Dark Time In My Life.

[Thaiboxer1]

I've never been a devout practising buddhist but lately life has been taking a downward spiral.

Recently, I lost my dog and my mother within a month of each other and I've been finding it very hard to get back to a normal life.

Living here in Pattaya, away from close friends and family have made me feel very alone. Never been much of a drinker but the whole month of Dec was spent drowning my sorrows in booze. Now my timetable is messed up and I can't sleep at nites and sleep all day like a vampire.

A friend over here suggested I go to a temple for some peace.

Any temples around Pattaya or nearby to stay for a weekend or a week for this purpose?

I don't know if this will help, but I wanna explore my options. Staying at home is like living in a dungeon.

Any help would be appreciated,

Thaiboxer1

[Abandon]

I don't know about a temple. you might try Wat Marp Jan in Rayong province. There is usually a foreigner monk or nun around there, and it is a peaceful place.

There are occasional 3 day retreats in Jontien (next to Pattaya) run by the IMC

http://intlmedclub.org/

[Thaiboxer1]

I don't know about a temple. you might try Wat Marp Jan in Rayong province. There is usually a foreigner monk or nun around there, and it is a peaceful place.

There are occasional 3 day retreats in Jontien (next to Pattaya) run by the IMC

http://intlmedclub.org/

Thanks Abandon, a thai friend is taking me out to Chonburi area for a temple up in the hills for this wkend.

[Abandon]

If you are not used to staying in a temple it can be a stressful experience, not a peaceful one. All the crazy rituals .. mozzie infested room, no food after midday, and the emptiness of having no distractions can magnify your problems not lessen them. I would think that a week away at a friends house, preferably abroad, might be the ticket ... though it depends on the freind of course.

[Ijustwannateach]

I would certainly think Pattaya is not the best part of Thailand to be when you're feeling messed up. Go somewhere, but get outta there!

[N&M]

Lol, throwing your dog and your mother into the same category...nice.

Anyway, there is a 10 day meditation retreat in Phitsanaluk I think, you can get all the peace you require and think about which one upset you the most, the dog or your mother.

Learn to deal with it, what you have been through is peanuts compared with many.

Edited January 19, 2006 by N&M

[sierra01]

Lol, throwing your dog and your mother into the same category...nice.

Anyway, there is a 10 day meditation retreat in Phitsanaluk I think, you can get all the peace you require and think about which one upset you the most, the dog or your mother.

Learn to deal with it, what you have been through is peanuts compared with many.

Maybe so N&M, but is that any reason for you to be an insensitive idiot?

[sbk]

Wat Suan Mokh in Chaiya, Surat Thani offers meditation retreats on the 1st of every month but also offers very basic accomodation to people in between retreats.

[N&M]

Lol, throwing your dog and your mother into the same category...nice.

Anyway, there is a 10 day meditation retreat in Phitsanaluk I think, you can get all the peace you require and think about which one upset you the most, the dog or your mother.

Learn to deal with it, what you have been through is peanuts compared with many.

Maybe so N&M, but is that any reason for you to be an insensitive idiot?

Sory Sierra, or is that Sarah, anyway, I promise to be more sensitive next time when your around.

By the way, did you know that mental illness is all in the mind.

[camerata]

A friend over here suggested I go to a temple for some peace.

Many Thai men will get ordained and stay in a temple for a week after the death of a parent, but I think this has a lot to do with making merit for the deceased. I don't think being alone with your thoughts will help your situation much. What you need is to keep your mind occupied. If all else fails, try renting/borrowing a whole bunch of DVDs, preferably of the action/thriller variety. When I'm feeling down, I re-watch all my old kung-<deleted> movies and Hitchcock/DePalma thrillers.

[sabaijai]

You might want to take a look at Wat Kanjanaram in Jomtien. Phone number is 0 3875 6000. They do meditation retreats, if that interests you.

[DUMPSTER]

I watched Mitch Albom's Tuesdays with Morrie last night, ubc hallmark. I'm sure the book is a great read and may help you understand how you can deal with death. To occupy your mind with the distraction of some dvd's, to me, is putting off something that you should deal with now. Try not to run from your life's lessons, instead deal with them now and you will move on a be better man for it.

I would agree with some other posters that a Thai temple might not be the answer you are looking for at this time. Being alone and dealing with your thoughts can be very difficult. Talking about your feelings and gaining insight to them might be more beneficial to you. Someone will walk into your life and help you. You only have to ask!

[gisele]

Wat Suan Mokh in Chaiya, Surat Thani offers meditation retreats on the 1st of every month but also offers very basic accomodation to people in between retreats.

I was going to suggest the same, A colleague went a few months ago and enjoyed the experience.

[joinme2leave]

I'd suggest the same: do not stay alone (as a temple short time stay would be) ---- get around (maybe not Pattaya though) --- talk with people, even talk with strangers, do not talk about the past, talk about the future, about ideas, about your plans ---- concentrate on anything but past ---- and stop drinking.

ooooh, AND: a bit off-topic but essential to mention:

the loss of a beloved dog may VERY WELL be as tragic as the loss of family members. I do feel with you.

But life WILL go on. Believe. Live!

[Jose]

Thaiboxer1, anyone that has suffered a major loss in their life feels for you and your immense pain.

Please help yourself:

Try body-healthy things. Swim, walk, climb a tree. Eat nothing and only drink water for one day - stay away from sugar and alcohol, as these will add to your sadness.

Dilute your pain with others' - try helping others that may be in similar or worse pain. Compare your suffering with others' - all will soon appear in perspective.

Do emotionally-healthy things, such as getting up early before dawn. Watch both sunrise and sunset in a single day. Spend time near children - watch their faces mirror the joy in life. Stay away from noise. Let the tears flow. Sleep at night.

Feel your breadth, your heart beat.

Watch your pain in silence.

Let it go...

Pain is temporary.

Like all else on earth, "this too shall pass".

jose

[Misplaced]

Lol, throwing your dog and your mother into the same category...nice.

Anyway, there is a 10 day meditation retreat in Phitsanaluk I think, you can get all the peace you require and think about which one upset you the most, the dog or your mother.

Learn to deal with it, what you have been through is peanuts compared with many.

Maybe so N&M, but is that any reason for you to be an insensitive idiot?

Sory Sierra, or is that Sarah, anyway, I promise to be more sensitive next time when your around.

By the way, did you know that mental illness is all in the mind.

You're smart enough to recognized that illness is in your mind but not smart enough to recognized you're making enemy... Nice.

To the OP, Do everything you can to keep your mind away from your problem. I personally think that a temple is not a place you should be. Friends, friends, friends is what you need.

Edited January 22, 2006 by Misplaced

[chownah]

Thaiboxer1,

I don't know you so I have no idea what would be best for you.....even if I did know you I probably wouldn't know what would be best for you. I have a hard enough time figuring out what is best for me. I would like to say that it is my belief that going to a temple for solace is not a good way to deal with serious mental depression, psychosis, or other serious mental problems....at least that is what I have read in many places in discussions of Buddhism.....however some Buddhists disagree on this point....this is just a heads up to you to be cautious if you think that this might be the case with you.

Chownah

[taxexile]

thaiboxer 1 , sorry to hear about your losses and your sadness.

sympathy is hard to come by in thailand , thais deal with these things very differently to westerners, and they can seem unintentionally very insensitive at times.

i doubt if a thai temple is the right place to be in your situation , and found the post below to be more appropriate.

Please help yourself:

Try body-healthy things. Swim, walk, climb a tree. Eat nothing and only drink water for one day - stay away from sugar and alcohol, as these will add to your sadness.

Dilute your pain with others' - try helping others that may be in similar or worse pain. Compare your suffering with others' - all will soon appear in perspective.

Do emotionally-healthy things, such as getting up early before dawn. Watch both sunrise and sunset in a single day. Spend time near children - watch their faces mirror the joy in life. Stay away from noise. Let the tears flow. Sleep at night.

Feel your breadth, your heart beat.

Watch your pain in silence.

Let it go...

Pain is temporary.

Like all else on earth, "this too shall pass".

especially the highlighted sentence.

my suggestion would be to offer your services to some local charity dealing with the sick or with kids. the feedback you receive from doing such work should help to counteract the negativity you are feeling.

grieving is a natural process that must take its course , it cant be speeded up or avoided.

you have to just go with it and let it happen. it will pass over you in time.

keep off the alcohol.

good luck.