Chemical Analysis Of Woman

[toastwars]

Control of Substances Hazardous to Health

HSE Material Safety Data Sheet No. 4392

"Woman" - a chemical analysis.

Element: Woman

Symbol: Wo

Discoverer: Adam

Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6kg, but may vary from 40 to 200kg

Occurrence: Common in all urban areas; more refined isotopes usually

found in outlying districts

Physical Properties:

(1) Surface usually covered with painted film

(2) Boils at various temperatures depending upon internal disorder

(3) Melts if given special treatment

(4) Bitter if incorrectly used

(5) Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore

(6) Yields to pressure applied to correct points

Chemical Properties:

(1) Has great affinity for Au, Ag, Pl and crystals of C and Si

(2) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances

(3) May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason

(4) Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation

in alcohol

(5) Most powerful money reducing agent known to man

Common Uses:

(1) Mainly ornamental

(2) Can be a great aid in relaxation

(3) Very effective cleaning agent

Tests:

(1) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when found in natural state

(2) Turns green when placed beside better specimen

Potential Hazards:

(1) Highly dangerous, except in experienced hands

(2) Illegal to possess more than one, although several specimens can be

maintained in different locations as long as they do not come into

direct contact with one another