February 2, 200620 yr Q. How do you get two bagpipers to play in perfect unison? A. Shoot one. ------------------------------------------------------ Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion? A. No one cries when you chop up a bagpipe. ------------------------------------------------------ Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded? A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention. ----------------------------------------------------- Q. What's the definition of a gentleman? A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't. ------------------------------------------------------ Q. What's the range of a bagpipe? A. Twenty yards if you have a good arm. ---------------------------------------------------- Q. Why are bag pipers fingers like lightning? A. They rarely strike the same spot twice. ----------------------------------------------------- Q. How can you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune? A. Someone is blowing into it. ----------------------------------------------------- Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A. To get away from the sound. ------------------------------------------------------ Q. What's the definition of "optimism" A. A bagpiper with a beeper. Taoism: shit happens Buddhism: if shit happens, it isn't really shit Islam: if shit happens, it is the will of Allah Catholicism: if shit happens, you deserve it Judaism: why does this shit always happen to us? Atheism: I don't believe this shit
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