Thai In Laws Culture Difference Or Insulting - You Decide!

[coolhandjoe]

If I read this thread correctly.

OP can't speak to his in-laws as there is no common language.

OP kids live in Australia and speak English.

The grandparents have no real link, no real contact and no means of meeting or communicating to the grandkids apart from sharing some DNA.

The grandparents have other children and other grandkids.

The grandparents did not request the photos but had them foisted upon them.

Perhaps

The grandparents feel sad when they see photos of grandkids they can never know, can never communicate to and will rarely if ever meet.

The grandparents feel as if their daughter's husband and children are total strangers whose culture and language they can never understand.

The grandparents feel that to put up the photos that they never asked for would be weird. Would you put up photos of cousins you had never met in your house?

I grew up barely knowing my uncles and aunts and the OP's reaction seems to be overly sensitive to me.

Best post of the tread - imo

That is a good summary thanks

[BigJohnnyBKK]

"Politeness" is in fact almost completely determined by culturally programmed behaviors.

How you choose to interact with your extended family members is of course up to you; in my case if I feel little rapport I only do the minimum required to be "polite" within my own cultures' mores AND those that I understand of the others'.

To everyone talking about how he's been scammed, absolutely none of your business how someone chooses to spend their own money as long as they're getting good value in the long term.

Sure, help warn ignorant fools in advance of the dangers, but if someone wants to shell out even a high percentage of their net worth in donations to the wife's family, what's the problem as long as he gets a happy lifelong relationship out of it - and many do!

Of course if he comes back here in a few years B&M about how he was scammed, then you can all gloat if you like, but maybe he's got a good one and things will work out - in which case no one can say he paid too much.

None of which IMO has anything to do with the gratitude or politeness of the recipients, better to consider it a charity donation or a payment for their daughter, not incurring an obligation on their part to play a role they may not feel comfortable playing.

Edited October 26, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[kevvy]

welcome to the world of thai families , i still cant get use to them but my wife is fantastic

[kevvy]

buy your future partner or family a house in a company name . its easy to do ...

[tingtongtourist]

This talk seem to be going more about buying the house rather than the picture.I think Thai should pass a law that farang money should never be used to buy Thai person a house.

oh wait one minute..but yes, they already did this law

Now the farang even break Thai law so he can give away free house and taken for ride,and then wonder why thai have no respect and think him stupid.

[dragons70]

I can understand the hurt and anguish about the apparent lack of love and respect shown towards your children/their grandchildren. However, try not to get too hung up about how they treat you. Im lucky, my Thai in laws are happy,respectful country people. But whilst we dont ignore each other, we rarely talk and just acknowledge each other briefly, thats all. After having a demon farang woman as my first mother in law, one of the things I love most about being married to a Thai is not having to talk to the in laws and getting involved in family bullshit. Embrace it my friend :-)