Thai In Laws Culture Difference Or Insulting - You Decide!

[chiangmaikelly]

Since you posted at 3AM I would assume the parents are Australian?

He's already said they are Thai.

Then why would he post at 3AM?

Why not ?

Is it past his bedtime ?

The thought occurred to me that it is a drunk Aussie who can't tell the ethnicity of his in laws.

Really what married guy with kids would be posting at 3 in the morning?

Edited October 6, 2012 by chiangmaikelly

[Pormax]

I agree with you and if the same happened to me then I would be fuming and think of their action as disrespectful to both you and your wife.

This is not a Thai thing as I am British married before to a UK lady and have 4 grandchilren.

Not only did my wife ask me to get some nice photos of my grandchildren to put up on the walls of our house but

my Thia wife's parents also wanted photos of MY daughters and my grandchildren and displays them in their house openly even though my Thai wife or I are not in the photos.

They think of themselves as Great Grandparents even though have never met them. Rather strange really but nice.

If I was in your position I would forget the in-laws and lead your own life.

Edited October 6, 2012 by Pormax

[Pormax]

Since you posted at 3AM I would assume the parents are Australian?

He's already said they are Thai.

Then why would he post at 3AM?

Why not ?

Is it past his bedtime ?

Is there a law in Thailand against posting a topic at 3am in the morning???

I quite often go to bed early then get up in the early hours to watch football or other live sports from UK or USA.

[HeavyDrinker]

[Scully]

I prefer Chopin.

[robblok]

When it comes down to a decision a Thai wife has to make between her parents and a farang husband, guess who loses? Guess who loses a couple of houses and who knows what else?

Go ahead. Stand up for yourself. I wouldn't bet on the outcome.

I wish I didn't have to offend everyone with this statement but I can't help myself. In someone else's country and culture where I have few rights including property rights, I'm never giving anyone a house. There are other ways such as renting them a house. Things rented in their name and with me giving them money to make the payments, and monthly cash aid can be stopped.

As far as I'm concerned, every man who moves to Thailand should first have his tubes tied and then FFFF.

Sorry.

Aren't you the guy that has not even lived here yet but are planning too. What a load of bullshit i know plenty of cases where the wive chooses her husband. I know plenty of cases where daughters are not close to their mom for various reasons. Farangs they really love don't loose out just guys that rent their wives.

For the picture issue id be real offended and i would have made a big deal out of it. If any money went that way ever id make sure it was stopped.

[chonabot]

Really what married guy with kids would be posting at 3 in the morning?

Plenty - the last time I checked I was able to post any time I wanted ( as long as I warned my wife and kids 2 weeks in advance )

[HeavyDrinker]

My in-laws hate me especially as we haven't given them any grandkids but at the end of the day this is your life and your wife's life.

The last time I saw my father in law we were in the Holte end at Villa Park and Villa had just been hammered by WBA and I was stifling laughter. The <deleted> got in his car and left me there so I managed to scrounge a lift off some Baggies and wound up in Droitwich pissed out of me head...

Too many people walk on eggshells around the Thais but best to treat them with the contempt they treat you with and just shut them out of your lives and crack on with it pal.

[thequietman]

Falang

Maybe he is, but thats not the reason.

Why do so many falang think Thais all hate us?

If that was the case I know I wouldnt go to Thailand, want to live there, marry a Thai and have a kid together.

To the OP, these pics of your kids, are the kids luk kreung or full falang from a previous lady?

The obvious answers that come to mind

1..they dont like you.

2..they are to lazy to hang pictures.(which I hope its this and suspect it is)

3..theyre jealous they havnt got what you have.

If your inlaws are anything like mine, then lazy would be high on the list. ie, to lazy to buy picture hangers and hang pictures.

you are one of these guys where the big sign on the door says 'Push' and you pull. Read the post, he already hung the pictures for them. they removed them and put them in a drawer.

[geriatrickid]

Has anyone considered that maybe some people resent being told to put up pictures of people? What right does anyone have to come into someone else's home and start giving decorating instructions? My father never had pictures of the family up in the house. It was my stepmother that has put the pictures up of family and she had quite the arguments doing it too. He didn't want to have to look at family pictures and I share that view too. My sister is insulted when I don't display pictures of her kids in my home. The lack of pictures doesn't mean someone doesn't care. It just means that pictures of family members hanging about are not a decorating desire for some people. Why is there an assumption that all grandparents want pictures of their grandkids hanging on the walls?

[CharlieH]

All this conjecture about maybe this or maybe that, has anyone thought of just asking them point blank ? look them straight in the eye and ask them straight out, why havnt you displayed the pictures ? if they give you a bullshit answer, like, havnt had time, you do it there and then, next time you go if they are still there no problem, if they have been removed you have your answer.

No need for all this guessing, just face the problem head on and deal with it, ASK !

For what its worth, my Thai wife said its totally unacceptable and very rude, if it is as you describe.

[giddyup]

Has anyone considered that maybe some people resent being told to put up pictures of people? What right does anyone have to come into someone else's home and start giving decorating instructions? My father never had pictures of the family up in the house. It was my stepmother that has put the pictures up of family and she had quite the arguments doing it too. He didn't want to have to look at family pictures and I share that view too. My sister is insulted when I don't display pictures of her kids in my home. The lack of pictures doesn't mean someone doesn't care. It just means that pictures of family members hanging about are not a decorating desire for some people. Why is there an assumption that all grandparents want pictures of their grandkids hanging on the walls?

Have you been to a Thai house where there aren't family pictures on the wall? Can't speak for every Thai, but generally they love pictures of kids especially.

[chiangmaikelly]

I think the old man is upset because the OP won't take them to Pattaya, if I remember another thread by the same person. I can understand that.

[HeavyDrinker]

Just <<snip>> em off. Leave the next move to them and get on with enjoying your life.

You've made all the effort so far.

If they want to see their grandkids then let them make the effort. If they don't, then your kids will be better off for not knowing ignorant bigots....

Edited October 6, 2012 by metisdead
: Profanity

[pauljones]

Were they nice to you BEFORE you bought them a house?

I'll bet they going around the village boasting how that dumb buffalo bought them a house.

[chonabot]

If someone bought me a house I would happily put up framed photos of everything they asked

( Any takers ? )

[somtumlion]

Why don't you ask them why they removed them?

Or is that too simple...?

[somtumlion]

Were they nice to you BEFORE you bought them a house?

I'll bet they going around the village boasting how that dumb buffalo bought them a house.

Spoken like a true expert who knows the Thai language fluently, so that he has an excellent background context to make the judgement.

[chiangmaikelly]

Why don't you ask them why they removed them?

Or is that too simple...?

I don't think the OP speaks Thai or lives in Thailand. Might be difficult.

[GuestHouse]

The thought occurred to me that it is a drunk Aussie who can't tell the ethnicity of his in laws.

I'm relieved to hear there was a thought process going on, perhaps not a very sharp one, but brain activity of some fashion or another.

[somtumlion]

Why don't you ask them why they removed them?

Or is that too simple...?

I don't think the OP speaks Thai or lives in Thailand. Might be difficult.

Hard to make an assessment of the situation without knowing all the facts.

[chiangmaikelly]

Why don't you ask them why they removed them?

Or is that too simple...?

I don't think the OP speaks Thai or lives in Thailand. Might be difficult.

Hard to make an assessment of the situation without knowing all the facts.

That sure is true. Give the kids to the grandparents for a couple of years. They will like them. Most grandparents do.

[somtumlion]

Why don't you ask them why they removed them?

Or is that too simple...?

I don't think the OP speaks Thai or lives in Thailand. Might be difficult.

Hard to make an assessment of the situation without knowing all the facts.

That sure is true. Give the kids to the grandparents for a couple of years. They will like them. Most grandparents do.

Not sure how not knowing the facts turns into give away your children for several years.

[robblok]

What would you guys do if your own parents removed the pictures of your children or of your wife. Would you accept that or make a fuzz.

People always say we have to adapt to the Thais but especially if you pay for them (even if not) they can adapt a bit to us too. It works two ways you know. I don't expect things to work here the western way, but i do expect them to care a bit about my feelings too.

Your wife / gf should convey the message, i know mine does adapt to my ways and i adapt to her ways. My family takes into consideration she is Thai and she understands they are foreigners. Both sides can give and take a bit its not needed for the farang to turn into a Thai.

Mixed relations both give in a bit, if you wanted a Western girl you should have married one.. and if she wanted a Thai she should have married one. So both can make some adaptions and tell the family about values of the other.

[somtumlion]

What would you guys do if your own parents removed the pictures of your children or of your wife. Would you accept that or make a fuzz.

People always say we have to adapt to the Thais but especially if you pay for them (even if not) they can adapt a bit to us too. It works two ways you know. I don't expect things to work here the western way, but i do expect them to care a bit about my feelings too.

Your wife / gf should convey the message, i know mine does adapt to my ways and i adapt to her ways. My family takes into consideration she is Thai and she understands they are foreigners. Both sides can give and take a bit its not needed for the farang to turn into a Thai.

Mixed relations both give in a bit, if you wanted a Western girl you should have married one.. and if she wanted a Thai she should have married one. So both can make some adaptions and tell the family about values of the other.

Great post!

[Kilgore Trout]

Thais are VERY concious of height of pictures (status). Those of your family are basically on the floor (bottom of cupboard as you mentioned).

They call your kids "falang???"

Their behavior is appalling, and after you bought them a house?? I think to them you are just a dumb white idiot.

I would tell them where they could go and never give them a satang or let them see their grandchildren again.

Imagine how they will treat your children when they get older.

[stoneyboy]

I would be telling them to jog on.

[barefoot1988]

if that happen to me, i would place a small table and incense pot infront of the photos and offer some joss sticks.

[Travel2003]

Not a cultural thing.

Not a hate thing.

Not a Falang thing.

Not a racist thing.

Just pure bad behavior.

Easy as that.

[jacktrip]

i would not stand for being called falang once your known and close in the family unit as you are.

how do we do that?

next time your standing in front of the pictures and they say falang, a firm 'thats jimmy' or if the problem persists a 'thats not a falang, thats jimmy' should do the trick.

Edited October 6, 2012 by jacktrip