Drinking And Lifestyle

[RickThai]

I know many, male ex-patriots initially move to Thailand due to the availability of beautiful, young women, (whom my wife delicately calls, "girls who like everybody"). Along with that lifestyle, comes spending a lot of time in bars. I'm sure that over time, that can become pretty much a pattern; of visiting bars and drinking; several nights a week.

So I wonder, Is it possible to continue with that kind of lifestyle and stay sober? If not, what would be an alternative lifestyle for an older, single man, living in LOS?

Maybe that could be the key to helping some people stop drinking. Just a thought.

Best wishes,

Rick

[kerryk]

Girls who like everybody!!! That is so cute. How would you say that in Thai, Puying chop tuk khun?

As I walk past a bar the ladies don't shout, “handsome man.” They shout, “Where you go soda.” Because I always order a club soda. 95% of the girls appreciate the fact that I don't drink and make a point of telling me so. Some ask why and I tell them, “if I drink I don't get hard as a rock.” Most like that too.

I do feel kind of stupid when someone rings the bell and I get a free club soda. Then I feel obligated to buy him a drink at regular price. Soda is usually 40 baht. When I go into a go go with my GF I always buy her a regular drink and myself a soda.

In my experience not drinking is a big plus with most Thai women. They automatically think I am trustworthy and a gentleman. I add some stories about frequent trips to the Wat when I am feeling creative.

The advantages of cohabiting with girls who like everybody and not drinking are too numerous to mention from a quality, quantity and expense point of view and I rarely have a surprise in the morning.

There is the matter of drunk women who like everybody and I have mixed emotions about that from a moral point of view. It is rather like shooting fish in a barrel which I have never done of course.

[RickThai]

kerryk;

Thank you, you answered my question perfectly. I'm glad you modified your lifestyle and now have a happier, healthier you. As we all know, drink can bring out the worst in all of us. You seem to be reaping the advantages of staying sober.

Rick

[rvdk]

Yes you a real gentleman, bring your girlfriend to those kind of bars. Those girls do not think you are a gentleman, you are the same as the other gentlemen (pervs) in the bar only the difference is you drink a soda and the rest a beer, they do not care whatever you drink, it is all about the money.

[ThaiPauly]

Yes you a real gentleman, bring your girlfriend to those kind of bars. Those girls do not think you are a gentleman, you are the same as the other gentlemen (pervs) in the bar only the difference is you drink a soda and the rest a beer, they do not care whatever you drink, it is all about the money.

You have obviously had some bad experience in Thailand.

I hope you find contentment with yourself soon

[kerryk]

Yes you a real gentleman, bring your girlfriend to those kind of bars. Those girls do not think you are a gentleman, you are the same as the other gentlemen (pervs) in the bar only the difference is you drink a soda and the rest a beer, they do not care whatever you drink, it is all about the money.

Who said anything about bringing your girlfriend to those kind of bars? I didn't.

Also I would propose that 80% of the girls that work in those kinds of bars are after a husband. Maybe it is 70% and maybe 90% but the fact remains that it is a high percent. Some of the women are looking for cash income but the majority are taking a longer view and not drinking plays into that view.

As far as what the ladies working in those establishments are looking for speaking some Thai language ability will assist with understanding that.

Some of the ladies are looking for a party and some for a husband and father for their children and support for their family.

[Patsycat]

A friend of mine - who has been in rehab and sober for 10 months - recently went on holiday to Thailand. Yes, he is a bit of a sex-pat but he works hard for his money and is a grown up and can spend it as he wishes.

He told me that he had the best holiday in all the years he has been going to Thailand.

[rvdk]

You wrote this KerryK. <EM>When I go into a go go with my GF I always buy her a regular drink and myself a soda. </EM>so I do not understand this <EM>Who said anything about bringing your girlfriend to those kind of bars? I didn't.</EM> <BR><BR>I am living here ten years, I can speak and read Thai. You are saying that women who work in a gogo are looking for a husband, how long are you here for? And no ThaiPauly I had no bad experiences here in Thailand but I am not interested to have a bargirl as a girlfriend or wife. Think you two know the stories. And KerryK. I hope for you you find a nice lady in those establiments. I think most of the women who work in a gogo are looking for a husband but if yoiu take them out of the bar it will cost you a lot of money because those women are making quite a lot and of course the family back in Isan wants some.

[kerryk]

You wrote this KerryK. <EM>When I go into a go go with my GF I always buy her a regular drink and myself a soda. </EM>so I do not understand this <EM>Who said anything about bringing your girlfriend to those kind of bars? I didn't.</EM> <BR><BR>I am living here ten years, I can speak and read Thai. You are saying that women who work in a gogo are looking for a husband, how long are you here for? And no ThaiPauly I had no bad experiences here in Thailand but I am not interested to have a bargirl as a girlfriend or wife. Think you two know the stories. And KerryK. I hope for you you find a nice lady in those establiments. I think most of the women who work in a gogo are looking for a husband but if yoiu take them out of the bar it will cost you a lot of money because those women are making quite a lot and of course the family back in Isan wants some.

Sorry about that. I missed my own reference. Yes I did say that. My GF likes go go bars because she likes girls as well as boys. How long have I lived here? It has been 6 years since I have left Thailand.

First time I was here? 1970 or thereabouts.

Do I think go go girls are looking for husbands? Yes. I know a number of men who have married them. Odds of long term success? If you are sober when you meet and sober when courting a lot better odds than if you are drunk.

I think that is the bottom line. Sure finding a wife in a go go has drawbacks as well as pluses. At least you know your wife is good dancer.

Odds of any marriage working only 50% and odds of inter cultural marriage even less. Odds of a marriage working if you are a drunk are very small.

Even if you have everything going for you as far as a hi so good girl if you are a drunk it becomes almost impossible.

But I don't think the topic of the thread was “Is it a good idea to find a wife in a go go bar.” I think the topic of the thread is “Is it possible to continue a punter/bar girl lifestyle without drinking.” And I think the answer to that question is yes and it is a lot better than a drunk punter/bargirl lifestyle. It is safer and and in general more fun. Perhaps you might like to start another thread on why it is better to marry a non bar girl in Thailand. That would be unique on TV.

[GrahamF]

A friend of mine - who has been in rehab and sober for 10 months - recently went on holiday to Thailand. Yes, he is a bit of a sex-pat but he works hard for his money and is a grown up and can spend it as he wishes.

He told me that he had the best holiday in all the years he has been going to Thailand.

Good for him!!! Glad to hear he had a good time while staying sober...It can be done.

Maybe we could start having AA meetings in the gogo bars?

[GrahamF]

You wrote this KerryK. <EM>When I go into a go go with my GF I always buy her a regular drink and myself a soda. </EM>so I do not understand this <EM>Who said anything about bringing your girlfriend to those kind of bars? I didn't.</EM> <BR><BR>I am living here ten years, I can speak and read Thai. You are saying that women who work in a gogo are looking for a husband, how long are you here for? And no ThaiPauly I had no bad experiences here in Thailand but I am not interested to have a bargirl as a girlfriend or wife. Think you two know the stories. And KerryK. I hope for you you find a nice lady in those establiments. I think most of the women who work in a gogo are looking for a husband but if yoiu take them out of the bar it will cost you a lot of money because those women are making quite a lot and of course the family back in Isan wants some.

Are you restless, irritable and discontent? Keep coming back!

[Geekfreaklover]

As all of these places serve alcohol it may be wise to not frequent them too often in early recovery - 'If you hang around in barbershops you'll probably end up getting a hair-cut.'

That said Bangkok nightlife can be much more rewarding sober.

[StreetCowboy]

A friend of mine - who has been in rehab and sober for 10 months - recently went on holiday to Thailand. Yes, he is a bit of a sex-pat but he works hard for his money and is a grown up and can spend it as he wishes.

He told me that he had the best holiday in all the years he has been going to Thailand.

Good for him!!! Glad to hear he had a good time while staying sober...It can be done.

Maybe we could start having AA meetings in the gogo bars?

My favourite barmaid always says she is delighted to see me not drinking

The worst thing is that I don't know why... I can only guess

SC

[StreetCowboy]

You wrote this KerryK. <EM>When I go into a go go with my GF I always buy her a regular drink and myself a soda. </EM>so I do not understand this <EM>Who said anything about bringing your girlfriend to those kind of bars? I didn't.</EM> <BR><BR>I am living here ten years, I can speak and read Thai. You are saying that women who work in a gogo are looking for a husband, how long are you here for? And no ThaiPauly I had no bad experiences here in Thailand but I am not interested to have a bargirl as a girlfriend or wife. Think you two know the stories. And KerryK. I hope for you you find a nice lady in those establiments. I think most of the women who work in a gogo are looking for a husband but if yoiu take them out of the bar it will cost you a lot of money because those women are making quite a lot and of course the family back in Isan wants some.

Sorry about that. I missed my own reference. Yes I did say that. My GF likes go go bars because she likes girls as well as boys. How long have I lived here? It has been 6 years since I have left Thailand.

First time I was here? 1970 or thereabouts.

Do I think go go girls are looking for husbands? Yes. I know a number of men who have married them. Odds of long term success? If you are sober when you meet and sober when courting a lot better odds than if you are drunk.

I think that is the bottom line. Sure finding a wife in a go go has drawbacks as well as pluses. At least you know your wife is good dancer.

Odds of any marriage working only 50% and odds of inter cultural marriage even less. Odds of a marriage working if you are a drunk are very small.

Even if you have everything going for you as far as a hi so good girl if you are a drunk it becomes almost impossible.

But I don't think the topic of the thread was "Is it a good idea to find a wife in a go go bar." I think the topic of the thread is "Is it possible to continue a punter/bar girl lifestyle without drinking." And I think the answer to that question is yes and it is a lot better than a drunk punter/bargirl lifestyle. It is safer and and in general more fun. Perhaps you might like to start another thread on why it is better to marry a non bar girl in Thailand. That would be unique on TV.

You are joking, right?

"At least you know your wife is a good dancer"; we must go to different go go bars...

SC

[kerryk]

As all of these places serve alcohol it may be wise to not frequent them too often in early recovery - 'If you hang around in barbershops you'll probably end up getting a hair-cut.'

That said Bangkok nightlife can be much more rewarding sober.

It has been a long time and I don't really remember all of the details but it was about 5 years of me being sober before I felt strong enough to go into a bar. I only went so my wife could practice dancing.

I remember trying a non alcoholic beer. That was a dumb idea on my part because it was only a week till I was drinking 10 NA beers a night. That said Thai bars are a bit different as there are numerous bars where men do not go primarily to drink.

Perhaps I was sicker than most because I also had to avoid the beer isle in grocery stores for years and I threw out all the booze in my house including some expensive stuff. I still don't keep any beer in the house but there is a pint of Sang Som for visiting Thai people.

If I was advising someone, I would have to say stay out of bars until you are really grounded in the not drinking thing. I would think a couple of years at the minimum. It would be interesting to hear others opinions.

[smokie36]

Isn't it a bit perverse to be visiting a gogo sober? I'd feel like Jeremy Paxman appearing on Crackerjack.

[StreetCowboy]

Isn't it a bit perverse to be visiting a gogo sober? I'd feel like Jeremy Paxman appearing on Crackerjack.

After the rugby a few weeks back, I went down Soi Cowboy after the AA meeting, and then went home sober and empty-handed.

However, I would not recommend it, and I am not sure if that trip contributed to me getting hammered with some old friends en route from the bus terminus to home on the Sunday night; and that was the start of a week on the drink...

What I would say to anyone worried about their drinking - sobriety is not the end of the world, and you can still do stupid things when you're sober, if you really want to...

SC

[kerryk]

Isn't it a bit perverse to be visiting a gogo sober? I'd feel like Jeremy Paxman appearing on Crackerjack.

Not really. In the state of Florida home to strip clubs that make anything that happens in Pattaya seem mild, it is illegal to serve alcohol where there is nudity.

[smokie36]

Isn't it a bit perverse to be visiting a gogo sober? I'd feel like Jeremy Paxman appearing on Crackerjack.

After the rugby a few weeks back, I went down Soi Cowboy after the AA meeting, and then went home sober and empty-handed.

However, I would not recommend it, and I am not sure if that trip contributed to me getting hammered with some old friends en route from the bus terminus to home on the Sunday night; and that was the start of a week on the drink...

What I would say to anyone worried about their drinking - sobriety is not the end of the world, and you can still do stupid things when you're sober, if you really want to...

SC

Maybe it would be easier if I did a solo world sail in a dinghy.....a steady supply of bar girls as an alternative therapy is intriguing enough but I suspect it would drive me to drink eventually...or sooner.

[smokie36]

Isn't it a bit perverse to be visiting a gogo sober? I'd feel like Jeremy Paxman appearing on Crackerjack.

Not really. In the state of Florida home to strip clubs that make anything that happens in Pattaya seem mild, it is illegal to serve alcohol where there is nudity.

Do the majority of customers enter sober?

[StreetCowboy]

Isn't it a bit perverse to be visiting a gogo sober? I'd feel like Jeremy Paxman appearing on Crackerjack.

Not really. In the state of Florida home to strip clubs that make anything that happens in Pattaya seem mild, it is illegal to serve alcohol where there is nudity.

Do the majority of customers enter sober?

You can't say that on TV!

Its not a front for prostitution, prostitution is illegal here!

Or did you mean "go into the strip club"?

SC

Edited June 26, 2011 by StreetCowboy

[smokie36]

Isn't it a bit perverse to be visiting a gogo sober? I'd feel like Jeremy Paxman appearing on Crackerjack.

Not really. In the state of Florida home to strip clubs that make anything that happens in Pattaya seem mild, it is illegal to serve alcohol where there is nudity.

Do the majority of customers enter sober?

You can't say that on TV!

Its not a front for prostitution, prostitution is illegal here!

Or did you mean "go into the strip club"?

SC

My my I had similar problems with a bouncer on my first visit to Soho....I hadn't the entry fee on that occasion either .

[GrahamF]

As all of these places serve alcohol it may be wise to not frequent them too often in early recovery - 'If you hang around in barbershops you'll probably end up getting a hair-cut.'

That said Bangkok nightlife can be much more rewarding sober.

It has been a long time and I don't really remember all of the details but it was about 5 years of me being sober before I felt strong enough to go into a bar. I only went so my wife could practice dancing.

I remember trying a non alcoholic beer. That was a dumb idea on my part because it was only a week till I was drinking 10 NA beers a night. That said Thai bars are a bit different as there are numerous bars where men do not go primarily to drink.

Perhaps I was sicker than most because I also had to avoid the beer isle in grocery stores for years and I threw out all the booze in my house including some expensive stuff. I still don't keep any beer in the house but there is a pint of Sang Som for visiting Thai people.

If I was advising someone, I would have to say stay out of bars until you are really grounded in the not drinking thing. I would think a couple of years at the minimum. It would be interesting to hear others opinions.

I avoided bars, etc, until I completed the 12 steps. My sponsor advised me to do this, as well as others, and I heartily agreed. Now I go to bars with friends and I feel fine and don't have the urge to drink. I do avoid situations where the prime focus is drinking and/or drugs, primarily because I really have no reason to be there and frankly I find it a little boring and a bummer to be around a bunch of drunks. I got sober to get my life back, not to closet myself away, if I'm going to hide away from everyday life I might as well go back to drinking and finish myself off quickly. I will admit that sometimes it is a little strange going into places where I used to drink and it can sometimes bring back some funny and/or embarrassing memories, but that's just part of life. Don't get me wrong, I work hard everyday to maintain my spiritual condition and if I'm feeling out of sorts I may choose not to go out. Last week, I had a crazy day and really got thrown out of my regular routine, so instead of going out with some friends I went to an AA meeting. The good thing is that I can recognize when I'm not feeling on the beam.

[ThaiPauly]

As all of these places serve alcohol it may be wise to not frequent them too often in early recovery - 'If you hang around in barbershops you'll probably end up getting a hair-cut.'

That said Bangkok nightlife can be much more rewarding sober.

It has been a long time and I don't really remember all of the details but it was about 5 years of me being sober before I felt strong enough to go into a bar. I only went so my wife could practice dancing.

I remember trying a non alcoholic beer. That was a dumb idea on my part because it was only a week till I was drinking 10 NA beers a night. That said Thai bars are a bit different as there are numerous bars where men do not go primarily to drink.

Perhaps I was sicker than most because I also had to avoid the beer isle in grocery stores for years and I threw out all the booze in my house including some expensive stuff. I still don't keep any beer in the house but there is a pint of Sang Som for visiting Thai people.

If I was advising someone, I would have to say stay out of bars until you are really grounded in the not drinking thing. I would think a couple of years at the minimum. It would be interesting to hear others opinions.

I avoided bars, etc, until I completed the 12 steps. My sponsor advised me to do this, as well as others, and I heartily agreed. Now I go to bars with friends and I feel fine and don't have the urge to drink. I do avoid situations where the prime focus is drinking and/or drugs, primarily because I really have no reason to be there and frankly I find it a little boring and a bummer to be around a bunch of drunks. I got sober to get my life back, not to closet myself away, if I'm going to hide away from everyday life I might as well go back to drinking and finish myself off quickly. I will admit that sometimes it is a little strange going into places where I used to drink and it can sometimes bring back some funny and/or embarrassing memories, but that's just part of life. Don't get me wrong, I work hard everyday to maintain my spiritual condition and if I'm feeling out of sorts I may choose not to go out. Last week, I had a crazy day and really got thrown out of my regular routine, so instead of going out with some friends I went to an AA meeting. The good thing is that I can recognize when I'm not feeling on the beam.

Good post, and good for you

[RickThai]

Other than the digression about GF going to a go-go bar, there seems to some good information being shared. Not going into the bars until you are sure you can stay sober, is really a good idea. Also that fact that the 'bar scene" might be even better when you are sober (less likely to do something that gets you in trouble or worse) is another aspect to consider.

RickThai

[ThaiPauly]

I would like to add something I feel is important here.

If you are newly sober and go out on the town for any reason always give yourself an escape route in case you start to feel uncomfortable, ie have transport. That way if the pressure gets to you ...you can run. Never worry about what others may think, its YOUR sobriety and maybe your LIFE thats in danger.

[StreetCowboy]

I would like to add something I feel is important here.

If you are newly sober and go out on the town for any reason always give yourself an escape route in case you start to feel uncomfortable, ie have transport. That way if the pressure gets to you ...you can run. Never worry about what others may think, its YOUR sobriety and maybe your LIFE thats in danger.

There's nothing worse than sitting with an empty coke glass waiting for others to finish their beers; except maybe the Spanish Inquisition, but...

I used to try to pop out to an AA meeting in the middle of the evening - so that I noticed the sudden change from Before to After in my friends. And to avoid the temptation to try and catch up.

SC

[smokie36]

I would like to add something I feel is important here.

If you are newly sober and go out on the town for any reason always give yourself an escape route in case you start to feel uncomfortable, ie have transport. That way if the pressure gets to you ...you can run. Never worry about what others may think, its YOUR sobriety and maybe your LIFE thats in danger.

There's nothing worse than sitting with an empty coke glass waiting for others to finish their beers; except maybe the Spanish Inquisition, but...

I used to try to pop out to an AA meeting in the middle of the evening - so that I noticed the sudden change from Before to After in my friends. And to avoid the temptation to try and catch up.

SC

Some good advice there ta.

[StreetCowboy]

I would like to add something I feel is important here.

If you are newly sober and go out on the town for any reason always give yourself an escape route in case you start to feel uncomfortable, ie have transport. That way if the pressure gets to you ...you can run. Never worry about what others may think, its YOUR sobriety and maybe your LIFE thats in danger.

There's nothing worse than sitting with an empty coke glass waiting for others to finish their beers; except maybe the Spanish Inquisition, but...

I used to try to pop out to an AA meeting in the middle of the evening - so that I noticed the sudden change from Before to After in my friends. And to avoid the temptation to try and catch up.

SC

Some good advice there ta.

Its easier to give advice than follow it...

SC

[Cyliam]

Girls who like everybody!!! That is so cute. How would you say that in Thai, Puying chop tuk khun?

สาวที่ชอบทุกคน = Sauw ti chop tuk khon :jap: