Going To Marry My Tg

[rodeoooo]

Ok folks,

dont flame me right away, ok?

First, I am 48, single, have lived worldwide

Sold timeshare for 10 years, now do another type of

(honest) sales....so i have seen a hussle or two and

some real good liars, cheats and con men/women....

Have been to LOS several times and know the dangers of

my plan.

That said and done, here is the plan:

Fiance visa in process, finish @ June

Coming to LOS mid feb to present the engagement ring

(Valentines day)

Will meet Mom and some family on this trip

Back to LOS March or April for the Buddist wedding

Will be in LOS every 4-6 weeks for a week

Once visa in hand, bring the Princess to California

Visa is for 90 days, marry or go home

Fiance will be in English school till she gets here

Once in California, get her aclimated, then @ 30 days in CA,

have her sign the Pre nep, then marry in California

Result:

7 month engagement, she happy, i am protected

pretty well

Specific Questions:

When meeting Mom for first time what is Protacal

do i bring her a gift?

what kind of gift?

do i bring her brothers/sisters gifts?

what type

she has 2 kids, and i will be bringing them gifts

what kind?

Buddist wedding:

protacol

gift to monk?

present to village / village elders?

Her new apartment:

(willupgrade her apt so i can quit paying hotels)

how much should i pay for a furnished 1 bedroom

with kitchen and hi speed internet access?

Gents ( and i hope ladies)

thank you for bearing with the long post

ANY comments are appreciated

The info i have gleaned from this forum has made my trips

to LOS much more enjoyable and most of all made

it possible to scout for my Mate

Disclamer: yes, i have read ALL the posts her of the horror stories

i am not thinking all times with my little head, have distanced my

self in analyizing the situation. (My job involves travel, and for 3 months

have NOT called my regular girls, and have turned down the screen scratchers

at home,,,this has Never happened...)

[cdnvic]

Regarding the legalities, prenup, etc...

If you both plan to live in the states remember that the prenup will only cover you in the case of a maritial breakup. If she buggers off on you, runs up a string of debts, unpaid taxes, medical bills etc, the government will still hold you lible for it. Same goes for her kids. I think it used to be ten years but don't quote me on that. If you are worried enough to sign a prenup then maybe you should give the above a second thought.

Ok... enough morbidity and lectures (been through it myself)

Gifts for monks: Yes. Money isn't nessesarily the answer, although a small donation to the temple along with supplies they need will be appreciated. I've seen quite a few people giving monks things like medicines, fabric, sandals, stationary supplies, and stuff

Gifts for gf's siblings: Yes

Something that they can't get here and is easy to show off to their friends.

Gifts for her kids: Best make it something special to show them you accept them into your family. This will make a big impression on the parent's in law, as they will be concerned about this.

Gifts for parents: Definitly, but don't be surprised if they act like it's nothing, or don't open it in front of you as many Thais particularly older ones find it bad form to do so in front of the giver. I brought my new mother in law a serving dish with intricate carved symbols on it made by a Haida indian. She thinks it makes a great pillow .

When meeting her parents:

- The MOTHER is the one you need to impress... this is especially so if the family is chinese background.

-Be polite (hold your wai up high at least the first time afterwards you can relax)

-Don't eat like a westerner. Believe it or not this seems to have been my MIL's biggest worry, that I would eat like a pig.

-Eat alot of you're MIL's cooking the first time she cooks. After that she won't mind you eating less but the first meal eat alot. It looks most polite when you pretend to be full but eat more at the slightest inducement.

I can't tell you regarding the village elder. That would probably be better asked of your gf as she will have seen more than a few weddings in the villiage and have a good idea about these protocols.

The most comforting thing I can probably tell you is that as the groom you will, like any western wedding, have little say in it. Chances are your fiancee will know most of these things better than I or anyone else here, and will, as women are women, do most of the planing. You just need to relax and pay the bills...

Best of luck dude

cv

[eddie g]

When meeting the family for the first time the best present you can give is lots of beer and wiskey.

Be prepared to get very drunk.

Be prepared for everyone to get really drunk. (except TGF)

Try to refrain from doing animal impersion's to impress the kids. (this didnt do me too much harm)

And deffinatly dont try to give the mum or the auntie or any female members a hug or kiss on the cheek when you leave no matter how drunk you are.

eddy g

[tuky]

Don't try to dance with your new MIL, this is not good...but my experience will tell you she does get over it, just not a good starting impression. My wife took a while to get over it too, she couldn't believe I would butterfly with her own Mum

Now they all love me

[Kringle]

I just want to know a couple of things to clear things. What do you mean when you say you don't want to pay for a hotel room anymore, why are you paying for one NOW? Especially if you're sending money to her to support her. If you met her in a bar and she's living in a hotel room, what makes you think she's not still working? I don't want to be negative but it does seem VERY ODD that she would be living in a hotel room instead of being back home.

[Guest IT Manager]

Don't try to dance with your new MIL, this is not good...but my experience will tell you she does get over it, just not a good starting impression. My wife took a while to get over it too, she couldn't believe I would butterfly with her own Mum

Now they all love me

Frightening as it may seem, he's right. They adore him.

Scary

[rodeoooo]

Hello my friends

as to the last post....

my TGF lives in a studio 20 min from sukemvit on the bts

she regularly gets items lifted from her apt

when i come to LOS, we stay at a full service hotel

(ok, i am a snob, what can i say, i like room service!)

since we have hooked up she has spent most of her time

upcountry with the family ( i talk to her kids, mom & sister on phone )

she will be spending 4 days a week in bkk to go to english and computer

school

is she still working? dont think so

my eyes are WIDE open

i will be hiring a PI to verify info also

fyi

the last southern california girl i dated...

went out 6 months before i found out she had 2 kids, not 1

smoked and drank, was in a 5 year lawsuit, went bankrupt twice

was unemployable and was seening a psychiatrist and pschholigist

(sorry for spelling) and was on 2 different meds from each one

the one before that, didnt meet her kids for 3 months

then found out why

the girl i married from the midwest "good moral values" etc.

cheated on me within 2 months

i am sober 9 years, go to a mens meeting regular

@ 40 guys, very, very few have the perfect marraige

all said and done, Thai, american, german, uk,

remember this " they sit down to pee "

r

ps

i REALLY appreciate ALL input

keep it coming folks

i have this fantasy that a "loving, kind, supportive" relationship

REALLY is posible in this day and time...

[Guest IT Manager]

For me the humour is the PI. Being from California I suppose it's normal to investigate your truly beloved. Here, if I were you, I wouldn't marry. I would suspect every woman you met of wanting to away with your countless millions. That means a trip every night to find a new night wife. Saves hassle. saves money.

Where did you meet her again?

I think this is a troll. You are either dopey or believe most of us are. But thats just my opinion.

[Kringle]

to investigate or not is purely up to the person. For my thought, it's hard to say "TRUE LOVE" from here not here relationship. Way too many guys that have lost too much. Granted a lot because of their own stupidity but others just taken because the girl could get away with it, and all in the pretext of "TRUE LOVE" .

[rodeoooo]

######...

Thank you for your opinion. We both have them.

At the risk of being flamed by a "senior member"

...... interesting the most negative response is from you.

hmmmm.......

[pnustedt]

I have been in a similar to yourself rodeoo, and I think that there may be a few flaws in your plan.

Firstly, you are planning to visit her parents before you are married. You should be very discreet regarding your relationship, and certain that the marriage is going thru' before you meet them.

Do not overdo the gifts on the first meeting. A bit of booze/cigs and buy a lot food locally for all the family/neighbours. Always act in a dignified manner.

If the Buddhist wedding is to be in a village I would suggest a cash donation for the local Wat - get wads of 20 baht notes for the locals to make a money tree that can be paraded thru' the village - the wedding can start at the bride's home then finish at the Wat and the whole village can take part.

Forget about the PI - it is a betrayal of trust. She will love you for what you are and you should love her for what she is. Be clear about the sort of behaviour you expect from each other in the future and don't look back. If you don't trust her then forget it! If you feel you don't know enough about her then postpone until you do.

I hope that it does work out well - I believe that you have a better chance with a Thai girl than a Western but I can only tell you from my own experiences.