Thai Wife

[happydaze]

I had a short romance in Thailand witch resulted in pregnancy. Before we found that out we where making arangment for her to come to Australia for a holiday to get to know each other better before making any sort of commitment. As it happend I never had a chance to have a family with my former wife and I was quite happy to take a chance on this lovey lady and marry her. This was not a ploy to get to Australia by her as she really never wanted to be pregnant or leave her family in such a way, but she also did not want to abort. She came to Australia on a torist visa, we married and got a temperary 2 year visa and so on.

The problems started after the birth, she misses having money, she has a mother that wants money all the usual stuff you hear from thai women. If it was not for my child we would surly be seperated. I would like to know that if I cancel her visa and apply for a devorce, would she be entitle to my assets that I had prior to marrage. I know she can apply to stay and get leagal help but I would be applying for custody. I also know I would have to give up somthing or give her some money to return to a life back home, but just how much is starting to worry me.

I know I would never loose my child as I would give it all up just to keep him, he is Australian with no passport, but if it all ends I also do not want to be stuggling with my child for the next 18 years because his mother is living the good life back home.

Has anyone advice on what the worst, best and farest out come may be.

Thank you.

[saintofsilence]

Sorry to hear about your problems but how long have you been together ? because that has a lot to do with her entitlement to your assets along with a few other things.

If you are sure about getting a divorce you would be better off moving her out as soon as possible and taking care of the child will prove to be in your favour if she makes a claim on your house.

[harrry]

THe court could well give her custody. Also she would be entitled to the sha\re the court gives of assets. You also will have to pay Child support and it will nbe taken out of your tax.

[mike123ca]

I would offer her a plane ticket back to Thailand. Then I would proceed to get her marriage visa voided. Then proceed with the divorce.If she wants to contest the divorce then she can do that from Thailand on her own dime. I know if I was to divorce my wife in Thailand, there is no one from the Thai Government going to provide assistance to a male farang.

[happydaze]

Saintofsilence--- I have been married 1 year now. Does that make a big difference.. (thanks for the Advice)

[gregb]

I think it will be much cheaper for you in the long run to quit your job, move to Thailand and take up teaching English for whatever amount you can get. Then you can get divorced in Thailand. This divorce will be recognized in Australia, and the Thai courts have a much better policy on division of assets. She will be entitled to very little of yours legally. You'll get to keep everything you owned before the marriage, she'll get to keep everything she owned before the marriage, but she will be entitled to half of all the assets you acquired during your marriage.

You will get shared custody of your child, but there is a very good chance she will let you have sole custody and take the child to live with you in Australia for a sum of money. It would just be a negotiation to see how much.

This scenario will leave you needing a new job when you return to Australia, but most of your assets would remain intact. I think it is much preferable to what is going to happen if you divorce while still living there. Check with someone knowledgeable about family law in Australia as to how long you must remain outside the country before Australia considers itself to no longer have jurisdiction. In some countries, this can be as long as 12 months.

I don't know how much you have to lose, but there is a very good chance that if you do this Australia, you will lose it.

If she isn't thrilled about the idea of moving back to Thailand, tell her you have a good job lined up there, and that you'll have more money than you currently have in Australia. If I guess correctly on the background of your wife, this will be a persuasive argument. When you get there, its no fault of yours the job fell through.

[happydaze]

Sorry to hear about your problems but how long have you been together ? because that has a lot to do with her entitlement to your assets along with a few other things.

If you are sure about getting a divorce you would be better off moving her out as soon as possible and taking care of the child will prove to be in your favour if she makes a claim on your house.

We have been married for one year now. Does that entitle her to much?

[happydaze]

I think it will be much cheaper for you in the long run to quit your job, move to Thailand and take up teaching English for whatever amount you can get. Then you can get divorced in Thailand. This divorce will be recognized in Australia, and the Thai courts have a much better policy on division of assets. She will be entitled to very little of yours legally. You'll get to keep everything you owned before the marriage, she'll get to keep everything she owned before the marriage, but she will be entitled to half of all the assets you acquired during your marriage.

You will get shared custody of your child, but there is a very good chance she will let you have sole custody and take the child to live with you in Australia for a sum of money. It would just be a negotiation to see how much.

This scenario will leave you needing a new job when you return to Australia, but most of your assets would remain intact. I think it is much preferable to what is going to happen if you divorce while still living there. Check with someone knowledgeable about family law in Australia as to how long you must remain outside the country before Australia considers itself to no longer have jurisdiction. In some countries, this can be as long as 12 months.

I don't know how much you have to lose, but there is a very good chance that if you do this Australia, you will lose it.

If she isn't thrilled about the idea of moving back to Thailand, tell her you have a good job lined up there, and that you'll have more money than you currently have in Australia. If I guess correctly on the background of your wife, this will be a persuasive argument. When you get there, its no fault of yours the job fell through.

Thanks, I have thought about that.

[happydaze]

Sorry to hear about your problems but how long have you been together ? because that has a lot to do with her entitlement to your assets along with a few other things.

If you are sure about getting a divorce you would be better off moving her out as soon as possible and taking care of the child will prove to be in your favour if she makes a claim on your house.

We have been married for one year now. Does that entitle her to much?

Should I sell my house and put what money is left into my sister account before I proced with anything?

[Mario2008]

It depends, but often the assets are split under the law of the country you got married. If Thai law applies, you would only split assets acquired during the marriage. What you had before the marriage is left out .

Since both of you are in Australia, there can be only one advise: contact a competent Australian lawyer, specialized in family law.

[happydaze]

It depends, but often the assets are split under the law of the country you got married. If Thai law applies, you would only split assets acquired during the marriage. What you had before the marriage is left out .

Since both of you are in Australia, there can be only one advise: contact a competent Australian lawyer, specialized in family law.

thank you.

[Boo]

have you discussed any of the issues you have faced directly with your wife & talked about the options & repercussions if she continues to put her thai family first?

Is she aware of your plan to try to divorce & her return to thailand alone?

[vont]

I think it will be much cheaper for you in the long run to quit your job, move to Thailand and take up teaching English for whatever amount you can get. Then you can get divorced in Thailand. This divorce will be recognized in Australia, and the Thai courts have a much better policy on division of assets. She will be entitled to very little of yours legally. You'll get to keep everything you owned before the marriage, she'll get to keep everything she owned before the marriage, but she will be entitled to half of all the assets you acquired during your marriage.

You will get shared custody of your child, but there is a very good chance she will let you have sole custody and take the child to live with you in Australia for a sum of money. It would just be a negotiation to see how much.

This scenario will leave you needing a new job when you return to Australia, but most of your assets would remain intact. I think it is much preferable to what is going to happen if you divorce while still living there. Check with someone knowledgeable about family law in Australia as to how long you must remain outside the country before Australia considers itself to no longer have jurisdiction. In some countries, this can be as long as 12 months.

I don't know how much you have to lose, but there is a very good chance that if you do this Australia, you will lose it.

If she isn't thrilled about the idea of moving back to Thailand, tell her you have a good job lined up there, and that you'll have more money than you currently have in Australia. If I guess correctly on the background of your wife, this will be a persuasive argument. When you get there, its no fault of yours the job fell through.

gregb

don't we all sort of agree that honesty is the best policy?

you are sounding like the current thai govt, saying anything and everything that would help itself to look good,

whether or not the info is factual or not is another issue in the mind of the announcers altogether....

that is another reason that we ought to stick to honesty in dealing with someone that at least once upon a time was closest to us....

if i were you, i would rather give more to her than less.

at the very least, you have the peace of mind.... that you did your best.

an unsought after advice from an old owl.

with all my empathy. :jap:

[happydaze]

have you discussed any of the issues you have faced directly with your wife & talked about the options & repercussions if she continues to put her thai family first?

Is she aware of your plan to try to divorce & her return to thailand alone?

Hi boo, yes I have tried to talk with her, she doesnt know about my plans.. infact we dont talk at all anymore. I do know she has somthing on her mind. She left her hotmail page open one night and I could see she was applying for jobs back in thailand. I dont really want to air my laundry on a web site, but there are many staments she makes to make me feel this way. One is that she told me I should take a second wife, only after 1 year in marrage. I said one's bad enough...she started sleeping in the babies room. so all this tells me that her heart is not in our marrage. so thats why I am seeking addvice.

[vont]

have you discussed any of the issues you have faced directly with your wife & talked about the options & repercussions if she continues to put her thai family first?

Is she aware of your plan to try to divorce & her return to thailand alone?

Is she aware of your plan to try to divorce & her return to thailand alone?

This is the lady whose opinion is always appreciated and valued.

[vont]

have you discussed any of the issues you have faced directly with your wife & talked about the options & repercussions if she continues to put her thai family first?

Is she aware of your plan to try to divorce & her return to thailand alone?

Hi boo, yes I have tried to talk with her, she doesnt know about my plans.. infact we dont talk at all anymore. I do know she has somthing on her mind. She left her hotmail page open one night and I could see she was applying for jobs back in thailand. I dont really want to air my laundry on a web site, but there are many staments she makes to make me feel this way. One is that she told me I should take a second wife, only after 1 year in marrage. I said one's bad enough...she started sleeping in the babies room. so all this tells me that her heart is not in our marrage. so thats why I am seeking addvice.

i don't know either of you personally.

but i do feel that you are taking advantage of her in many many different ways.

you said you have tried to talk to her?

did you try to talk to her in actuality? or did you try to pass on information that you deem IMPORTANT to her, all the while assuming that you are talking to her and that she is being imperceptive to you or your needs or your wishes.

maybe as one wise counseling psychologist Tison once said.... try to talk with your spouse, not talk to your spouse, if you desire everlasting peace in the family....

you guys ought to be still in your honeymoon stage, not thinking nor planning about divorcing....

you really ought to seek a state certified counseling psychologist involvement. but then it is really up to you.

like boo said.... you really ought to be more honest with her, whether who is at fault is another issue altogether.

be an honest man and take the first most difficult step.... :jap:

[Patsycat]

I read stories here and elsewhere about men who marry Thai ladies and a few years down the line decide that it is not working.

In most of the cases, according to the men, it is always the woman's fault.

Do these men actually look in the mirror, think that their wives have given up alot to move to God knows where in the Outback? And then they (the men) cry because little miss perfect didn't live up to their expectations?

Call me a Western, fat, feminazi. But those little Issan girls have a lot more balls than a lot of you men who thought you could mold them into your dream girl.

Rant over

[vont]

I read stories here and elsewhere about men who marry Thai ladies and a few years down the line decide that it is not working.

In most of the cases, according to the men, it is always the woman's fault.

Do these men actually look in the mirror, think that their wives have given up alot to move to God knows where in the Outback? And then they (the men) cry because little miss perfect didn't live up to their expectations?

Call me a Western, fat, feminazi. But those little Issan girls have a lot more balls than a lot of you men who thought you could mold them into your dream girl.

Rant over

Patsycat

Thx a million for speaking your mind and also

speaking for a large majority of those poor Asian ladies out there.

More power to you Patsycat! Three cheers for you. :jap: :jap: :jap:

[Patsycat]

I read stories here and elsewhere about men who marry Thai ladies and a few years down the line decide that it is not working.

In most of the cases, according to the men, it is always the woman's fault.

Do these men actually look in the mirror, think that their wives have given up alot to move to God knows where in the Outback? And then they (the men) cry because little miss perfect didn't live up to their expectations?

Call me a Western, fat, feminazi. But those little Issan girls have a lot more balls than a lot of you men who thought you could mold them into your dream girl.

Rant over

Patsycat

Thx a million for speaking your mind and also

speaking for a large majority of those poor Asian ladies out there.

More power to you Patsycat! Three cheers for you. :jap: :jap: :jap:

Thanks, I just thought it needed to be said.

[happydaze]

have you discussed any of the issues you have faced directly with your wife & talked about the options & repercussions if she continues to put her thai family first?

Is she aware of your plan to try to divorce & her return to thailand alone?

Is she aware of your plan to try to divorce & her return to thailand alone?

This is the lady whose opinion is always appreciated and valued.

Boo, I do not want to Divorce her, I do love her a lot. But i know she doesnt really love me. I listen to her and even when she was deppresed 3 months after of baby was borne I sent her home to see he family to make her feel better. She did not returne for 5 weeks. I had to take care of he baby and work, all her thai friend commended me on everything I was doing, and quite often told her that 1 in 100 men would make the effort I do. Its not what it sounds. I know lots of old men marry young ladies, But I have really tried and gave up a lot myself. I am just doing the ground work as I know she is to. She has done here research on divorce as well. I am just doing the same.

regards.

[happydaze]

To Vont---

Yes its really hard to get everything in our relationship out on this site, its my first time on a forum and I was just seeking legal addvice, but some peoples opinions are great and some are just rubbish, like all this poor little issan girl stuff.. Firstly read what I replied on Boo's page and I would like to add further that I have triedto talk and would you believe that when put my concerns to her, she comments that I am being to sensitive. It is my way to talk through things. My best friend is no phycologhst but a very good counceler. He also has talked with her and me about everything.. she then gets upset that I actualy talk with someone for there point of view. His oppinion is that she has a life plan and I am not a long term part in it. I am just a good father for the moment. Even last night I was told by her that i dont know her and never really will. She is really a closed book. And that is why I am "only" doing some research to see what all my options are... Yes your are right, there is no one at fault. When she fell pregnant I made an offer as an adault and as and adault she excepted, to give our unbourne son life. At the time we both agreed if it did not work then thats life. But there seems to be more going on then I can deal with.. I know thai cultur is difficult but her family (mother) has far more assests then I do and she has mannged to get $12,000 AU out of me to this day. My wife main goal seems to be her life back in thailand and the growth of the family fortune.

[happydaze]

To Patsycat

You have lost me about what your talking about, poor little issan girl?? , her family has more money then me, she is highly educated, had thailand at her feet. She taveled abroud, she had a brand new car. Infact her life was perfect for " a poor little thai girl". She had no need to meet and marry a farang and I had NO interest in marrying a thai girl. We where friends fo a while, she was going to come and travel around my country with me. but opps she feel pregnant. So I believe I done all the right thing, did not want to kill the baby. As adaults we thought we would give it a shot at a life here. But mate if things are not working then thats not anyones fault. we are still nice to each other, but when all her issan friends living in my country are telling me that I am doing more then i should and be carful of her & family, then yes mate alarm bells start to rings..My sons future is No 1 now.. every dollar is for his future, not some greedy thai family..whats your thoughts??

Edited May 6, 2011 by starluck

[saintofsilence]

Sorry to hear about your problems but how long have you been together ? because that has a lot to do with her entitlement to your assets along with a few other things.

If you are sure about getting a divorce you would be better off moving her out as soon as possible and taking care of the child will prove to be in your favour if she makes a claim on your house.

We have been married for one year now. Does that entitle her to much?

Having only been married a short time is definetly in your favour if you plan to stay together and worried about your assets go to a lawyer and set up a trust and get legal advice on protecting your assets.

[happydaze]

I just want to add, that I have many thai friends here and in thailand, none of witch are bar girls, but some of my friends have married bar girls and they are great people to and good mums. This whole post is not about doing over some poor little thai girl. Remember my son is half thai. There is no racism or disrespect for thai women. I am just looking for info or advice.. or people who have experienced a similar things.

Just for the record my Thai mother in law was admited to hospital :violin:the day after my wife told her she (we) where not going to help finance another house puchase. It was a break down.. 2 days later she was as good as gold..and back to her old self.... funny that.

Thanks

Edited May 6, 2011 by starluck

[happydaze]

Sorry to hear about your problems but how long have you been together ? because that has a lot to do with her entitlement to your assets along with a few other things.

If you are sure about getting a divorce you would be better off moving her out as soon as possible and taking care of the child will prove to be in your favour if she makes a claim on your house.

We have been married for one year now. Does that entitle her to much?

Having only been married a short time is definetly in your favour if you plan to stay together and worried about your assets go to a lawyer and set up a trust and get legal advice on protecting your assets.

Thanks again saint, a trust I have heard is a good idea, one again its my son's future I am most concerned about..

[Isee]

Sorry to hear about your problems but how long have you been together ? because that has a lot to do with her entitlement to your assets along with a few other things.

If you are sure about getting a divorce you would be better off moving her out as soon as possible and taking care of the child will prove to be in your favour if she makes a claim on your house.

We have been married for one year now. Does that entitle her to much?

Having only been married a short time is definetly in your favour if you plan to stay together and worried about your assets go to a lawyer and set up a trust and get legal advice on protecting your assets.

Thanks again saint, a trust I have heard is a good idea, one again its my son's future I am most concerned about..

Creating a trust will not help you in your current circumstances in relation to financial matters and 'new trusts' come under scrutiny in any event. Asking for legal advice on this forum....you might as well go down to the local pub and ask the local drunk with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth trying to score free drinks.

Stick her on a plane with a one way ticket (or refundable return if a one way wouldn't go unnoticed) to go back home to have a break or whatever to make her think you are doing her a favour and encourage her to take all the time in the world (don't send her money - as you will evidence financial dependency = spousal maintenance). Your separation period can begin from the date she started sleeping in another room if you are both of the view that the marriage has irrevocably broken down. The practical consideration for you is whether you can cope with being a single parent working full-time. Be careful of what you write in emails etc. The Aus family law system favours women in child matters, but you can use the system to your advantage if you can break the primary care giving role due to an absent mother. The problem is that there are a lot of considerations to take into account with legal matters and fully informed advice couldn't be given in any event on the information you provided. The best outcome would be her finding a job in LOS giving you and your son time to create a status quo of you being the primary care giver where you can use the good ole thai response of "no promplem" can send son over later when he is old enough to travel. The sooner she leaves the better for you and your son having a decent chance of having the benefits of being raised in a first world country.