I am a girl from Beijing, China, i worked in thailand for 20 months. and my bf is from australia. he is 47 years old. and married. he has 4 kids. but he and his wife is in seperation according to what he said. we are bf and gf for two years. we knew each other online 3 years ago, then we chat everyday, i felt like i found the other me in the world. we are so similar people. i didnt expect that i would fall in love with him as he is 20 years older than me. yea, but it happened. i think he is the most perfect man i have known . he has a stable job, and does some charity work everyyear in poor country. i love his heart. he flied to thailand to see me twice a year. we went travelling in different places in thailand. it is like he already became my whole life. i think i want to marry him dispite of the age difference. maybe it is just a number like some people said. i talked to him about where this relationship is going this week cos it is been 2 years.. and i said to him that i was afriad to ask him this question about marriage, cos if i ask, i may lose him. but if i dont ask, then i may regret it the rest of my life. then he said that we still have a lot of time to talk about this in the future. then i feel like he is getting farther away from me. cos we usually talk everyday. after that thing, he is always busy and rarely online this week.

am i losing him? what am i supposed to do now? does he really love me?

i may sound crazy to you guys, yea, but that is my story . i never really wanted to get involved in other people's family. but it happened this way. i have a decent job, and i am an attractive girl. i feel really bad now, i am afraid of losing him in my life.

please give me some advice.

Bendix is usually onto these straight away. He must be tired

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I get the impression that he is happy as it is,

in other words he want to continue like it has been the last two years,

having his family in Australia and come here and meet you 2 - 4 times a year.

On a second thought he may not at all be happy about it,

but through economy and/or obligations still can't or won't change current status

Maybe you could find a husband in China

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

does he really love me?

I live in Australia ... he's Australian, I'll ask round the neighbourhood and get back to you on this.

I might be willing to hedge my bets too OP...

I might be willing to hedge my bets too OP...

+1 (subject to due diligence)

The fact that he's stopped taking your calls like he used to,

is not a good sign.

Tell him to 'put up or shut up'......

Tell his wife

does he really love me?

I live in Australia ... he's Australian, I'll ask round the neighbourhood and get back to you on this.

It is only an island after all...shouldn't have too many problems finding him.

You don't really know someone until you live together for at least a year.

I think I've seen the guy. He hangs around at the local street corner most times. Next time I see him, I'll ask him if he's serious.

Edited May 28, 201214 yr by Payboy

I would forget him. You are young and have your life ahead of you. If you can travel and see the world you will realise that he was not for you. Good luck for the future.

OP, there are many considerations to take into account and to be frank and fair you havent had a long term combination period together.

The age difference isnt something to be ignored although there are many relationships with large age gaps that are proven to be successful.

Your "friend" has 4 children, and understandably I would be very cautious introducing an outsider to my children if you are not the chosen one.

He is not a divorced man and therefore right now he isnt free to commit himself to anyone right now.

Sponsoring anyone from overseas into Australia (or any other country for that matter) is a very serious commitment, emotionally and financially ... his financial contribution to his ex partner and family will take a large proportion of his salary and second time around he would be justifiably cautious.

Personally I wouldnt push him into a corner, he has a lot of thinking to do.. and ultimately in his own way he is probably protecting you also!

If its meant to be.........