Computing

[A. BOOZER]

CUSTOMER SERVICE

This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard

of in a long time. I think this guy should have

been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from

the "WordPerfect Helpline" which was transcribed

from a recording monitoring the customer care

department.

Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was

fired however, he is currently suing the

WordPerfect organization for "Termination without

Cause."

"Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden

the words went away"

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I

type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get

out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the

screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept

anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks

like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you

when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and

find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see

that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me

if it's plugged into the wall."

"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice

that there were two cables plugged into the back

of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there

again and find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged

securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something

and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right

angle it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes - the office light is off, and the only

light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power failure."

"A power.......a power failure?.... Aha, Okay,

we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes

and manuals and packing stuff your computer came

in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and

pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then

take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell

them?"

"Tell them you're too @#$%^& stupid to own a

computer"