Why Do Men Expect Bar Girls To Love Them?

[chiang mai]

The OP seems to overlook that BG's are people who have their non bar counterparts.

[thenervoussurgeon]

The OP seems to overlook that BG's are people who have their non bar counterparts.

Plenty i am sure ,but we are not discussing them ,only BG s and their male lovers.

ps. to be PC i suppose we should add gentelmen who fall for ladyboys and other men

Edited November 15, 2012 by thenervoussurgeon

[chiang mai]

The OP seems to overlook that BG's are people who have their non bar counterparts.

Plenty i am sure ,but we are not discussing them ,only BG s and their male lovers.

ps. to be PC i suppose we should add gentelmen who fall for ladyboys and other men

You should perhaps re-read and think about my earlier statement, BG's and their customers are both human beings.

[jacktrip]

Why Do Men Expect Bar Girls To Love Them?

They are morons?

or always drunk.

[GuestHouse]

First off,this is not having a go at bar girls or the few men who have found true love in the bar, although i always found that having lots of money makes you far more interesting and handsome(just look at Bernie Ecclestone,where would he have found a 6 ft model at his age if he was a roadsweeper)

Anyway i constantly read about guys who kill themselves because some bar girl or as they are called in other countrys ,hookers kill themselves when she desertes them .What did they expect ,its their job ,they are wrking ,and nobody works for free ,so when he cannot afford to pay her any longer ,she is off ,just like the gardener or the plumber if you couldnt pay for their services .

To anyone who has found true love in the bar ,this is not aimed at you ,best of luck .

do you lot agree?

Yes, you are having a go at them.

The 1st bold text indicates your intent.

The 2nd bold portion reveals your intent.

I think the above response provides an insight into the answer the question the OP is asking.

As the OP points out a prostitute is working for a living, when the John runs out of money the Prostitute goes looking for paid work elsewhere. Its business.

The John though might no accept the truth at the root of the relationship, he might, as "I Like Thai" object to the Prostitute being recognised as a prostitute/hooker.

The John's money runs out, the prostitute walks out and the John is suddenly reminded that the lie he has been telling himself is exactly that - a lie.

Loss and humiliation all rolled into one and everyone blaming the Prostitute, who's sex for cash work was likely the only honest part of the whole relationship.

Edited November 15, 2012 by GuestHouse

[mjj]

Are bar girls incapable of love?

To the OP. you could also ask the same question but replace bar girls with 'much younger girls'.

[TommoPhysicist]

Are bar girls incapable of love?

To the OP. you could also ask the same question but replace bar girls with 'much younger girls'.

I already covered both of these options in post #2

Try to keep up please!

[mjj]

I'm a bit tired. :-)

[farang000999]

A better question than the one presented in the first post is:

Why are farang in Thailand so obsessed with bar girls, even those who are supposedly married to normal women? It seems like every topic on this website starts off or leads back to this subject.

[mjj]

A better question than the one presented in the first post is:

Why are farang in Thailand so obsessed with bar girls, even those who are supposedly married to normal women? It seems like every topic on this website starts off or leads back to this subject.

It amazing isn't it. You would have thought it would be old news by now.

[chrisinth]

Back home, having money doesn't necessarily cut it as far as getting a woman to love you but even in instances where this may be the case, there's way too much competition from guys with more money than your average, bar regular. The overwhelming majority of ordinary, non-profit making women are a mystery to him. He just can't figure them out; they're way too complicated.

So here he is in Thailand where cash is known to level the playing field. Any insecure, socially-inept, sartorially-challenged gimp can pull a woman several notches above the heifers he had to knock about with back in Farangland. Here, the nuances of women and the things they expect - understanding, empathy, someone to lean on - can seemingly be successfully supplanted by regular and liberal application of a relatively insignificant amount of money.

Said loser can be heard thinking to himself,

"Jeez, this is great; I don't have to talk to her too much, she plays a mean game of pool, she cheers on my team in the footie, she shags well and whenever I want it and, to boot, she says she 'loves me'".

Somewhere along the line, however, the joker begins to develop genuine feelings for his bar bint. He forgets that the relatively small amounts of cash are her motivation and that their liaison is a purely financial transaction.

With the intensity of his brain-shaking orgasms fresh in his mind, he asks himself,

"How can she flirt with other men so easily? Why is she still getting text messages from that fat German? Why does her phone go on the blink so often and why does that Phichai moto-taxi guy have so much to say to her?"

In an effort to reassert control, our hapless love fool asks her to leave the bar in return for a stipend to help her family and a key to his apartment but, now that the financial outlay has move up a notch, he reasons that he has a right to control what she does, where she goes, who she sees and develops a habit for interrogating her friends. She likes the cash but she resents the manipulative streak her mark beau has developed and begins to rebel. Eventually, it becomes too stressful so she bounces him to the kerb, moves out and heads back to the bar.

Our Romeo drowns his sorrows, breaks down, accosts her at her bar, is rejected and heads off home to join the flying club

Hammer, Head, Nail HS, hammer, nail, head......................

[thenervoussurgeon]

I know many guys who come to Thailand and pay for sex think the girl truly loves him ,but if you went with a working girl in your home country would you think that she loved you?

what is it about being here that makes it differant?

Edited November 16, 2012 by metisdead
: Formatting.

[poanoi]

Hmm, i never found a hooker in my home country,

so i guess that's different.

[mrtoad]

I know many guys who come to Thailand and pay for sex think the girl truly loves him ,but if you went with a working girl in your home country would you think that she loved you?

what is it about being here that makes it differant?

She. Was the cashier , honest

[mauGR1]

I know many guys who come to Thailand and pay for sex think the girl truly loves him ,but if you went with a working girl in your home country would you think that she loved you?

what is it about being here that makes it differant?

The sun was hot, the beer was cheap, and the girl was smiling all the time

[topt]

I know many guys who come to Thailand and pay for sex think the girl truly loves him ,but if you went with a working girl in your home country would you think that she loved you?

what is it about being here that makes it differant?

How many guys on here have actually had a "relationship" (as opposed to just a one off quick shag) with a working girl in their home country to be able to really consider the question?

[norrona]

you are all seasoned pro's to the land of somchai, the previous posts prove that....

however if these people who do their crust over a girl they met in a bar are long standing and residing in Thailand then yes I can see the point to this thread....but come on surely the ones who lose and do themselves in are surely not savvy to Thailand and the way hookers work...

that said and has been mentioned previous, there are not many places I have visited in this world where you get the complete girlfriend experience for 1,000 baht a day plus expenses....maybe that is the answer to the OP?

[scorpio]

because they are human beings and not robots, whats the difference between a bar girl and any other girl thai or farang, hi - so or poor farmer ?

ok i,ll tell you.....they are more fun

[rizla]

You come into this world alone AND you go out of this world alone....

No reason why you cannot have a few pets along the way.....

Live it out as you want....better than being a zombie stuck in a rut....

[cheechoo]

If a good looking sexy woman treats you like a King, while you really are the Jester.

The woman farangs seem to marry are anything BUT sexy. They arent physically attractive at all!!!!!!

[cheechoo]

A better question than the one presented in the first post is:

Why are farang in Thailand so obsessed with bar girls, even those who are supposedly married to normal women? It seems like every topic on this website starts off or leads back to this subject.

When you get right down to the nuts and bolts, thai girls are why most of us are here. Thai is not known for much else.....maybe rice................hahahaha.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

because they paid for it ????

Like thinking you buy "class" just by paying the club fee

[lemoncake]

I think a huge number of bar girls really do fall in love with customers, after all it is only natural to have a feeling with someone. HOWEVER its her family who always makes the problem, which eventually ruins the relationship and takes any if not all feelings away.

Those blood sucking mother/father/brother and his wife who just sit on their asses, and expect to be supported.

[cheechoo]

I think a huge number of bar girls really do fall in love with customers, after all it is only natural to have a feeling with someone. HOWEVER its her family who always makes the problem, which eventually ruins the relationship and takes any if not all feelings away.

Those blood sucking mother/father/brother and his wife who just sit on their asses, and expect to be supported.

You surely post in jest!!!!!!!!!!!! im laughing, and i cant stop!

[lemoncake]

I think a huge number of bar girls really do fall in love with customers, after all it is only natural to have a feeling with someone. HOWEVER its her family who always makes the problem, which eventually ruins the relationship and takes any if not all feelings away.

Those blood sucking mother/father/brother and his wife who just sit on their asses, and expect to be supported.

You surely post in jest!!!!!!!!!!!! im laughing, and i cant stop!

what do you find so amusing? you do not think bar girls or hookers are capable of having feelings? or you do not believe 2 people can click at one point?

[cheechoo]

I think a huge number of bar girls really do fall in love with customers, after all it is only natural to have a feeling with someone. HOWEVER its her family who always makes the problem, which eventually ruins the relationship and takes any if not all feelings away.

Those blood sucking mother/father/brother and his wife who just sit on their asses, and expect to be supported.

You surely post in jest!!!!!!!!!!!! im laughing, and i cant stop!

what do you find so amusing? you do not think bar girls or hookers are capable of having feelings? or you do not believe 2 people can click at one point?

if a bargirl fell in love with me id be scared. After all IM one of those tourists..........................lol.

[lemoncake]

I think a huge number of bar girls really do fall in love with customers, after all it is only natural to have a feeling with someone. HOWEVER its her family who always makes the problem, which eventually ruins the relationship and takes any if not all feelings away.

Those blood sucking mother/father/brother and his wife who just sit on their asses, and expect to be supported.

You surely post in jest!!!!!!!!!!!! im laughing, and i cant stop!

what do you find so amusing? you do not think bar girls or hookers are capable of having feelings? or you do not believe 2 people can click at one point?

if a bargirl fell in love with me id be scared. After all IM one of those tourists..........................lol.

sorry still failing to see your point or what your comments have to do with my post

[cheechoo]

im not surprised sir. You think a large number of bargirls do fall in love w their custmers........................hahahahahaha!

ok sir.

[lemoncake]

im not surprised sir. You think a large number of bargirls do fall in love w their custmers........................hahahahahaha!

ok sir.

and yet still no connection to my post, but that is about right, considering you are a tourist as you stated with not much understanding of Thailand.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

sorry still failing to see your point or what your comments have to do with my post

Let me help

I believe as you do that some genuine love relationships emerge over time from those that start out as purely transactional.

However the vast majority of men in relationships with sex workers that think they are genuinely loved are being deceived by the girl in order for her to secure either long-term financial security or perhaps looking to get as much short-term gain as possible and then move on. As long as the money keeps flowing, the deception may continue, even until death do them part.

VAST majority.

You don't know for sure until either the money really does run out, or you create a staged scenario so convincingly that she really believes it has.

The problem with that "test" is you may be driving away someone who does really love you but isn't willing to put that factor ahead of ease, comfort and supporting her family.

Now, by answering as you did, you cause others to speculate that you may fall into the "sucker" category and don't know it.

Another cause for them to think that is your general statement that the girls are sincere and it's the fault of her leeching family. This also may seem overly naive to some, as many girls will use their suffering family as one of the tools in their manipulation arsenal.

Are the reasons for mocking laughter more clear now?

Personally, I think "does she really love me" is the wrong question. The right questions IMO are "Is she making me happy?" and "Is the amount I'm paying for that service fair and sustainable over the long term?"

If love, or a reasonable facsimile thereof emerges, then consider that icing on the cake, but don't let it influence you into paying more upfront than you'd be willing to walk away from as soon as the answer to either of those questions starts to tilt towards "no".