Problem With Neighbor

[expat63]

I was looking around for a forum for where to put this tread, but didn't find anything so i put it in "general". Maybe it can be an idea to make something like "Living in Thailand", anyway here is my story.

We bought a duk tau (ตึกแถว) two of years ago. This building is facing the main road and it’s quite noisy. It is 10 apartments in this row.

Most of our neighbors we consider as our friends, but one close to us we have problem with.

They rent the house and running a satellite/aircon shop. The owner of the shop is living another place, but some of his workers stay there.

Recently a young man (20 something) moved in. After a while he starts playing some terrible music early morning (6-7 o’clock). It sounds like someone was hammering with a sledgehammer on the wall.

I went down and ask him politely if he can turn down the music (bau bau krap). He turns it down but same shit next morning. I went down again, not quite so polite this time and bau bau; greng jai, but waste of time.

I talk to my wife about this (she leave the house 6 o’clock for work). I ask her if she could speak with the owner.

I know my limitation and know that Thais speak “better” together.

She spoke with the owner and he promise to take care of it. This is about a week ago.

Yesterday same shit…… I called my wife and told her that she had to speak with the owner again. If she don’t, I will (she know that I am not the most patient man in the world). I really felt bad about calling her and almost threaten here. My wife is very careful and hates to blame/confront other people.

I feel I have tried everything. Nice way, not so nice and the angry way.

It seems like they don’t care. This boy have probably grown up in the jungle some place and never learn to behave.

Someone have any idea how to handle this situation

[meatboy]

you need a realality check,6/7am is not early,you will do well to leave it or you might end up having more on you plate than some early morning music,ask him if he has any val doonican songs,you should have learnt by know dont mess with the thai's,we are in their country.t.i.t.

[Payboy]

You can blast right back at him with some Mozart and see how he likes it then.

Edited July 11, 2012 by Payboy

[saengsureeya]

The boy is a sad example of the lo-so attitude that a lot of people have.

Luckily, the number of those people is de-creasing, but it will take some time.

Lo-so in this context means: the unawareness of people around them and the un-meant ignorant behavior in residential areas and traffic.

[thenervoussurgeon]

you need a realality check,6/7am is not early,you will do well to leave it or you might end up having more on you plate than some early morning music,ask him if he has any val doonican songs,you should have learnt by know dont mess with the thai's,we are in their country.t.i.t.

If he did it to me ,i have lots of Thai friends as well and i bet they are far nastier if they want to be than his friends.

[expat63]

you need a realality check,6/7am is not early,you will do well to leave it or you might end up having more on you plate than some early morning music,ask him if he has any val doonican songs,you should have learnt by know dont mess with the thai's,we are in their country.t.i.t.

Sorry, but I have to laught. Sure I know we are in their country, but that means we don't have to accept everything.

[robblok]

you need a realality check,6/7am is not early,you will do well to leave it or you might end up having more on you plate than some early morning music,ask him if he has any val doonican songs,you should have learnt by know dont mess with the thai's,we are in their country.t.i.t.

Im pretty sure if i turn on my music at 6/7 am my neighbours would consider it early. I usually start my music at 8 or so for a morning workout. Making sure its not to loud.

[expat63]

I normaly dont have any problems with music, but I really have with this one when you only get the bass drum true the wall.

[submaniac]

There is a universal rule that I like to adhere to, and it applies in Thailand, USA, UK, Madagascar, Pakistan, or anywhere--> Try not to get into fights with your neighbors because you have to live there. I know it's annoying, but for goodness sake don't lose your cool about it or otherwise you may have to find another place to live. It's not about being right, it's about coming home without having to worry about getting into a war with someone.

Let your wife deal with it. It seems that she is not as angry as you are about it. Not to say you shouldn't be angry, but being angry will not help your situation. Just have her keep on talking to the owner. Complaint POLITELY in the morning as you have been doing, and keep doing it until the message sinks in. Do not escalate the situation because there is not a situation with a possibility of a "win" scenario.

[expat63]

There is a universal rule that I like to adhere to, and it applies in Thailand, USA, UK, Madagascar, Pakistan, or anywhere--> Try not to get into fights with your neighbors because you have to live there. I know it's annoying, but for goodness sake don't lose your cool about it or otherwise you may have to find another place to live. It's not about being right, it's about coming home without having to worry about getting into a war with someone.

Let your wife deal with it. It seems that she is not as angry as you are about it. Not to say you shouldn't be angry, but being angry will not help your situation. Just have her keep on talking to the owner. Complaint POLITELY in the morning as you have been doing, and keep doing it until the message sinks in. Do not escalate the situation because there is not a situation with a possibility of a "win" scenario.

You have probably right. We are leaving the country soon anyway. Will keep the house then

[Thaddeus]

Ask the owner if he knows how much his electricity bill increases by running a large sound system at full tilt for a few hours every day.

[expat63]

Ask the owner if he knows how much his electricity bill increases by running a large sound system at full tilt for a few hours every day.

That is actually a very good idea. He is mr. saving, so this may be the solution

[silsburyhill]

quote name='submaniac' timestamp='1341978942' post='5473493']

There is a universal rule that I like to adhere to, and it applies in Thailand, USA, UK, Madagascar, Pakistan, or anywhere--> Try not to get into fights with your neighbors because you have to live there. I know it's annoying, but for goodness sake don't lose your cool about it or otherwise you may have to find another place to live. It's not about being right, it's about coming home without having to worry about getting into a war with someone.

Let your wife deal with it. It seems that she is not as angry as you are about it. Not to say you shouldn't be angry, but being angry will not help your situation. Just have her keep on talking to the owner. Complaint POLITELY in the morning as you have been doing, and keep doing it until the message sinks in. Do not escalate the situation because there is not a situation with a possibility of a "win" scenario.

WRONG. I understand you're a leuk krung and all that? And you seem like a nice guy, but seriously, anyone of any nationality deserves a little consideration, if not respect. Yes, even here.

I had a similar situation many years ago and my Thai partner was more pissed off than even I, humble farang though I am. Grovel.

Upshot was, neighbour moved.

I do wish people would stop bending over here.

Edited July 11, 2012 by silsburyhill

[hotandhumid]

you need a realality check,6/7am is not early,you will do well to leave it or you might end up having more on you plate than some early morning music,ask him if he has any val doonican songs,you should have learnt by know dont mess with the thai's,we are in their country.t.i.t.

If he did it to me ,i have lots of Thai friends as well and i bet they are far nastier if they want to be than his friends.

i say that my 'thai friends' are even nastier...dam_n it, I know they are...REAL NASTY!

[davey26]

Had the same problem with my neighbours recently. They were strict catholics ( nothing wrong with that) and nice people i may add. But their extra loud gospel music so early in the morning, (5am) and late at night (11pm), eventually got to me.

We have a very loud entertainment system, but we respect all our neighbours and keep the volume to a reasonable level.

So my wife and i politely asked them on more than 3 occasions, to lower the volume as it was disturbing our sleep. We were not rude in our approach, and feeling good about the way things went.

Seemingly, the problem was solved. But after a bit of downtime, it started again. I had enough.

Time to get serious. Some Rage Against the Machine seemed to do the trick.....plus a bit of extra loud loving with the wife, i think was the sealer. They moved out within the month!!

[submaniac]

WRONG. I understand you're a leuk krung and all that? And you seem like a nice guy, but seriously, anyone of any nationality deserves a little consideration, if not respect. Yes, even here.

I had a similar situation many years ago and my Thai partner was more pissed off than even I, humble farang though I am. Grovel.

Upshot was, neighbour moved.

I do wish people would stop bending over here.

Well, when I was younger I thought like that. And I have gotten into it with my neighbors in the past...and I have generally regretted it.

It's not about a "Thai cultural thing" and it's not about showing who is boss. It's about being able to go to your own home and be peaceful. Like not worrying what the neighbor is going to do in retalation to what you did, or having uncomfortable moments being in the presence of someone you are at odds with. If it's your neighbors, you see them alot. That's a fact. Try to work it out peaceably.

Maybe your neighbor will move. Maybe the neighbor will wait with a baseball bat in a dark alley for you to come home. Thais can be a wee bit unpredictable in that regards. In any event, even not in Thailand, I try and resolve things with my neighbors whenever possible.

And P.S. I am not a nice guy. I clearly have "Jerk" under my membership to advise those around me that, yes,I am a jerk (except when dealing with my neighbors because I have to live with them.)

[Kwasaki]

quote name='submaniac' timestamp='1341978942' post='5473493']

There is a universal rule that I like to adhere to, and it applies in Thailand, USA, UK, Madagascar, Pakistan, or anywhere--> Try not to get into fights with your neighbors because you have to live there. I know it's annoying, but for goodness sake don't lose your cool about it or otherwise you may have to find another place to live. It's not about being right, it's about coming home without having to worry about getting into a war with someone.

Let your wife deal with it. It seems that she is not as angry as you are about it. Not to say you shouldn't be angry, but being angry will not help your situation. Just have her keep on talking to the owner. Complaint POLITELY in the morning as you have been doing, and keep doing it until the message sinks in. Do not escalate the situation because there is not a situation with a possibility of a "win" scenario.

WRONG. I understand you're a leuk krung and all that? And you seem like a nice guy, but seriously, anyone of any nationality deserves a little consideration, if not respect. Yes, even here.

I had a similar situation many years ago and my Thai partner was more pissed off than even I, humble farang though I am. Grovel.

Upshot was, neighbour moved.

I do wish people would stop bending over here.

Noooooo !! not a case of bending over 'submaniac' is right, you have just shot yourself in the foot, you said " my Thai partner was more pissed off than even I " that's what subby said leave it to your partner, this guys partner is not affected by it. .

[Beetlejuice]

you need a realality check,6/7am is not early,you will do well to leave it or you might end up having more on you plate than some early morning music,ask him if he has any val doonican songs,you should have learnt by know dont mess with the thai's,we are in their country.t.i.t.

Absolutely agree.

Down my way most of the locals go to bed around 8.00pm and wake up at 6.00am. According to them, everyone does the same and making some noise in the early morning should be no problem. So get used to it.

Plus like too many here, I would guess that the OP is a shadow owner of the property (his money, wife`s name) which means under the law he has no rights over the home or the neighbors.

Best to leave it alone, because if his dispute with the neighbor escalates, the last thing the OP needs is the police making inquiries about him and better to keep a low profile.

[HeavyDrinker]

Blimey!

The old we're guests so have to eat <deleted> "argument" is being rolled out already!

Next time I have guests round in that case, I'm going to wake them up at 5 am by blasting Atomkraft through their window, then snigger about them in front of their faces with the wife before running them over with their own car because it's my house...

It's a lame debating point for those who don't really understand Thailand, and really is a record that needs changing...

To the OP here's what you do.

You go around to the guy's house with a bottle of whiskey and a bit of grub and introduce yourself. During the next hour or so while you're having a convivial evening you drop the following sentence into the conversation:

"Oh, one thing my friend, do you think you could hold off on the music at 6am. I have trouble sleeping at nights sometime etc"

Problem solved, my bill is in the post.

Edited July 11, 2012 by HeavyDrinker

[expat63]

Plus like too many here, I would guess that the OP is a shadow owner of the property (his money, wife`s name) which means under the law he has no rights over the home or the neighbors.

Wrong. My wife earn enought to pay for her self. Actually she bought it, but I paid out half of it. She still ovn the land, but i own 2/3 of the house. Contract settle by a lawyer.

Not every Thai girl grow up in Isaan you know

[lazygourmet]

Every morning around 6am, my nearest neighbor is playing some really koool jazz tunes...

Waking me up and coming smoothly to my ears, mixed with the bird songs from our respective gardens: that makes my day, everyday!

[dave111223]

As I understand it the boy playing the music is an employee of the building owner (not a family member?)

If so I would just continue to ask the owner about the problem daily, the boy will probably be finding a new job soon. If one of my employees was pulling that sh*t and causing me hassle they'd certainly be out on their ear. Sounds like this kind of employee would probably get fired on his own accord pretty soon for drinking, stealing, drug use etc...anyways.

Remember the employee is the problem, not the owner, getting irate at the owner will not help your cause.

If the boy is actually a family member or something...then you're dealing with a much bigger problem.

[expat63]

As I understand it the boy playing the music is an employee of the building owner (not a family member?)

If so I would just continue to ask the owner about the problem daily, the boy will probably be finding a new job soon. If one of my employees was pulling that sh*t and causing me hassle they'd certainly be out on their ear. Sounds like this kind of employee would probably get fired on his own accord pretty soon for drinking, stealing, drug use etc...anyways.

Remember the employee is the problem, not the owner, getting irate at the owner will not help your cause.

If the boy is actually a family member or something...then you're dealing with a much bigger problem.

I am afraid he is a familymember of owners wife

[dave111223]

I am afraid he is a familymember of owners wife

Uh oh then, sound proofing time?

Edited July 11, 2012 by dave111223

[expat63]

I am afraid he is a familymember of owners wife

Uh oh then, sound proofing time?

Hehe. We will find a solution, but sound proofing. I dont think so. We still have the house owner and town leader.

It looks like a junkyard outside their shop and if this shit not stop, I will make it difficult for them. I give a shit if I am guest in this country or not.

[mca]

Not every Thai girl grow up in Isaan you know

And not every Isaan female is a conniving ex-hooker without a pot to piss in you dolt.

Edited July 11, 2012 by mca

[Morakot]

[...]

Down my way most of the locals go to bed around 8.00pm and wake up at 6.00am. According to them, everyone does the same and making some noise in the early morning should be no problem. So get used to it.

[...]

Do you mind me asking, if you live in a rural area? Some people are not even back home at 8pm from the office in cities.

Edited July 11, 2012 by Morakot

[expat63]

Not every Thai girl grow up in Isaan you know

And not every Isaan female is a conniving ex-hooker without a pot to piss in you dolt.

Where do I mention ex-hookers

[expat63]

[...]

Down my way most of the locals go to bed around 8.00pm and wake up at 6.00am. According to them, everyone does the same and making some noise in the early morning should be no problem. So get used to it.

[...]

Do you mind me asking, if you live in a rural area? Some people are not even back home at 8pm from the office in cities.

No. My wife have a managing pos in a Australian gold mine. We live in a small town in Phichit district

[Morakot]

[...]

Down my way most of the locals go to bed around 8.00pm and wake up at 6.00am. According to them, everyone does the same and making some noise in the early morning should be no problem. So get used to it.

[...]

Do you mind me asking, if you live in a rural area? Some people are not even back home at 8pm from the office in cities.

No. My wife have a managing pos in a Australian gold mine. We live in a small town in Phichit district

In Bangkok, I would say making too much noise around 6 or 7am would not be normal. Not everybody leaves their house before 6am.