Thailand are supposedly free and but they are not totally free as the director might ask for a parental donation as recently happened to my neighbour after the law changed. As a sidenote, would you really want your kids going to a government school. Been inside a few and I definitely wouldn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjclark1 Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 (edited) Government schools in Thailand are supposedly free and but they are not totally free as the director might ask for a parental donation as recently happened to my neighbour after the law changed. As a sidenote, would you really want your kids going to a government school. Been inside a few and I definitely wouldn't. My daughter attends government school, it's very nice, I did pay about 4,000bht last year for books and 5 uniforms. Her grades are very good. Does she actually learn anything, well TIT. @Mario Not sure things are as clear cut as that, when a woman abducts your children and uses them to fleece you, should you have to pay, or should she be forced to return them? Edited February 10, 2011 by pjclark1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExpatJ Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Yes, your friend is liable for child support payments and it will be very easy to get them since his ex knows where he lives all she has to do is send the information to http://www.csa.gov.uk the UK child support agency. If hes worried about his ex wasting support money there are ways around that- paying school fees, medical insurance, clothes , books etc directly to vendors by passing his ex etc. I think its disgusting that as a father he is OK with not supporting his kids, what sort of scum does that? But that's another matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjclark1 Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Yes, your friend is liable for child support payments and it will be very easy to get them since his ex knows where he lives all she has to do is send the information to http://www.csa.gov.uk the UK child support agency. If hes worried about his ex wasting support money there are ways around that- paying school fees, medical insurance, clothes , books etc directly to vendors by passing his ex etc. I think its disgusting that as a father he is OK with not supporting his kids, what sort of scum does that? But that's another matter. I don't believe any payments have been awarded yet. I don't believe any payments can be claimed if the woman abducts the children and moves to another country (outside the EU) On a more personal note. I am entirely happy to support any children that I have fathered 100% with no contribution from anyone else, but only if they live with me 100% In fact I will extend that to include me supporting 100% children fathered by anyone who subsequently live with me and view me as their father. I have no interest in supporting any children that call someone else 'daddy' Just my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExpatJ Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Yes, your friend is liable for child support payments and it will be very easy to get them since his ex knows where he lives all she has to do is send the information to http://www.csa.gov.uk the UK child support agency. If hes worried about his ex wasting support money there are ways around that- paying school fees, medical insurance, clothes , books etc directly to vendors by passing his ex etc. I think its disgusting that as a father he is OK with not supporting his kids, what sort of scum does that? But that's another matter. I don't believe any payments have been awarded yet. I don't believe any payments can be claimed if the woman abducts the children and moves to another country (outside the EU) On a more personal note. I am entirely happy to support any children that I have fathered 100% with no contribution from anyone else, but only if they live with me 100% In fact I will extend that to include me supporting 100% children fathered by anyone who subsequently live with me and view me as their father. I have no interest in supporting any children that call someone else 'daddy' Just my opinion. So if your children, through no fault of their own especially if they are toddlers, are forced to be apart from you- you give up on them and basically say "screw my kids". Wow, i hope- for their sake -that you never have kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbeam1 Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Your Thai wife can't just kidnap your children and take them back to Thailand legally without recourse. Hee hee, I notice you use the word your and not his. Not sure this is not a Troll. If not why is he asking this question on a forum, instead of to a solicitor. I believe you can go and ask advise from one, something like £5.00 for 15 minuets. jb1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mario2008 Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Your Thai wife can't just kidnap your children and take them back to Thailand legally without recourse. Maybe not in the UK, but once in Thailand there is no parental kidnapping and one has to go trough the courts in Thailand, who normally only go for shared custody. They will not recognise a court decision of a foreign court. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJP Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Yes they are his kids and although he does not wish to financially dump the kids he knows that the money will be spent in the local pup and not on his children. Yup. Tough one. Best thing he can do is pay the school fees directly, that at least. Really don't know how else to go about this unless he has a falang friend in the area who would administer the cash. Schools in Thailand are free. No fees to pay. I'm always surprised how many white men are daft enough to pay for their children's imaginary school fees. Anyway back to the OP You don't ever have to pay anything to anyone without a court order. Many people don't pay even after a court order is made. Is it right for you to refuse to pay for your children after the mother has stolen them from you? Only you can answer that question. Depends where you are and the quality of the local state offering. Here it's poor quality so we go private. Later on it will be a move to the city and a good quality state school. Oh and I didn't appreciate your tone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beetlejuice Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 He should first obtain proof that the wife is living in Thailand permanently with the kids. Without proof that the wife and kids are no longer resident in the UK, she can still claim. If the wife has a UK permanent stay visa, it expires after 2 years if living outside of the EEC. If she only has a British passport she is imposed by the Thai Immigration rules. If dual nationality, British and Thai she can stay in Thailand indefinitely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarpSpeed Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Maybe not legally but how about morally?? He made children with her and now they are both their parental responsibility whether he sees them or not, why does he need a law to tell him that? He knows that and wants to support them but doesn't know how. What he could do is get a lawyer to talk to his mother-in-law and set up support that way. The old MIL's are generally the only sensible ones and will see the money goes to the right use. I see that now, but still the OP and the title is misleading as it didn't mention that until further along in the thread and I hadn't read quite that far... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exbelg Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 legally, if he does not want the children to go with her, he can claim a kidnapping file with police / interpoll and she , if found, would be jailed and the kids returned to him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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