My mother is 90 later this year and in past years we often encouraged her to come to stay/live with us in Thailand. That is no longer an option and so we have returned to be with her in the town where she lives. I have one sister living in the same town but she has already shouldered more than her fair share of responsibility to assist. Other siblings live in other parts of the country. Mum is in a home but is not entirely happy there so we are looking for a better alternative and we think we have found a place. We are pleased to be here to do whatever we can to make the final stage of her life happier and more fulfilling, and we have already seen her health and level of happiness improve since we arrived.

My mother is 90 later this year and in past years we often encouraged her to come to stay/live with us in Thailand. That is no longer an option and so we have returned to be with her in the town where she lives. I have one sister living in the same town but she has already shouldered more than her fair share of responsibility to assist. Other siblings live in other parts of the country. Mum is in a home but is not entirely happy there so we are looking for a better alternative and we think we have found a place. We are pleased to be here to do whatever we can to make the final stage of her life happier and more fulfilling, and we have already seen her health and level of happiness improve since we arrived.

Sounds like a caring family - hope all goes well.

It's a tough one, for sure..

Two points , the first one is obvious.

1.) I have a Thai wife, and so if we were to go to the US, it would mean her leaving her family..

2.) I go back and spend 3-6 weeks a year with my parents. This ends up being way more than my sister who lives one state away sees of them. And they also come and visit me, and I imagine that will increase now that they have grandchildren.

It's a tough one, for sure..

Two points , the first one is obvious.

1.) I have a Thai wife, and so if we were to go to the US, it would mean her leaving her family..

2.) I go back and spend 3-6 weeks a year with my parents. This ends up being way more than my sister who lives one state away sees of them. And they also come and visit me, and I imagine that will increase now that they have grandchildren.

That's a no brainer. I mean after all, what is more important - a Thai wife's family, or the people who brought you into this world and gave 18 years of their life raising you?

When the time came around I was living in Switzerland, not so far away from the UK. However in both cases I had dodgy conversations with nurses not willing to say outright that I might want to come over, I had to interrogate them. I went over quite a few times and in the end missed their end although I was able to help (my dad reckoned that the beer that I smuggled into the hospital was the best he had ever had). I do regret not having fixed up a stay in a hospice for them, that stays with me.

I, too, was not present for either of my parents' last days. But I've come to the realization that where life took me and the decisions that I made at the time were right. A twinge of regret troubled me at the time; however, I and we should be reassured knowing that we did what we thought was best at the time.

All of us here who have contributed to this thread appear to be or have been concerned, loving, and kind-hearted toward their parents.

My mother is 90 later this year and in past years we often encouraged her to come to stay/live with us in Thailand. <snip>

Just a postscript to my earlier note. I wrote an article last year for the journal of the Australian Chamber of Commerce entitled "Aged Care in Thailand: Challenge and Opportunity" which may be of interest to some of those reading this thread.