Not sure if this Thread as been done..Or maybe not allowed as its not Thai related ..

im just me.and thats all I can be

no more . no less . no 2nd guess

i laugh.i love.i live.i cry and

some times i wish i would die

some day im funny other days im not

some times im in overdrive .and cant stop

you may not like me but that's ok this is me

and this is how ill stay. !!!

Feel free to post your poems.!!

here here!!

Jack and jill went up the hill each with $1.25

Jill came down with $2.50

*Ahem* (Brace yourselves: Explicit content)

And Yes. I did make all of these myself.

"Jack and Jill went up the hill,

To fetch a pail of water.

Jack missed a step, broke his neck,

And Jill burst out in laughter."

----------

"Doctor Foster went to Gloucester,

In the middle of the night.

He tripped face first into some shit,

For skies at night are not well lit.

He'd only return when skies are sunny,

For shit on one's face is not very funny."

----------

Old Mac Donald had a farm,

With lot's creatures in his barn.

For some reason I don't know,

He sang "E-I-E-I-O".

Made animal noises here and there,

All day long and everywhere.

If you ask me what I think,

I'd reply "He needs a shrink.".

----------

"Lucy Locket lost her pocket.

Kitty Fisher she did find it.

When she looked inside that purse,

She found a dick as large as hers."

----------

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,

Had so many children, knew not what to do.

So she sold them to China, far away,

Where they now make shoes for little pay.

----------

The Queen of Hearts, she always farts.

She stank like shit, so you could tell.

The King of Hearts, he loved those farts.

He loved their sound, he loved their smell.

The Ace of Hearts, he felt those farts.

He'd see the fog, it stung his lung.

The Knave of Hearts, he feared those farts.

He'd taste her waste upon his tongue.

Continued...

Solomon Grundy,

Alcohol Monday,

Nicotine Tuesday,

THC Wednesday,

PCP Thursday,

Heroin Friday,

Too much on Saturday,

Buried on Sunday.

That was the end

Of Solomon Grundy.

----------

Peter, Peter pumpkin eater,

Had a wife and daily beat her.

He locked her in a filthy cell,

And did not treat her very well.

Peter, Peter pumpkin eater,

Had a daughter and did hate her.

So Peter bought a baseball bat,

And smashed her brains in with a *SPLAT!*

----------

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,

How does your garden grow?

With cannabis, poppy seeds,

And magic mushrooms in a row.

----------

Little Miss Muffet

Sat on a tuffet,

Eating her turds and whey.

Spider on neck,

Venom inject,

Next, she passed away.

That wasn’t the end!

There came a friend,

Her corpse he wanted to screw.

Spider on neck,

Venom inject,

Now the grave had two.

----------

I had a little nutcase,

Who didn't have a care.

He shat and pissed outside,

And clothes he would not wear.

So I called some doctors,

To come and visit me.

They couldn't help but laugh,

When they saw him pee.

----------

Hickory, dickory, dock.

She cleaned my dirty cock.

The clock struck one,

I should have gone.

Her husband came,

(With a dame).

Hickory, dickory, dock.

Everybody got a shock!

----------

Well, what do you think? Am I the world's next comedian?

PS: I came up with most of these rhymes while sitting on the toilet.

Jack and jill went up the hill each with $1.25

Jill came down with $2.50

How's this. There was a young lady from "Orry''

Who went for a walk in a Quarry.

She fell on her back and opened her crack

and a fellow backed in with his lorry.

When i am feeling peomy

people groany

I become a gnomey

In the garden of your

semi detached house .

Hickory dickory dock, the gal was sucking my co@@

The clock struck two, I shot my goo, and dropped her off around the block.

Hickory dickory dock, the gal was sucking my co@@

The clock struck two, I shot my goo, and dropped her off around the block.

The first is a sestet, the second an octave. It's an imperfect rhyme if presented in that form.

Learn to rhyme.

Thanks stan, I'll remember to tell andrew dice clay the next time he is doing stand up in bkk.

IMHO, Andrew Dice Clay was not very funny. Sam Kinison was much better.

Sam was good, just don't remember any poems of his.

Sam was good, just don't remember any poems of his.

• Sam I am
  I am Sam
  I am Sam
  Sam I am.

• I would not like them here or there.
  I would not like them anywhere.
  I do not like green eggs and ham.
  I do not like them Sam I Am.

• Say!
  I like green eggs and ham!
  I do! I like them, Sam-I-am!

What are green eggs?

Edited July 29, 201115 yr by smokie36

Thanks stan, I'll remember to tell andrew dice clay the next time he is doing stand up in bkk.

Stand up comedy in Bangkok... Be prepared to get arrested.

Yes, Welsh1, this has been done before, specifically at page 17 of the Isaan Forum under the title "Poets Corner". Some fine stuff there - deeply affecting and, somehow, slightly disturbing. Do go there. Pay particular attention to posts #5 and #7, which are outstanding examples of how the craft of peotry, (sorry, poetry), has evolved.

It is my understanding that both these inspiring peots can be hired, by the bottle, to write something truly wonderful for your special occasion.