Entering A Home Etiquette

[jacktrip]

I keep getting people entering my house without knocking.

It's hot here so I like to keep my windows and doors open, that usually means the screen door is open as well. People will occasionally enter without knocking, occasionally they will say hello, but will be inside the threshold before I can get to the door. It's happened with Thais as well as foreigners that I don't know, and some Thais that I know but not well enough to give them access without being let in.

This makes me nervous. Is the etiquette for entering a home different in Thailand, or are these people who could be trying to snoop or take things? I'm near the front of the moo-bann so maybe people think its ok to walk in?

Where I'm from you just don't walk into someones house. You knock then wait, and if nobody answers you go away, even if the door is open!

[londoedan]

I think thats all good - as long as your visitors take their shoes off before entering.

[lovelaos]

Sorry to be the one to break the bad news to you but this one is quite simple. They don't respect you. They are pushing your buttons to see what they can get away with.Would they or do they do this in everyone's house? No, they wouldn't dare. You must put a stop to this now.

[CharlieH]

as usual, asked the wife on this one, she says absolutely not enter, if the door is open you call and wait for an answer if nothing, you leave. You never enter unless invited to do so, in which case remove the shoes and enter. The only premises she could think of where you remove the shoes and enter regardless is a salon or office type place where customers etc are expected to enter.

Edited September 28, 2012 by CharlieH

[besth]

Well, if the door is open, they can't knock on it, can they? (sorry, I'll get my coat)

It definitely is not OK and not normal for people who don't live in the house - except maybe some close friends - to just walk into the house without being invited. I would politely make them aware that you are not happy with it.

[pattayadingo]

as usual, asked the wife on this one, she says absolutely not enter, if the door is open you call and wait for an answer if nothing, you leave. You never enter unless invited to do so, in which case remove the shoes and enter. The only premises she could think of where you remove the shoes and enter regardless is a salon or office type place where customers etc are expected to enter.

That is what I have always been led to believe too.

Maybe it is a lack of respect for people to enter the house without an invite, as said earlier.

[loong]

Only family can walk in and even then, you'd expect them to call out as they enter. Everyone else should stand outside and call out to attract your attention.

If people walk in without waiting for you to invite them in, they are not being polite and you should not need to be polite and tell them that they have no manners.

I've only ever had one non family enter the house uninvited and he was drunk, trying to cadge cigarettes. It frightened my missus when he suddenly appeared (me as well, to be honest). I pushed him backwards out of the door and closed it, trying not to show how nervous I was. But I knew that if I wasn't forceful this one time, he, and maybe others would be back again and again.

[damo]

I'm guessing OP is in Bahn Nok. I found the same scenario and reacted the same. Hell I was having the old lady over the road come over in the morning every morning, cruising straight in and making herself a coffee like she was in her own home. Reality is the people that were doing this had lived nearby all their lives and were there the day my wife was born and like brothers and sisters to my inlaws. The reason they were so comfortable just helping themselves is because they were just doing what was natural to them and in all reality it was just better for me to live and let live. Theyre not taking the piss, there just close.

I'm the organised type and like to buy in bulk and stock up on things but found quickly that obtaining what was needed just in time and stashing thing was prudent.

[lovelaos]

I'm guessing OP is in Bahn Nok. I found the same scenario and reacted the same. Hell I was having the old lady over the road come over in the morning every morning, cruising straight in and making herself a coffee like she was in her own home. Reality is the people that were doing this had lived nearby all their lives and were there the day my wife was born and like brothers and sisters to my inlaws. The reason they were so comfortable just helping themselves is because they were just doing what was natural to them and in all reality it was just better for me to live and let live. Theyre not taking the piss, there just close.

I'm the organised type and like to buy in bulk and stock up on things but found quickly that obtaining what was needed just in time and stashing thing was prudent.

So you still let this happen?

[jacktrip]

Only family can walk in and even then, you'd expect them to call out as they enter. Everyone else should stand outside and call out to attract your attention.

If people walk in without waiting for you to invite them in, they are not being polite and you should not need to be polite and tell them that they have no manners.

I've only ever had one non family enter the house uninvited and he was drunk, trying to cadge cigarettes. It frightened my missus when he suddenly appeared (me as well, to be honest). I pushed him backwards out of the door and closed it, trying not to show how nervous I was. But I knew that if I wasn't forceful this one time, he, and maybe others would be back again and again.

The most recent 'visitor' was a british lady who walked in quietly and stood there watching me from the living room while I was on the computer (I had my back to her). I heard something and turned around and saw her standing there and she quickly slinked out of the house. I went after her and she was outside the door on the walk and i said 'can i help you'. then she asked some dumb question about renting a house. i told her 'i don't know' and she went away.

i quickly checked to make sure my wallet was still there and she had not stolen anything.

[sotsira]

Only family can walk in and even then, you'd expect them to call out as they enter. Everyone else should stand outside and call out to attract your attention.

If people walk in without waiting for you to invite them in, they are not being polite and you should not need to be polite and tell them that they have no manners.

I've only ever had one non family enter the house uninvited and he was drunk, trying to cadge cigarettes. It frightened my missus when he suddenly appeared (me as well, to be honest). I pushed him backwards out of the door and closed it, trying not to show how nervous I was. But I knew that if I wasn't forceful this one time, he, and maybe others would be back again and again.

The most recent 'visitor' was a british lady who walked in quietly and stood there watching me from the living room while I was on the computer (I had my back to her). I heard something and turned around and saw her standing there and she quickly slinked out of the house. I went after her and she was outside the door on the walk and i said 'can i help you'. then she asked some dumb question about renting a house. i told her 'i don't know' and she went away.

i quickly checked to make sure my wallet was still there and she had not stolen anything.

I think you may need to put a sign at your entrance!

Something like, "Trespassers will be Eaten!"

Or, toned down a bit,

Danger! Do Not Enter without Knocking!

In Thai & English off-coarse.

[kennedy]

"Waan" the dog takes care of that for me.No sign needed.

[Pacificperson]

Close your screen door, and quite likely, people will respect it. Open doors invite people into the house.

[CharlieH]

If it persists, get one of those pressure mats by the door, someone steps on it and the bell rings.

People will soon get the message. Just a suggestion.

[Semper]

@ jacktrip Don't you have a gate that you can close, or are you talking about a condo?

Edited September 28, 2012 by Semper

[watcharacters]

Close your screen door, and quite likely, people will respect it. Open doors invite people into the house.

Excellent and friendly and effective.

[TommoPhysicist]

Lock the door, or lock the property gate.

[jacktrip]

@ jacktrip Don't you have a gate that you can close, or are you talking about a condo?

The moo baan is gated but other people go in and out. i think thats part of the problem is that its semi communal and not strictly an independent house as the garden is shared.

Keeping things closed or locked would work. Putting a stick through the handles in the screen would work also, as would shutting the screen I think.

Its just a hassle remembering to do it each time. there was one guy who used to live here that would really encroach and ask people where they were going, or want to hang out on your porch when he saw you first thing in the morning (not easy to tell a neighbor to get lost when hes acting friendly and needs to 'hang out' without it feeling weird).

[transam]

Farangs might but Thais will not pass a threshold IF they understand right and wrong. . .

[lovelaos]

@ jacktrip Don't you have a gate that you can close, or are you talking about a condo?

The moo baan is gated but other people go in and out. i think thats part of the problem is that its semi communal and not strictly an independent house as the garden is shared.

Keeping things closed or locked would work. Putting a stick through the handles in the screen would work also, as would shutting the screen I think.

Its just a hassle remembering to do it each time. there was one guy who used to live here that would really encroach and ask people where they were going, or want to hang out on your porch when he saw you first thing in the morning (not easy to tell a neighbor to get lost when hes acting friendly and needs to 'hang out' without it feeling weird).

Would you put up with this in your home country? I don't know how well you know the culture but let me give you a bit of advice. It is not frowned upon to be assertive in Thailand. What farang might see as being slightly rude by telling people what the boundaries are, Thais will respect your 'status' if you don't let people walk all over you (or in this case all over your property)

Be assertive without raising your voice, practice using the Thai smile to your advantage and you will see instant change in peoples attitude towards you. Trust me, it works.

[lovelaos]

Farangs might but Thais will not pass a threshold IF they understand right and wrong. . .

And if they wish to show you any kind of respect.

[transam]

Farangs might but Thais will not pass a threshold IF they understand right and wrong. . .

And if they wish to show you any kind of respect.

Absolutely.

[chiangmaikelly]

Time for an attack puppy. Amazing how quickly they learn. I didn't teach her how to bark at strangers.

[NanLaew]

Only family can walk in and even then, you'd expect them to call out as they enter. Everyone else should stand outside and call out to attract your attention.

If people walk in without waiting for you to invite them in, they are not being polite and you should not need to be polite and tell them that they have no manners.

I've only ever had one non family enter the house uninvited and he was drunk, trying to cadge cigarettes. It frightened my missus when he suddenly appeared (me as well, to be honest). I pushed him backwards out of the door and closed it, trying not to show how nervous I was. But I knew that if I wasn't forceful this one time, he, and maybe others would be back again and again.

The most recent 'visitor' was a british lady who walked in quietly and stood there watching me from the living room while I was on the computer (I had my back to her). I heard something and turned around and saw her standing there and she quickly slinked out of the house. I went after her and she was outside the door on the walk and i said 'can i help you'. then she asked some dumb question about renting a house. i told her 'i don't know' and she went away.

i quickly checked to make sure my wallet was still there and she had not stolen anything.

Thai neighbours coming and going I could understand if the OP is living with a Thai partner. Is he?

The British lady walking in and asking about a house rental is weird. Is the OP renting this house? With these total strangers, Thai and farang just walking in makes me think that somewhere in the moobahn, there is a 'House For Rent' sign that the Landlord hasn't taken down!

Fix the doorbell maybe?

Sent from the Back 'o Bennachie with an Asus eePad Transformer TF201 thingumabob.

[Semper]

@ jacktrip Don't you have a gate that you can close, or are you talking about a condo?

The moo baan is gated but other people go in and out. i think thats part of the problem is that its semi communal and not strictly an independent house as the garden is shared.

Keeping things closed or locked would work. Putting a stick through the handles in the screen would work also, as would shutting the screen I think.

Its just a hassle remembering to do it each time. there was one guy who used to live here that would really encroach and ask people where they were going, or want to hang out on your porch when he saw you first thing in the morning (not easy to tell a neighbor to get lost when hes acting friendly and needs to 'hang out' without it feeling weird).

How about using a dress code similar to your avatar?

[jacktrip]

@ jacktrip Don't you have a gate that you can close, or are you talking about a condo?

The moo baan is gated but other people go in and out. i think thats part of the problem is that its semi communal and not strictly an independent house as the garden is shared.

Keeping things closed or locked would work. Putting a stick through the handles in the screen would work also, as would shutting the screen I think.

Its just a hassle remembering to do it each time. there was one guy who used to live here that would really encroach and ask people where they were going, or want to hang out on your porch when he saw you first thing in the morning (not easy to tell a neighbor to get lost when hes acting friendly and needs to 'hang out' without it feeling weird).

How about using a dress code similar to your avatar?

thats a picture of me sitting at my computer.

[soundman]

No need for an attack dog then.

Sent from my HTC One X using Thaivisa Connect App

[cbrer]

They wouldn't do it for someone they respect.

[tfc]

No one has ever tried to come into my place. I guess the locked security door might be getting in their way.

[Chittychangchang]

Educate them put a sign in English and Thai saying 1000bht to enter, also put a sliding bolt on the screen cover.

If any women walk into your home and your on your computer again just swing the chair around and show your buggie smugglers with a suggestive look.

Hope i've helped.