Just Curious, How Many Of Us Ladies Have Kids?

[Boo]

yarpy, fyi mods aren't anti-male just anti troll & unfortunatly, most of our trolls are from men. Read a few of the pathetic & abusive posts we have had to deal with in the past & you will understand why we don't tolerate crap As per the rules (which I wrote) all are welcome provided they know how to behave themselves.

[yarpy]

Boo,

Ok. But I hope you take my point. I am treading carefully on this as it may be a case of a woman who'se child was abducted BUT on the facts she presented it doesn't ring true.

If she had posted 'he abducted the child and disappeared in to Issan for two years and neither the Thai authorities or the onanism's at the British Embassy did anything'. I would have posted 'amen sister we'll have a collection for you' because the British Embassy is useless.

But what she posted was that he abducted the child and returned to UK. She I assume knew where he was, she said he was having a ball, the British police would have been on him like waste matter on a bed covering.

If he had a Thai passport he would have been red flagged and detained at Heathrow. If a UK passport (possible after 8 years) he may have walked through Customs but once spotted all anyone had to do was call the rossers.

Well see what she responds with...

[samran]

Not married, no kids. Can't seem to find a love who actually LIVES in the same country as me.. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Been there, done that. Luckily no more.

Bun is in the oven and due in April.

Will be a Bangkok Baby with mixed Thai-Australian-NZ heritage. Will be a very confused child!

[cmsally]

If I'm not mistaken I read something on this before. The child was taken on Thai soil and to another part of Thailand (Isan). There would be no case for reporting him to British police should he choose (which he did) to go back to UK. However as a British child being kidnapped on Thai soil, you would think at least the Embassy would give some helpful advice. My advice to Seonai is to try and get her childs paperwork sorted out, just keep persevering on both Thai & UK. Also just to move forward and progress, no use on dwelling what could have and should have been. Try and teach her son as much English as she can and do the best she can everyday for him. Things will work out I'm sure. Don't go raking over or dwell on the past it won't help either of you. Just acknowledge it, let it go and build your future.

[too true]

Married. Two kids.  Both boys - 4 1/2 and 1 1/2.  When my first son was born, my husband called his mother to come up from the village to help out.  She brought her older sister with her.  After 4 days and endless torture about how I should only be eating sticky rice and barbecued pork, and then telling me I couldn't eat ripe mango because my uterus wouldn't shrink back to its normal size, I said to my husband "if they don't leave here soon, i'm checking into a hotel and taking the baby with me."  They were gone the next day, although I don't know quite how he handled the situation.  When our second son was born, she didn't come up at all.  No interference whatsoever.  When we go to visit his mom, if the family tries to tell me I'm doing this or that wrong with the boys, or if I don't let the boys eat ice cream for breakfast like some of the other kids, I just tell them that if they want another child to worry about and take care of, they are quite capable of having their own, but these are mine and no chocolate for breakfast! I smile when I say it and they don't take offence.  I'm not sure if they've accepted me or given up on me 

No ice cream for breakfast?

nothing but lima beans and cold porridge for the little devils Seriously, I totally agree with Jean about raising kids here. Sometimes the thing I find hardest is getting my husband to follow through on what "we" have agreed on. After having at least 5 dvds ruined by our oldest son, we told him that if he wanted to watch a movie, he had to get mummy or daddy to put it on for him. Well, don't I come home from the market the other night and hear my husband saying to him "oh, you know where they are. you can get it and put it on yourself." How can rules be enforced if the rulemakers aren't consistent???

[the scouser]

The child was taken on Thai soil and to another part of Thailand (Isan). There would be no case for reporting him to British police should he choose (which he did) to go back to UK.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My point exactly. As far as I'm aware, UK kidnapping laws are not applicable extra-territorially, and even if they were, there is a question over whether the action actually constituted kidnap. Having also read yarpy's thoughts on how long it takes to naturalise as a British citizen, I don't think I'd instruct him as my lawyer.

Scouse.

[yarpy]

Well I never said I was a UK trained lawyer did I?

On the passport thing he could have naturalised and got a British passport or elected to stick with the Thai one and just get an 'indefinite right to remain' stamp. Though I suspect he went with the UK passport.

If the child was the subject of a custody order and the Father in violation of that order took the kid abroad then upon returning to UK soil the father would definitely be banged up.

However in the circumstances were the child was in Thailand and then just spirited away then yes it is difficult to see what crime has been committed and by who? If the father says 'weren't me it was Auntie Porn' how can you prove or disprove?

I would have thought that the UK authorities would have made some attempt to contact the Thai authorities but if the local authorities refuse to help thats it. Happens a lot with Saudis snatching kids and returning to Saudi Arabia including famously a child (by a previously relationship) of the wife of the British Ambassador to the US (at the time), and you would have thought he'd have some pull!

In those circumstance you only option is a snatch back, which it seems she did and good for her.

[seonai]

Hi Yarpy and all who wrote regarding my son's case. Okay, I did not explain it well. In UK I have a custody order and am divorced on proven grounds of bad behaviour of ex husband who is the father of our son. After some time living in UK with my son I returned to a job in Thailand having emailed ex who said he was different now and all that....... so I thought it would be okay for him to have contact with his son. I am a decent person and didn't want to deprive them both of this.

Anyway, one day, the ex came to my house and beat me as I tried to sleep, saying he thought I had a new partner and that night he stole my son by force. There was no Thai standing by who was going to jump in and help. Of course I registered it with the police. Then the embassy - I can show you the hundreds of emails if you like. I was totally frantic, demented, sick..... I am his mother!!!!!

Then came the senario with the embassy. The ex stole my son's British Passport at the time of the abduction. And the British Embassy said..... "we cannot cancel or reissue a new passport without the Thai father's signature". I will look out the email if you want. That is straight up. Shocking. So...... I had no contact for months.... and you can imagine how bad I was. Eventually, one of the family of ex told me by phone that ex had left for UK. But the family said they had been instructed NOT to give my son to be or else be killed by the ex. It took nearly 1 and a 1/2 more years of calling every two days, crying, discussing my son's future etc before I got the go ahead to go and get him in the Ex's absence. Not a HIT - which many people offered me - but I just went up there, spoke with the grannies as they are the nicest, and said I was taking him. It was his choice too.

As far as we know, ex is still in UK.

When I said 'having a ball' I just meant that he'd dumped our son and was of earning UK money. Sorry for misunderstanding.

Right now, I sometimes feel like revenge... but what would be the point? The guy is a B#######. Through to the heart unfortunately.

Well there you have it. I am whacked writing this as it brings back such horrific memories. Horrific.... hearing your son crying down the telephone and not being able to give a hug.....

Over and out,

Seonai - not the same person I was before

[kat]

Seonai, you've been through it. Thanks the universe or whomever that you got your son back.

And yes, the response of the British Embassy was absolutely shocking. It sounds like a response you'd get in the middle of Saudi Arabia, and yet it was right here in Thailand. Shocking.

[seonai]

thanks Kat, well I don't want to dwell on the past as it hurts like ######, but thanks. I am still fighting. Thanks.

[kat]

You can post here or PM people to get support whenever you need it. You don't have to be strong alone.

[sbk]

Absolutely.

And you can look on the bright side, if he's in England that means he's not here.

[seonai]

Thanks TEAM. Wish i'd known about you guys a LONG time ago......

[opothai]

Hi Yarpy and all who wrote regarding my son's case. Okay, I did not explain it well. In UK I have a custody order and am divorced on proven grounds of bad behaviour of ex husband who is the father of our son. After some time living in UK with my son I returned to a job in Thailand having emailed ex who said he was different now and all that....... so I thought it would be okay for him to have contact with his son. I am a decent person and didn't want to deprive them both of this.

Anyway, one day, the ex came to my house and beat me as I tried to sleep, saying he thought I had a new partner and that night he stole my son by force. There was no Thai standing by who was going to jump in and help. Of course I registered it with the police. Then the embassy - I can show you the hundreds of emails if you like. I was totally frantic, demented, sick..... I am his mother!!!!!

Then came the senario with the embassy. The ex stole my son's British Passport at the time of the abduction. And the British Embassy said..... "we cannot cancel or reissue a new passport without the Thai father's signature". I will look out the email if you want. That is straight up. Shocking. So...... I had no contact for months.... and you can imagine how bad I was. Eventually, one of the family of ex told me by phone that ex had left for UK. But the family said they had been instructed NOT to give my son to be or else be killed by the ex. It took nearly 1 and a 1/2 more years of calling every two days, crying, discussing my son's future etc before I got the go ahead to go and get him in the Ex's absence. Not a HIT - which many people offered me - but I just went up there, spoke with the grannies as they are the nicest, and said I was taking him. It was his choice too. 

As far as we know, ex is still in UK.

When I said 'having a ball' I just meant that he'd dumped our son and was of earning UK money. Sorry for misunderstanding.

Right now, I sometimes feel like revenge... but what would be the point? The guy is a B#######. Through to the heart unfortunately.

Well there you have it. I am whacked writing this as it brings back such horrific memories. Horrific.... hearing your son crying down the telephone and not being able to give a hug.....

Over and out,

Seonai -  not the same person I was before

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

now you have explained more i understand, my original post was not meant to be nasty in any way as some members have obviously thought. when you mention now that you lived in england and your son had a british passport i can understand your reason for contacting the british embassy.

[seonai]

Cool Opothai, thanks,

Seonai

[bggg]

I have heard somewhere that a Thai father has almost absolute rights with a child under Thai law. Anyone have knowledge of this?

[Trebilcock]

Interference

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sorry to hijack your thread, ladies, but Mrs Scouse is pregnant, and it is the potential for interference from my mother (an ex-midwife) which is concerning me. In order to obviate any conflict, I've already spoken to her and explained that the child is my wife's and that whereas we'll be happy for my mother to interact with her grandchild, any decision with regard to the child's upbringing is ultimately Mrs Scouse's. So fingers crossed..........

Scouse.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Congratulations, Scouse! Never met you mate, and probably never will, but boy have you helped me with useful info in the past. God bless all three of you.

[too true]

I have heard somewhere that a Thai father has almost absolute rights with a child under Thai law. Anyone have knowledge of this?

Thai people have told me that the sons stay with the mother and the daughters go with the father. I always figured that the sons could support the mother and the daughters could take care of the father, but I've since been informed that the daughter goes with the father because there's less of a chance of him molesting her than her mother's new boyfriend/husband. This information comes from village folk, not university texts, of course.

[sbk]

I've heard that too but don't know if it is the law or not. Often enough the kids end up with the grandparents anyway. Best to ask a lawyer.

[the scouser]

Congratulations, Scouse! Never met you mate, and probably never will, but boy have you helped me with useful info in the past. God bless all three of you.:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks Trebilcock. I still do have your name in my little black book as owing me a pint or 2.

Scouse.

[mich]

hey guys a bit of bad news I have two kids, one of which has just left for uni in Scotland the other is here with my husband and I and still has about another 10 years to go before she leaves, but the bad news is in-laws are always there even if they live in another country and they will interfer in sometimes the most secretive ways. You will have to keep your eyes and ears open at all times and if they do interfer then you MUSTstand up to them.

Good luck when the newone comes along scous