Why Is It So Difficult To Find A Good Friend In Thailand

thequietman · April 30, 2012

BENDIX - I'll be back in Thailand in a weeks time. Will you be my friend???? I'm so alone.

No. Sod off.

If you want a friend, talk to thequietman. He has a vacancy.

Now, thats funny.

wana · April 30, 2012

never thought id say this but i agree with bendix on this one

sometimes i want to sit down and mind my own business or eat ,drink ,shop or watch sports in peace or sometimes im answering emails ( ie .working ) on my phone etc

that means NOT being interrogated by farangs who think they can ask me questions

about why i happen to be in thailand and what work i do ,where i live and how long have i been.........

and can i speak thai ......and where is the best place to get........

i might be the only customer in a bar with 20 tables and a farang comes in and decides i will be his new friend ...

and he will tell me the story of his life and how he winded up in thailand ...........then maybe give me some story

about being ripped off and ask if i can lend him a couple of 1000 thb or buy him a few beers etc

i dont tolerate such idiots either ,sorry in advance if it seems rude to some but i value my time more than offending some idiot ......

cup-O-coffee · April 30, 2012

never thought id say this but i agree with bendix on this one

sometimes i want to sit down and mind my own business or eat ,drink ,shop or watch sports in peace or sometimes im answering emails ( ie .working ) on my phone etc

that means NOT being interrogated by farangs who think they can ask me questions

about why i happen to be in thailand and what work i do ,where i live and how long have i been.........

and can i speak thai ......and where is the best place to get........

i might be the only customer in a bar with 20 tables and a farang comes in and decides i will be his new friend ...

and he will tell me the story of his life and how he winded up in thailand ...........then maybe give me some story

about being ripped off and ask if i can lend him a couple of 1000 thb or buy him a few beers etc

i dont tolerate such idiots either ,sorry in advance if it seems rude to some but i value my time more than offending some idiot ......

Alright, but you are agreeing with someone who has hijacked a thread.

So what is the difference from being able to politely interrupt and say, "Excuse me, but I came here to be alone. I hope you don't mind, but I'd appreciate it if you would respect that." If they don't then keep moving on and eventually you will find yourself on a mountain top swatting at the flies.

Allowing yourself to be subjected to things, where you have a choice not to, is making you out to to be in the wrong (NOT him / her / them) by allowing it to happen with your silence and acknowledgement through body language. You are simply feeding their ego. Just let them know. What is the big deal? Your solitude comes with a price, and sometimes the cost is letting people know vocally and politely.

This thread is about questioning the difficulties and challenges of finding a friend. Bendix has hijacked it with his disagreeable attitude and turned the entire OP around towards talking about people that you will rarely encounter or be subjected to if you have half a brain and a small bit of politeness and courtesy.

Why do people like this whine they want to be alone and then put themselves into the thick of it and act like the turf they chose is theirs and theirs alone? Ya wanna be alone? Go find a mountain top. Ya wanna be alone in the thick of it? Get used to the variables and be nice and most of the time they will respect that. Maybe Bendix should be the one to sod off (as he eloquently put it to another poster) and quit interrupting very legitimate and thoughtful responses to a very legitimate and realistic quandary about not wishing to be alone all the time, and simply being able to have a nice conversation and cold one with a kindred spirit.

Now, back to the OP!

edwinclapham · April 30, 2012

I like the way you spell humour. It tells me a lot. Suddenly the entire thread makes sense.

You spell it the English way, he spells it the American way ......... that tells me he may be American.

(or Canadian, etc., but granted if he is English it does tell us something)

Sorry to disappoint. I am not English, perish the thought.

defo a Scot then! Maybe?

bendix · April 30, 2012

Maybe Bendix should be the one to sod off (as he eloquently put it to another poster) and quit interrupting very legitimate and thoughtful responses to a very legitimate and realistic quandary about not wishing to be alone all the time, and simply being able to have a nice conversation and cold one with a kindred spirit.

You see, this is where i have a problem.

What makes people assume they are kindred spirits simply because they share the same colour skin in a country surrounded by another race?

As for hijacking the thread . . well, if bringing a different perspective to a whiney, self-pitying plaintive cry of 'booo freaking hoo, why can't i find any friends in this godforsaken tiny community that I deliberately chose to place myself in of my own free will,' and keeping it going for for 15 pages then guilty as charged.

StreetCowboy · April 30, 2012

I like the way you spell humour. It tells me a lot. Suddenly the entire thread makes sense.

You spell it the English way, he spells it the American way ......... that tells me he may be American.

(or Canadian, etc., but granted if he is English it does tell us something)

Sorry to disappoint. I am not English, perish the thought.

defo a Scot then! Maybe?

Shouldn't that be "Deaffo, a Scot, then."?

Eh? What do you say to that? Eh? Eh? Speak up, man.

SC

BigJohnnyBKK · April 30, 2012

i dont tolerate such idiots either ,sorry in advance if it seems rude to some but i value my time more than offending some idiot ......

Obviously up to each of us how we want to relate. If I don't want to be bothered in the first place, or want to cut short what seems to be turning into a wacko monologue, it's easy enough to calmly and politely assert what you want without being rude.

Sure some might *take* offense, but it's usually best to try one's best to avoid *giving* it.

All this is very different from closing oneself off from random new experiences and contacts - which is of course also entirely within your rights, but I would suggest not conducive to maximizing our happiness within the short time we're given on this beautiful bit of rock.

wana · April 30, 2012

never thought id say this but i agree with bendix on this one

sometimes i want to sit down and mind my own business or eat ,drink ,shop or watch sports in peace or sometimes im answering emails ( ie .working ) on my phone etc

that means NOT being interrogated by farangs who think they can ask me questions

about why i happen to be in thailand and what work i do ,where i live and how long have i been.........

and can i speak thai ......and where is the best place to get........

i might be the only customer in a bar with 20 tables and a farang comes in and decides i will be his new friend ...

and he will tell me the story of his life and how he winded up in thailand ...........then maybe give me some story

about being ripped off and ask if i can lend him a couple of 1000 thb or buy him a few beers etc

i dont tolerate such idiots either ,sorry in advance if it seems rude to some but i value my time more than offending some idiot ......

Alright, but you are agreeing with someone who has hijacked a thread.

So what is the difference from being able to politely interrupt and say, "Excuse me, but I came here to be alone. I hope you don't mind, but I'd appreciate it if you would respect that." If they don't then keep moving on and eventually you will find yourself on a mountain top swatting at the flies.

Allowing yourself to be subjected to things, where you have a choice not to, is making you out to to be in the wrong (NOT him / her / them) by allowing it to happen with your silence and acknowledgement through body language. You are simply feeding their ego. Just let them know. What is the big deal? Your solitude comes with a price, and sometimes the cost is letting people know vocally and politely.

This thread is about questioning the difficulties and challenges of finding a friend. Bendix has hijacked it with his disagreeable attitude and turned the entire OP around towards talking about people that you will rarely encounter or be subjected to if you have half a brain and a small bit of politeness and courtesy.

Why do people like this whine they want to be alone and then put themselves into the thick of it and act like the turf they chose is theirs and theirs alone? Ya wanna be alone? Go find a mountain top. Ya wanna be alone in the thick of it? Get used to the variables and be nice and most of the time they will respect that. Maybe Bendix should be the one to sod off (as he eloquently put it to another poster) and quit interrupting very legitimate and thoughtful responses to a very legitimate and realistic quandary about not wishing to be alone all the time, and simply being able to have a nice conversation and cold one with a kindred spirit.

Now, back to the OP!

theres a differnce in "putting yourself in the thick of it " and entitled to be in public place and wish to NOT have the company of another lonely bored homesick farang

and btw ,threads go in many directions ,we are nearly on page 15 of a thread about a guy who lives in the middle of knowhere and hasnt much friends ,surprise surprise !

how many pages did you think it would take to go "off course " .......

30 pages? .45 pages ?

how much more is there to discuss about making friends in a place where there is almost no people ??

chrisinth · April 30, 2012

I like the way you spell humour. It tells me a lot. Suddenly the entire thread makes sense.

You spell it the English way, he spells it the American way ......... that tells me he may be American.

(or Canadian, etc., but granted if he is English it does tell us something)

Sorry to disappoint. I am not English, perish the thought.

defo a Scot then! Maybe?

Would have to guess thequietman is Irish (with a possibility of being a Jock). The line he used in the opening post:

"Someone who doesnt run home like a wee bitch" sounds Irish to me.

bendix · April 30, 2012

Can we be friends, cup-of-camp-coffee? I feel warm and cuddly now that you have 'decreed your opinion on me.'

wana · April 30, 2012

he is from northern ireland

cup-O-coffee · April 30, 2012

Back to the OP

thequietman, you can PM me any time. I live in Pattaya, and I was a bit suspect at first when I read your OP, but the way you have held up throughout this thread is noteworthy to me at least. I hope this thread is not locked because the subject is near to my heart as well. Sometimes I am so goddamned lonely for a bit of company that it actually distracts me from being able to concentrate on anything else. it is like a fever and it demotes me from being as productive as I could be.

There simply isn't enough that one can say about being able to know that there is a place or a person where and whom you can go to and they will know your name. Sound corny? Sound like "Cheers"? Well, actually the sitcom Cheers originated from the very same question that you pose. Men need men to get their feet back on the ground and to be reminded of things they perhaps have forgotten about or to even simply enjoy a dam_n good football game. Those men who fight that and try to make it out to be a pansy type thing ought to have their brains slapped around IF they choose to interfere and denigrate this.

I will be honest and say that over the last few days, this thread has compelled me to search myself and come up with some pretty sober answers about my shortcomings and how I am viewed by others. So, thanks thequietman, and thanks TV for letting this thread go on......... despite!

cup-O-coffee · April 30, 2012

Can we be friends, cup-of-camp-coffee? I feel warm and cuddly now that you have 'decreed your opinion on me.'

Absolutely. I am willing to give it a shot. I love your tenacity, but you piss me off. I'd love to. PM me. I'm here. Just don't give me the rush and you'd better be sincere!

cup-O-coffee · April 30, 2012

never thought id say this but i agree with bendix on this one

sometimes i want to sit down and mind my own business or eat ,drink ,shop or watch sports in peace or sometimes im answering emails ( ie .working ) on my phone etc

that means NOT being interrogated by farangs who think they can ask me questions

about why i happen to be in thailand and what work i do ,where i live and how long have i been.........

and can i speak thai ......and where is the best place to get........

i might be the only customer in a bar with 20 tables and a farang comes in and decides i will be his new friend ...

and he will tell me the story of his life and how he winded up in thailand ...........then maybe give me some story

about being ripped off and ask if i can lend him a couple of 1000 thb or buy him a few beers etc

i dont tolerate such idiots either ,sorry in advance if it seems rude to some but i value my time more than offending some idiot ......

Alright, but you are agreeing with someone who has hijacked a thread.

So what is the difference from being able to politely interrupt and say, "Excuse me, but I came here to be alone. I hope you don't mind, but I'd appreciate it if you would respect that." If they don't then keep moving on and eventually you will find yourself on a mountain top swatting at the flies.

Allowing yourself to be subjected to things, where you have a choice not to, is making you out to to be in the wrong (NOT him / her / them) by allowing it to happen with your silence and acknowledgement through body language. You are simply feeding their ego. Just let them know. What is the big deal? Your solitude comes with a price, and sometimes the cost is letting people know vocally and politely.

This thread is about questioning the difficulties and challenges of finding a friend. Bendix has hijacked it with his disagreeable attitude and turned the entire OP around towards talking about people that you will rarely encounter or be subjected to if you have half a brain and a small bit of politeness and courtesy.

Why do people like this whine they want to be alone and then put themselves into the thick of it and act like the turf they chose is theirs and theirs alone? Ya wanna be alone? Go find a mountain top. Ya wanna be alone in the thick of it? Get used to the variables and be nice and most of the time they will respect that. Maybe Bendix should be the one to sod off (as he eloquently put it to another poster) and quit interrupting very legitimate and thoughtful responses to a very legitimate and realistic quandary about not wishing to be alone all the time, and simply being able to have a nice conversation and cold one with a kindred spirit.

Now, back to the OP!

theres a differnce in "putting yourself in the thick of it " and entitled to be in public place and wish to NOT have the company of another lonely bored homesick farang

and btw ,threads go in many directions ,we are nearly on page 15 of a thread about a guy who lives in the middle of knowhere and hasnt much friends ,surprise surprise !

how many pages did you think it would take to go "off course " .......

30 pages? .45 pages ?

how much more is there to discuss about making friends in a place where there is almost no people ??

And what makes you so confident that your interpretation of all of this matters?

I for one am enjoying this thread. I really do. I take the good with the bad, and I am getting more good out of threads like this where "men" have to come clean and open up a bit and describe what makes them tick. Clearly some are afraid of that and try to hide behind their "mysterious warrior" shell. I can be as tough as the rest of them, but being a father is teaching me that you don't have to be a bully to be strong and courageous.

Again, I am really enjoying this thread. Even Bendix is relenting a bit with his jibing crack at being my friend. His danger is that I took him up on it, and now he has to ante up, or face the consequences of looking like a fool.

I will make an attempt at being his friend, and only his insincerity will be his undoing... unless of course he is in one of those "I wanna be alone" moods. I'll respect that.

Cheers

bendix · April 30, 2012

Back to the OP

thequietman, you can PM me any time. I live in Pattaya, and I was a bit suspect at first when I read your OP, but the way you have held up throughout this thread is noteworthy to me at least. I hope this thread is not locked because the subject is near to my heart as well. Sometimes I am so goddamned lonely for a bit of company that it actually distracts me from being able to concentrate on anything else. it is like a fever and it demotes me from being as productive as I could be.

There simply isn't enough that one can say about being able to know that there is a place or a person where and whom you can go to and they will know your name. Sound corny? Sound like "Cheers"? Well, actually the sitcom Cheers originated from the very same question that you pose. Men need men to get their feet back on the ground and to be reminded of things they perhaps have forgotten about or to even simply enjoy a dam_n good football game. Those men who fight that and try to make it out to be a pansy type thing ought to have their brains slapped around IF they choose to interfere and denigrate this.

I will be honest and say that over the last few days, this thread has compelled me to search myself and come up with some pretty sober answers about my shortcomings and how I am viewed by others. So, thanks thequietman, and thanks TV for letting this thread go on......... despite!

Hey, that's lovely. A guy who starts a thread about the inability of finding someone who is a friend in a tiny community miles away from anywhere called Phrae has been offered the hand of friendship by a complete stranger who lives in . . . ummmm . . . Pattaya.

It's great. All thequietman's problems have been solved.

Jeez, if you wanted virtual friends, OP, why not join freaking Facebook?

bendix · April 30, 2012

Can we be friends, cup-of-camp-coffee? I feel warm and cuddly now that you have 'decreed your opinion on me.'

Absolutely. I am willing to give it a shot. I love your tenacity, but you piss me off. I'd love to. PM me. I'm here. Just don't give me the rush and you'd better be sincere!

Ummmmm . . on second thoughts, perhaps not. The last time a farang in Pattaya approached me offering me friendship and conversation he was some shyster selling timeshare condos.

How about we stay mutually contemptuous of each other? You know it makes sense.

bendix · April 30, 2012

never thought id say this but i agree with bendix on this one

sometimes i want to sit down and mind my own business or eat ,drink ,shop or watch sports in peace or sometimes im answering emails ( ie .working ) on my phone etc

that means NOT being interrogated by farangs who think they can ask me questions

about why i happen to be in thailand and what work i do ,where i live and how long have i been.........

and can i speak thai ......and where is the best place to get........

i might be the only customer in a bar with 20 tables and a farang comes in and decides i will be his new friend ...

and he will tell me the story of his life and how he winded up in thailand ...........then maybe give me some story

about being ripped off and ask if i can lend him a couple of 1000 thb or buy him a few beers etc

i dont tolerate such idiots either ,sorry in advance if it seems rude to some but i value my time more than offending some idiot ......

Alright, but you are agreeing with someone who has hijacked a thread.

So what is the difference from being able to politely interrupt and say, "Excuse me, but I came here to be alone. I hope you don't mind, but I'd appreciate it if you would respect that." If they don't then keep moving on and eventually you will find yourself on a mountain top swatting at the flies.

Allowing yourself to be subjected to things, where you have a choice not to, is making you out to to be in the wrong (NOT him / her / them) by allowing it to happen with your silence and acknowledgement through body language. You are simply feeding their ego. Just let them know. What is the big deal? Your solitude comes with a price, and sometimes the cost is letting people know vocally and politely.

This thread is about questioning the difficulties and challenges of finding a friend. Bendix has hijacked it with his disagreeable attitude and turned the entire OP around towards talking about people that you will rarely encounter or be subjected to if you have half a brain and a small bit of politeness and courtesy.

Why do people like this whine they want to be alone and then put themselves into the thick of it and act like the turf they chose is theirs and theirs alone? Ya wanna be alone? Go find a mountain top. Ya wanna be alone in the thick of it? Get used to the variables and be nice and most of the time they will respect that. Maybe Bendix should be the one to sod off (as he eloquently put it to another poster) and quit interrupting very legitimate and thoughtful responses to a very legitimate and realistic quandary about not wishing to be alone all the time, and simply being able to have a nice conversation and cold one with a kindred spirit.

Now, back to the OP!

theres a differnce in "putting yourself in the thick of it " and entitled to be in public place and wish to NOT have the company of another lonely bored homesick farang

and btw ,threads go in many directions ,we are nearly on page 15 of a thread about a guy who lives in the middle of knowhere and hasnt much friends ,surprise surprise !

how many pages did you think it would take to go "off course " .......

30 pages? .45 pages ?

how much more is there to discuss about making friends in a place where there is almost no people ??

And what makes you so confident that your interpretation of all of this matters?

I for one am enjoying this thread. I really do. I take the good with the bad, and I am getting more good out of threads like this where "men" have to come clean and open up a bit and describe what makes them tick. Clearly some are afraid of that and try to hide behind their "mysterious warrior" shell. I can be as tough as the rest of them, but being a father is teaching me that you don't have to be a bully to be strong and courageous.

Again, I am really enjoying this thread. Even Bendix is relenting a bit with his jibing crack at being my friend. His danger is that I took him up on it, and now he has to ante up, or face the consequences of looking like a fool.

I will make an attempt at being his friend, and only his insincerity will be his undoing... unless of course he is in one of those "I wanna be alone" moods. I'll respect that.

Cheers

Wait. I've got it. You're one of those California types with a library full of Self Help and Self Improvement books, arent you?

dezrat773 · April 30, 2012

Wow! I think the dog's on the soi are kinder to each other. I will agree that I don't go out of my way to approach another westerner, but I will frequently smile or nod my head. All of my friends are Thai, my partner is Thai, and I work in my Thai families business, I go to a Temple that is all Thai, shop and live in places that are just about all Thai.

Westerner's here in Thailand are a mix of those who prefer to hang with other westerners and those who choose to just associate with Thai's. I think we can all be civil to each other, but we don't have to engage every Farang we encounter. I have witnessed when my Thai partner and I travel to the west that indeed he engages other Thai's. Nothing more than Sawadee or whatever. Smaller gene pool! We have met some great people because he is not shy. Would I do it in the west, no! Would I do it here, probably no! I might smile, nod and on ocassion say hello, but that is my choice.

Now for any of you who are interested in becoming part of a group of Gay Retirees, check out the Forum. This is a social group, not a sex group. Mainly for men and women who are Gay, retired and may want mutual social support. It's open to anyone of like mind. We will meet soon here in Bangkok and if your interested go to the forum. We have some very interesting people who are part of this group and you're welcome to be part of it if you can be respectfull and leave your attitude at the door.

Cheers

transam · April 30, 2012

Wow! I think the dog's on the soi are kinder to each other. I will agree that I don't go out of my way to approach another westerner, but I will frequently smile or nod my head. All of my friends are Thai, my partner is Thai, and I work in my Thai families business, I go to a Temple that is all Thai, shop and live in places that are just about all Thai.

Westerner's here in Thailand are a mix of those who prefer to hang with other westerners and those who choose to just associate with Thai's. I think we can all be civil to each other, but we don't have to engage every Farang we encounter. I have witnessed when my Thai partner and I travel to the west that indeed he engages other Thai's. Nothing more than Sawadee or whatever. Smaller gene pool! We have met some great people because he is not shy. Would I do it in the west, no! Would I do it here, probably no! I might smile, nod and on ocassion say hello, but that is my choice.

Now for any of you who are interested in becoming part of a group of Gay Retirees, check out the Forum. This is a social group, not a sex group. Mainly for men and women who are Gay, retired and may want mutual social support. It's open to anyone of like mind. We will meet soon here in Bangkok and if your interested go to the forum. We have some very interesting people who are part of this group and you're welcome to be part of it if you can be respectfull and leave your attitude at the door.

Cheers

I'll pass.

phomsanuk · April 30, 2012

People who are willing to leave family and friend at home to travel far away must be intrinsically self sufficient confident loners

transam · April 30, 2012

People who are willing to leave family and friend at home to travel far away must be intrinsically self sufficient confident loners

Noooooooooooo, not always.

StreetCowboy · April 30, 2012

People who are willing to leave family and friend at home to travel far away must be intrinsically self sufficient confident loners

People who are willing to leave family and friend at home to travel far away must be intrinsically self sufficient confident loners

Noooooooooooo, not always.

Some of us could be escapees from secure institutions. Or on the run from the mob. Or just lacking a sense of direction...

samsiam · April 30, 2012

People who are willing to leave family and friend at home to travel far away must be intrinsically self sufficient confident loners

People who are willing to leave family and friend at home to travel far away must be intrinsically self sufficient confident loners

Noooooooooooo, not always.

Some of us could be escapees from secure institutions. Or on the run from the mob. Or just lacking a sense of direction...

How could it be secure ??

How many in a mob exactly ??

Or we could just be lost.

theblether · April 30, 2012

People who are willing to leave family and friend at home to travel far away must be intrinsically self sufficient confident loners

People who are willing to leave family and friend at home to travel far away must be intrinsically self sufficient confident loners

Noooooooooooo, not always.

Some of us could be escapees from secure institutions. Or on the run from the mob. Or just lacking a sense of direction...

Bendix hasn't escaped yet. I have it on good authority that the guards allow him to spend his life on TV pretending to be an urbane and wealthy ex-pat.

His psychiatrists' have been intrigued by his obsession with annoying pensioners. Now they are getting concerned with his obsession about annoying everybody.

Edited April 30, 2012 by theblether

transam · April 30, 2012

psychiatrist, pensioners

, you forgot ''me'' trying to help folk for free.

bendix · April 30, 2012

psychiatrist, pensioners , you forgot ''me'' trying to help folk for free.

How could we forget? You remind us every thirty minutes.

transam · April 30, 2012

psychiatrist, pensioners , you forgot ''me'' trying to help folk for free.

How could we forget? You remind us every thirty minutes.

Excellent advertising though eh. AND nooooooooooooo collection box.

bendix · April 30, 2012

It's usually considered good form to laugh only at other people's jokes and comments, transam. Not your own.

And, even then, only when they are mildly amusing.

theblether · April 30, 2012

It's usually considered good form to laugh only at other people's jokes and comments, transam. Not your own.

And, even then, only when they are mildly amusing.

You two are comedy gold. I love it

transam · April 30, 2012

It's usually considered good form to laugh only at other people's jokes and comments, transam. Not your own.

And, even then, only when they are mildly amusing.

TB's words left me laughing, not my words. Only my advertising eh.

PS. You need help with anything LOS ? Sorry, your finance stuff isn't my thing.

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