Need Help Protecting Myself While Helping Step Daughter

[samthedog]

I will be divocing my wife of 3 years. When we were married she already had a daughter 4 years at the time. I have enrolled the daughter in a good private School with an English program. Now here is the problem. The daughter wants to live with "Dad" (Me) and not Mom. The mother is fine with her daughter living with me, (I suspect that it will free the mother up to go indulge in Illegal substances). But what I am worried about is that when the mothers bank account runs dry and she needs more money to supprot her "Fun" habit I could be targeted.

Right now the Mother is not to far gone and has plenty of money in her name so she is pretty reasonable. Is there a legal Thai document that I can get showing that mother has consented to me taking care of the daughter? If so what is it and where do we get it??? Help please, I want to take care of the daughter and raise her properly but I don't want problems further down the road.

Thanks,

Sam

[Mario2008]

You can get prmisison from the mother to take care of the child, in writing, but this could always be revoked by the mother. I presue you can have a lawyer write soemthing up or make your own agreement.

Drug use is of course a serious crime in Thaiand and reason for arrest. A Thai judge can remove parental powers from the mother if she is deemed a danger to the child or unable to take care of the child and place it in the care of somebody else. You would be a logical choice, but it could be a family member.

[samthedog]

Mario:

Thank you very much. I have just written something in English and used Google Translate to translate it to Thai. I know google Translate is not very good but I want to have "Something" in my hands today. I understand that drug use is not tolerated in Thailand and I know I can always go that route but I was hoping for something that I could keep with me for now. I remember when we wanted to get the daughter a Thai Passport we had to go to a Gov't office with a bunch of the wifes family members to declare that the Biological Father was not in the picture and his where abouts where unkown. This was required by the passport office even though the daughters last name is the same as the mothers maiden name.

Is there some such "Legal" Thai paper that the mother can sign saying that she is giving consent for her daughter to live with me?

My main worry is some crazy drug dealer talking her into extorting money from me later on. A legal Thai document would send the BIB away should they come knocking late some night with a crazy mother screaming all sorts of insanities.

I may be over thinking this, but I would rather have all my ducks in order and put away in a drawer.

Thanks again.

Sam

[samthedog]

Also recomdations of an above board lawyer would be greatly appriciated also.

Thanks

Sam

[BuckarooBanzai]

If you have not done so already you may want to legally adopt the child which only requires you, your wife, your child, and the local government office. The process is very quick, at least used to be when I did it. This would give your a much stronger position if problems arise later. Then with the help of a lawyer I believe your wife can grant you full custody of the child. As far as lawyers you did not mention where you are.

[Mario2008]

He cannot adopt, as he is divorcing the mother. In Thailand, only a married couple can adopt.

[BuckarooBanzai]

He cannot adopt, as he is divorcing the mother. In Thailand, only a married couple can adopt.

If they are not yet divorced there is no reason why the adoption agreement can not be carried out - IMHO.

The OP says the mother is being pretty reasonable and if she really cares about the kid she may agree to the process. Like I mentioned it is quick for Thai natural mother and Farang step father and a child that can speak on their own behalf.

Edited May 14, 2011 by BuckarooBanzai

[Mario2008]

He cannot adopt, as he is divorcing the mother. In Thailand, only a married couple can adopt.

If they are not yet divorced there is no reason why the adoption agreement can not be carried out - IMHO.

The OP says the mother is being pretty reasonable and if she really cares about the kid she may agree to the process. Like I mentioned it is quick for Thai natural mother and Farang step father and a child that can speak on their own behalf.

A stable relationship is required and I suspect a home study or at least some interviews.

But interesting that you went through it. How long was the process and what did it entail?

[BuckarooBanzai]

He cannot adopt, as he is divorcing the mother. In Thailand, only a married couple can adopt.

If they are not yet divorced there is no reason why the adoption agreement can not be carried out - IMHO.

The OP says the mother is being pretty reasonable and if she really cares about the kid she may agree to the process. Like I mentioned it is quick for Thai natural mother and Farang step father and a child that can speak on their own behalf.

A stable relationship is required and I suspect a home study or at least some interviews.

But interesting that you went through it. How long was the process and what did it entail?

http://www.thaivisa....69#entry4250769

See above thread. Took a few hours if I remember correctly.

Edit - Make sure you go down the thread a bit to see the adoption papers.

Edited May 14, 2011 by BuckarooBanzai

[Mario2008]

I'm not sure if you really adopted the child, and didn't legitimized her instead. (Translators are not always familiar with technical terms).

There are some differences between the two, but in both cases you become the legal father.

Since the child of the OP is 7 years old, she can make a statement and the way to the amphur to legtimize the child is open. But if another person is mentioned as the fahter on the birth certificate, questions could be raised. It will all depend on the amphur.

[BuckarooBanzai]

I'm not sure if you really adopted the child, and didn't legitimized her instead. (Translators are not always familiar with technical terms).

There are some differences between the two, but in both cases you become the legal father.

Since the child of the OP is 7 years old, she can make a statement and the way to the amphur to legtimize the child is open. But if another person is mentioned as the fahter on the birth certificate, questions could be raised. It will all depend on the amphur.

I know you are trying to do the right thing. My daughter's natural father is dead (after my adoption) and both the US government and the Thai Government except my daughter as my own.

[samthedog]

Thank all of you for your suggestions. Today the soon to be Ex signed a quick paper saying that she wants the girl to live me. She also signed a paper that I will use when applying for a Non-"O" Visa in KL as discussed in another forum. I told her that once I get my new Visa I was going to have an attorney draw up a paper saying wants the child to live with me. She was open to doing so with no problems.

The angle I am using that seems to be working is:

"The better education your daughter gets now will lead to a better job later. A better job later will mean the more money she will earn to help support you later in life."

When in Thailand, try to think like ...............

Thank's to all of you again. I will keep you posted.

Sam

[BuckarooBanzai]

Thank all of you for your suggestions. Today the soon to be Ex signed a quick paper saying that she wants the girl to live me. She also signed a paper that I will use when applying for a Non-"O" Visa in KL as discussed in another forum. I told her that once I get my new Visa I was going to have an attorney draw up a paper saying wants the child to live with me. She was open to doing so with no problems.

The angle I am using that seems to be working is:

"The better education your daughter gets now will lead to a better job later. A better job later will mean the more money she will earn to help support you later in life."

When in Thailand, try to think like ...............

Thank's to all of you again. I will keep you posted.

Sam

Best to you and yours Sam!