Up To You

[theblether]

The title says it all, when your Thai girl says " Up To You" does she mean it? Or is it one of those cunning female traps?

[ThaiPauly]

Not really Chiang Mai related, these kinds of thrads really belong in general topics.

[Semper]

Yes she does. Because she have another sponsor waiting.

[Warhammer820]

my gf meant it until she felt confident enough to tell me what she wanted to do. Now i am the one who says, "Up to you"

[Warhammer820]

so....it's a dam_n trick

[venturalaw]

It is one of the multiple means by which Thais avoid responsibility. Plus it has the ansilary benefit of making Thai women appear submissive when in fact they are actually being manipulative.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

My wife doesn't really say that, ever.

I really wish she would, though.

I do say it myself sometimes when there is topic I don't really care about, not even enough to weigh in one way or the other. So then the 'up to you' means "Do whatever the fuc_k you want, but I don't give a shit either way!"

I assume many Thai people use it in the same way.

[IanForbes]

I think it's a bit of both of what Venturalaw and WinnietheKwai said. I say the same thing myself when I don't really care about either choice one way or another. I usually want the other person to have a good time and I realize that if they are not having a good time then neither will I. If you have been with someone long enough then eventually you SHOULD know what the other person would choose. However, if I REALLY don't want to do something then I will say so. And, if there is something that I really WANT to do then I make plans to do it on my own and the other person can come along if they want.

[venturalaw]

I think it's a bit of both of what Venturalaw and WinnietheKwai said. I say the same thing myself when I don't really care about either choice one way or another. I usually want the other person to have a good time and I realize that if they are not having a good time then neither will I. If you have been with someone long enough then eventually you SHOULD know what the other person would choose. However, if I REALLY don't want to do something then I will say so. And, if there is something that I really WANT to do then I make plans to do it on my own and the other person can come along if they want.

My response was to the what the OP queried - "When your Thai girl says . . . ".

I have said 'up to you' when the subject issue is really of little or no importance to me, or when I wish for the person to whom I am deferring to actually make the choice.

[Patron]

The last time I heard 'Up to you' was the day before I got married.

[noise]

It is one of the multiple means by which Thais avoid responsibility. Plus it has the ansilary benefit of making Thai women appear submissive when in fact they are actually being manipulative.

There is also the theory that women from around the world use that phrase with several meanings/intents.

1. They really do not care

2. They care, but not very strongly, and do not want to say so because they think you might have a preference

3. They care and they want to see if you can figure it out (usually preceded by some kind of disagreement?)

4. They really would prefer not to go/do whatever it is.

I personally use 1, 2, & 4 with my wife. For example, at a Thai restaurant eating family style, I know I will enjoy what she orders even though I would order something else. So #2 is my standard answer.

[Forethat]

It is one of the multiple means by which Thais avoid responsibility. Plus it has the ansilary benefit of making Thai women appear submissive when in fact they are actually being manipulative.

Note to self: Dont scroll past venturalaw:s posts when quickly browsing through the posts on TV.

[venturalaw]

It is one of the multiple means by which Thais avoid responsibility. Plus it has the ansilary benefit of making Thai women appear submissive when in fact they are actually being manipulative.

Note to self: Dont scroll past venturalaw:s posts when quickly browsing through the posts on TV.

:jap:

[Tonto21]

My wife doesn't really say that, ever.

I really wish she would, though.

I do say it myself sometimes when there is topic I don't really care about, not even enough to weigh in one way or the other. So then the 'up to you' means "Do whatever the fuc_k you want, but I don't give a shit either way!"

I assume many Thai people use it in the same way.

'ventralaw's'and 'Winnie's' posts pretty much cover it for my way of seeing it.

The funniest example I read of "up to you" or; "do what the <deleted>#k you want" was in an 'Autobike trader' magazine.

The add went something like this;

GSX-R 1100,6 months old, 2k on clock….Mint condition, many extras. Must sell, apparently,the wife saying "do what the <deleted>#k you want" when I bought the bike, does not mean what most men think.

[anotheruser]

It can also mean they real have no idea what to do. "Honey what would you like to do? Up to you." So you ask would you like to go to the movies or the bowling alley? and the answer is "yes"

[Mirth]

It means she don't care but when she's in a foul mood, she will use all those occasion as examples of sacrifices she has done for you.

Btw, it's everywhere, not only in Thailand.

The title says it all, when your Thai girl says " Up To You" does she mean it? Or is it one of those cunning female traps?

[mickmac]

I always felt that "Up to You" was only the start of the sentence, the remainder is " but you better make the right decision!!"

[Nawtier]

Believe it with the wrath that is intended to follow.

[Forethat]

I always felt that "Up to You" was only the start of the sentence, the remainder is " but you better make the right decision!!"

Correct. Think of it as when the missus of GF asks you whether her dress makes her look fat...

[GreenSnapper]

It means she don't care but when she's in a foul mood, she will use all those occasion as examples of sacrifices she has done for you.

Btw, it's everywhere, not only in Thailand.

Yep, worldwide standard female behavior pattern. They just try to avoid to take any responsibility for what they do or decide.

[sbk]

Oh puleeze. The only person who got it even remotely correct is noise. And yup, all of us women are exactly the same. All 3.5 billion or so, precisely the same.

Give it a rest guys. The bashing is getting beyond ridiculous. If you can't manage to figure your wives and girlfriends out without being nasty and derogatory then perhaps its time you looked at yourselves and figured out why your relationships end up the way they do.

And I think that we've had enough of the Thai women bashing for today.

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