Please Tell Me What's Up With A 41 Year Old Beautiful Thai Who's Never Been Married?

[BookMan]

I've met many women like the OP describes here, and generally they are intelligent, educated and focused on their career/business rather than having fun like the majority. I find them quite admirable in an abstract sort of way, and

most would make a great life partner for a like-minded serious-type person.

Most of them aren't opposed to a relationship per se, but they haven't been working at finding a guy, and in the normal course of their lives haven't crossed paths with anyone meeting their standards, admittedly higher than average.

For me personally, they're way past their sell-by date, but then I've been here too long, and find my admittedly shallow standards have risen and risen as I've gotten older - I just wish my income would do the same 8-)

Good to see u back and posting in General BJBkk

[DrTuner]

With the career girls there is a difference. Where as their peers spent their 20's screwing their brains out and hopping in disco's, eventually learning of the wicked ways of the opposite sex, they can be practically beginners at an advanced age when it comes to courtship. Ripe for the plucking, opportunists might say. Something to put on the scales.

[kaorop]

With the career girls there is a difference. Where as their peers spent their 20's screwing their brains out and hopping in disco's, eventually learning of the wicked ways of the opposite sex, they can be practically beginners at an advanced age when it comes to courtship. Ripe for the plucking, opportunists might say. Something to put on the scales.

Teaching 40 something yrs old "beginners" the ways of the bedroom: not that much fun imo, also you will never get a suprise and probably some quite significant "wont do's"

[okman]

What she want from you?

Have you asked her?

[DrTuner]

With the career girls there is a difference. Where as their peers spent their 20's screwing their brains out and hopping in disco's, eventually learning of the wicked ways of the opposite sex, they can be practically beginners at an advanced age when it comes to courtship. Ripe for the plucking, opportunists might say. Something to put on the scales.

Teaching 40 something yrs old "beginners" the ways of the bedroom: not that much fun imo, also you will never get a suprise and probably some quite significant "wont do's"

I agree with you. However some do prefer to teach their wenches. Sort of an hobby, I guess. Or a dogma they are following. Each to their own.

It does make you wonder though, if you have to go through the trouble of showing the ropes, why not get a barely legal one with the benefit of youth ? The benefit mature women have is the general lack of nonsense, if that is not to be had, the question why begs to be be asked.

[NeverSure]

What she want from you?

Have you asked her?

Well, I've cooled my jets and told her I won't be able to see here until I move to LOS next year and she seems fine with that.

All she's ever indicated wanting is friendship, and hoping it would lead to more. She's never actually asked for anything. Of course she say's she's looking for marriage, and now says she's ready for it to be me. I don't take that too seriously because we've never met much less gotten to know each other.

I'm also not sure I want to get married again - it would take something really special.

I did find out that she makes more than 15k per month and has a house and a scooter. I hope she isn't up to her eyeballs in debt.

[okman]

What she want from you?

Have you asked her?

Well, I've cooled my jets and told her I won't be able to see here until I move to LOS next year and she seems fine with that.

All she's ever indicated wanting is friendship, and hoping it would lead to more. She's never actually asked for anything. Of course she say's she's looking for marriage, and now says she's ready for it to be me. I don't take that too seriously because we've never met much less gotten to know each other.

I'm also not sure I want to get married again - it would take something really special.

I did find out that she makes more than 15k per month and has a house and a scooter. I hope she isn't up to her eyeballs in debt.

If you haven't met her you won't know what's in her knickers then.

Her bank account and heart will be even more inaccessible.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Teaching 40 something yrs old "beginners" the ways of the bedroom: not that much fun imo, also you will never get a suprise and probably some quite significant "wont do's"

Some people don't have the same need for firm young flesh I guess, but I most vehemently disagree about the teaching part not being fun.

When you're the one revealing the "secrets" of sexual pleasure to a woman who's never experienced them, the results are often unpredictable and very rarely unpleasant. Sometimes they take on the new sport/hobby with a real passionate intensity and quickly become much more expert than most of the so-called professionals out there.

Good to see u back and posting in General BJBkk

Why thanks so much BookMan, in general it's great to "see" you again too 8-)

[GuestHouse]

She's probably married to her mother.

[tingtongtourist]

one thing to careful here LOS..lies lies lies and then again more lies...especially on internet is number1 tool for easy lies

Cannot to speak for this one woman but every female i meet tell this same story first time,and actually i cannot see how Thailand can be this big poulation seeing how no female ever married or have bf...according to them ,

but each woman after i get to know her further and even all her single friends..all have husband or ex, also lot of bf who give her nid noi every month

many smart even educated thai girl with money now on internet looking for farang to add to payee list. is easy cost nothing to find farang on internet and can tell him anything

[frankold]

I know in Bangkok a lot of very hot Thai girls set their bar too high and end up getting pumped and dumped time after time by rich Thai guys who would never consider marriage to them due to the class culture. Even though they've been using skin whitening cosmetics for years and do actually look the part.

I'd guess a lot of these hi-so/rich wanna be's are left with quite a bitter taste in their mouths about guys in general.

On the plus side as a white guy a lot of these stunners would genuinely consider a farang as an alternative to getting used and abused by rich Thai guys. Provided you tick the correct boxes and convince them its a good idea..

Perhaps ya teacher is one of these?

[NeverSure]

one thing to careful here LOS..lies lies lies and then again more lies...especially on internet is number1 tool for easy lies

Cannot to speak for this one woman but every female i meet tell this same story first time,and actually i cannot see how Thailand can be this big poulation seeing how no female ever married or have bf...according to them ,

but each woman after i get to know her further and even all her single friends..all have husband or ex, also lot of bf who give her nid noi every month

many smart even educated thai girl with money now on internet looking for farang to add to payee list. is easy cost nothing to find farang on internet and can tell him anything

Thanks. This general theme keeps coming up here and in other threads and I take it seriously. I've had enough time to decide that I'm not going to do "internet dating." I told the gal that I'll be in LOS later next year (after rainy season) and that if she's still around, I'll get ahold of her and visit her.

I also promised myself I'd never get married again and I won't back away from that easily. "Why buy the cow if the milk is free?"

I also have too many things to do to get ready on this end. I've changed my mind and decided to sell my home instead of keep it and giving to property management. That goes for a lot of other things I'll sell.

But, I did start the thread with an honest curiosity, and I've been given tons of good information. I appreciate it.

[NeverSure]

I know in Bangkok a lot of very hot Thai girls set their bar too high and end up getting pumped and dumped time after time by rich Thai guys who would never consider marriage to them due to the class culture. Even though they've been using skin whitening cosmetics for years and do actually look the part.

I'd guess a lot of these hi-so/rich wanna be's are left with quite a bitter taste in their mouths about guys in general.

On the plus side as a white guy a lot of these stunners would genuinely consider a farang as an alternative to getting used and abused by rich Thai guys. Provided you tick the correct boxes and convince them its a good idea..

Perhaps ya teacher is one of these?

Thanks. I don't know and that's the issue. This thread is loaded with information. I'm stopping being distracted and focusing on the job at hand.

Edited October 24, 2012 by NeverSure

[TommoPhysicist]

Thanks. I don't know and that's the issue. This thread is loaded with information. I'm stopping being distracted and focusing on the job and hand.

In the words of Thai ladies ....... you think too mut!

Promise her the world, shag her brains out, give her nothing.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

In my experience, the biggest challenge in meeting nice Thai girls is creating a suitable context where you meet them in person in the normal course of daily life.

The context as to how you meet the girl is critical to the viability of the future relationship.

Absolutely no place where alcohol in involved.

Certainly not the Internet.

If you are looking for tall, light-skinned, respected family, well-educated etc, you of course need to be suitable long-term mate prospect material, with the right combination of personal attractiveness - not talking physical only of course but it helps and financial security, or at least credible future prospects.

In which case it will be like shooting fish in a barrel.

If not, and you will need to resort to (or perhaps prefer) a rent-to-buy arrangement, then my advice is to very intensively learn Thai and get out to the upstream countryside source and find a nice young peasant girl fresh off the farm. Do your due diligence on her family at least as much as the girl herself.

But then if you're willing to settle for a 40-year-old (??!!) then you're back in fish-barrel territory, even more so in the latter context.

[NeverSure]

Thanks. I don't know and that's the issue. This thread is loaded with information. I'm stopping being distracted and focusing on the job and hand.

In the words of Thai ladies ....... you think too mut!

Promise her the world, shag her brains out, give her nothing.

I know you're joking, but I don't have it in me to break big promises to someone who's basically defenseless against it.

[NeverSure]

In my experience, the biggest challenge in meeting nice Thai girls is creating a suitable context where you meet them in person in the normal course of daily life.

The context as to how you meet the girl is critical to the viability of the future relationship.

Absolutely no place where alcohol in involved.

Certainly not the Internet.

If you are looking for tall, light-skinned, respected family, well-educated etc, you of course need to be suitable long-term mate prospect material, with the right combination of personal attractiveness - not talking physical only of course but it helps and financial security, or at least credible future prospects.

In which case it will be like shooting fish in a barrel.

If not, and you will need to resort to (or perhaps prefer) a rent-to-buy arrangement, then my advice is to very intensively learn Thai and get out to the upstream countryside source and find a nice young peasant girl fresh off the farm. Do your due diligence on her family at least as much as the girl herself.

But then if you're willing to settle for a 40-year-old (??!!) then you're back in fish-barrel territory, even more so in the latter context.

Well, I look pretty darned good for 66 years old, LOL. I still have all of my hair and a little bit of my wits. Well, maybe not the wits.

Some 40 year old Thai gals look pretty darned young to me. I take some of them for 30. A few are still really beautiful.

I don't want an off the farm gal, although it's great if she's from Isaan. I prefer the educated ones. I always did in the US too. My ex was highly educated, was an exec in a big hospital in the US, and pulls down major coin. I still don't really dislike her. We just drifted.

[chiangmaikelly]

In my experience, the biggest challenge in meeting nice Thai girls is creating a suitable context where you meet them in person in the normal course of daily life.

The context as to how you meet the girl is critical to the viability of the future relationship.

Absolutely no place where alcohol in involved.

Certainly not the Internet.

If you are looking for tall, light-skinned, respected family, well-educated etc, you of course need to be suitable long-term mate prospect material, with the right combination of personal attractiveness - not talking physical only of course but it helps and financial security, or at least credible future prospects.

In which case it will be like shooting fish in a barrel.

If not, and you will need to resort to (or perhaps prefer) a rent-to-buy arrangement, then my advice is to very intensively learn Thai and get out to the upstream countryside source and find a nice young peasant girl fresh off the farm. Do your due diligence on her family at least as much as the girl herself.

But then if you're willing to settle for a 40-year-old (??!!) then you're back in fish-barrel territory, even more so in the latter context.

Unless the foreign man speaks Thai he is just a chicken waiting to be plucked. Spend a couple of years in school learning Thai and one will not have to ask foolish questions about Thai women.

[somtumlion]

What business is it of yours. Find a hobby.

[chiangmaikelly]

What business is it of yours. Find a hobby.

I believe the OP asked a question and this is an open forum. Are you the new boss of Thai Visa?

[frankold]

I'd slightly disagree with the 'no place where alcohol is involved'. Everyone goes for a drink from time to time, just some more often than others. nowadays, with facebook and the like it's a lot easier to convince them to give some non to obtrusive contact details to keep in touch, especially after a few drinks.

Fair enough, you'd likely set a better initial impression if you hadn't met them while out on the piss in some club/pub though. But that can always be patched over with a bit of good ole bs...

[BigJohnnyBKK]

I'd slightly disagree with the 'no place where alcohol is involved'. Everyone goes for a drink from time to time, just some more often than others. nowadays, with facebook and the like it's a lot easier to convince them to give some non to obtrusive contact details to keep in touch, especially after a few drinks.

Fair enough, you'd likely set a better initial impression if you hadn't met them while out on the piss in some club/pub though. But that can always be patched over with a bit of good ole bs...

I was of course giving advice based on my own preferences, and I have no interest in a girl who has had any exposure at all to the nightlife scene. This obviously pre-screens so I don't need to reject based on tattoos, body piercing, smoking etc.

I also prefer girls who have no English at all beyond maybe singing the alphabet song, but unfortunately (for me) most of them become fluent within a couple of years and then off they go to find greener pastures (gullible fools with more money).

To each his own. . .

[frankold]

Erm.. define night life scene?

I think you'd be pushed to find any girl +21 who has never been out to party somewhere with her friends..

Edited October 25, 2012 by frankold

[CountSaintGermain]

In my experience, the biggest challenge in meeting nice Thai girls is creating a suitable context where you meet them in person in the normal course of daily life.

The context as to how you meet the girl is critical to the viability of the future relationship.

Absolutely no place where alcohol in involved.

Certainly not the Internet.

If you are looking for tall, light-skinned, respected family, well-educated etc, you of course need to be suitable long-term mate prospect material, with the right combination of personal attractiveness - not talking physical only of course but it helps and financial security, or at least credible future prospects.

In which case it will be like shooting fish in a barrel.

If not, and you will need to resort to (or perhaps prefer) a rent-to-buy arrangement, then my advice is to very intensively learn Thai and get out to the upstream countryside source and find a nice young peasant girl fresh off the farm. Do your due diligence on her family at least as much as the girl herself.

But then if you're willing to settle for a 40-year-old (??!!) then you're back in fish-barrel territory, even more so in the latter context.

Hey Johnny -- why the big NO for online dating?

You seem intelligent and educated. What's the score with hitting on little peasant farm girls? Don't you find them shallow and boring?

As to the kind of girls who ought to be avoided, I'd stay well clear of anyone connected with the tourist industry (especially hotel receptionists, barmaids, waitresses, etc).

[chiangmaikelly]

In my experience, the biggest challenge in meeting nice Thai girls is creating a suitable context where you meet them in person in the normal course of daily life.

The context as to how you meet the girl is critical to the viability of the future relationship.

Absolutely no place where alcohol in involved.

Certainly not the Internet.

If you are looking for tall, light-skinned, respected family, well-educated etc, you of course need to be suitable long-term mate prospect material, with the right combination of personal attractiveness - not talking physical only of course but it helps and financial security, or at least credible future prospects.

In which case it will be like shooting fish in a barrel.

If not, and you will need to resort to (or perhaps prefer) a rent-to-buy arrangement, then my advice is to very intensively learn Thai and get out to the upstream countryside source and find a nice young peasant girl fresh off the farm. Do your due diligence on her family at least as much as the girl herself.

But then if you're willing to settle for a 40-year-old (??!!) then you're back in fish-barrel territory, even more so in the latter context.

Hey Johnny -- why the big NO for online dating?

You seem intelligent and educated. What's the score with hitting on little peasant farm girls? Don't you find them shallow and boring?

As to the kind of girls who ought to be avoided, I'd stay well clear of anyone connected with the tourist industry (especially hotel receptionists, barmaids, waitresses, etc).

I dated two women in Chiang Mai. One was an executive at the Mandarin Oriental Dhara Dhevi and the other a singer at the local clubs. They both spoke excellent English which was a help as I was going to school 4 hours a day to speak Thai at the time. After the second term I found so much more opportunity as my language skills grew that I no longer went out with women who spoke English.

Thais are helpful to the Farang who speaks some Thai and asks for help to learn some more.

Speak Thai to the produce lady. Apologize for not speaking better Thai and ask her how to say garlic or onion. If she is cute and single a week of learning how to pronounce vegetables will get you a date.

[DrTuner]

Speak Thai to the produce lady. Apologize for not speaking better Thai and ask her how to say garlic or onion. If she is cute and single a week of learning how to pronounce vegetables will get you a date.

This is a good idea. I've always shagged all my language teachers. Nothing like free lessons in an stress free environment.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Hey Johnny -- why the big NO for online dating?

Way too sophisticated and worldly wise for my taste - plus I don't want any level of English, forget about writing ability, and my Thai's not that good.

You seem intelligent and educated. What's the score with hitting on little peasant farm girls? Don't you find them shallow and boring?

Actually I find the more modern educated ones even more so. But it's more that I don't look for intellectual stimulation from my sexual partners, honesty, sincerity, ambition to improve their life, native intelligence and of course youth, beauty, willingness and athletic abilities are at the top of the list.

As to the kind of girls who ought to be avoided, I'd stay well clear of anyone connected with the tourist industry (especially hotel receptionists, barmaids, waitresses, etc).

Yes, basically any exposure to urban environments or those involving foreigners.

Erm.. define night life scene?

I think you'd be pushed to find any girl +21 who has never been out to party somewhere with her friends..

You're absolutely right. But a couple of times, and to places where foreigners are hardly ever seen, wouldn't be a total disqualifier, that's not what I said. What I said was I'd never take on a girl that I met in that kind of environment.

I'm sure many here have heard it hundreds of times - "I'm just out having fun with my friends, I've hardly ever been here before, I hardly ever bai tio" - what percentage of such statements do you reckon are accurate?

But fact is I haven't been to such a place myself more than two or three times in over five years, so it's a moot point for me.

I realize that few people would go to as much trouble as I have to get off the beaten track, just learning enough Thai would count out most guys, just sharing what I think is the right way to go about it.

[DrTuner]

Yes, basically any exposure to urban environments or those involving foreigners.

How does that work ? I mean you've got BKK on your nick. You're making field trips or scouting at the bus station for newbies ?

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Yes, basically any exposure to urban environments or those involving foreigners.

How does that work ? I mean you've got BKK on your nick. You're making field trips or scouting at the bus station for newbies ?

Actually through word of mouth via friends and relatives of present and past partners, I currently have many more applicants than openings so I can afford to be so selective.

But I do regularly make trips upcountry and get introduced around. Once you're known as a "good farang" who keeps his word and won't be pimping their daughters out to work as prostitutes they come flocking.

I could probably start a matchmaking agency or something, but I wouldn't trust most of the farang I come across here, and the girls generally end up finding suitable mates down the road themselves, I don't look to get anything out of it financially.

[TwoDogz]

This thread useless without pics...including the 4 babe pals of blethers.