Laws Of Ultimate Reality

[Robby nz]

1 Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2 Law of Gravity- Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3 Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4 Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5 Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6 Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7 Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8 Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9 Law of the Result- When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10 Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11 Law of the Theater - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12 The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13 Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14 Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam or honey sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

15 Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16 Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17 Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18 Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19 Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

Why do numbers 15 and 17 remind me of statements coming out of the USA at present?

[wpcoe]

13 Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

#13 could be renamed "Thai Social Law," and applies to restaurants as well.

In a large restaurant, if there are only two customers/groups, Thais will undoubtedly put them at adjacent tables. I once asked a waitress why she did that (to me) and she thought she was doing me a favor by placing me in a potentially social situation. (!) Yes, it is intentional when they do that!

Another true story (and true to Murphy's Law of Lockers) at my gym just last week, I arrived as the only customer and was assigned a locker. While I was changing, the next fellow came in and was given the locker next to mine -- in a corner! Until I moved down to the next bench to change clothes, he had NO way to access his locker and get changed.