This Week In Thailand

[Jai Dee]

It has been an unusual week newswise here in Thailand, and this article from the Editor's desk from The Nation sums it up well.

What do you think?

JUST A THOUGHT: Patronising sexists and gluttons are alive and well!

Published on November 19, 2005

I found this leaflet on my doorstep yesterday morning, and quite contrary to the usual ambiguity, the authorities are giving us the straight facts about an emerging virus, and so I wanted to share it with everyone, in case you haven’t one of your own yet:

Urgent Warning!

While Thailand is on high alert for bird flu, the public is also warned to watch out for another emerging damaging virus that has reportedly been found in several victims. Recent and frequent recurrences have confirmed its existence and, more alarmingly, that it is spreading.

Causes differ from case to case, but common symptoms include incoherent reasoning, a lack of sensibility and an impulsive outburst of appalling statements. Please read the following confirmed cases carefully, to learn how to discern an infected victim.

Case 1: This case falls under the category of “Hopeless”, because the patient shows no signs of improvement despite early detection years ago. The latest incident involves the patient falling into a state of delusion and pretentiousness in which he somehow believes he owns this country, saying this past week that police would work harder if the public informed them they were members of his political party.

This follows the recent exercise of a patronising version of “first among equals”, when the patient promised that budgets would first be allocated to provinces favouring his party. The patient also has trouble distinguishing between national and personal interests, as well as between democracy and dictatorship.

The public is reminded that the role of government is clear: the state is here to serve every single citizen equally and in a non-discriminatory fashion, so please don’t be caught up with such twisted reasoning as above.

The patient is also excessively obsessed with drawing a time frame for getting something done, as if blind to the reality that nothing has ever been achieved within such time frames.

A recent diagnosis also revealed his listening skills to be deteriorating, as he only listens to what he likes and responds to negative criticism with utter disgust.

Case 2: The latest indicator proving this case positive was that instead of finding ways to reduce violence and suicide among teenagers, the suggestion was made that wives should pray to their husbands before going to bed, to foster family ties.

X-rays show that this patient has no clue what “sexist” means and no knowledge of gender equality. No person, especially of his standing, should ever suggest such a sexist view.

Previously, the patient came up with the idea of flashing spotlights at likely motel customers during Loy Krathong in order to decrease the number of young girls engaging in sexual activities.

The public is reminded once again that individual rights must be respected. More sex education must be provided to youths, so they can understand the consequences of their actions.

His track record shows that the patient has always come up with bemusing and futile ideas to deal with today’s social ills, indicating the virus might have impaired his capacity to improve social development and human security.

Case 3: This case came out of the blue, a very worrying sign that the virus might be spreading rather quickly. The patient lashed out a string of diatribes in one go. Again, the patient referred to labourers, this time as a benchmark for “brainless people”. He compared the behaviour of certain teachers to that of labourers, saying that teachers protesting against their transfer to local administrative bodies were sending out a negative image to children. He expected more from teachers and said if they had been labourers, he would not have complained.

The public is reminded that this sort of tirade is totally unacceptable, no matter what. Unfortunately, the patient himself doesn’t seem to show any regret for his actions.

Case 4: In this latest case, the patient lost all sense of wildlife conservation despite his long career in the field and understands only greed and gluttony. Leaving the controversy about whether wildlife should be imported in the first place aside, the proposal to serve a “legal” exotic buffet of such meats as zebra and giraffe in the restaurant is simply grotesque.

The idea runs counter to all conservation efforts, sends the wrong signal to the public, especially to children, disregards moral implications and totally ignores its impact on wildlife and the environment for future generations.

Please take note that it remains unclear if the virus has already mutated to the point where it can easily jump from human to human and become drug-resistant.

The only effective way to fight it once it is detected is for the infected patient to suppress and destroy it from the inside; that is, breathe deeply and think more carefully before speaking, thereby disabling the virus’ ability to survive in such an environment.

If you see any likely cases, please warn friends and family to stay away from them. We regret to admit that we are still unsure how to destroy this virus.