Please Tell Me What's Up With A 41 Year Old Beautiful Thai Who's Never Been Married?

[arthurwait]

I want to phrase this delicately so I don't upset the OP, and OP don't take it the wrong way.

Sounds like she's not interested in you. If she's not interested in you...everything else really doesn't matter. Like, "well if she's not interested in you there must be something wrong with her" or "it's a Thai cultural thing". Or maybe she's not into you. For whatever reason. Like, I know it's incredibly hard to believe, but some women just aren't into submaniac too. I know! Unbelievable, right?!?! But if "not interested" leave it be and move on. I don't need to speculate as to the reasons why. Whatever reasons for not being into you or not, or not finding the "right man" or whatever, it's her call. Maybe she was in love and had a tragic love affair...whatever. Not really anyone else's business as far as I am concerned.

I am awaiting the chorus of "if a woman doesn't fall for me then she's a lesbian."

I must have missed something. She contacted me, and has been PMing me about 3 times a day for a month. She says "I'm ready if you are." Now, I just have to figure out as much as I can, and decide if I'm catching a flight to LOS about 6 months before I move there.

This gal is gorgeous, just under 5' and about 95 pounds. She has a super sweet look on her face, her smile, and in her eyes. She's not a hard case like a bar girl in any way.

I maybe wrong but if she is educated then she will want to be with educated men. There may not be many around wjhere she lives in rural Thailand.

No disrespect to teachers but it not really a job well educated people do. She may have a masters degree, but one from Thailand isn't worth much. Apologies if it is one from abroad, but going and teaching in Thailand after doing a masters abroad is to me a little strange as it is a low paid job especially in a rural school.You may be makng too much of the masters. If she does have a masters from abroad I imagine she would be looking for a better paying job in Bangkok or abroad.

I'm forgetting the point of what I'm saying. erm...

I think the point I'm making is most educated people from my experience will work for the family business which pays better or as said look for a better paying job in Bangkok or abroad andlook for people with similar money and wouldn't really be interested in a teacher on teachers wages. Also the men in this position with the better jobs will get a wider choice of the women, we all like different things, but I've seen very few well off looking men with girls under 5 foot. They are usually with taller leggier girls.

Also at 41 she's about 11 years past her best before date for most Thai men.

As others have said be careful many girls on the net are bargirls and scam artists. My mates who come over on holiday have made this mistake. One girl was also under 5', a tiny little thing telling men on the web she had some job or other and was educated. Anyway before I met up with them my mate had got it out of her she had 4 internet boyfriends sending her money, I can't remember how, but the way she had incredibly annoying non-stop verbal diarrehoa about herself after a few drinks I think I can guess. Anyway no matter how many hints we gave about her going home or paying for a taxi for her to go home she never took them, so we went down Cowboy she proceeded to talk to a bouncer for at least half an hour like old friends. We asked if she knew him she denied it and said she had never been to Cowboy before. I asked one of the girls in the bar if she used to work there, yep she sure did.

Later when we did eventually go home she told us the best place to get a taxi (we already know to get one from Sukhumvit, just testing) and she led us upto and along Soi 23. Funny that as she had never been to Cowboy before.

Edit: I maybe completely wrong and hopefully it's what Theblether posted.

Edited October 18, 2012 by arthurwait

[somtumlion]

Carpet muncher?

I thought about that, or too independent. So why would she be on the internet two or three times a day for a year, looking for a farang? ??

Because she is looking for a farang? How is that at all hard to understand?

[somtumlion]

I want to phrase this delicately so I don't upset the OP, and OP don't take it the wrong way.

Sounds like she's not interested in you. If she's not interested in you...everything else really doesn't matter. Like, "well if she's not interested in you there must be something wrong with her" or "it's a Thai cultural thing". Or maybe she's not into you. For whatever reason. Like, I know it's incredibly hard to believe, but some women just aren't into submaniac too. I know! Unbelievable, right?!?! But if "not interested" leave it be and move on. I don't need to speculate as to the reasons why. Whatever reasons for not being into you or not, or not finding the "right man" or whatever, it's her call. Maybe she was in love and had a tragic love affair...whatever. Not really anyone else's business as far as I am concerned.

I am awaiting the chorus of "if a woman doesn't fall for me then she's a lesbian."

I must have missed something. She contacted me, and has been PMing me about 3 times a day for a month. She says "I'm ready if you are." Now, I just have to figure out as much as I can, and decide if I'm catching a flight to LOS about 6 months before I move there.

This gal is gorgeous, just under 5' and about 95 pounds. She has a super sweet look on her face, her smile, and in her eyes. She's not a hard case like a bar girl in any way.

I maybe wrong but if she is educated then she will want to be with educated men. There may not be many around wjhere she lives in rural Thailand.

No disrespect to teachers but it not really a job well educated people do. She may have a masters degree, but one from Thailand isn't worth much. Apologies if it is one from abroad, but going and teaching in Thailand after doing a masters abroad is to me a little strange as it is a low paid job especially in a rural school.You may be makng too much of the masters. If she does have a masters from abroad I imagine she would be looking for a better paying job in Bangkok or abroad.

I'm forgetting the point of what I'm saying. erm...

Teaching is not a job that well educated people do. Ye barstool prophet speaks...

[arthurwait]

Teaching is not a job that well educated people do. Ye barstool prophet speaks...

How much do they earn ?

[DrTuner]

Teaching is not a job that well educated people do. Ye barstool prophet speaks...

How much do they earn ?

I'd guess usual farang pensions are around 40-50k baht ?

[Rob8891]

I want to phrase this delicately so I don't upset the OP, and OP don't take it the wrong way.

Sounds like she's not interested in you. If she's not interested in you...everything else really doesn't matter. Like, "well if she's not interested in you there must be something wrong with her" or "it's a Thai cultural thing". Or maybe she's not into you. For whatever reason. Like, I know it's incredibly hard to believe, but some women just aren't into submaniac too. I know! Unbelievable, right?!?! But if "not interested" leave it be and move on. I don't need to speculate as to the reasons why. Whatever reasons for not being into you or not, or not finding the "right man" or whatever, it's her call. Maybe she was in love and had a tragic love affair...whatever. Not really anyone else's business as far as I am concerned.

I am awaiting the chorus of "if a woman doesn't fall for me then she's a lesbian."

I must have missed something. She contacted me, and has been PMing me about 3 times a day for a month. She says "I'm ready if you are." Now, I just have to figure out as much as I can, and decide if I'm catching a flight to LOS about 6 months before I move there.

This gal is gorgeous, just under 5' and about 95 pounds. She has a super sweet look on her face, her smile, and in her eyes. She's not a hard case like a bar girl in any way.

I maybe wrong but if she is educated then she will want to be with educated men. There may not be many around wjhere she lives in rural Thailand.

No disrespect to teachers but it not really a job well educated people do. She may have a masters degree, but one from Thailand isn't worth much. Apologies if it is one from abroad, but going and teaching in Thailand after doing a masters abroad is to me a little strange as it is a low paid job especially in a rural school.You may be makng too much of the masters. If she does have a masters from abroad I imagine she would be looking for a better paying job in Bangkok or abroad.

I'm forgetting the point of what I'm saying. erm...

Teaching is not a job that well educated people do. Ye barstool prophet speaks...

I bet he wasn't sitting down when he passed that comment!!

[cicinette]

Strange. If they don't need men financially then why are they looking for men?

Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. I smell a feminist.

Well, white women (not all of course) don t need men financially but are still looking for men

[NeverSure]

Strange. If they don't need men financially then why are they looking for men?

Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. I smell a feminist.

Well, white women (not all of course) don t need men financially but are still looking for men

And a white woman can be just as greedy as any other, and can marry for money, and can later dump the guy with a nice monetary settlement. I never had one ask for a buffalo or a tractor though.

[cicinette]

Strange. If they don't need men financially then why are they looking for men?

Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. I smell a feminist.

Well, white women (not all of course) don t need men financially but are still looking for men

And a white woman can be just as greedy as any other, and can marry for money, and can later dump the guy with a nice monetary settlement. I never had one ask for a buffalo or a tractor though.

As greedy as any other...you are sure about that?..well if it makes you feel better....There is also something that makes the difference, I would say back home, it s likely that women make as much money as men...here there is 99,9% chance men make more than thai women

[NeverSure]

Strange. If they don't need men financially then why are they looking for men?

Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. I smell a feminist.

Well, white women (not all of course) don t need men financially but are still looking for men

And a white woman can be just as greedy as any other, and can marry for money, and can later dump the guy with a nice monetary settlement. I never had one ask for a buffalo or a tractor though.

As greedy as any other...you are sure about that?..well if it makes you feel better....There is also something that makes the difference, I would say back home, it s likely that women make as much money as men...here there is 99,9% chance men make more than thai women

Well what I thought I said was that a white woman can marry for money. Many do. If the guy really has money compared to her, she can take him to the cleaners. My thought was that greed isn't limited to the color of skin.

[Rajab Al Zarahni]

I've met that female stereotype before. The thing that makes them so attractive is the perception that they appear interested in nobody. Perhaps they pose a threatening challenge to the male ego. I think some of them are women who have an unobtainable vision of a perfect partner and either never find him and as a consequence, remain single, or compromise and connect with somebody of lesser status as time takes its toll on their good looks. Another possibility is that notwithstanding her good looks and intelligence she is perhaps strongly introverted or deficient in the kind of social skills that are normally used to attract a mate. If she is as beautiful as you say and takes care of her appearance she is probably in the market for the right man. I suspect that it would be very hard to meet the expectations of a women of this kind.

Do you have her telephone number please?

[NeverSure]

I've met that female stereotype before. The thing that makes them so attractive is the perception that they appear interested in nobody. Perhaps they pose a threatening challenge to the male ego. I suspect that it would be very hard to meet the expectations of a women of this kind.

Then why is she emailing me 3 times a day, attaching photographs, etc? I know why she wanted to know if I was contacting other girls. She a Thai woman.

Do you have her telephone number please?

Only Skype. None of your business.

I have decided to cool it and see if she'll wait until I move there next year. If she still seems genuine and interested, I'll make a trip to her town and meet her, and see her at her school, and make sure she's real. Even then, there's no way I'd marry right away. If she can't wait until all of the bugs are out, she'll just have to look elsewhere.

I had promised myself never to marry again and I might just stick to that. There's a lot to be said for being single and having girlfriends. There's a lot to be said for being free to do what you want to do.

[phuturatica]

These days some women are earning their own way in order to not have to put up with any cr*p from men and I don't blame them. I should do the same.

Off topic here

But living with someone is about sharing, having a family and building a better life together.

If you think it's about putting up with cr*p from the other person, you aren't suitable marriage material. I have deliberately not specified genders as it works for either partner, and even same sex partners.

The way you worded that you were implying that if someone doesn't want to put up with cr*p from their partner then THEY are not marriage material? Surely the one who is handing out the cr*p is not suitable for marriage?

[Rajab Al Zarahni]

I've met that female stereotype before. The thing that makes them so attractive is the perception that they appear interested in nobody. Perhaps they pose a threatening challenge to the male ego. I suspect that it would be very hard to meet the expectations of a women of this kind.

Then why is she emailing me 3 times a day, attaching photographs, etc? I know why she wanted to know if I was contacting other girls. She a Thai woman.

Do you have her telephone number please?

Only Skype. None of your business.

I have decided to cool it and see if she'll wait until I move there next year. If she still seems genuine and interested, I'll make a trip to her town and meet her, and see her at her school, and make sure she's real. Even then, there's no way I'd marry right away. If she can't wait until all of the bugs are out, she'll just have to look elsewhere.

I had promised myself never to marry again and I might just stick to that. There's a lot to be said for being single and having girlfriends. There's a lot to be said for being free to do what you want to do.

Getting married is easy! Staying married is tough! She sounds like she might be into order,tidiness and cleanliness so be such you are compatible on this dimension. There's a lot to be said for being free and single and a lot to be said for one harmonious, romantic relationship. My problem is that whenever I achieve one I always want the other. Best of luck!

[NeverSure]

I've met that female stereotype before. The thing that makes them so attractive is the perception that they appear interested in nobody. Perhaps they pose a threatening challenge to the male ego. I suspect that it would be very hard to meet the expectations of a women of this kind.

Then why is she emailing me 3 times a day, attaching photographs, etc? I know why she wanted to know if I was contacting other girls. She a Thai woman.

Do you have her telephone number please?

Only Skype. None of your business.

I have decided to cool it and see if she'll wait until I move there next year. If she still seems genuine and interested, I'll make a trip to her town and meet her, and see her at her school, and make sure she's real. Even then, there's no way I'd marry right away. If she can't wait until all of the bugs are out, she'll just have to look elsewhere.

I had promised myself never to marry again and I might just stick to that. There's a lot to be said for being single and having girlfriends. There's a lot to be said for being free to do what you want to do.

Getting married is easy! Staying married is tough! She sounds like she might be into order,tidiness and cleanliness so be such you are compatible on this dimension. There's a lot to be said for being free and single and a lot to be said for one harmonious, romantic relationship. My problem is that whenever I achieve one I always want the other. Best of luck!

Interesting. From all pictures of her; her dress, her classroom, her home (as purported) show her bordering on perfectionist. She dresses in a very feminine way even at work. I would say she's a neatnik. I like that. I am too. But if it's obsessive compulsive it could drive anyone nuts. Those are things I'd need to experience.

Hey, I started this thread to find out where someone like that would be viewed in the culture, and how she could wind up at that age with that beauty and a humble though accomplished career, and be single.

Maybe the best answer is she likes girls, LOL. No, I've gotten a lot of good thoughts and I appreciate it.

What the hell are you doing up this time of night, LOL? It's noon here. Isn't it about 2:00 AM there, m/l?

[Rajab Al Zarahni]

Perfectionists are hell to live with and if they suffer from PMT then it's like living in the capital of hell, at least for some of the time each month. Why not try to engage her in a dialogue about personality testing and how you scored on Meyers -Briggs16PF With luck she might have done it or she might have a view on how she would have scored . If she is a dominant personality then that's OK providing you are submissive and easy going. All the best relationships are based on complimentarity.

[NeverSure]

Perfectionists are hell to live with and if they suffer from PMT then it's like living in the capital of hell, at least for some of the time each month. Why not try to engage her in a dialogue about personality testing and how you scored on Meyers -Briggs16PF With luck she might have done it or she might have a view on how she would have scored . If she is a dominant personality then that's OK providing you are submissive and easy going. All the best relationships are based on complimentarity.

Maybe. I've lived with two perfectionists and didn't mind it at all. And no, I'm not submissive.

You know what was true about both of them? No one would have ever guessed how they let loose in bed. Maybe that was their chance to escape, I don't know but they were hell on wheels and always ready. "Lady in the living room and a whore in bed."

I had by far the best sex with those two than any other, including the tramp looking types who didn't have a clue. The tramp looking types were all hat and no cattle. Dang, no you have me going.

I have no clue how two such modest and dignified in public gals could have let loose like that, but once they trusted they were hard to stop.

[BorisSpasky]

Here's a concept, instead of asking strangers on an internet forum what they think, why don't you just ask her?

Does everyone have to analyze everything to death these days before they step out their door and face the day?

So true.

[arthurwait]

There's only one way to find out.

If you don't intend to get married does she know this as she maybe hoping for a last shot at having kids ?

[maxme]

More likely is that she is old-fashioned and want to honor her family or she had bad experience with men. There is no need to spin it as these are the most common reasons in other countries as well.

[Jueputa]

So when are you meeting Somchai the motorbike taxi,who's sending you photos of his sister then?

[DrTuner]

I've lived with two perfectionists and didn't mind it at all.

Here's a clue for you: you wrote in past tense. What's there to keep two two and not count up +1 ? Meaning learn from your mistakes and change the course of action, target different women.

[Banzai99]

So when are you meeting Somchai the motorbike taxi,who's sending you photos of his sister then?

Or the Farang who is pretending to be a Thai woman hoping for some extra beer money from the lonely and desperate in far off lands.

Edited October 19, 2012 by Banzai99

[KeyserSoze01]

Here's a concept, instead of asking strangers on an internet forum what they think, why don't you just ask her?

Does everyone have to analyze everything to death these days before they step out their door and face the day?

Because I'm not asking about her. I'm asking about Thai culture, and what might be up with a single 41 year old, educated school teacher.

Yes, I don't know if she's real, but I wanted ideas on where she might stand in the culture and I got a lot of good suggestions as to what it might all be if she is for real.

I appreciate all of the thoughts I've been given.

Again, you are applying generalities to a person. Doesn't matter what culture they are from. Don't you think there are attractive 41 yo professional ladies from all cultures that have never been married? Same principal applies. It's not a cultural issue. Take a chance. What do you have to lose?

[Banzai99]

Take a chance, as long as it's not a Farang pretending to be a Thai woman, you should be ok.

The biggest liars, cheats and conmen I have met in Thailand have been Farangs, and I've been in Thailand a long time, so don't worry too much about the Thais.

Edited October 19, 2012 by Banzai99

[Dibbler]

Maybe she likes the company of women more than men???

[bobobo]

Maybe she's smart and intelligent ....

[elektrified]

Carpet muncher?

I thought about that, or too independent. So why would she be on the internet two or three times a day for a year, looking for a farang? ??

There are ones similar to what you have described who have been on the Internet looking for love for 5 or more years. They will probably never find it.

[breadbin]

Is she crap in bed? Has she got an attitude problem? BO? Bad breath? Fishy fanny? Hairy bird? Is she rude to people?

[BigJohnnyBKK]

I've met many women like the OP describes here, and generally they are intelligent, educated and focused on their career/business rather than having fun like the majority. I find them quite admirable in an abstract sort of way, and

most would make a great life partner for a like-minded serious-type person.

Most of them aren't opposed to a relationship per se, but they haven't been working at finding a guy, and in the normal course of their lives haven't crossed paths with anyone meeting their standards, admittedly higher than average.

For me personally, they're way past their sell-by date, but then I've been here too long, and find my admittedly shallow standards have risen and risen as I've gotten older - I just wish my income would do the same 8-)