Estrella Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 My close friend ( young thai girl)has been dating her expat boyfriend for over 2 years. Now its a time for him to go back to Europe. He did not promise her anything about the relationship. They are very nice couple. The guy is very good looking, smart and gentlemen and my friend is very beautiful, very well educated ( MBA) and lovely person. Uncertain future make my friend unhappy. A lot of people said that love will lead it through but ... I dont know. Do you guys have any ideas what to expect in this kind of situation? I just wanna have something to comfort her besides saying " tum jai". Any comments are appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ka1234 Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 Let's see if I got this straight... He is going back to his home country and she is staying it TH. He did not offer her to come with him back to Europe. And she is trying to figure out what will happen to their relationship??? Why did he not ask her to come with him if they have a relationship? Sounds to me like he's not too serious about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moving Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 Estrella, Two years is a reasonably long relationship...but leaving with no plans (promises) for their future is not a good thing...However, unless there are other parts to the story, and there usually are, I would venture that the boyfriend will attempt to maintain the relationship. The three most common reasons he wouldn't are: 1) He left because he wanted to end the relationship, or 2) He was going back to another relationship, or 3) His time in Thailand has ended and he has decided not to take your girl friend with him. I don't know if this helps but I took my best shot...maybe others more wiser than I can offer more and or better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estrella Posted January 6, 2004 Author Share Posted January 6, 2004 Well, in my humble opinion is case number 3. that his time in Thailand is run out and no more thai gf. Ovboiusly they had a good time together but that was it ! I guess. Guys can be very rational sometimes. Poor my little friend, she is totally in love with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoCal Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 To leave after a two year relationship, with no mention of the future, is definitely a bad sign. I would imagine a lot of guys have left from holiday saying more, albeit usually empty words. On a positive note: As he hasn't left, maybe he just hasn't got around to it yet. Maybe he is as upset that your friend has not mentioned anything. Seems awful insecure though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 After a two year relationship, she surely can say something like ' Hey I want to go with you '... it seems strange that nothing has been mentioned by either of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estrella Posted January 6, 2004 Author Share Posted January 6, 2004 She wants to move with him to Europe ka. His parants love her and welcome her to the family but seem like the guy did not want to make any further commitment. He is 30 years old and my friend is 25. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
32x Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 Does seem strange after 2 years he has not made his plans clear?. Could be a case he doesnt want to make any promises to her he may regret once he goes back to Europe?. Believe me after a few hours back home,he should be on the phone straight away telling her how much he misses her . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alleypanda Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 When I dated my husband(an expat) I knew that sooner or later we would have to face the relocation problem so I just simple told him that if he only take this relationship as a casual dating I will considering that is wasting my time .Thanks you but No, thank you. I think your friend should ask him that,too. I would recommend anyone who are in this kind of relationship too, check the water before you jump in. Not hurt to ask,see where he puts you serious or casual so you can treat him the same with out any hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted January 7, 2004 Share Posted January 7, 2004 When I dated my husband(an expat) I knew that sooner or later we would have to face the relocation problem so I just simple told him that if he only take this relationship as a casual dating I will considering that is wasting my time .Thanks you but No, thank you.I think your friend should ask him that,too. I would recommend anyone who are in this kind of relationship too, check the water before you jump in. Not hurt to ask,see where he puts you serious or casual so you can treat him the same with out any hurt. Excellent advice Alley. I hope she properly discusses it with him . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Head Snake Posted January 7, 2004 Share Posted January 7, 2004 30 years old should be old enough to know that 2 years is a long time and ANY future plans should have already been discussed. SHe needs to broach the subject now. If he doesn't want to commit, why should she? SOunds like she can find somebody whoever she likes. I'm betting the 30 year old is going to kick himself if he loses her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted January 7, 2004 Share Posted January 7, 2004 But too late Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maerim Posted January 7, 2004 Share Posted January 7, 2004 Brings tears to a glass eye. This devastating news will keep me awake tonight for all of two minutes. Has the Bangkok Post been informed of this news? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candyflip Posted January 7, 2004 Share Posted January 7, 2004 alleypanda,Very good call indeed! but when people are in love, they can not resist, I am afriad so.. If I am in love with someone, I will do my best to make the most of it, no matter what/when/where and how. Just my 5 cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NedKelly Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 Sounds to me like the guy has not said anything because he knows that what he has to say is going to hurt. Even if you ask him several times while you hold his nuts in a vice he wont be able to say anything. I asked my good friend dear Abbey about this and she said 'darling you must open the communication with your man as soon as possible' ! God I lead a full life ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 Ned....you'll roll over ....or go home single. Then sharing ceases to be an issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frodo Posted January 9, 2004 Share Posted January 9, 2004 I would recommend anyone who are in this kind of relationship too, check the water before you jump in. Not hurt to ask,see where he puts you serious or casual so you can treat him the same with out any hurt. Very good advice, and may I also add to this. Foreigners forget that many natives here are given a lifestyle that is different from their own. To suddenly take all that away can be rather bad for many people. Imagine if it were you. Maybe from a poor family, suddenly you're living in "luxury" only for that to be taken away. People can adapt again, but it's painful and difficult. IMHO, foreigners should be aware what they are creating in the long run and how it will effect the other person. This is not the west anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozziman04 Posted January 10, 2004 Share Posted January 10, 2004 I take it that he is still here in Thailand Guess its time to bring it all to a head, get her to tell him "we go now get me passport" His response to this will answer all the unknown questions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chingy Posted January 10, 2004 Share Posted January 10, 2004 the guy is a looser, better off with out him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chonabot Posted January 12, 2004 Share Posted January 12, 2004 the guy is a looser, better off with out him As opposed to a tighter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surin Posted January 12, 2004 Share Posted January 12, 2004 Sorry to hear about her loss...Once the Thai Ladies have a taste of us perfect Farang specimens...it's hard to go back I suppose!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted January 12, 2004 Share Posted January 12, 2004 Sorry to hear about her loss...Once the Thai Ladies have a taste of us perfect Farang specimens...it's hard to go back I suppose!! Sawasdee pee mai Khun Surin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NedKelly Posted January 12, 2004 Share Posted January 12, 2004 Why do we sterotype about Thai women.......... "we go now get me passport" Do all Thai women speak this language. I think not. You tar them with a similar painting stick. The guy is afraid of commitment and afraid to lose control of the relationship. He is playing with the girl and his actions speak a thousand words. He does not respect the girl or her culture. He should get the chop.....haha...and that brings to mind another thread here....about parts being lopped off with angry or jealous wives. Beware !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted January 12, 2004 Share Posted January 12, 2004 Feeding the ducks wasn't it Ned ? Gives severence pay a new meaning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
francois Posted January 12, 2004 Share Posted January 12, 2004 love love love she loves him does he love her ? here is the point ... like it has been said, for love, I will do anything that I can to go on ... no matter how and when or where ... simply the best I can do for all of it does this guy think same ? does he think ..? he might be a gentleman, but a <deleted> in disguise francois Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warriors Posted January 13, 2004 Share Posted January 13, 2004 Francois and Ned Kelly have hit the nail on the head hes had a good run with her tasted the fruits of delight but known all along this day would come. He has smiled at her and god know what eles he has done with her, all with her approvel. Now it is time to play the ferry man. She has been hopeing all along that he would ask her to be perminant fixture. You dont think for one moment that this subject has never come up. He is either a shitter or just mixed up or doesnt care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grimreaper Posted January 13, 2004 Share Posted January 13, 2004 Warriors summed it up very well. If this guy never talked about something more permanent in two years, then he was never serious about the relationship. He had his fun, now it's time to move on. The girl is about to be dumped and no doubt will be very upset. Any volunteers to comfort her for the next few years? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted January 13, 2004 Share Posted January 13, 2004 Form an orderly queue. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NedKelly Posted January 13, 2004 Share Posted January 13, 2004 Sounds unanimous to me ! He is just a bloke, a cove, a regular guy ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estrella Posted January 13, 2004 Author Share Posted January 13, 2004 Thanks for all replies. Love sucks sometimes but life goes on, right? I think my friend will be hurt forawhile but at the end she will realize how great she is and how well treated the classy girl like her deserved. Decent men please hand up, we are looking for ones!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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