Western Women

[meom]

This thread has attracted the lot:

CONDESCENDING:

Pity we can't have this discussion in the office so you could get us all a cup of coffee while we wrap things up

(funny, but patronising. )

Condescending

Maybe although I was more taking a calculated guess at any motherly feelings the OP might have which so far in the discussion were depressed by reasoning.

Considering OP's reply the gamble paid of cause she not only accepted the nurturing role but took it to her advantage by suggesting beer instead of coffee thereby showing her independance and willingness to party with the boys as an equal.

[Jersey_UK]

So perhaps some won't agree but I def think you are spot on with your view there

Caledonia (and I guess to a degree Glauka)

One of the things I enjoy about the internet is that folk can say what they think and are not prejudged by appearance.

One of the ironies is that if we met each other in Thailand (don't worry it is NOT a suggestion!) that our opinions of each other would probably be clouded by appearance - I have never been a big

fan of "labels" but if someone saw me in Thailand (with or without the Missus or a BG or 2 in tow) and said "Yet another drunken Farang whoremonger" they would not be entirely incorrect and would no doubt treat me / react to me accordingly. For my part I would ASSUME that from a Farang woman I would be getting this reaction and would no doubt pre-empt her with my reaction accordingly - unless that is you were also sitting in a Nightlife Bar and just wanted to know what the craic was (pun intended )

The fact that this may be at least partly true (and perhaps used to be entirely true to some degree ) does not intrinsically make someone not have valid and / or considered opinions - or does not also have a more "normal" / respectable life with the values that go with it. It just means you KNOW more about me than other fellas you have not seen staggering around lower Sukhumvit. or has turned up somewhere "respectable" with a posse of BG's in tow...........what "respectable" woman (Thai or Farang!) in their right mind would ever beleive I was NOT "XXXXX" them...........but the "Jersey_UK" evenings out for NO real reason DO happen......usually after a few beers.

I guess what I am saying (in my usual long winded way) not neccesarily to both of YOU, is that even in Thailand folk can learn a lot from not going purely on appearances / preconceptions (I include myself here!) - it ain't a black and white world. Folk are often more than one thing - it is not case of Farang Women good or bad..........or "whoremongers" good or bad (although perhaps this is not quite so easily argued! and is for another thread / board )

I guess I am well off topic here - but bearing in mind how this thread has gone since my last visit, I do not feel too guilty.

[khall64au]

I'd like to throw a few satangs in here... I don't judge guys with bar girls, but I wonder! Who are they? What is their history? Who did they love before? Why are they here? What kind of life do they lead normally? Are they lonely?

I believe everyone needs a little a loving but, I sometimes feel sorry for the possible outcomes of these liaisons. I see many different types of guys with girls in tow and they all have their own stories. I wonder about the stories mostly, the never-ending stories !

Each to their own... we are all sub-editors of our own destinies, after all! Do men think the same way about women, I wonder?

[caledonia]

For my part I would ASSUME that from a Farang woman I would be getting this reaction and would no doubt pre-empt her with my reaction accordingly - unless that is you were also sitting in a Nightlife Bar and just wanted to know what the craic was (pun intended )

Well as they say to assume makes an ass out of u and me!

Odds are I would def be sat in the same bar sampling some classy 100 baht cocktails - I am Scottish after all lol!!

No seroiously though I really have no issue with anyone and what they want to do. If someone wants to get drunk and fall about over BG's - big deal. I was no angel in Thailand and I hung out with the bar girls lol!!! They used to practice their English on me and my pal - was great. We would go clubbing together then when one of their 'sponsors' turned up we would make a sharp exit. In fact normally they would insits on paying for everything for us too - and they sure were not getting anything in return from us. So that certainly confronted my own steroptypes - I have since learnt is it better to live without them!!

I think most women's issue is the guys that have a go at farang women like they have came to Thailand and found 'better' women - no they ain't better they are just different!!

[Glauka]

Hi Alexlah

All the presumed bashing of Western women or Western men, I do not get it and I do not really see it frequently here.

Sometimes we don´t realise about things that do not affect us

As for finding your soulmate, forget it. There are more then 5 billion people on this planet so you would have to interview/date each and everyone of them.

For me is the other way around, if i find a man who I can be myself and we respect and are honest to each other he becomes my soul mate. I don´t think there is one soul mate for each people...there are MANY!!! but you just decided to spend your life with one of them...The first one to meet you...

Yes you can find a person you can go along with well.

It could be physical or something else you fall in love with.

That´s love for me...

The problem with Western and Western relation is that both want to be independed (most).

So you develop together but seperate.

You have your own goals in life and so your partner has (work for example).

You become so independend that you might ask yourself: for what do I need a partner.

Why you need a partner? Well long ago I had a "need love relationship" and it was not good for me...actually it really hurt me...but I am not going into details now...From that experience i realised that I don´t want to need anyone anymore...I want to love, share,support...This relationship showed me that no-one is indispensable...bearing that in my you stay in the relationship for your own choice

Both are so busy with their own life that the other becomes sort of friend who you live with.

And then what you do when you or both realise that?

That is the problem, after some time you do not need or are atracted to the other anymore. Physical attraction could fade and all of the other things also slowly fade away.

Things just get kind of normal.

that´s why you have to fight for your relationship every day...

Thai girl might think: OK I have BF or husband, he have job so he can take care me and my family.

I just have to take care him.

Western girl might think: Ok we have come to and end here. There is no passion and lust anymore let 's move on.

Well do you think that people who are in a more traditional marriage love each other stronger? Have you never seen a traditional marriage that after some years they have nothing to say to each other...there is just routine...everything become kind of normal...

Attraction and other things will fade away in both cases in more traditional marriages and in more modern ones...is depend on the people to keep on going...

Even though i am independent and i want to have a career and other things don´t mean that i do not care for my partner...

I spent 4 years with my boyfriend living together and even though I wasn´t a house wife a liked to keep the house nicely, i liked to get home and prepare supper together or sometimes he will cook for me or sometimes i will cook for him...I liked to go out with him,etc...we were a couple...

I am not the sort of person who thinks you have to clean the house because as men and women we are equal...

I am more like...if you see that at some point of life your partner is busier than you...you just take the role of housewife...to help your partner with his/her dreams achievement...

My last month in Scotland it was quite relax i had not job...I lived with my sister and her boyfriend...well without them telling me I used to do all the housework...they were busy so I just try to help them...at the same time when I was busy with my university, my job...they were in charge of the housework they have more time...

Today you do something for me and tomorrow i´ll do it for you...

Is the same in a relationship...

After for years with my boyfriend we built up something that you can´t have with everybody...to have a everyday relationship is something special...you know each other worries, fears, dreams...all these trustness has grown day by day....if you have a beautiful relationship with someone why you want to find someone else to have exactly the same? friendship are the grounds of love...

HOwever sometimes things happen and the relationship is broken...many things are involved in the breaking up...

I always feel sorry when a relationship is broken...I always think come on you can give it another go...

Edited January 16, 2006 by Glauka

[thaibebop]

Since few weeks ago I have come across to some post against Western women attitude, look, lifestyle....

Well I have been brought in a western family, my parents education was based on trying to achive my little dreams, be honest, speak out what i think, fight about matters which find unfair, respect and so on...

It seems that to know what we want, to try to achieve our little dreams, wanting to be independent from our partners, speak out when we think something is not fair make us less desirable to some western men who have found that a more docile woman is what they want. Fair enough...But why this bashing against us...

Well most of you have had bad past experience with western woman...but why the personal experience of some of you have to do with the rest of us? Was she like a devil and were you a little angel, blameless in the break up of the relationship? Have you never behave like a complete idiot and did things which you knew were not right? Well I had bad sentimental experience with westerners men but I am not going to bash you or critize you...

one ot the thai posters said that he will never critize thai girls...why do you critize us? Why do you show with your words an image of us that in my case is far from the truth?

Why so many comparison between Western and Thai female? Do you know us all as to speak so general about certain group within the population?

One of the posters refers to one of my comments as to be a Feminist police...if you ever meet me you will discover that i am far from that...but i can tell you that if a i think that something is not fair under my point of view i am going to tell you what I think...

Some men have state that thai girls are more feminine...again I consider myself and most of my friends quite femenine...

Well I am not a bricklayer Kind of woman but I will lay a brick if is need to be done, I am not a wife-mother for my partner but will try to support my partner when he needs to, i am not in need to be save but i like to find protection, i can live independently but i want to find someone to love...so what am I?

I AM A WOMAN and some of you should try to find out before call us all those horribles adjectives and describing us a some kind of horrible creature....

Simple answer, regardless of age or weight these men are selfish, petty little boys. Or maybe it's mutli-tasking evny. I have notice with men that multi-tasking seems to be a problem and it's only one thing at a time, so maybe that thought goes into defining people's roles in soceity.

[tavarich]

Beating a dead horse

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In American English, "beating a dead horse" is an idiom which is most often used as a retort used to make clear that a particular request or line of conversation is already foreclosed, mooted, or otherwise resolved. In Australian English and British English, the phrase is more usually rendered as "flogging a dead horse".

The linguistic roots of this phrase draw on an allusion to literally "whipping" or "beating" a deceased horse in order to make it get up and go. Such efforts, of course, would be utterly fruitless, as dead horses no longer move under their own power.

Likewise, when one is "beating a dead horse", one is flailing at a dead or useless idea.

[Glauka]

Beating a dead horse

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search

In American English, "beating a dead horse" is an idiom which is most often used as a retort used to make clear that a particular request or line of conversation is already foreclosed, mooted, or otherwise resolved. In Australian English and British English, the phrase is more usually rendered as "flogging a dead horse".

The linguistic roots of this phrase draw on an allusion to literally "whipping" or "beating" a deceased horse in order to make it get up and go. Such efforts, of course, would be utterly fruitless, as dead horses no longer move under their own power.

Likewise, when one is "beating a dead horse", one is flailing at a dead or useless idea.

What do you want to say tavarich? is that a useless or dead topic?

[Ulysses G.]

I'd like to throw a few satangs in here... I don't judge guys with bar girls, but I wonder! Who are they? What is their history? Who did they love before? Why are they here? What kind of life do they lead normally? Are they lonely?

It is not about love. It is about sex.

The kind of Western women that I am attracted to sexually would not even entertain the thought. Believe it, or not, Vanessa Mae has better prospects.

**edited at poster's request-cdnvic**

Edited January 17, 2006 by cdnvic

[cdnvic]

That's far enough, clean it up.

cv

[blabbel]

This thread has attracted the lot:

CONDESCENDING:

Pity we can't have this discussion in the office so you could get us all a cup of coffee while we wrap things up

(funny, but patronising. )

Condescending

Maybe although I was more taking a calculated guess at any motherly feelings the OP might have which so far in the discussion were depressed by reasoning.

Considering OP's reply the gamble paid of cause she not only accepted the nurturing role but took it to her advantage by suggesting beer instead of coffee thereby showing her independance and willingness to party with the boys as an equal.

Yeah, ok, but come on, the girl in the office making the coffee has been a classic theme in discussing sexism and stereotyping.

[suegha]

This debate is one of the most interesting; it has surfaced many stereotypes, prejudices and funny postings all in one post.

Here’s my input. My wife and I are in our 16th year of marriage. We both work, we both cook, we both clean, in fact we do whatever needs to de done to maintain a good relationship. The relationship is never dull, always exciting, ever changing and we are always looking for opportunities to do things together. I can seriously say that it’s an equitable relationship that has over the years just got better and better. We are soul-mates, lovers, best friends, companions, we enjoy each others company, we laugh (and sometimes cry) together.

Here’s the rub, I’m not saying whether she is Thai or western, she’s just the right girl for me and I for her! It doesn’t matter where we are from.

[Boo]

good for you suegha, I hope you have many more happy years together

[sbk]

I have a Thai husband who, one would think, would be far more traditional and conservative than any of the farang men posting here. But the fact of the matter is that he prefers my independence. He is not threatened by the fact that I can take care of myself. He appreciates that I don't run to him to take care of every toukay or spider in the bathroom.

Fact is, he grew up poor on an island where everyone had work to do. Not men's work or women's work, just work to survive, to eat. Interestingly enough my father grew up on a Depression era farm being the only son with 3 older sisters. He experienced the same life: work is work. My father is under no illusions about the capabilities of women and raised his daughters to believe they could be whatever they wanted to be.

My oldest sister is a research physicist, she has been married 25 years. I don't think her husband really minds that she has such an intellectually demanding job, nor cares that she makes twice what he does. What he does care about is that she is happy doing what she likes to do.

My middle sister owns her own monthly magazine (started from scratch, has become quite successful in the 5 years since she started it).

I run bungalows on an island in Thailand. We all chose the paths we wanted to.

I think Glauka hit the nail on the head in the very beginning of this very long winded thread: men who feel the need to bash need to deal with their own self-esteem issues. Same goes for women. If you can only make yourself happy by trying to bring others down to your own level then you have some problems.

[Glauka]

This debate is one of the most interesting; it has surfaced many stereotypes, prejudices and funny postings all in one post.

Here’s my input. My wife and I are in our 16th year of marriage. We both work, we both cook, we both clean, in fact we do whatever needs to de done to maintain a good relationship. The relationship is never dull, always exciting, ever changing and we are always looking for opportunities to do things together. I can seriously say that it’s an equitable relationship that has over the years just got better and better. We are soul-mates, lovers, best friends, companions, we enjoy each others company, we laugh (and sometimes cry) together.

Here’s the rub, I’m not saying whether she is Thai or western, she’s just the right girl for me and I for her! It doesn’t matter where we are from.

ONE OF THE BEST POST I HAVE READ IT...THANK YOU SUEGHA!!!!

[toyicebear]

Even though i am independent and i want to have a career and other things don´t mean that i do not care for my partner...

I spent 4 years with my boyfriend living together and even though I wasn´t a house wife a liked to keep the house nicely, i liked to get home and prepare supper together or sometimes he will cook for me or sometimes i will cook for him...I liked to go out with him,etc...we were a couple...

So..why this post...

why still single?????

[Thaipwriter]

Well I'm gagging for a western woman, I have been in Thailand for 10 months and dated loads of girls since i split from my long term GF.

Schoolteachers, government workers, bank tellers, beer promotion girls, beauty salon girls and more ......all sorts of girls from all backgrounds. girls who only owned the clothes they were wearing to girls who were clearly more wealthy that the average westerner.

They all have the same traits, superficial, money loving, fun loving, truth avoiding etc etc.....

I'm not gonna bash all western women on here.

Some of them are rotten! we all know that.

Generally though, its my opinion that on the whole they are a better option that the average Thai lady.

[Glauka]

Even though i am independent and i want to have a career and other things don´t mean that i do not care for my partner...

I spent 4 years with my boyfriend living together and even though I wasn´t a house wife a liked to keep the house nicely, i liked to get home and prepare supper together or sometimes he will cook for me or sometimes i will cook for him...I liked to go out with him,etc...we were a couple...

So..why this post...

why still single?????

this post is to point out my opinion about what i love relationship means to me...

Still single? good question...I think I have not found yet the person I want to share my dreams with or the person who wants to share his dreams with me...j

Is not easy to find the right person and even though there are many nice men out there who i will more than happy to share myself with...the circumstances have not allowed to do so...

Pity though!!!

if you refer why me and my boyfriend split up...you have to talk to him and listen why he need to find out that i was the nice girl he thinks I am...

Is a pity that he had to sleep with someone else to find out his love for me...

Edited January 17, 2006 by Glauka

[toyicebear]

Even though i am independent and i want to have a career and other things don´t mean that i do not care for my partner...

I spent 4 years with my boyfriend living together and even though I wasn´t a house wife a liked to keep the house nicely, i liked to get home and prepare supper together or sometimes he will cook for me or sometimes i will cook for him...I liked to go out with him,etc...we were a couple...

So..why this post...

why still single?????

this post is to point out my opinion about what i love relationship means to me...

Still single? good question...I think I have not found yet the person I want to share my dreams with or the person who wants to share his dreams with me...j

Is not easy to find the right person and even though there are many nice men out there who i will more than happy to share myself with...the circumstances have not allowed to do so...

Pity though!!!

if you refer why me and my boyfriend split up...you have to talk to him and listen why he need to find out that i was the nice girl he thinks I am...

Is a pity that he had to sleep with someone else to find out his love for me...

Its always more easy to see the readwood tree geowing out of anothe ones forehead , than to view the needle/toothpick growing out of the corner of your own eye....

[blabbel]

Its always more easy to see the readwood tree geowing out of anothe ones forehead , than to view the needle/toothpick growing out of the corner of your own eye....

Apply this to your own posts in here.

Tosser!

[CuriousKitten]

To a newbie (me) there is a lot of negative stereotyping of western women on these boards by a very vocal minority. However, a lot of the conversation is driven by white males with a Thai wife or girlfriend either living in Thailand or Farang Land. I think that non-Asian women here should let these men worship their Thai ladies in peace and not post such annoying interjections when white men simply want to love their Asian ladies and speak to like minds. It's true, most men prefer ladies (most men are not homosexual) and from the inter racial research in the US most white men prefer Asian ladies (and in Western dating surveys, Asian ladies prefer white men).

To any idiot on here who wishes to demean the intelligence of the Thai or East Asian women who are preferred, I would point you in the direct of research from US universities (esp. Berkley) where given a 1:1 ratio of Asian Americans to European Americans students, the Asian American females show a great marked, mutual preference to the European American males. These are Americans of equal mental capacity and it is just racial aesthetics that determines the differences.

There are quite a few male idiots on the Internet who do demean Western women and laugh at the progress the west is making on equal rights. It should shock us all when we read 'Thank God I married Thai, I get sex whenever I want it, she cleans the house and doesn't nag. I love not speaking Thai and her not speaking English so I don't have to put up with her mind. All white women are spoilt bitches, all my ex did was nag, got half my house, bank account, life sucking, fat female dog...' Men like that have a problem and I encourage you to laugh at their mental starvation, pity their wife and not let them ruin your day.

On the other hand, as ethnically half East Asian from my mother (who is Asian American) I do worry about men with Thai wives expousing the aesthetic virtues of the Asian female. Buddy, your daughter is going to end up with the X chromosome dear white mommy gave to you! I think any man that marries a Thai lady and is not East Asian himself should keep in mind he is going to have mixed race children and his daughters will be half white (and if they are as unlucky as me end up with snow white skin from a dark mother and green or blue eyes!)

[phuketsiam]

so will you marry me then

[Glauka]

Even though i am independent and i want to have a career and other things don´t mean that i do not care for my partner...

I spent 4 years with my boyfriend living together and even though I wasn´t a house wife a liked to keep the house nicely, i liked to get home and prepare supper together or sometimes he will cook for me or sometimes i will cook for him...I liked to go out with him,etc...we were a couple...

So..why this post...

why still single?????

this post is to point out my opinion about what i love relationship means to me...

Still single? good question...I think I have not found yet the person I want to share my dreams with or the person who wants to share his dreams with me...j

Is not easy to find the right person and even though there are many nice men out there who i will more than happy to share myself with...the circumstances have not allowed to do so...

Pity though!!!

if you refer why me and my boyfriend split up...you have to talk to him and listen why he need to find out that i was the nice girl he thinks I am...

Is a pity that he had to sleep with someone else to find out his love for me...

Its always more easy to see the readwood tree geowing out of anothe ones forehead , than to view the needle/toothpick growing out of the corner of your own eye....

I am going to ignore your harmful comment because today I am not in the mood...keep hurting me... now that you know...maybe you feel better yourself....

Next time you should try to find out a bit more about the people you are trying to hurt just for the sake of it...

However next time if you have nothing positive to say or you are not going to find out more deeper feelings please just keep your comments to yourself...

Edited January 17, 2006 by Glauka

[Boo]

how many proposals u made this week phuketsiam?

[mogoso]

how many proposals u made this week phuketsiam?

I'd guess not enough, as no one has taken the offer

[phuketsiam]

maybe i should change my avitar

[Ajarn_Jonesy]

"Why can't a woman be more like a man?"

Professor Henry Higgins - 1964

I wonder if the good professor had kateoy's in mind when he wrote that piece.

Thats Just WRONG...

[Ajarn_Jonesy]

Message boards and Thailand both seem to attract more than their fair share of people running from some other life, either outside their front door or back West. I tend to think of the vocal bashers like the Mormons here, a little nutty and not representitive of the general population.

Just use your ignore button when someone is baiting you and don't be afraid of talking to people out in the real world. Yes, bad sentiments exist towards Western women but it's not as black and white as it can seem from reading here.

I find that there is a middle ground out there, in that real world. It's not easy for men when everyone's roles have changed so much in a generation. IMHO, it's an essential emotional need of men to feel needed and some of them feel that modern Western morals are in the way of meeting that need. Some have bad experiences with Western women in the past and make the mistake of projecting that on all of us. Try to understand, but that doesn't mean taking a bunch of ignorant crap to heart.

I've met some lovely Western men here and many are tired of fighting off the opinions of this vocal group. Many are sick of getting lumped into this group and hate hearing from them. Know the bad ones are out there but don't let it get in the way of meeting the good ones.

Spot on Pearl... IMHE Well said

[suegha]

To a newbie (me) there is a lot of negative stereotyping of western women on these boards by a very vocal minority. However, a lot of the conversation is driven by white males with a Thai wife or girlfriend either living in Thailand or Farang Land. I think that non-Asian women here should let these men worship their Thai ladies in peace and not post such annoying interjections when white men simply want to love their Asian ladies and speak to like minds. It's true, most men prefer ladies (most men are not homosexual) and from the inter racial research in the US most white men prefer Asian ladies (and in Western dating surveys, Asian ladies prefer white men).

To any idiot on here who wishes to demean the intelligence of the Thai or East Asian women who are preferred, I would point you in the direct of research from US universities (esp. Berkley) where given a 1:1 ratio of Asian Americans to European Americans students, the Asian American females show a great marked, mutual preference to the European American males. These are Americans of equal mental capacity and it is just racial aesthetics that determines the differences.

There are quite a few male idiots on the Internet who do demean Western women and laugh at the progress the west is making on equal rights. It should shock us all when we read 'Thank God I married Thai, I get sex whenever I want it, she cleans the house and doesn't nag. I love not speaking Thai and her not speaking English so I don't have to put up with her mind. All white women are spoilt bitches, all my ex did was nag, got half my house, bank account, life sucking, fat female dog...' Men like that have a problem and I encourage you to laugh at their mental starvation, pity their wife and not let them ruin your day.

On the other hand, as ethnically half East Asian from my mother (who is Asian American) I do worry about men with Thai wives expousing the aesthetic virtues of the Asian female. Buddy, your daughter is going to end up with the X chromosome dear white mommy gave to you! I think any man that marries a Thai lady and is not East Asian himself should keep in mind he is going to have mixed race children and his daughters will be half white (and if they are as unlucky as me end up with snow white skin from a dark mother and green or blue eyes!)

A cracking post, well done. I hope you keep posting, we need balanced intelligent people like you - a voice of reason...

[Nam Kao]

Thai girls are the best, i could never go back