Wild Mixed Kids.

[mizzi39]

This is how our little one responds when asked to pick up his toys. Edited June 9, 2011 by mizzi39

[soundman]

This is how our little one responds when asked to pick up his toys.

If you ask me, that's pretty normal.

My kids, and with the help of their cousins can turn a normal room into a disaster zone in the blink of an eye, and when its time to clean up, in another blink of the eye they have all turned into chameleons and blended in with the walls.

[MikeyIdea]

I have noticed this over many years. It is not always true, but generally luk krungs are much more agressive than 100% Thai childrern.

My kids are more aggressive because my thai wife is more aggressive and can not hold her temper.

Ha

The kind of temper that would make a swarm of African killerbees green of envy?

Your wife wouldn't by any chance have the same genes as my wife?

Yes, that does certainly affect how our children turn out

About that luk krungs are more agressive than 100% Thai children. Agree. I think another reason could be that the mother and father have very different styles and don't communicate well enough with each other on how to bring up their child so the child simply get confused by the mixed messages that are sent

And role modelling - Like Idea's mother, she gets agressive and loud when I want to discuss how to handle situations and how we should align our efforts. That can't be good for my (somewhat aggressive) angel But who can blame her for behaving the same way her mother does

Edited June 10, 2011 by MikeyIdea

[MikeyIdea]

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...and i attribute that to my wife's inability to talk to the kids and me in a normal tone of voice. Not to mention the double standard she has when it comes to who is doing what wrong. Just this last weekend she said she tries to teach the kids and i asked her what is she trying to teach them ? How to yell and scream at everyone? Plus i told her she is teaching by example no matter what she says to them. If she throws her clothes on the floor then she should not yell at the kids for doing the same

...

You are echoing thousands of frustrated western fathers with those words I suspect

Something very important that - teaching by example. I have tried to teach my wife the importance of teaching by example and role modelling for 6 years now and it's (still) a total failure. I find that many Thais do not accept the concept of that how you behave is teaching your child that behaviour. Well educated Thais in the office agree with the effect but quite a few of them do not accept that the person is <teaching> the child. My not-so-well-educated neighbours are all anti using the word <teaching> and do often not accept that how you behave is teaching your child anything at all. They also get defensive which indicate to me that they at least to some extent agree with the effect even though they are unwilling / uninterested in acting on it

Anyone has any advice on how to succeed in teaching a Thai mother the importance of this? I have tried everything I can think of and I always get either a somewhat aggressive response or total silence, regardless of if it is in front of the child or not. Help Please

[mizzi39]

This is how our little one responds when asked to pick up his toys.

If you ask me, that's pretty normal.

My kids, and with the help of their cousins can turn a normal room into a disaster zone in the blink of an eye, and when its time to clean up, in another blink of the eye they have all turned into chameleons and blended in with the walls.

Yes, It is very normal. Our son will be 3 next month, and like a good majority of kids his age, he is trying to discover things for himself. I don't know if i agree that mixed kids are more aggressive. I haven't seen the scientific research yet.

Our son is actually very polite, and gentle around other kids his age, more so than his 100% Thai cousins who live next door. he is also very generous when it comes to sharing his toys, and food (snacks)with other kids.

My only issue is that my wife has a hard time setting limits, so she is constantly spoiling him by buying him toys. It is a bone of contention with me and this topic comes up a lot in our house.

We have enough "landfill" in our house in the form of plastic to cover the whole province.

Edited June 10, 2011 by mizzi39

[wolfmanjack]

This is how our little one responds when asked to pick up his toys.

Looks like what my sisters kid did when she tried to use Dr Spocks method. 555555555555555555

[gregb]

I refuse to let her sleep in our bed , she sleeps in her own bed and goes to bed [almost] every night at the same time, also she doesnt get any milk anymore once in bed [she sleeps through the night since 3 months old, generally normal where Im from] this is magic for some of the thai parents....

I'm really jealous. I desperately want our 11 month old twins to sleep through the night. My wife refuses to let them sleep in their own beds. She thinks that they won't be close as a family if this happens. She looks at Western families and the fact that children are less dedicated to their parents and believes that not sleeping in the communal bed is a major source of this problem. Thus, I get kids approaching 1 year who still wake up twice a night for feeding. This despite the fact that we have 2 beds for the kids which are used as general purpose storage bins. I just hope that one day I'll be able to break this conditioning.

Ditto with high chairs. My wife actually got angry with me for wasting the money to buy them, while I responded in kind for her not using them. Why would anyone want to chase their kids around the floor to feed them, when they can lock them down in a chair? The whole concept is just terribly inefficient.

The joys of raising children in a mixed culture.

Maybe that is why the kids are wild. They get completely contradictory messages at home, and wild behavior is how they express their confusion?

[MikeyIdea]

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Maybe that is why the kids are wild. They get completely contradictory messages at home, and wild behavior is how they express their confusion?

Yes, I think so

[Nawtier]

My missus never chased the kids around to feed them, they were told to sit and eat and don't move.

She is excellent with them most of the time and rarely lets them get away with much.......

[Baa_Mango]

I think this isn't so much 100% due to a kid being half this and half that but more so a lot of the other factors discussed like diet, environment, culture in the house, surroundings among other things. Obviously children who are have "foreign" and half Thai would probably be bigger (and bigger faster) than just plain Thai kids needs to be considered as well. I think the real "wildness" comes out around 14, 15, 16, 17.. especially in the girls. Knowing a lot of halfs through studying and living here for a long time (bkk not Isaan..) I've met quite a few ultra-promiscuous drug abusing 'dek inter' who are running around with no limits and a visa card. That being said i also know people who are the same age yet have been raised differently and stay out of this type of business. Back to the young age groups though, I have met some half kids who are 4 or so and are very tuned in, being able to speak Thai and English fluently, as well as realize the advantages this gives them. I've also met kids this age who would be like any other 4 year old in the Thai sense (usually the foreign parent is not involved in the upbringing). Another side note is that many many many families love the ol' "group raising" technique which I think can do a lot of harm or slow down the whole individuality thing as well as confidence and maturity. I have taught some kindergarten part time while I've been studying and its amazing how many students were brought in by their frail old grandparents and the affects I would notice. Old people letting the kids scream and run around, smashing, hitting, ignoring teachers and them as well. with the old people seemingly oblivious to whats going on, as well as the opposite, with the grandma "SUPER babying" the child, holding its hand, hand feeding it everything etc etc.. seemed the most well rounded kids were the ones with younger "modern" parents, night and day better than farm style.

[seriouseats]

My observation is diet having a lot to do with it, my feeling is that the diet is much healthier for western/Thai or other Asian mixes and it provides more health and growth. My children are light years ahead on many fronts especially in growth, my 7 year old is often confused for being at least 10 or older and my 6 year old is as tall as several 10 year olds in our neighborhood and they get a good diet of healthy foods including a mix of meats, fruits and veggies and seldom only as occasional treats some ice cream, sweet milk, chips, fries, soda, etc. and never right before dinner, where as the locals are feeding them these sweets and junk foods almost daily or continually and always as a substitute for or just before their actual meal..

Sleep is another thing that is very important. I consistently see children my children's age or younger still outside hours after sun down and playing around the neighborhood when they should be in settling down and getting washed up for bed or in bed already for a good nights sleep when they have to wake up very early the next day for school or whatever..This isn't necessarily due to the necessity as much as the children running the parents in not wanting to go to bed and the order of the day is non confrontation so let the child run their own life instead of parenting.. This applies to trailing the child around to hand feed them instead of sitting them down and feeding them or them feeding themselves and not using a child seat in the car because the child protests, etc.

One of many such examples even in the local neighborhoods. I've never been on walking street in Pattaya until the other night and I saw this boy about 4 or 5 still awake there around midnight looking exhausted on the side of the road with his mother selling goods..

My neighbors are rice vendors and they load up very early about 5:00am and get back very late sometimes around 11:00 or later and their son, younger then my boys is almost always up to all hours well after our boys are asleep..

Nailed it.

Most kids i see that are like little dolls, never moving or doing anything of their own just never had any correct stimulus. I guess for a girl it can be fine because that's more along their genetic disposition but for a boy its complete insanity. I wouldnt expect a boy eating rice and pork everyday with 2 slice of cucumber and a bunch of chips/snacks, while watching those horrible flashing fighting cartoons(meaning their only toys are figurines from that and firearms) to have any need to be moving around.

Mixed kids usually have parents setting them up with good children movies, interactive books, interactive toys and also toys that can be easily usable to make stories (Cars, trains, planes, animals, different kind of humans). The food they eat gives them more brain energy while rice is only a quick stimulant that burns out fast. I know when my kid eats more rice/pork/cucumber than anything else(the days we dont cook or go to a western restaurant) he's usually a little more boring/irritable/unwilling to do anything that requires moving.

Dont forget also that thais usually have children to show off and get attention, they use them as dollies and when they are doing their own thing they just want to be left alone, so the kid is taught to be quiet at a very early age. I have rarely seen a parent talking or playing with their children in phuket outsidfe of a 5seconde burst. I have yet to see 1 parent moving their fat ass from the lawn when the kids are at the park as well as soon as they are hold enough to walk by themselves. when they are not, they usually bring them on the slides, take the whole space to scare their kids into doing something they dont want to just to seem like they have a busy life in front of other parents while feeding them with 7/11 sausage when they could be home teaching the kid something and cooking it a meal.

In my child's class, all the thai kids from wealthy families are unimaginative dead dolls, the kids with farang fathers that are absent or drunks are the same and 4 of them have active good thai and farang parents and always play with each other and just treat the other kids as toys("pushing" them around, taking their stuff without asking) while together they are really gentle and respectful.

There are many exceptions i am sure, but this applies to a very very large majority.

I gotta say on a last note, it enrages me how many infants and toddlers are awake at 8pm+ at restaurants/shopping mall/food stalls. This is one of the biggest reason why thai childs are way less developed.

Edited June 13, 2011 by seriouseats

[Caliguy]

Have to remember we are open with our opinions and emotions as well and they see that and copy it which is a good thing. I cant imagine my son being some robot void of emotions, specifically empathy.