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Around the wicket, umpire, and call an ambulance.

Yorkshire fast bowler Steve Kirby to the umpire, as Lancashire batsman Chris Schofield arrived at the wicket

You've got to bat on this in a minute, Tufnell. Hospital food suit you?

Australian fast bowler Craig McDermott, parting words after being dismissed by Phil Tufnell, 1991.

Don't bother shutting it, son, you won't be there long enough.

England bowler Fred Truman as a new Australian batsman closed the gate on his way out of the pavillion at Lord's

Allan Donald, bowling short to Allan Lamb:

Lambie, if you want to drive, go hire a car.

Allan Lamb, having cover-driven the next ball for 4.

Go park that f*&ker.

Exchange between Warwickshire's Allan Donald and Northamptonshire's Allan Lamb

McGrath: What's Lara like in bed, mate?

Sarwan: Why don't you ask your wife?

Glean McGrath walks into another ambush, this time by West Indies vice-captain Ramnaresh Sarwan.

Arjuna, he's probably slotting himself around at 150 kilos at the moment, is he? Swallowed a sheep or something like that.

Shane Warne on the large Sri Lankan Arjuna Ranatunga.

It is better to swallow a sheep or a goat than swallow what he's been swallowing.

Ranatunga's response as Warn had been banned from the game for 2 years for testing +ve for a banned substance.

Fred Trueman was bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip, and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". The reply is classic Trueman, "Not you, son. Your mother should've!"

Mark Waugh was standing at second slip. Adam Parore, the new player to the crease played & missed the first ball.

Mark - "Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were sh!t then, you're f**king useless now".

Parore- (Turning around) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly slut & now I hear you've married her. You dumb c**t".

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