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Who'S The Whisperer? What Are They Saying?


theblether

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Our whisperer was a very-rich auntie, who (I learned later) had said at our wedding that it would never last, we always make a point of visiting the now-not-so-rich auntie's family, whenever we visit my wife's home-town, 20 years on & with our teenage-children.

Perhaps she can learn from the experience ?

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You can try to prevent this by isolating her from her previous "friends" and family that you consider harmful and certainly don't live in the midst of them. Make sure her hands and brain are kept busy on positive improvements to her life so in future she is less dependent on you, and in the meantime try to be worthy of praise and positive envy, but in anticipation of future happiness rather than immediate ATM output.

If she listens to them to the point that she crosses the line with you and the relationship slides downhill as a result, then she isn't worth holding on to, let her go and move on.

I agree with that in principle, yet with lifelong friends from the village it is not so easy to keep a woman away from these friends, especially when they need to go to the village to see family, help with the farm and other reasons. That is when I feel a lot of this starts. Then there is the telephone and we know how they love to chat :)

Yes, a lot is down to the woman herself but the peer pressure can be powerful. Often that is when the demands start. I get the impression that Thai people in general do not have that independence we were brought up with to think for ourselves.

It is a great shame too. I know several friends whose relationships have ended due to peer pressure.

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Jealousy is certainly an issue, I sometimes wonder do we underestimate the peer pressure on our partners?

As an aside I was out on a daytrip with my lady, she was buying fruit, I was browsing another market stall. I knew the 2 female stallholders were talking about me, then a guy joined in the conversation. Out of nowhere my normally demure and gentle lady went wild, just 1% away from attacking them.

I stood amazed at what I was witnessing and the 3 amigos slunk back with their tails between their legs. Turned out the chat between the amigos was that my lady must be a BG cos she had a farang boyfriend.

Unfortunately for them she heard them, she went wild as I said, and I realized then that there is a lot of assumption and prejiduce ladled on to our partners too.

Food for thought for me.

of course there is, were you vain enough to think it is all about you? It cuts both ways.

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You can try to prevent this by isolating her from her previous "friends" and family that you consider harmful and certainly don't live in the midst of them. Make sure her hands and brain are kept busy on positive improvements to her life so in future she is less dependent on you, and in the meantime try to be worthy of praise and positive envy, but in anticipation of future happiness rather than immediate ATM output.

If she listens to them to the point that she crosses the line with you and the relationship slides downhill as a result, then she isn't worth holding on to, let her go and move on.

I agree with that in principle, yet with lifelong friends from the village it is not so easy to keep a woman away from these friends, especially when they need to go to the village to see family, help with the farm and other reasons. That is when I feel a lot of this starts. Then there is the telephone and we know how they love to chat :)

Yes, a lot is down to the woman herself but the peer pressure can be powerful. Often that is when the demands start. I get the impression that Thai people in general do not have that independence we were brought up with to think for ourselves.

It is a great shame too. I know several friends whose relationships have ended due to peer pressure.

Peer pressure is a serious issue, your comment that it has ended several relationships says it all.

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You can try to prevent this by isolating her from her previous "friends" and family that you consider harmful and certainly don't live in the midst of them. Make sure her hands and brain are kept busy on positive improvements to her life so in future she is less dependent on you, and in the meantime try to be worthy of praise and positive envy, but in anticipation of future happiness rather than immediate ATM output.

If she listens to them to the point that she crosses the line with you and the relationship slides downhill as a result, then she isn't worth holding on to, let her go and move on.

I agree with that in principle, yet with lifelong friends from the village it is not so easy to keep a woman away from these friends, especially when they need to go to the village to see family, help with the farm and other reasons. That is when I feel a lot of this starts. Then there is the telephone and we know how they love to chat smile.png

Yes, a lot is down to the woman herself but the peer pressure can be powerful. Often that is when the demands start. I get the impression that Thai people in general do not have that independence we were brought up with to think for ourselves.

It is a great shame too. I know several friends whose relationships have ended due to peer pressure.

Peer pressure is a serious issue, your comment that it has ended several relationships says it all.

And I believe it will continue to do so for many. It is difficult to battle against such a culture even if we understood the language better.

The last relationship of mine also ended this way while she was back home and as I have mentioned in other topics the demands for 20K Baht a month came after she went home amongst her friends. Prior to that we had a pretty good relationship. When she realised I was walking away from this relationship she wanted a face to face meting and came 600 kilometers to meet me. Face to face things went very well. The demand was dropped. Yet she had to go back home to tend to her sick mother - who is genuinely sick - and after that there were friends in the background on many calls. Women even speaking English at times, not knowing I could hear them over the phone. Needless to say the demands for 20K re-surfaced and the calls started to get nasty with others in the background I could hear speaking to her.

End of any future communications from me because I refuse to give in to demands like those and life is too short to bicker like that and against unseen and unknown 'whisperers'.

Yet who is the loser in all this? She is 37 now and rarely ventured beyond her village and into 'our world'. She understands nothing of the internet and has limited English vocabulary. I cannot see her doing well as a BG either.

Whisperers 1 - 0 :)

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I am lucky as my wife left her village when quite young and became very independent and developed a strong will.

Now many years later, we are back in her home village and she gets the whispers from many who have lived here all their lives.

The whispers range from....other women having dreams about me.....to others wanting to borrow money because she is married to farang....and just basic jealous remarks.

My wife just laughs at all of it...but she still believes in ghosts. blink.png

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Now we are verging the topic of deciding for yourself, as it pertains to Thai culture and people. Perhaps it should be its own thread because it has a powerful effect on how we navigate our relationships with Thais. Perhaps it is one of those things that Kipling meant when he said "East is East and West is West, and never the twain shall meet".

It is disheartening/frustraing to me when my wife changes her mind, from a good decision to a poor one, simply because the last person she spoke to had an alternate opinion.

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I am lucky as my wife left her village when quite young and became very independent and developed a strong will.

Now many years later, we are back in her home village and she gets the whispers from many who have lived here all their lives.

The whispers range from....other women having dreams about me.....to others wanting to borrow money because she is married to farang....and just basic jealous remarks.

My wife just laughs at all of it...but she still believes in ghosts. blink.png

I don't see what believing in ghosts has to do with thai gossiping, or how leaving her village would make her "disbelieve" in ghosts.

Why would she be the one to be wrong?

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I had the opposite problem sad.png . Everyone knew my husband was 'playing around' except me...

Nobody wanted to tell me as they feared a 'shooting the messenger' response...

Sorry to hear that f1.....when I worked up the courage to tell my best friend he metaphorically shot me, with a little bit of hung, draw and quartering as well.

I would do it again as he is now married to a delightful lady and has the most beautiful wee girl any man could hope to have.

All part of lifes rich tapestry. You never know what a high is if you haven't experienced a low.

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One of the posters on here is the whisperer....suggesting all kinds of things i think.

Tsk tsk...I would expect better decorum from a footie fan...but ya just can't trust a fan of a lower league small town outfit...whistling.giftongue.png

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I am lucky as my wife left her village when quite young and became very independent and developed a strong will.

Now many years later, we are back in her home village and she gets the whispers from many who have lived here all their lives.

The whispers range from....other women having dreams about me.....to others wanting to borrow money because she is married to farang....and just basic jealous remarks.

My wife just laughs at all of it...but she still believes in ghosts. blink.png

I don't see what believing in ghosts has to do with thai gossiping, or how leaving her village would make her "disbelieve" in ghosts.

Why would she be the one to be wrong?

Oh plllleeeeeease! Who tied your knickers in a knot.

You do not see the tongue-in-cheek....or do I have to explain it to you as if you are a six year old.

Post is about "whisperers"....I mentioned "ghosts"......"ghost whisperer"??????

And where did I mention that my wife is wrong? I don't see how you can read so much negativity into my light-hearted post.coffee1.gif

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I've never given a second thought to what people may or may not have whispered about me or my family. If I spent the day thinking about what somebody had said about me it's all wasted negative energy and that's a waste time when I should be enjoying my short time on earth..Plus think of the satisfaction the perpetrator would get in their snidey little mind knowing I was dwelling on what they said.

Although I do derive some satisfaction by knowing that, if I so chose, I could rip apart the person who was gossiping about me and their entire existence in about 10 seconds.

Edited by mca
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One of the posters on here is the whisperer....suggesting all kinds of things i think.

Tsk tsk...I would expect better decorum from a footie fan...but ya just can't trust a fan of a lower league small town outfit...whistling.giftongue.png

The only way is up... Let's hope our standards match

But getting back on topic. Who is the whisperer? Do they say

"he's behind you... in the cupboard... under the bed"

Who was that?

SC

EDIT: Is that really a pizza van parked outside?

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I am lucky as my wife left her village when quite young and became very independent and developed a strong will.

Now many years later, we are back in her home village and she gets the whispers from many who have lived here all their lives.

The whispers range from....other women having dreams about me.....to others wanting to borrow money because she is married to farang....and just basic jealous remarks.

My wife just laughs at all of it...but she still believes in ghosts. blink.png

I don't see what believing in ghosts has to do with thai gossiping, or how leaving her village would make her "disbelieve" in ghosts.

Why would she be the one to be wrong?

Oh plllleeeeeease! Who tied your knickers in a knot.

You do not see the tongue-in-cheek....or do I have to explain it to you as if you are a six year old.

Post is about "whisperers"....I mentioned "ghosts"......"ghost whisperer"??????

And where did I mention that my wife is wrong? I don't see how you can read so much negativity into my light-hearted post.coffee1.gif

easy

everything is rhetorical

your post was for me (non nes) ambiguous, sorry if I did not get the joke

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I am lucky as my wife left her village when quite young and became very independent and developed a strong will.

Now many years later, we are back in her home village and she gets the whispers from many who have lived here all their lives.

The whispers range from....other women having dreams about me.....to others wanting to borrow money because she is married to farang....and just basic jealous remarks.

My wife just laughs at all of it...but she still believes in ghosts. blink.png

I don't see what believing in ghosts has to do with thai gossiping, or how leaving her village would make her "disbelieve" in ghosts.

Why would she be the one to be wrong?

Oh plllleeeeeease! Who tied your knickers in a knot.

You do not see the tongue-in-cheek....or do I have to explain it to you as if you are a six year old.

Post is about "whisperers"....I mentioned "ghosts"......"ghost whisperer"??????

And where did I mention that my wife is wrong? I don't see how you can read so much negativity into my light-hearted post.coffee1.gif

easy

everything is rhetorical

your post was for me (non nes) ambiguous, sorry if I did not get the joke

You should remind him that we don't all have the same sense of humour

P&K

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I am lucky as my wife left her village when quite young and became very independent and developed a strong will.

Now many years later, we are back in her home village and she gets the whispers from many who have lived here all their lives.

The whispers range from....other women having dreams about me.....to others wanting to borrow money because she is married to farang....and just basic jealous remarks.

My wife just laughs at all of it...but she still believes in ghosts. blink.png

I don't see what believing in ghosts has to do with thai gossiping, or how leaving her village would make her "disbelieve" in ghosts.

Why would she be the one to be wrong?

Oh plllleeeeeease! Who tied your knickers in a knot.

You do not see the tongue-in-cheek....or do I have to explain it to you as if you are a six year old.

Post is about "whisperers"....I mentioned "ghosts"......"ghost whisperer"??????

And where did I mention that my wife is wrong? I don't see how you can read so much negativity into my light-hearted post.coffee1.gif

easy

everything is rhetorical

your post was for me (non nes) ambiguous, sorry if I did not get the joke

wai.gif

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Ok, this is getting a bit too explicit, and non-Thai related, please try to get back on topic, if you can figure out what it is. unsure.png

The blether said: "Who's the whisperer?? What are they saying?? I've been amazed at some of the things I've personally heard in Thailand.

Who's the whisperer in your life? What have you heard said to you that you could not believe?"

Are you paying attention? We were just getting to the source--"the Thai whisperer"--now we may never know.

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Once,some years ago,I was the whisperer...After entering my hotelroom,that I just booked in to,I noted that something was missing,I think it was towels,so I contacted the young lady in the reception,and she came up to my floor,but no towels.Instead she opened vacant rooms,to check if she could pick some up from any of them.I was somewhat confused by her behavior;she entered the rooms very carefully and left them very quickly,so I asked her,jokingly,and in a whispering tone:"Are there any ghosts in there"? Her reaction was absolutely stunning;she rushed out of the room,stormed down the corridor,both arms in the air,screeming like crazy.It was funny in a way,but I also felt sorry,that what was intended as a little joke made her react like that.I had to apollogise to her later.

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Sorry cdnvic, thequietman has been reading too many Mills & Boon novels.

Right the topic is, and thequietman most likely will have an opinion on this is!!......

Who's attempting to pull the strings? Interfering in your life with nonsensical, and sometimes malicious advice to your partner?

I had to go through the chaperone system when I started dating my lady, it all culminated in me having a meal with my lady, her Mum, ( her Dad has passed away ), and a family friend who is married to a farang.

Everything was going smoothly, sitting on top of the Furama Hotel in Chiang Mai, the city on one side, the lights from Doi Suthep twinkling on the other, when the family friend whispered to me, ' when are you going to buy a house for .....'

Trying not to fall off the rooftop in shock, I said, 'I've not even foxing kissed her yet and your wanting me to buy her a house?'.

My lady was staggered too, partly because she had never heard me swear before, ( she can't stand it ), and partly because she couldn't believe what the whisperer had asked me, ( maybe the whisperer had let the cat out of the bag prematurely, maybe I am getting paranoid!!).

Anyway, my answer was,' Never. So if that is a condition of dating, forget about it now '. Rapid backtracking from the whisperer then ensued.

I've dated a fair few ladies of all nationalities in my time, I've never came across that one before.

On a side note, I don't buy houses for girlfriends, I would buy a house WITH my wife. With my wife means my lady would have to share the burden of paying for the house. Maybe that's just me, maybe I'm the picky sort, or maybe I'm just being a typical Scotsman.

So who's the whisperer? What have you heard that you couldn't believe?

Ok , got it. So....................... I was a very happy person. My thai wife and I had

been dating for over 4 years, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her

beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to

check the wedding preparations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her older thai sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said,

"Follow me." And she proceeded to go upstairs.

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the

stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door and headed straight towards my pickup.

Lo and behold, my entire future thai family was standing outside all

clapping! With tears in her eyes, my thai mother-in-law to be hugged me and said, "She was very happy that I have passed her little test. She couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!" I was relieved to say the least.

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your pickup. thumbsup.gif

EXCELLENT,.Best one i've heard in a long time will be laughing on and off for days thinking about it.
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When your thai language ability improves you will find the gossiping about you also improves and every detail of your personal life will be the talk of the town. I wish I never learned how to speak Thai, It was the worst decision I ever made..

Ignorance is bliss.

I have not talked to my inlaws for 14 years.

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