Child Abandonment..........a Tragic Tale

[soi41]

It was probably too hard for the family to get a canadian passport.

I mean it takes a lot of work. Like

1) Thai birth certificate translated into english, a big 2hour commitment

2) A plane ticket for the child. Again 30mins and a bit of money

3) A lawyer that signs a paper that stipulates that the kid is really himself

4) A 2week wait period to get the passport.

5) A letter from the mom that the child can travel to canada.

its 2012, if there's no APP for it it cant be done

Can someone please explain to me, why should a Thai child living with her Thai mother in Thailand go to Canada to a "family" she doesn't even know??

[theblether]

It was probably too hard for the family to get a canadian passport.

I mean it takes a lot of work. Like

1) Thai birth certificate translated into english, a big 2hour commitment

2) A plane ticket for the child. Again 30mins and a bit of money

3) A lawyer that signs a paper that stipulates that the kid is really himself

4) A 2week wait period to get the passport.

5) A letter from the mom that the child can travel to canada.

its 2012, if there's no APP for it it cant be done

Can someone please explain to me, why should a Thai child living with her Thai mother in Thailand go to Canada to a "family" she doesn't even know??

She does know them....she has met both of her older half brothers.....more than once and for a considerable length of time on each visit. These people are not strangers to her, and again I have witnessed one brother in particular introducing the little girl as his sister.

It's irrelevant anyway, there are no plans to take the child out of Thailand.

[manarak]

She a competitor for the inheritence of a seriously ill man. Sadly, that probably weighs heaviest on their minds right now.

This and the fact that the Canadian family probably looks down on the Thai side of the "family".

The Thais can do what they want, they will always be considered sly, greedy and not worthy.

[BabyJebus]

It was probably too hard for the family to get a canadian passport.

I mean it takes a lot of work. Like

1) Thai birth certificate translated into english, a big 2hour commitment

2) A plane ticket for the child. Again 30mins and a bit of money

3) A lawyer that signs a paper that stipulates that the kid is really himself

4) A 2week wait period to get the passport.

5) A letter from the mom that the child can travel to canada.

its 2012, if there's no APP for it it cant be done

Can someone please explain to me, why should a Thai child living with her Thai mother in Thailand go to Canada to a "family" she doesn't even know??

Education and better love and life experience.

Exactly why im bringing my child back home.

People sitting around and letting the child do whatever all day is not wht i consider being a parent. A child with a good thai family (thats if the family is GOOD) can have a decent life in thailand

but in canada all he needs is a subpar family to have much more than what he'd get in thailand. Most people would wish their child to grow up with more than a single event per year (all thai events are EXACTLY the same thing. 1000 stands with about 30 different things spread out, same bad music on cheap speakers that are moslty used by an unimportant person trying to HISO level up by speaking 70% of the time about lame stuff, broken down railroad for kids with a few other broken down toys/trampoline, a beauty dance show)

The only child i have seen getting better lives than a ghetto kid in canada are those of extremely wealthy families and even then most of them are missing a lot on the beauty of nature, the millions of free different art/physical developement acitivites offered by the city. All the different festivals and holidays(how do you let a child grow up without Halloween and snow?)

I could go on for 50 pages. and lol. sending a canadian child to a free thai public school. Yeah, thats nice man. Im sure the father would be thrilled.

My child has spent only 20% of his life with his canadian side of the family. Most of it when he was very young and doesnt remember.

He still has 500% more respect for them and everytime he leaves thailand he forgets the thai side he sees everyday after a week. Right now he has not seen his canadian side for 8months and he still talks about them everyday. Tells you a lot.

Edited September 4, 2012 by BabyJebus

[krisb]

If that little kid was my family I would cross hell to help her.

Hmm it seems theres so many sad stories of kids being abandoned in Thailand. Plenty falang kids in Pattaya orphanage and the cost to adopt them is ridiculous approx $50,000aus as a family I know adopted a little Thai girl in Bangkok last year.

What about this kids mum? where is she? Isnt she looking after the kid?

Perhaps the dads family really really hated the new Thai family thing because this dad had left the old Canadian wife?

I hate how so many Thai girls move overseas to live with the falang boyfriend and dump their kids with yai. Poor little impressionable minds must get scarred from abandonment.

Sometimes life seems so cheap in Thailand.

Hey OP, would you consider adopting her?

[krisb]

@soi41 I'm disappointed at your contribution, it's below you. This is the family and children forum, not general.

It's quite obvious why I have asked the questions that I have......I am trying to work out what this mother and child are entitled to. I have also pointed out that I will fund the child quietly so that the Canadian family do not get the idea that there is another farang on the scene, with the potential confusions ( malicious and otherwise ) that could bring.

Okay........I am once removed from this problem, this issue has been live for months however the removal of the husband has been relatively recent and the financial implications have bitten deep in the past few weeks. It did not occur to my girlfriend or anyone else to tell me what had happened, and it certainly didn't occur to them to ask me for funding. The OP arose as I had enquired as to the status of the family as I knew that things were highly fluid and difficult, only after enquiring did the story start to pour out.

I asked my girlfriend to get a hold of the mother so that I could get copies of the documentation, I was surprised to hear that the mother did not answer the call, and yesterday after the third day ( to my knowledge ) of trying to get a hold of the mother I was told that the chances were she wasn't answering as she borrowed 6,000 baht from my gf's mother. The gf's mother had borrowed the money from another friend as she was not in a position to provide the loan.

So now we join the magic roundabout of debt, ducking and diving. My girlfriend pointed out to me that the 6,000 baht was " not important, we must know that the child is okay ". I'm very proud of her for having that attitude. My girlfriend has already stated that her family will take the child in until the mother get's back on her feet.........I'm very proud to hear this too. It's an option, maybe not the perfect solution, but an option nonetheless.

Okay......I will pay the 6,000 baht debt this week, it's the best part of a months wages for my gf's mother and I want to remove that stress from the equation. I will supply additional funding this week too........I'll probably stick in around 15,000 baht additional for my gf to hold and use at her discretion. That should get them over the immediate crisis phase.......I'm starting to believe that there will be no funding coming through from Canada so my question is how much would you allocate as a reasonable amount to support the child on a monthly basis?

To find what they are entitled to, ring the Thai embassy in Canada and probably the Canadian embassy in Thailand also. That would be the first phone call. Then why dont you get in contact with the Canadian family and ask how they feel about everything and what the plan is for his daughter.

I think you need to take the responsibility on and help this guys family mate.

Whats the worst that could happen?

It starts with a simple phone call:)

[Trembly]

Thailand is on the list of countries that Canada is happy to send welfare payments to Canadian citizens to.

I know because I've been looking into my father's Canadian state pension arrangements.

Edited September 7, 2012 by Trembly

[theblether]

I'll address some of the questions asked of me after the weekend. My girlfriend has a meeting arranged with the mother to discuss the situation, both on a financial and emotional level.

Once I have gathered more facts I'll come back and ask for your input, I'm paying attention to everything that's being said.

[CWMcMurray]

I've looked into it in the US and what I have been told is that my wife would need to have resided with me in the US for at least 5 yrs in order to receive benefits if I passed away

[Mario2008]

1 nonsesical post has been deleted.

[fletchsmile]

The child has a mother who takes care of it. The question is not how the child can go to Canada and be taken care of by the Canadian family. The question is how the child can get support (money) for her living expenses, school etc.

That to me is also the key issue.

It's a sad story from the daughter's perspective, that firstly she will lose her father and secondly the financial support that comes from that.

Legally the daughter should be with the mother.

I think some perspective is also needed. If the Canadian guy had left his first wife and family, and then married (or possibly even not married) another Canadian lady in Canada, and had (whether proven or not) a child by the second woman, would people be advocating that the first family take care of the child from the second family - assuming of course it was the fathers? I doubt it. I don't see many first families in the west (including Canada) taking on the child from a second marriage if something happens to the father - particularly where the mother is still alive. So why should this be different, because the second wife is Thai. I don't see any obligation for the first family to provide ongoing assistance to the child of a second wife, and taking the child off its mother after losing its father would be highly questionable. It would be nice if they voluntarily did provide financial assistance, or even if the father asked they would and they agreed, but I don't see how anyone can claim they would be obliged to.

The most equitable solution would be asking the father how he thinks the inheritance should be divided. Presumably he is able to communicate in some way.

After that as Mario said, it is a case of what financial support is available to the child, and from whom, and how people can help with that - so well worth checking out the avenues available.

Edited September 8, 2012 by fletchsmile

[Phronesis]

When I was a kid at college many moons ago, I studied X and Y theory in an executivie management unit. X theory states that all people are inherently good and, as a manager you just need to nuture and provide opportunities and everyone will shine. Theory Y states everyone is an evil self interested bastard, that must be micro managed to ensure they don't skim the till.

When I was young I wanted with all my heart to believe that X theory was correct. Now, in the wake of my life as a professional and business man, I know, with out any shadow of doubt, that Y theory is more on the money.

One need only look at a public toilet. If X theory was true, every public toilet would be spotlessly clean with each user taking care to leave it a little cleaner for the next person....How many spotlessly clean public toilets have you been in? I rest my case.

Let us not waste any more of our valubale lives speculating backwards and forwards on this thread. In the shadow of X and Y theory the answer to this conundrum is perfectly clear:

Inheritance

Edited September 8, 2012 by Phronesis

[David48]

I'll address some of the questions asked of me after the weekend. My girlfriend has a meeting arranged with the mother to discuss the situation, both on a financial and emotional level.

Once I have gathered more facts I'll come back and ask for your input, I'm paying attention to everything that's being said.

Maybe theblether might not be able to fullfill that commitment.

See here.