muay_thai Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 I have managed to obtain a UK visa for girl of dreams and just wondered how things panned out both during and after for other people. Did the girl generally understand you more after seeing your side of the world or was the whole thing a bad experience ? Just interested to know ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Mist Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 your girl of dreams, good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
francois Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 hi' it's anyway a good thing that she can see your country with er own eyes, she will begin to believe that europe is far to be a paradise ... we have to fight also hard to keep on ... my GF liked it, and now we plan to go back with our daughter no visa yet .... you're a lucky one, take good care of her, never forget that she would feel like a farang overthere ... good luck francois Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pnustedt Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 Did the girl generally understand you more after seeing your side of theworld or was the whole thing a bad experience ? Well done! I took my then g/f to UK to meet family prior to asking her to marry. It was in March and she experienced snow for the first time. Obviously many things new - she thought there was something wrong when she put her hand on a radiator to find it hot. All-in-all a good experience and she got on well with my family and I think that it did help her understand me better. Some negatives - some people thought her lucky as she would be able to "get a British passport if she married me", whereas nothing was further from our thoughts. The usual stuff from some that she's in it for the money, etc. Also immigration at Heathrow can be unpleasant - I accompanied her thru'. We've been to UK and Europe together many times since - due again in March, she enjoys the travel and gets on very well with my family - they particularly enjoy her cooking and she will invariably do a large dinner party. Now they all want us to go to UK to set up a restaurant. Hope it's a great success - relax and enjoy it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strawberry Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 I took mine twice, 6 months and 4months. Everybody loved her would probably have stayed but she pined after her family. she comes back and is now the local expert on Australia here in the village. I loved taking her and showing her everything was a great experience for her and me. Good luck and hope you have a great time. Regards Joe Strawberry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markt Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 Muay Thai, My wife has lived in the UK (London) since 1996. She loves it. In fact, i have to book the air tickets for our trips back to Thailand without her knowledge because if i did ask her about going back on holiday, she would rather to go elsewhere! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GlenTuk Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 Muay Thai, I wish you the best of luck with you and the girl of your dreams !!, My wife experienced about 3 years in the UK, She found it hard to come to terms with most things IE Weather/Family/Cost of living/Money/language/culture and other things to boot, I work in London but commute from Suffolk (yes i'm a bumkin) So my hours were long and my wife was alone most of the time, despite the 100% support of my family khun wifey just would not accept any help and made it 10 times worse for herself she was (gen jai) i think is the expression !! This was the main stumbling block impacted by the fact that she had a tough upbringing. I think my wife and maybe others think that there fairytales come true when they stamp that visa..but alas i doesn't always work out, After 3 years of trying (maybe too hard) we mutually decided to seperate, We both were of the opinion that the bad times outweighed the good times and we would both be happier if she went back to her family and i stayed in UK, Needless to say it was the hardest thing we have both done in our lives so far, The good thing is we are both quite young Wifey 26 / me 29 and we still stay in touch etc etc.. But that is just part of my story tried to keep it as brief as possible. Please don't take this as me trying to piss on your chips !! I'm sure things will be great for you two, I wish you the best of luck, And if things get a bit tough just keep plugging away... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrvietnam2001 Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 In fact, i have to book the air tickets for our trips back to Thailand without her knowledge because if i did ask her about going back on holiday, she would rather to go elsewhere! LOL! Thus far we're at the same boat. We've been in the USA now for 10 months . Bought a house. Have done extensive renovations, gardening, landscaping and just building a new life all the way around. I asked if we should apply for an "advance parole visa" so as to catch a flight back to Vietnam and she said "no way". So we're planning on driving up the coast ( we live in South Florida) to upstate New York, Massachussets, etc, and visiting Civil War, Revolution sites, Independence Hall etc, and of course my place of birth, New York City, and maybe going up to Niagra Falls. It's wonderful. Rgrds Mr Vietnam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garry Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 My better half and myself have been to Australia a number of times and one day she asked me what do I tell people she is. I always say she's Thai and never say she's a foreigner/ferang. I said to her, people already assume that you maybe foreign, but would never say it to your face. Since that day, she has never ever called me a ferang to my face, in front of her friends or mixed company. She says I am Australian and woe betide anyone who calls me a ferang in front of her. Really sweet of her I thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesTILAC Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 As my experience goes, most of the couples (farang-Thai) who had success in their marriage living abroad are the ones between a Thai lady who did graduate/post-graduate studies overseas and engaged a relationship with a farang. I am just aware of only one friend who married a bar girl and then got the blessing of a nice family. Several cases of girls coming back after few months arguing about the weather, lack of tom yum, missed family etc.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tudorw Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 May it go well for you! I am about to marry Pim, the girl of my dreams, on April 7'th at her village in Isaan. Interestingly all her people were very encouraging and said to go for it. By contrast I feel there's there's some unspoken scepticism at my end. There's an age difference but we are both mature - me in 50's, her in 30's. Yes, that age thing! I hope to be bringing her back with me if we get through all the visa hoops. Now I can fit into Thai village life quite easily. Isaan people are warm and very curious. I can handle "falang-falang" and being on display all the time. Pim's family are lovely. Our plan (originally my plan) is to live alternate 6 months, England in summer to generate income and Thailand through winter to live a nice life in rural splendour. We will build a house there. So cheap! I had thought that Pim would have no wish to come to England. She is shy and very friends-family oriented. I was resigned to us being apart half of the year. I got that wrong. She is utterly determined. "I want to be with you all the time." That's nice. So if it can made viable then I'll go for that. But can it work? She can eat! Is fussy about food. Says she can eat anything but I've never seen her do it. Loves to gossip and go around with her friends and relatives. Where is she even going to see another Thai woman in UK, let alone speak to one? What about religion? I don't bother so I've never given it a thought - and so on... Pim really has no idea what she is getting into. I don't like to say anything negative for fear of knocking her cheerful confidence and self assurance. So I'm working to make it as easy as I can by doing things like this: 1. We will be in England summer months only to spare her the worst of the climate. 2. She needs to have telephone contact. I am now using one of these cheap telephone dial-up services that cuts the cost of a call to one tenth of what British Telecom charge. 3. I just bought an electric wok! The thought of all that energy unleased in a western kitchen gives me the heeby-jeebies. Anything that adds to appliance familiarity in a non gas and charcoal environment has to be good. 4. I work nights and weekends. When we look for her job, and she is very keen to work and contribute, I will make sure we work much the same hours so that she is left alone as little as possible. 5. When she comes we travel TOGETHER! There must be loads of things, big and small that I can do to ease the transition. Any suggestions from others who have been down this road would be very welcome. Question? Is it best to say, come for the full 6 months and tough it out, work through it. Or tell her, just give it a try for a few weeks. If you pine for home, go back and wait for me - I'll be there soon. Please help me to help her. Thanks all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesTILAC Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 A lot has been said on farang-Thai relationships. Most of the cases have gone from bad and even some were sad nightmares. However, few others still live a honey moon with an ex-bar girl and their children. I don't think it is a matter of luck, I think this is a matter of TRULY ANALYSIS on a bunch of choices considered to be taken at the right time.... Really hope your plans will work out properly. All the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric1000 Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 I have managed to obtain a UK visa for girl of dreams and just wonderedhow things panned out both during and after for other people. Did the girl generally understand you more after seeing your side of the world or was the whole thing a bad experience ? Just interested to know ! too many mitigating factors to say , there must be a 50% failure rate in the UK for thai gals. how is her english ? is she open minded ? too high aspirations ? flirty ? ex bar gal ? willing to try farang food ? likes the cold weather ? wide age gap ? old thai bloke back home pulling her strings ? we have all heard the numerous horror stories just hope yours is'nt one of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chonabot Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 In fact, i have to book the air tickets for our trips back to Thailand without her knowledge because if i did ask her about going back on holiday, she would rather to go elsewhere! LOL! Thus far we're at the same boat. We've been in the USA now for 10 months . Bought a house. Have done extensive renovations, gardening, landscaping and just building a new life all the way around. It's wonderful. Rgrds Mr Vietnam Shock horror! Mr Vietnam enjoys uphill gardening! But seriously , Tom , nice to see it's all going well for you bud. And yes , I did go to FLA in December , and NO I did not contact you. As I saud previously , you life is your own etc , this is the Web. God Bless. On a more cynical note...Muay Thai.........if you're genuine...........and I think you may be.......no other persons advice will help , matey,,,,,,it's time to take abite of the big Mango/Parsnip...and see for yourself. Life has too many variables for any constants to mean anything other than a random search result...... ( Me , Phil Hall , after many wines) Chok dee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beckers Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 MarktT, I can relate to that, my missus is the same, I have to book "covertly" to go back to Thailand otherwise if I say have holiday coming up we would be going to Spain, New York or New Zealand (hopefully with Thai Stopover for me!). Every Thai will be different when taken away from home. If the relationship is genuine then she will go anywhere you ask her to and she will try to make sure that you have "sanuck". if you can't then she can't and so doomed to failure! If you take her to your country of origin then show her all the good places to go and make sure you enjoy it, if you cannot then she cannot either! On the food side of things she will miss Som Tam, Yum Woonsen etc etc, but introduce he to the new foods with fun and she will start to like them and talk to family about them when she gets back to Thailand. I hope that Thailand keeps on producing rice rather than wheat though!! Find yor local oriental/Thai food shops though and she will be in her element! There are lot of tips and tricks to making life easier for the other half if it is in a different Country, but the main one is to make sure that you are happy together then whatever the Country brings you will overcome it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pnustedt Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Find yor local oriental/Thai food shops though and she will be in her element! For a treat take her to China Town near Covent Garden - my wife loves the restaurants and grocery shops there. Manchester also pretty good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrvietnam2001 Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 My better half and myself have been to Australia a number of times and one day she asked me what do I tell people she is. I always say she's Thai and never say she's a foreigner/ferang. I said to her, people already assume that you maybe foreign, but would never say it to your face.Since that day, she has never ever called me a ferang to my face, in front of her friends or mixed company. She says I am Australian and woe betide anyone who calls me a ferang in front of her. Really sweet of her I thought. Garry, that's really great that you two found each other. It sounds like a real relationship. Rgrds Tom oops Mr Vietnam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Mist Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 too many mitigating factors to say , there must be a 50% failure rate in the UK for thai gals. What is the farang/farang failure rate? I bet it's not much better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrvietnam2001 Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 too many mitigating factors to say , there must be a 50% failure rate in the UK for thai gals. What is the farang/farang failure rate? I bet it's not much better. The actual rate is much better between white men and Asian women who originated FROM Asia. At least I can state this with a degree of experience with regards to Vietnamese and Caucasians. Much better. My wife owns a penpal website and yes I am the money behind it although she is now totally self supporting from the businesses revenues. We are initimate with a couple dozen couples who have met and married as a result of her service and not one has separated or announced to us any negatives in their relationships over an almost 3 year period. The guys are all white, most from the US, but one from Holland, 2 in England, 1 in Spain, 2 German. We're based in Vietnam and the USA. There are quite a few phonies, but they don't get very far ( surprise!). The sincere guys all have found or are in the process of finding nice ladies and are doing fine. Rgrds Mr Vietnam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric1000 Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 too many mitigating factors to say , there must be a 50% failure rate in the UK for thai gals. What is the farang/farang failure rate? I bet it's not much better. maybe so but for different reasons of breakdown. i keep in contact with numerous gents around the UK and they tell me that virtually all the couples they know are having problems, mostly over money ,girls bored especially in rural areas where there is little to do. some seem to suffer from a drastic personality change after a year or two. their options back home are limited but they soon wise up after a spell in the UK. and get other ideas . once they get a job and start listening to their female workmates they get ideas in their heads ! girls meets nights cause problems too ,as they compare notes about their circumstances, some may have a wealthy hubby and live in a expensive property others may live in a council house in east london . then get get ideas in their head about improving matters. so i am not sure if thai girl meets are a good idea. one girl i know had a job working in a food processing factory and some guy co-worker kept offering her money for sex although she had never worked in a bar back home. very blatent offers too in front of the other workers who thought it was a hoot. hubby went round to sort him out and all ###### broke lose , she had to leave the job and last i heard he was suing the company for sexual harrasment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric1000 Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 The actual rate is much better between white men and Asian women who originated FROM Asia. At least I can state this with a degree of experience with regards to Vietnamese and Caucasians. i think there is a world of difference between vietnamese and thai women. vietnamese dont carry the baggage of the sex industry like thai females do. even if they are respectable . wheres your website ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markt Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Regarding Farang/Thai marriage breakups. We know of four such breakups amongst people that we know here in London. Although we do know a few more couples than that, but not much more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrvietnam2001 Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 The actual rate is much better between white men and Asian women who originated FROM Asia. At least I can state this with a degree of experience with regards to Vietnamese and Caucasians. i think there is a world of difference between vietnamese and thai women. vietnamese dont carry the baggage of the sex industry like thai females do. even if they are respectable . wheres your website ? Agreed. There's equally a world of difference between the types of men who engage in these types of life changing relationships. The websites generally see 60 new orders per month, and have been in exixtence for almost 3 years ( call it 32 months), which means we've had a minimum of app 2,000 new men who contracted with our services since inception. ( there's actually a lot more than that as there are extras we provide such as hotels, guides, house/apartment hunting, local Saigon classified ads, and a multitude of other things) I am the gatekeeper so as to filter out the jerks before my wife deals with them. Where I'm going with this is my information is based on real life/time proof of the pudding experiences. Not only based on "what I heard from so and so, or read in a newspaper, or "feelings" based", but the real thing and much deeper than what most people have exposure to. Anyone who could see the tip of their nose could see the differences as they are quite revealing. I don't want to post the websites url's as people like IT may think I'm trying to spam the group ( which I really have no interest in doing) and I'll get annoyed and life is too short. If you want to know then send me an email or a pm and I'll advise. Be also advised that I take no crap, I systematically reject nearly as many orders and we get and ignore others who don't appear real, or who are obviously looking for something they should simply be content with getting in BKK. It's the most incredible experience of my life and although it cost me a LOT of money to get to where we are, I have zero regrets and that feeling is shared by a great many good people who have also traveled the same or similar path. But it depends on your motives to begin with. Regards Mr Vietnam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Mist Posted January 18, 2004 Share Posted January 18, 2004 The Farang/Thai couples that I know here (in adelaide) have very stable relationships and I reckon the failure rate would be maybe 5%, I know that a few of the failures were the hubbies faults. Why we may get a more stable type of relationship here I don't know, all I know is they work here. Fillipino girls are the ones that have a bad track record here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Helper Posted January 19, 2004 Share Posted January 19, 2004 hmmmm interesting one. Firstly this is for guys who have there gf's wives, in the UK. Here is a website if ur Thai partner is lonely, it details all things Thai in the UK, addresses of all bhudist temples, Thai restraunts, Thai shops, advice, etc etc. And message boards if they are bored and want to meet up with other Thai ppl. Here it is ......... www.thailand-uk.com As for avoiding them going to meetups, this will only make things worse. What are you really gonna do, lock her in the house. Imagine if you lived in a foreign country and were told you couldn't go to meet your own countrymen/women for a social event. If you are that insecure, and are worried about them getting ideas, or that they will run off with somebody richer than you, then you obviously have married the wrong girl, and maybe you should consider packing her bags, sending her home, and filing for divorce. This also aplies if her attitude changes for the worse, you gotta get rid. But if your intelligent enough you should spot these signs before you marry. Its a sad fact that most (65% according to the British embassy in bkk) Thai girls return to Thailand after just 3-6 months in the UK, as they have had enough of it, especially if they are an ex-bargirl or hooker. I totally agree with the guy who said about the sucsessful marriages are the ones where the girl is educated to degree standard, and never worked in the sex industry. These are the ones ,from the people I know in the UK, where the marriage is still going strong after many years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dutch Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 For what it is worth,here is my (our) experience; I met my Thai wife (graduated from college) in an airplane and 10 months later we were married.After quite some investigation by her family(her brother has a lawyers office). She stayed with me in Holland/Germany/France.Learned to speak fluent Dutch and German. Inside the house we kept the Thai culture;cooking-worship Lord Buddah-teaching our son about his double heritage. I also was abandonned from the kitchen either for cooking or dish washing!She could not find work on her education level and choose to be the house director. I learned her to do all the financial daily things and of course we did have equal partnership when it comes to big decisions. We are now already 5 years in Indonesia and (yes you are right) she speaks Indonesian fluently. We will retire in Thailand end of this year. Her honest choice would be to go back to Germany.She loves snow and cold. The big secret? If you take your wife/gf outside the country, be there for her and focus on her. Don't be afraid, she will focus on you and there is the secret. You are not busy with yourself but with eachother.That is the base for marriage. Only my sharing of life experience. In august this year we will be married 27 years Good luck to all mixed marriages! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrvietnam2001 Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 Good for you both Dutch and I concur. We have a long way to go before we reach your point but after 3 years, it's almost like we're just in the beginning . Other than a few trips I've had to take and a 4 month separation because of the ###### visa thing, we're together almost 24X7 and neither one of us would have it any other way. We lost a child last year. That was not expected ( either way). I have a 23 year old daughter in NYC who I never had a relationship with and I never thought I would want another one. But after the tears of the loss, we're both planning on creation. And starting to work on it too:) Rgrds Mr Vietnam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pnustedt Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 after 3 years, it's almost like we're just in the beginning Interesting, I've been with my wife for over 7 yrs and it still feels very fresh - I learn something new every day - often about myself. That, to me, is the beauty of a cross-cultural relationship - for those with an open mind! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khutan Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 Things I will add; 1. The food, some Thai's hate western food. If she doesn't like western food there can be a problem. 2. Since she is from the north there is probably a better chance she can tolerate the cold. My wife come to Australia and it has been a cold summer, so cold she wears a ski jacket if it is less than 25 degrees...... 3. Remember you will spend alot of time at Thai resteraunts.... Good luck. One of the great things is you get to see your own country, home etc from your lovers eyes and have a totally different perspective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dutch Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 Mattnich, My wife never cooked in her life before.But she started.I even went on a search for Thai language cooking books.We went on a search for Thai rice and other stuff. We went everywhere in order to make it (special in the beginning) so comfortable as possible. To-day almost everywhere in Europe there are Asian shops for buy fresh foods from the Asian region.By the way, in Holland I could find more and better Thai vegatables than here in Indonesia! I like asian food and am eating it already all my life. When my wife now and than try to cook some european food I apreciate and like it,but i prefer the asian kitchen and wsspecially the Thai kitchen. A restaurant is nice but nothing better than a home cooked meal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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