Farang/Thai Relationships - The Good Ones

[aneliane]

I never said that Thai people were smelly or rude or anything along these lines.

That was an example, Aneliane. I can see how conversing with you can get a bit frustrating.

I sometimes speak of unpleasant experiences but never insulted anyone.

Honestly, I don't even think YOU believe this statement.

Of course I do

I think insulting or even make definite statements generalizing about a whole nation would be stupid.

I don't believe in it

Each country has people that are counter example.

[aneliane]

So let me get this right: I am jealous of ...you ?

And your Thai educated wife is more educated than me?

And for some reason I would like to be in her shoes with you ???

Looking at the way you write as an NES, I don't think you know much about education

you might want to have a look at Thai universities before passing comments like those

Start with their ranking (I think it's around 140 for the first one)

I have a double higher education in France and UK, I let you find their ranking

I get this type of aggressive comment from you on a regular basis, your Thai wife probably likes it, but normal people don't react positively to aggression

What if we don't have a thai lady ?

We can't be happy ?

OK so if i follow your theory, I would have to wear what 40 yo Thai women are wearing :

- Hello Kitty/Dysney clothes (shirt/sweaters) and accessories (bags/umbrellas) -apparently a big fashion hit with over 40's here even if a huge fashion faux-pas anywhere else in the western world.

- Flowery synthetic (no cotton, far too comfortable by this weather) clothes clashing, that my grandma could have worn (without the clashing)

- Plastic shoes when your feet get swollen and super sweaty in this heat

- or fake "School" looking "sensible" shoes for tired feet that even my grandma refused to wear up until she died at the ripe age of 87, but which are the cheaper thai version so not comfortable but just ugly and make you look like a 100yo.

Now the classier younger attire :

- leopard leggings, leopard skirts, and yes even leopard mini skirts for over 40's, leopard tops, scarf... well really leopard anything seems to be the real classy look for middle age women

- Drop the fake hello Kitty to go uptown for fake Chanel or Dior Tshirt/top (j'adore) accessorized obviously with a fake DG or Gucci bag

- Gold everywhere: sunglasses (asian dictator's wife style) loads of gold rings, tons of gold bracelets and chains, but also on shoes.

- Add silver to gold; considered as super rude anywhere else, here like Christmas decoration are favored all year long, looking like a Christmas Tree is considered hot.

- Plaster my face with white foundation + white powder to look as white as poss and go berserk on colors ie super bright pink lipstick black crayoned eyebrows and vivid eye shadow and end up looking like a clown

- For hair have it long, or choose between the 5 different 1970's haircuts available

// There are a lot more where these comments came from and some of them were directed at me because you clearly misunderstood my sentence. Add that up with the comment where you said you were bored of hearing about edwinclapham's wife. It's not because he talks a lot about her, it's because you can never accept a Thai woman being on the same level as you. To you, farang women are worth a lot more than Thai women.

So yeah that little remark though it sounds harmless is in fact not.

No insult in there

[maxme]

Have know the misses for 20 years, been together for 7, married for 4, have two great kids, a great relationship, have to negotiate very little.

Very happy. What more can I say?

20 years... wow , congrats man. Even though you only been together 7 years which is still a long time I think this shows that despite the differences in culture, tradition and habits that you can overcome anything just you believe in it.

Edited June 22, 2012 by maxme

[Will27]

Are you kidding me?

I have heard 4 times in the last 3 days how Edwin's wife was great

and what about "my thai wife is lovely", "my thai wife is hot" "my thai wife looks great" " my thai wife looks like Angelina Jolie" ?????

You know Aneliane, I am so sorry that you find my posts regarding my wife offensive. It is a fact that I am inordinately proud of her therefore on the correct threads I have been proud to write just that. If you find those threads nauseating then may I suggest that you flick over the page with your pretty little claws and view something that wont promote bile.

I really dont know the purpose of your presence on the forum, whether you are trolling whatever but I refuse to come down to your level of abject misery that you have imposed upon yourself.

Offensive is not the word

tedious, boring, more like it

but you are in a different case since you only use your wife to point out how much "better" she is compared to me; which I think is sick and moot since I would rather choose a chimp than you as husband

frankly I think there should be a specific "relationship with your thai spouse" sub-forum

my thai wife this my thai wife that days on and on ...

Will, read her other posts in other threads then read this then maybe you can get a grip. What are you ... in love?

And I didn't bring up about civil manners... you did.

Still avoiding the question I see.

And wrong (again), I didn't bring up manners, MCA (rightly) did so.

And for someone who claims to be so highly educated, don't you think

this "What are you... in love?" sounds a little peurile?

I just asked you a simple question which you have still refused to answer.

Regards

Will

[sbk]

@Aneliane

I figured... denial is a defense mechanism that some people turn on when it's convenient and when they think it would cover up a lost face. Don't worry you lost your face a long time ago.

Maybe you have had a change of hearts but I seriously doubt it and you won't even dig in to your own posts to re-read them so that goes without saying that you know exactly what you have done but don't want to stand for it when the moment of truth is at hand.

I pity you. Must be tough be you.

We are going to drop this personal crap RIGHT NOW. Clear???

[Ron19]

This poster we are all talking about one way or another has almost single handed destroyed another topic and is now working on this one.It looks like there is a hidden agenda behind it all.

[ajw1982]

We got married when we were both 23. Looking back it seems crazy but best decision I ever made. 7 years later, we've got two beautiful children and she's still the love of my life and keeps me on the straight and narrow!

[aneliane]

Still avoiding the question I see.

And wrong (again), I didn't bring up manners, MCA (rightly) did so.

And for someone who claims to be so highly educated, don't you think

this "What are you... in love?" sounds a little peurile?

I just asked you a simple question which you have still refused to answer.

Regards

Will

Your question about if I have a bf?

I told you that's personal

I'm not going to answer that.

For the rest there is absolute no insult whatsoever in those lines, and if there was it is the second time they are on here, don't you think moderation would have deleted them ?

So please drop it it's embarassing

[mca]

[

If you cannot see where she insulted edwinclapham, I suggest you try to re-read some of the posts before spitting out conjecture.

Civil manner follows the same rule as respect. To be handed out mutually.

I'm referring to your reply to will27 not analeine.

[aneliane]

Still avoiding the question I see.

And wrong (again), I didn't bring up manners, MCA (rightly) did so.

And for someone who claims to be so highly educated, don't you think

this "What are you... in love?" sounds a little peurile?

I just asked you a simple question which you have still refused to answer.

Regards

Will

Your question about if I have a bf?

I told you that's personal

I'm not going to answer that.

For the rest there is absolute no insult whatsoever in those lines, and if there was it is the second time they are on here, don't you think moderation would have deleted them ?

So please drop it it's embarassing

Sorry obviously this was not directed to you

oops sent it to the wrong person

Apologies

[maxme]

We got married when we were both 23. Looking back it seems crazy but best decision I ever made. 7 years later, we've got two beautiful children and she's still the love of my life and keeps me on the straight and narrow!

I'm curios... when did you decide to move to Thailand? Coz I was about 23 when I got here first time.

[ajw1982]

We got married when we were both 23. Looking back it seems crazy but best decision I ever made. 7 years later, we've got two beautiful children and she's still the love of my life and keeps me on the straight and narrow!

I'm curios... when did you decide to move to Thailand? Coz I was about 23 when I got here first time.

In summary... went travelling round India and SE Asia after uni, ended up in Thailand, didn't want to leave and get a job back in the "real world", tried to make a go of it in Thailand and realised it wasn't that easy... now firmly entrenched back in the "real world" but ready for attempt number 2 within the next few years now I've got a little more experience and cash behind me!

[maxme]

We got married when we were both 23. Looking back it seems crazy but best decision I ever made. 7 years later, we've got two beautiful children and she's still the love of my life and keeps me on the straight and narrow!

I'm curios... when did you decide to move to Thailand? Coz I was about 23 when I got here first time.

In summary... went travelling round India and SE Asia after uni, ended up in Thailand, didn't want to leave and get a job back in the "real world", tried to make a go of it in Thailand and realised it wasn't that easy... now firmly entrenched back in the "real world" but ready for attempt number 2 within the next few years now I've got a little more experience and cash behind me!

Actually my initial plan was to travel around but it ended with a job offer which I couldn't refuse. I went back after a year though but something got me drawn from the life I was living back in the west. So after some consideration and planning I moved back here.

I've seen a lot of people go on impulse and I wouldn't recommend it, it could end very bady for you and your family. The best course of action would be to do some preliminary recon of the places you wanna settle in and for the love of god, do have a backup plan incase things go sour. There is nothing worse than not having a plan to fall back on.

[ajw1982]

We got married when we were both 23. Looking back it seems crazy but best decision I ever made. 7 years later, we've got two beautiful children and she's still the love of my life and keeps me on the straight and narrow!

I'm curios... when did you decide to move to Thailand? Coz I was about 23 when I got here first time.

In summary... went travelling round India and SE Asia after uni, ended up in Thailand, didn't want to leave and get a job back in the "real world", tried to make a go of it in Thailand and realised it wasn't that easy... now firmly entrenched back in the "real world" but ready for attempt number 2 within the next few years now I've got a little more experience and cash behind me!

Actually my initial plan was to travel around but it ended with a job offer which I couldn't refuse. I went back after a year though but something got me drawn from the life I was living back in the west. So after some consideration and planning I moved back here.

I've seen a lot of people go on impulse and I wouldn't recommend it, it could end very bady for you and your family. The best course of action would be to do some preliminary recon of the places you wanna settle in and for the love of god, do have a backup plan incase things go sour. There is nothing worse than not having a plan to fall back on.

Thanks. Completely agree. It's a long term thing (actually started another thread about recommendations on places to live, international schools etc.). It won't be for about 3 - 5 years when I've sold my business and have the funds and plan in place. Starting well in advance right down to getting my Thai fully up to speed! Back up plan = a property and some business interests here in the UK I take it that it's all worked out well for you so far?

[maxme]

@ajw1982

Well I was bit of a nomad after I first got here but now the plan is to settle in the capital. So I would say yes... There are bound to be some bumps along the road but we eventually got to where we wanted to go. It's about finding the right place and by that I mean what suits best for you... the city, the countryside or near the sea and to be honest at first glance there don't seem be a lot of choices but once you have traveled around a bit, you will see that there is more than meets the eye.

[ajw1982]

@ajw1982

Well I was bit of a nomad after I first got here but now the plan is to settle in the capital. So I would say yes... There are bound to be some bumps along the road but we eventually got to where we wanted to go. It's about finding the right place and by that I mean what suits best for you... the city, the countryside or near the sea and to be honest at first glance there don't seem be a lot of choices but once you have traveled around a bit, you will see that there is more than meets the eye.

Thanks. Not expecting it to be easy, but hopefully exciting and will work out in the end! Hope life in Bangkok treats you well!

[BigJohnnyBKK]

that's personal

yes they do

particles in diesel cars fumes damage your blood flow and clot your blood therefore your feet are swollen and your brain can't function properly and you get dementia

Aneliane dear, you know I'm usually supportive of your efforts, but posts like this lead me to question. . .

Again, please just ignore the negative and the personal and the negatively personal, and try stick to discussing the substantive questions in the topic at hand. Personal back-and-forth is infinitely more harmful to the discussion and boring than someone going on about how lovely their wife is.

Please?

And don't say you can't help yourself, you can! Otherwise we might think you just enjoy that sort of discussion as much as the trolls enjoy stirring you up to get a reaction. . .

[PaullyW]

In a place like Thailand, a man's world (if you know the expression), how can men be so happy with one woman? That really baffles me. For every hot, sexy, nice Thai women, there is another one and another and another ad infinitum (to infinity).

I could only marry and be happy with one Thai woman if I moved with her out of Thailand. If staying in Thailand, however, no way!! There is just too much pussy cat here. It will drive you mad being with one woman.

[oli123]

In a place like Thailand, a man's world (if you know the expression), how can men be so happy with one woman? That really baffles me. For every hot, sexy, nice Thai women, there is another one and another and another ad infinitum (to infinity).

I could only marry and be happy with one Thai woman if I moved with her out of Thailand. If staying in Thailand, however, no way!! There is just too much pussy cat here. It will drive you mad being with one woman.

]

But multiple women are a scrifice worth making somtimes. My lady insists on cooking and cleaning for me, sex is great, no fiancial arrangement. She already owns a house that I stay in free. Good comunication, have a lot of fun together (non sexual) etc

[Stevepiraq]

I have been married to a Thai woman for over five years and things are good now. In the earlier days we had many issues, the cultural side is obviously a big challenge but this can be over come with some give and take. Unfortunatley for most Farang including myself coping with village life is almost impossible; yes some manage bot not so many. Our biggest problem in the early days was other Thai women, no not chasing me but gossiping, so many like to tell stories and lies seemingly with the intent of destroying relationships. It is almost as if they want to see all the drama, crying and fighting as in the Thai TV soaps.

Of course some of the Farang men were also a problem, some seem to think that any woman, married or not is open to chase.

We have now changed our lives mainly by getting rid of some of our "friends" and amazingly life is now peacful.

My advice, give it a chance, take things slow and pick your friend both male and female very carefully.

[a10ams]

Met her in a pub eight years ago while passing through Thailand. Luckily travelling to and from work from UK to Australia every month meant I could stopover frequently. After a year it got serious so we got engaged.

Just over five years ago we got married. Not an ounce of grief during those eight years.

Living the dream.

[tink2mutt]

In a place like Thailand, a man's world (if you know the expression), how can men be so happy with one woman? That really baffles me. For every hot, sexy, nice Thai women, there is another one and another and another ad infinitum (to infinity).

I could only marry and be happy with one Thai woman if I moved with her out of Thailand. If staying in Thailand, however, no way!! There is just too much pussy cat here. It will drive you mad being with one woman.

I think it's like the guy who eats out at fancy restuarants every night.

After a while all he craves is a home cooked meal.

Same with ladies - you tire of the variety and just want one special person.

But if you are a young guy - it will take a while!!

[vicram]

That is the first time I post in the Thaivisa forum after two years that I am a reader..

I am also a happy farang husband married with a Thai wife twenty year younger than me, now 66 y.o.. I met her through Thai Love Link and after two days of chatting with her I realized that she had to be my wife and so I told her. Of course, she did not believe me but here we are and very happy both of us.

She was a widow with one son (20 y.o.) and one daughter (16 y.o.), not willing to relocate and speaking english (this last very important, under my point of view for a good, understandfing). She was working (struggling??) 6/13 to rise her children and despite her strangled situation never she asked me for money.

She is a great and beautiful woman and I feel very proud of her: the way she is , the way she behave, the way she loves me....summarizing and in short, I love her !!!!!!!!!!

Since I married her our home has become a common place for the women of the surroundings that come to ask my wife how she got a farang husband and where they can get one!!!!. Not only singles but all kind of women: divorced, separeted, widow and even married,. Every one with her own story but no one wanting to marry or remarry a Thai man. According with what my wife explained to me, if I was a Thay man I will feel very ashamed, abashed and embarrased about what these women think about their Thai fellows.

Yes it is true that there are some Thai women looking for money or papers and they don't care to cheat the farangs promising them timeless love but there are also many farangs that they cheat Thai women pledging them papers and money to have free sex vacations. I have been witness of some friend Thai women that had met a farang through internet and after coming here to spend two weeks with her, in order to know ( in the full extension of the word) each other better, they have fled away and never again she got news from him.

Good people and bad people there are everywhere. Be wise!!!!

[edwinclapham]

vicram

a great story, welcome to Thai Visa and long may your happiness continue.

[transam]

My mrs went down south to take care of a niece that is having her second baby. The niece mother is a drunk and doesn't want to know .

Mrs been there for six days. Called me yesterday for a chat, she said,

'' I must go now cos l have tear in eye cos we not together '', and she was crying, but happily she will be back tomorrow, job done.

[dezy1801]

I've been with my partner 8 years now and we get along very well, now stay up country after 6 years in the City and get along even better which for me is a good thing. I guess I have been lucky in meeting my Mrs.

Most of the bad ending relationships I've heard about is from a Farang losing eveything due his Mrs running off with a Thai man but you never get the full story as to why she might have done so as some Farangs tend to think its okay for them to go short time or have a mia noi and even more stupid to think that there Mrs will not know or find out.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

I think it's like the guy who eats out at fancy restuarants every night.

After a while all he craves is a home cooked meal.

Same with ladies - you tire of the variety and just want one special person.

But if you are a young guy - it will take a while!!

But as with most people and restaurants, it's entirely normal to want both, and the nice thing is in the LoS, "can!"

[thaibeachlovers]

I think the significant sentence is < I have not bought any land/houses/condos etc..>

That's the only way to be sure that it's YOU she wants and not the money/ property.

I've been with my Thai wife 1 year and a year before getting married. We have our "moments", but mostly good.

[thaibeachlovers]

In a place like Thailand, a man's world (if you know the expression), how can men be so happy with one woman? That really baffles me. For every hot, sexy, nice Thai women, there is another one and another and another ad infinitum (to infinity).

I could only marry and be happy with one Thai woman if I moved with her out of Thailand. If staying in Thailand, however, no way!! There is just too much pussy cat here. It will drive you mad being with one woman.

You are obviously not yet ready to marry. When you are, you won't have a problem being with one woman.

The problem with moving them out of Thailand is that they become just like western women, and I wouldn't marry one of them, so reluctant to take my wife "home" is I can avoid it.

[thaibeachlovers]

I have been married to a Thai woman for over five years and things are good now. In the earlier days we had many issues, the cultural side is obviously a big challenge but this can be over come with some give and take. Unfortunatley for most Farang including myself coping with village life is almost impossible; yes some manage bot not so many. Our biggest problem in the early days was other Thai women, no not chasing me but gossiping, so many like to tell stories and lies seemingly with the intent of destroying relationships. It is almost as if they want to see all the drama, crying and fighting as in the Thai TV soaps.

Of course some of the Farang men were also a problem, some seem to think that any woman, married or not is open to chase.

We have now changed our lives mainly by getting rid of some of our "friends" and amazingly life is now peacful.

My advice, give it a chance, take things slow and pick your friend both male and female very carefully.

Similar story to mine. When we first got together, her "friends" always telling her that they saw me with other women. It was only when I was able to prove that I had been in the internet cafe when she was told I was with another women that she realised her "friends" were lying to her. They also were always trying to get her to buy them drinks because she was with a "rich farang".

I didn't have a problem with the village per se, but her idle nephews that lived in the same house drove me to such anger that we had to leave before things became too bad.

Her family still annoy me so much, that whenever they visit, we know that we will have a fight about them. A difficult problem with no obvious solution, other than me absenting myself elsewhere for the duration of their visit.