Wife Telling Fibs

[tonititan]

:D You chose Tiger Woods as your example? Should we feel sorry for him that his wife was awarded some of his money? I guess, why not feel sorry for him?....he was such a loyal, honest, dutiful husband....except for the whole whoring it with a bunch of different girlfriends and prostitutes....oh, and convincing them to hide it from his wife who was at home alone taking care of his children.

So a married person who behaves badly in a relationship should have to give huge amounts of money away as compensation?

But murderers don't have to do that!

I'm not going to get involved in a long debate about whether or not she deserves the money. I know that there are a lot of people on this forum who have REALLY strong feelings about this topic, and are intensely bitter about what happened in their past divorces. We discussed the issue a few weeks ago on another thread. You are welcome to go read it if you really want to know my opinions. It's not worth the time or headache to start that whole conversation again.

The point I was making was not a broad generalization about whether cheating spouses should have to pay up. I just thought it was funny to pick such an unsavory fellow as an example of a "poor guy" who got "fleeced" by his wife after a divorce. He's not a good example of what can happen to Mr. Average. There are many marriages that break up, resulting in a fight over money, that do not involve one partner breaking their marriage vows so grossly. I would have more sympathy for a more likeable man/woman, who did not cause the marriage to end by doing terrible things, and then lost all of his/her money after a divorce.

If we want to use Tiger as a general example of wives "fleecing" their husbands and saying that all guys should be careful because women will try to get their money just like in Tiger's case.......then it can also go the other way, and we can say that just like Tiger cheated on his wife, all women should be worried & on the lookout for cheating husbands. And that's just silly. There are plenty of loyal, faithful men in the world, who are nothing at all like Tiger Woods.

[Ulysses G.]

There are plenty of loyal, faithful men in the world, who are nothing at all like Tiger Woods.

That is because they don't have the opportunities to have sex with young, amazingly attractive women that he has. Tiger is just a normal red-blooded heterosexual man - i.e. dirty dogs.

[pjclark1]

If we want to use Tiger as a general example of wives "fleecing" their husbands and saying that all guys should be careful because women will try to get their money just like in Tiger's case.......then it can also go the other way, and we can say that just like Tiger cheated on his wife, all women should be worried & on the lookout for cheating husbands. And that's just silly. There are plenty of loyal, faithful men in the world, who are nothing at all like Tiger Woods.

Maybe everyone should be earning their own money, rather than trying to take it away from someone else.

There are plenty of loyal, faithful men in the world, who are nothing at all like Tiger Woods.

That is because they don't have the opportunities to have sex with young, amazingly attractive women that he has. Tiger is just a normal red-blooded heterosexual man - i.e. dirty dogs.

In Thailand many western men become 'Tiger Woods' (Martin Sheen, Hugh Heffner, Rod Stewart, etc.)

Edited March 11, 2011 by pjclark1

[bifftastic]

Birthdays have no significance in Thai culture. Asking her to remember your birthday is the same as asking you to remember which animal in the Chinese calendar she was born under. The 'lie' was to save both of you the embarrassment of admitting your lack of knowledge. If you were Thai the situation wouldn't have happened. If you're offended by such insignificant things perhaps you ought to consider moving to Clacton.

Ah yes, Clacton. Well know home of the disgruntled.

[Berkshire]

There are plenty of loyal, faithful men in the world, who are nothing at all like Tiger Woods.

That is because they don't have the opportunities to have sex with young, amazingly attractive women that he has. Tiger is just a normal red-blooded heterosexual man - i.e. dirty dogs.

In Thailand many western men become 'Tiger Woods' (Martin Sheen, Hugh Heffner, Rod Stewart, etc.)

I'm with you, pjc/UG. The only difference between the typical guy in the west and guys in Thailand is that the latter has many more opportunities. That's it and that's all. Guys on TV write about how faithful they are to their wives, but out of all the farang guys that I know married to Thais, a very small percentage remain truly faithful. And even those that appear to be faithful, it almost seems like it's just a matter of time. Not making a judgment call, just sharing my observations.

[rixalex]

I give her a sensible amount every month, as she has no other income.

What stops her from working?

[David006]

When I first came to Thailand (many,many years ago) I was told there were two golden rules to remember, and if you did you wouldn't go far wrong.

Rule Number 1. Thais lie.

Rule number 2. They always f------g lie.

I haven't seen much over the years to contradict this.

Well it's a jolly good thing that in the west nobody lies eh..

Politicians,government spokesman, spin doctors, religious leaders, advertisements,teachers....etc...

did that dog really eat that assignment ????

what was your answer to "do these pants make my butt look big dear"???

oh ....rule number 3 ? never believe anything you hear from a foreigner

When I was in sales one very "clever" customer told me he knew I was lying as my lips were moving...wow I had never heard THAT before...

Lie-ten up guys

[mark45y]

I give her a sensible amount every month, as she has no other income.

What stops her from working?

My GF has a shop up North that sells gas and household items. It provides the income for her parents. She spends a week a month at the shop to re stock it and make sure things are going OK. I get a week alone every month. I like my week alone. 3 weeks faithful partner and one week Hugh Hefner works for me. I have to admit the only 100% faithful men I have encountered in Thailand are on Thai Visa. Perhaps Thai Visa is a faithful spouse magnet website. I am an equal opportunity kind of guy. Do I think the GF is getting a little on the side during her week up North? I would imagine she is. I have found that 30 to 40 year old women have quite high sex drives. I like variety she likes frequency. The week off from each other is a safety valve for both of us. I give her an allowance when she is with me for the three weeks and pay her bus fare up North.

Edited March 11, 2011 by mark45y

[mstribling]

Perhaps two people don't have really high word quotas they feel obligated to fulfill ever waking moment of the day. Maybe they don't feel the need to add fluff to their conversations such as" by definition" which isn't used in the proper context of the sentence.

Some people understand that silence doesn't equate to stupidity.

Some others? Well...

"dog shit! No step!" has the exact same meaning as " Beware where you are about to place your foot. I seem to have noticed that there is dog excrement on the soil"

It seems a lot of emphasis is placed on the speaking and not much on the listening.

Of course people don't have to speak all the time but they should have the ability to be able to express their thoughts and feelings, lack thereof prohibits what most people would consider a necessary basis for a healthy relationship.

Kids in the mix also adds a scary dimension, the types of people I talk about often have children who can't speak English at all (despite having a native speaking father) and speak Thai like an issan bargirl. These children have a bleak future as they will not be accepted by western or thai society.

But, if thats what you want in your life and for your kids future, go right ahead and marry someone you will never be able to communicate with properly. And again I said "properly."

If you need more clarification you are missing the point and I'm wasting my breath.

Bottom line; do whatever you want but don't be surprised when people look down on you and assume (in many cases truly) that you have bought youself a wh#re, plain and simple.

Good points.

You lost me on the bottom line though. People looking down on each other? On TV? Insinuating that men whom you have never met, wives are whores?

The Internet is crazy.

[mstribling]

I'm the OP on this thread, and it's time to comment on the replies. Thanks for some 'sage' advice from genuine posters, and I offer my sympathy to a few sad individuals who seem to have such a poor regard for Thais and Thailand that it may be in their interests to go home. I mean who would want to live in a country where they had such a low regard for their hosts ??

If you read my original post correctly, my intention was ask people's advice on how to handle an issue that was was irritating me. I have known my wife for three years, she has been to my home country three times. She managed to acccrue 20,000 baht on one visit, (no, not by selling herself) and to my surprise, when we got back to Thailand she spent the lot on a gold necklace for me. In the three years, she has never asked me for a penny. I give her a sensible amount every month, as she has no other income. She often buys food or something for my condo or for me when she goes out. In her small way, she constantly tries to contribute to our lives. I do trust her completely in the material sense. Many will say that is foolish, but I cannot lead a sad life of mistrust. Having said that, as with any significant other, I do keep my financial affairs safe and protected, as I would with a partner of any ethnicity. Many men have been taken to the cleaners by their English/Australia/American wives. You do not have to come to Thailand to get fleeced. People forget that. Ask Tiger Woods!.

One poster kindly provided me with the lyrics of a Kenny Rogers song, now bearing in mind my wife isn't an 18 year old doll, but an average woman in her mid 30's, here are some other lyrics.......... If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, so from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you!!

Picking out the well meant advice from the nonsense, I think I will just choose to ignore the trivial lies, and accept the fact that they are not malicious, or with the intention of gaining something from me, but a combination of a reluctance to put herself in conflict or confrontation with me, and a cultural/peer influence. At the same time, I will keep my eyes open, as everyone should do in any relationship.

Oh, for the person who called me a "troll" After my name there are the following letters BSc Applied Biology, BSc Rural and Remote Health, MSc Rural Health. Troll ???

There you are then.

I think you got it. Its simply the cultural differences.

Great job on a LOT of letters after your name.

[mstribling]

If we want to use Tiger as a general example of wives "fleecing" their husbands and saying that all guys should be careful because women will try to get their money just like in Tiger's case.......then it can also go the other way, and we can say that just like Tiger cheated on his wife, all women should be worried & on the lookout for cheating husbands. And that's just silly. There are plenty of loyal, faithful men in the world, who are nothing at all like Tiger Woods.

Maybe everyone should be earning their own money, rather than trying to take it away from someone else.

There are plenty of loyal, faithful men in the world, who are nothing at all like Tiger Woods.

That is because they don't have the opportunities to have sex with young, amazingly attractive women that he has. Tiger is just a normal red-blooded heterosexual man - i.e. dirty dogs.

In Thailand many western men become 'Tiger Woods' (Martin Sheen, Hugh Heffner, Rod Stewart, etc.)

I like to think myself more of a Charlie Sheen, with "Tiger Blood"

Probably more of a Homer though.

[sbk]

don't think the OP was talking about his cheating so lets drop that pointless digression. OP was asking for advice on how to discuss this issue with his wife and how to let her know it bothers him.

Any others who might have pertinent and helpful comments?

[mark45y]

I'm the OP on this thread, and it's time to comment on the replies. Thanks for some 'sage' advice from genuine posters, and I offer my sympathy to a few sad individuals who seem to have such a poor regard for Thais and Thailand that it may be in their interests to go home. I mean who would want to live in a country where they had such a low regard for their hosts ??

If you read my original post correctly, my intention was ask people's advice on how to handle an issue that was was irritating me. I have known my wife for three years, she has been to my home country three times. She managed to acccrue 20,000 baht on one visit, (no, not by selling herself) and to my surprise, when we got back to Thailand she spent the lot on a gold necklace for me. In the three years, she has never asked me for a penny. I give her a sensible amount every month, as she has no other income. She often buys food or something for my condo or for me when she goes out. In her small way, she constantly tries to contribute to our lives. I do trust her completely in the material sense. Many will say that is foolish, but I cannot lead a sad life of mistrust. Having said that, as with any significant other, I do keep my financial affairs safe and protected, as I would with a partner of any ethnicity. Many men have been taken to the cleaners by their English/Australia/American wives. You do not have to come to Thailand to get fleeced. People forget that. Ask Tiger Woods!.

One poster kindly provided me with the lyrics of a Kenny Rogers song, now bearing in mind my wife isn't an 18 year old doll, but an average woman in her mid 30's, here are some other lyrics.......... If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, so from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you!!

Picking out the well meant advice from the nonsense, I think I will just choose to ignore the trivial lies, and accept the fact that they are not malicious, or with the intention of gaining something from me, but a combination of a reluctance to put herself in conflict or confrontation with me, and a cultural/peer influence. At the same time, I will keep my eyes open, as everyone should do in any relationship.

Oh, for the person who called me a "troll" After my name there are the following letters BSc Applied Biology, BSc Rural and Remote Health, MSc Rural Health. Troll ???

There you are then.

I think you are saying you have decided not to try to change the woman.

I think that is a wise decision for anyone in a relationship regardless of gender.

[phutoie2]

Birthdays have no significance in Thai culture.

I find this quote puzzling. There are two significant birthdays every year, one in August and one in December.

In fact they are both public holidays.

[Kilgore Trout]

Perhaps two people don't have really high word quotas they feel obligated to fulfill ever waking moment of the day. Maybe they don't feel the need to add fluff to their conversations such as" by definition" which isn't used in the proper context of the sentence.

Some people understand that silence doesn't equate to stupidity.

Some others? Well...

"dog shit! No step!" has the exact same meaning as " Beware where you are about to place your foot. I seem to have noticed that there is dog excrement on the soil"

It seems a lot of emphasis is placed on the speaking and not much on the listening.

Of course people don't have to speak all the time but they should have the ability to be able to express their thoughts and feelings, lack thereof prohibits what most people would consider a necessary basis for a healthy relationship.

Kids in the mix also adds a scary dimension, the types of people I talk about often have children who can't speak English at all (despite having a native speaking father) and speak Thai like an issan bargirl. These children have a bleak future as they will not be accepted by western or thai society.

But, if thats what you want in your life and for your kids future, go right ahead and marry someone you will never be able to communicate with properly. And again I said "properly."

If you need more clarification you are missing the point and I'm wasting my breath.

Bottom line; do whatever you want but don't be surprised when people look down on you and assume (in many cases truly) that you have bought youself a wh#re, plain and simple.

Good points.

You lost me on the bottom line though. People looking down on each other? On TV? Insinuating that men whom you have never met, wives are whores?

The Internet is crazy.

I am only saying that if I, or most Western people (especially those who have never been to thailand) saw a marriage where the husband and wife are unable to communicate because of a language barrier (especially if the wife is Thai) most people are going to assume that your intentions are purely sexual because if you can't communicate with your wife then what else is there? Then that leads to the whole "buying your wife" thing, whether she is or was a working girl or not, if you can be bought for sex then you are a wh#re.

Most marriages like this, if the couple went to the west I would be certain that they would be looked down upon by most people, including their own family.

I'm not saying people should care, its your life, do what you want. But the reality is that you will be looked down upon and your marriage will never be truly accepted by your peers.

[mark45y]

Perhaps two people don't have really high word quotas they feel obligated to fulfill ever waking moment of the day. Maybe they don't feel the need to add fluff to their conversations such as" by definition" which isn't used in the proper context of the sentence.

Some people understand that silence doesn't equate to stupidity.

Some others? Well...

"dog shit! No step!" has the exact same meaning as " Beware where you are about to place your foot. I seem to have noticed that there is dog excrement on the soil"

It seems a lot of emphasis is placed on the speaking and not much on the listening.

Of course people don't have to speak all the time but they should have the ability to be able to express their thoughts and feelings, lack thereof prohibits what most people would consider a necessary basis for a healthy relationship.

Kids in the mix also adds a scary dimension, the types of people I talk about often have children who can't speak English at all (despite having a native speaking father) and speak Thai like an issan bargirl. These children have a bleak future as they will not be accepted by western or thai society.

But, if thats what you want in your life and for your kids future, go right ahead and marry someone you will never be able to communicate with properly. And again I said "properly."

If you need more clarification you are missing the point and I'm wasting my breath.

Bottom line; do whatever you want but don't be surprised when people look down on you and assume (in many cases truly) that you have bought youself a wh#re, plain and simple.

Good points.

You lost me on the bottom line though. People looking down on each other? On TV? Insinuating that men whom you have never met, wives are whores?

The Internet is crazy.

I am only saying that if I, or most Western people (especially those who have never been to thailand) saw a marriage where the husband and wife are unable to communicate because of a language barrier (especially if the wife is Thai) most people are going to assume that your intentions are purely sexual because if you can't communicate with your wife then what else is there? Then that leads to the whole "buying your wife" thing, whether she is or was a working girl or not, if you can be bought for sex then you are a wh#re.

Most marriages like this, if the couple went to the west I would be certain that they would be looked down upon by most people, including their own family.

I'm not saying people should care, its your life, do what you want. But the reality is that you will be looked down upon and your marriage will never be truly accepted by your peers.

I only mention this because one of us is incredibly far off base. Can a Western man who comes to live in Thailand actually care even a little bit what his peers think? The idea is so foreign to me that I can't even remotely relate to it.

[StreetCowboy]

I'm the OP on this thread, and it's time to comment on the replies. Thanks for some 'sage' advice from genuine posters, and I offer my sympathy to a few sad individuals who seem to have such a poor regard for Thais and Thailand that it may be in their interests to go home. I mean who would want to live in a country where they had such a low regard for their hosts ??

If you read my original post correctly, my intention was ask people's advice on how to handle an issue that was was irritating me. I have known my wife for three years, she has been to my home country three times. She managed to acccrue 20,000 baht on one visit, (no, not by selling herself) and to my surprise, when we got back to Thailand she spent the lot on a gold necklace for me. In the three years, she has never asked me for a penny. I give her a sensible amount every month, as she has no other income. She often buys food or something for my condo or for me when she goes out. In her small way, she constantly tries to contribute to our lives. I do trust her completely in the material sense. Many will say that is foolish, but I cannot lead a sad life of mistrust. Having said that, as with any significant other, I do keep my financial affairs safe and protected, as I would with a partner of any ethnicity. Many men have been taken to the cleaners by their English/Australia/American wives. You do not have to come to Thailand to get fleeced. People forget that. Ask Tiger Woods!.

One poster kindly provided me with the lyrics of a Kenny Rogers song, now bearing in mind my wife isn't an 18 year old doll, but an average woman in her mid 30's, here are some other lyrics.......... If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, so from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you!!

Picking out the well meant advice from the nonsense, I think I will just choose to ignore the trivial lies, and accept the fact that they are not malicious, or with the intention of gaining something from me, but a combination of a reluctance to put herself in conflict or confrontation with me, and a cultural/peer influence. At the same time, I will keep my eyes open, as everyone should do in any relationship.

Oh, for the person who called me a "troll" After my name there are the following letters BSc Applied Biology, BSc Rural and Remote Health, MSc Rural Health. Troll ???

There you are then.

I think you are saying you have decided not to try to change the woman.

I think that is a wise decision for anyone in a relationship regardless of gender.

Its easier to change wife than change your wife

SC

[mstribling]

I'm the OP on this thread, and it's time to comment on the replies. Thanks for some 'sage' advice from genuine posters, and I offer my sympathy to a few sad individuals who seem to have such a poor regard for Thais and Thailand that it may be in their interests to go home. I mean who would want to live in a country where they had such a low regard for their hosts ??

If you read my original post correctly, my intention was ask people's advice on how to handle an issue that was was irritating me. I have known my wife for three years, she has been to my home country three times. She managed to acccrue 20,000 baht on one visit, (no, not by selling herself) and to my surprise, when we got back to Thailand she spent the lot on a gold necklace for me. In the three years, she has never asked me for a penny. I give her a sensible amount every month, as she has no other income. She often buys food or something for my condo or for me when she goes out. In her small way, she constantly tries to contribute to our lives. I do trust her completely in the material sense. Many will say that is foolish, but I cannot lead a sad life of mistrust. Having said that, as with any significant other, I do keep my financial affairs safe and protected, as I would with a partner of any ethnicity. Many men have been taken to the cleaners by their English/Australia/American wives. You do not have to come to Thailand to get fleeced. People forget that. Ask Tiger Woods!.

One poster kindly provided me with the lyrics of a Kenny Rogers song, now bearing in mind my wife isn't an 18 year old doll, but an average woman in her mid 30's, here are some other lyrics.......... If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, so from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you!!

Picking out the well meant advice from the nonsense, I think I will just choose to ignore the trivial lies, and accept the fact that they are not malicious, or with the intention of gaining something from me, but a combination of a reluctance to put herself in conflict or confrontation with me, and a cultural/peer influence. At the same time, I will keep my eyes open, as everyone should do in any relationship.

Oh, for the person who called me a "troll" After my name there are the following letters BSc Applied Biology, BSc Rural and Remote Health, MSc Rural Health. Troll ???

There you are then.

I think you are saying you have decided not to try to change the woman.

I think that is a wise decision for anyone in a relationship regardless of gender.

Its easier to change wife than change your wife

SC

So true.

[mstribling]

Perhaps two people don't have really high word quotas they feel obligated to fulfill ever waking moment of the day. Maybe they don't feel the need to add fluff to their conversations such as" by definition" which isn't used in the proper context of the sentence.

Some people understand that silence doesn't equate to stupidity.

Some others? Well...

"dog shit! No step!" has the exact same meaning as " Beware where you are about to place your foot. I seem to have noticed that there is dog excrement on the soil"

It seems a lot of emphasis is placed on the speaking and not much on the listening.

Of course people don't have to speak all the time but they should have the ability to be able to express their thoughts and feelings, lack thereof prohibits what most people would consider a necessary basis for a healthy relationship.

Kids in the mix also adds a scary dimension, the types of people I talk about often have children who can't speak English at all (despite having a native speaking father) and speak Thai like an issan bargirl. These children have a bleak future as they will not be accepted by western or thai society.

But, if thats what you want in your life and for your kids future, go right ahead and marry someone you will never be able to communicate with properly. And again I said "properly."

If you need more clarification you are missing the point and I'm wasting my breath.

Bottom line; do whatever you want but don't be surprised when people look down on you and assume (in many cases truly) that you have bought youself a wh#re, plain and simple.

Good points.

You lost me on the bottom line though. People looking down on each other? On TV? Insinuating that men whom you have never met, wives are whores?

The Internet is crazy.

I am only saying that if I, or most Western people (especially those who have never been to thailand) saw a marriage where the husband and wife are unable to communicate because of a language barrier (especially if the wife is Thai) most people are going to assume that your intentions are purely sexual because if you can't communicate with your wife then what else is there? Then that leads to the whole "buying your wife" thing, whether she is or was a working girl or not, if you can be bought for sex then you are a wh#re.

Most marriages like this, if the couple went to the west I would be certain that they would be looked down upon by most people, including their own family.

I'm not saying people should care, its your life, do what you want. But the reality is that you will be looked down upon and your marriage will never be truly accepted by your peers.

Your points are valid and I understand where your coming from.

I just think that as people get older they stop judging books by their covers.

I used to look at people and form preconceived notions about them, without ever even speaking to them.

I was small.

Last bit and I'll try and stay on topic.

Almost every time I hear men talk about communication it usually ends up being :40+yr old men throwing temper-tantrums because they will wax on-and-on turning the conversation into word sausage, and their wife will respond by pointing at them with her lips and saying "uhhhh"

[tonititan]

I just think that as people get older they stop judging books by their covers.

I used to look at people and form preconceived notions about them, without ever even speaking to them.

I actually find the opposite to be true many times. That is, it seems like older people are often more judgmental and make more snap decisions about people, basing it on their own experiences and on how things were in "the good ol days." Younger people often tend to be open-minded, in my opinion.

[mstribling]

I just think that as people get older they stop judging books by their covers.

I used to look at people and form preconceived notions about them, without ever even speaking to them.

I actually find the opposite to be true many times. That is, it seems like older people are often more judgmental and make more snap decisions about people, basing it on their own experiences and on how things were in "the good ol days." Younger people often tend to be open-minded, in my opinion.

Very true.

I was using my personal experience. I am not old by any measure, well someone in school would think i'm old but...

As I travel more, meet people who are nothing like me, and matured enough to actually listen to people.

I personally am not judgmental anymore. I just mind my business, and enjoy the days.

[GreenSnapper]

Birthdays have no significance in Thai culture.

I find this quote puzzling. There are two significant birthdays every year, one in August and one in December.

In fact they are both public holidays.

Exactly.

It depends with whom you associate with. I see frequently birthday parties in upper class restaurants in Thailand.

And none of my girlfriends here ever forgot my birthday. I even get congratulating emails from ex-girlfriends on my birthday.

[mstribling]

Birthdays have no significance in Thai culture.

I find this quote puzzling. There are two significant birthdays every year, one in August and one in December.

In fact they are both public holidays.

Exactly.

It depends with whom you associate with. I see frequently birthday parties in upper class restaurants in Thailand.

And none of my girlfriends here ever forgot my birthday. I even get congratulating emails from ex-girlfriends on my birthday.

Very true. I always have a great time at my favorite go-go when it is a girls birthday party. The girls pay the bar for each other and the drinks flow.

Heck last time I was there the couldn't stopped butchering "Happy birthday"

[tonititan]

As I travel more, meet people who are nothing like me, and matured enough to actually listen to people.

I personally am not judgmental anymore.

I think that's the key. Obviously, I don't know you, but I would guess that much of your change in thinking came from traveling, experiencing other cultures, seeing different lifestyles, and meeting wonderful people unlike any you had met before.........and not necessarily from getting older. Some of the most judgmental, narrow-minded people I know are older folks who have pretty much stayed in the same place their whole lives and only know one reality.

[Kilgore Trout]

I'm not saying people should care, its your life, do what you want. But the reality is that you will be looked down upon and your marriage will never be truly accepted by your peers.

I only mention this because one of us is incredibly far off base. Can a Western man who comes to live in Thailand actually care even a little bit what his peers think? The idea is so foreign to me that I can't even remotely relate to it.

I would say yes. I am here because my wife wants to live here, pure and simple. I would prefer to live stateside, but I have a good job here and so does she. We just moved back after living in the us for the past couple of years where the economy has everyone reeling.

For my part, I behave no differently then I would at home. Just the opposite as to what you are referring to, I care more about what my friends and family think because people make so many assumptions about Thailand and the westerners living here. Your comments prove my point.

Don't paint all westerners in Thailand (or on this forum) with the same brush. Some of us live in the real world whilst being in thailand

[mstribling]

Well there you go then.

[welsh1]

My father once told me.he said son always tell the truth even if you got to make it up

[nocturn]

I've been here for several years and still don't understand why western men enter into marriage with someone they can't communicate with. Oh yeah, I understand that most of the early "communication" is in a universal language, but after a while you have to get out of bed. OK, here's my view -- maybe it's just easier for your wife to tell little short lies than to actually attempt the language to explain what's going on. It's time for you to learn Thai!

i suspect you may have nailed it.

[pjclark1]

I've been here for several years and still don't understand why western men enter into marriage with someone they can't communicate with. Oh yeah, I understand that most of the early "communication" is in a universal language, but after a while you have to get out of bed. OK, here's my view -- maybe it's just easier for your wife to tell little short lies than to actually attempt the language to explain what's going on. It's time for you to learn Thai!

i suspect you may have nailed it.

If I want to talk, I find a man.

If I want a shag, I find a woman.

Not all men are suitable for a talk.

Not all women are suitable for a shag.

But as generalisations go, it works for me.

As for a wife telling fibs, I can't say I notice with mine, I don't listen to her all that much so she can say anything she likes.

Far too many SNAGs worrying about what women want IMHO.

As long as my dinner is on the table when I come home from work .........

Edited March 11, 2011 by pjclark1

[GreenSnapper]

If I want to talk, I find a man.

If I want a shag, I find a woman.

Not all men are suitable for a talk.

Not all women are suitable for a shag.

But as generalisations go, it works for me.

Simple, but basically true.

I don't understand the Western concept that you need "communication" as most important for a good relationship. Actually, it is very rare. Perhaps 1% of all couples can communicate in a meaningful way. And even women of high intelligence often have that attitude what the Americans call "chick logic".

Those men who claim that they get useful advice from their wives rarely have a satisfying sexual life. Often they don't even know what it is actually.

Career women complain that they cannot find a partner. Rightfully so, they are rarely suitable for a partnership. Men know that instinctively.

Men should have good friends for good talks. And good wives or girlfriends for the other qualities you need. Very rarely you may find both qualities in a wife. That is the needle in a haystack.