brit1984 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I noticed many of the posts on this thread are actually attacks on certain aspects of Thailand. For balance, see below some snipes at farang-land... Thai prison inmate: actually it's not that bad in here, I plan to reoffend Pregnant Thai teenager: at least I will get a free apartment now Thai guy/girl: I live off the state, no need to work, taxpayers do it for me Foreign guy/girl: as above Thai taxpayer: I wish I didn't have to give more than half my salary to the government to spend on wars in distant lands and to provide everything free to those less inclined to getting off their backside Anyone in Thailand: it's bl00dy freezing outside Anyone in Thailand: everything is so expensive here 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Payboy Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 (edited) Group of 5 Thai golfers - Let's stop playing cards between shots and focus on our golf. Group of 5 Thai golfers - Please play through sir, you are alone. Edited March 23, 2012 by Payboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dean999 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Falang criminal - I'm going back to my home country to face the music. I'm tired of running. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dean999 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Thai news headline - Thailands first casino, opens its doors today and not a Thai customer in sight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dean999 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Thai lottery spokesman - not one ticket sold this month, as everyone is on to the scam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 The OP is absolutely delighted at the input on this thread...........absolutely hysterical and a very descriptive............the actual original post encourages us to have a go at our farang colleagues too. This is The Land Of Smiles, a country with a quite outstanding sense of humour, and for many of us that is why we love it. So far from being an attack on Thailand this thread is a labour of love, a way of showing and saying.......... Thailand.......you drive us crazy!!!.......you make us laugh!!!........but Thailand we LOVE YOU!!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post theblether Posted March 23, 2012 Author Popular Post Share Posted March 23, 2012 I would like to add, I was sitting with my gf and her family one night their quite stunning family home. The cousin that made the money was a tour guide that worked like a dog 18 hours a day for 12 years to get the money together to build the home. Being a tour guide he had heard every story in the book, and he recounted several hilarious stories about the antics of his customers and bar girls.......even the Thais know what is going on and they think it's hysterical too. At the end of the night when we were leaving the house and going through that lovely family ritual of respect that you get in Thailand, when you give full respect to the elders and things go quiet for a moment, my beautiful lady was bitten by a mosquito. So a sharp slap and the mosquito was no more..........my lady looked me straight in the eye and said. " theblether.........my pet mosquito.......it die........you must give me 5000 baht buy new one ".............. Superb one liner.........so get the brooms out of your asses and LOVE THAILAND!!!..... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sing_Sling Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 telling him to grow a pearSC Can't be a young tree then I noticed many of the posts on this thread are actually attacks on certain aspects of Thailand. For balance, see below some snipes at farang-land... Is it really that tough reading the thread title? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sing_Sling Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Thai TV watcher - No, I don't think fat people and pies in faces is funny Thai TV watcher - Yes, the histrionics on Thai soaps are unacceptable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dean999 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 (edited) Falang watching Thai tv soaps - this is brilliant, whens it on next? Edit - spelling. Edited March 23, 2012 by dean999 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I've said it many times, Blether, many of the things I find annoying about Thailand are the very same things that I enjoy. It's a strange anomaly, but it's true. I stand in wonder how everyone accepts some person stopping their vehicle right in the middle of a busy passageway just so they can purchase something at the 7-11, Or, how they will park their vehicle right outside their home at lunch hour and block a whole lane in the road... forcing the rest of the traffic to try and get around. Or, they will triple park anywhere if it means they don't have to walk further than 50 feet. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dean999 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Thai lady - I'm starting to look white, lets go to the beach to catch the sun. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dean999 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I've said it many times, Blether, many of the things I find annoying about Thailand are the very same things that I enjoy. It's a strange anomaly, but it's true. I stand in wonder how everyone accepts some person stopping their vehicle right in the middle of a busy passageway just so they can purchase something at the 7-11, Or, how they will park their vehicle right outside their home at lunch hour and block a whole lane in the road... forcing the rest of the traffic to try and get around. Or, they will triple park anywhere if it means they don't have to walk further than 50 feet. It's because their drunk and cant walk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sing_Sling Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 I've said it many times, Blether, many of the things I find annoying about Thailand are the very same things that I enjoy. It's a strange anomaly, but it's true. I stand in wonder how everyone accepts some person stopping their vehicle right in the middle of a busy passageway just so they can purchase something at the 7-11, Or, how they will park their vehicle right outside their home at lunch hour and block a whole lane in the road... forcing the rest of the traffic to try and get around. Or, they will triple park anywhere if it means they don't have to walk further than 50 feet. So true . . . I laugh and quite enjoy myself at the sight of brainless and selfish morons inconveniencing everyone else . . . Oh dear, a laugh a minute, those scalliwags 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dean999 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Pattaya bar girl - it's been 10 years of this music, so I'm changing the CD. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post strollling Posted March 23, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted March 23, 2012 Free balloons, today only when you buy a BTS ticket. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dean999 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Free balloons, today only when you buy a BTS ticket. That is better than mine. I nearly spilt my cuppa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dean999 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Russian tourist - good afternoon sir, how are you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wana Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Taxi Driver -Of course i dont Rip Off Tourists Taxi Driver - The Meter Never Gets Broken Taxi Driver _ Sorry ,i dont know where is that place ,rather than waste your time and money looking ,i suggest you take another cab Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pastitche Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 (edited) Free balloons, today only when you buy a BTS ticket. That is better than mine. I nearly spilt my cuppa. God I misread that "better" as "bigger".Just realised you have to look at Dean999's avatar for that one Edited March 23, 2012 by pastitche Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mca Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Thai Taxi Driver: Excuse me Sir. Do you speak Thai? I was just checking before I started talking to your wife about you and referring to you as the "farang" this and the "farang" that. Thai Taxi Driver: Do you mind if I change the radio station from Luk Thung to a bit of Industrial Drum and Bass? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauljones Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 BMA Officer: "Of course we run the disfigured Cambodian beggar gangs. You think we would let them sit on our footpath, take all those donations without our cut?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauljones Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Taxi driver: "I am taking english lessons so I can provide a better service to our foreign visitors." (translation- I want to be able to scam the farang) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mca Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 TO CELEBRATE THE ANNIVERSARY OF THE BANGKOK MASS TRANSIT SYSTEM WE'RE HOSTING A BIG BALLOON BALLISTIC BONANZA!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mca Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Sombat! You're fired! There's no room for people who drive like maniacs to get to the next pickup to maximize profits thus endangering the lives of the passengers in this minivan company! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benbear Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 (edited) PM Yingluck = Yeah, even my Brother did a better job than me Our Yingluck = I love speaking English Super PM luck = Lady in red is my favourite song Edited March 24, 2012 by benbear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeyserSoze01 Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Condo builder - Maybe we should build the railings on the balcony a little taller. Condo Assc - Yes, we know only one of the four elevators works and no, we don't know when they will be fixed. Condo builder - No sir, you will not be getting a title to your condo because we sold that one three times. Hotel Reception - Yes sir, I can tell exactly how to get to where you are going. Let me draw you a map. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thaddeus Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 I have a cunning plan. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 I have a cunning plan. Sadly we hear that all too often, and too rarely in jest. We rarely hear "I have a plan so flawed in its conception that its execution will be indistinguishable from anarchic, aimless and ignorant panic", except, of course, when me and Smokie are planning a night out for some poor unsuspecting newbie who had the naive temerity to ask for recommendations in the pub forum SC 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thaddeus Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 I have a cunning plan. Sadly we hear that all too often, and too rarely in jest. It was tongue in cheek mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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