Considered Opinion Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 (edited) I just experienced a similar case in my thai wife`s family.. Her sister is married to a thai man, and their son is 28 years old. He just "married" a barely 12 year old girl, with both his and the girls parents` blessing. Even borrowed the money from his dad to pay for her, in traditional thai style. I of course brought it up when I heard about it, and said that this is absolutely not acceptable for me. The parents did not even understand what was wrong about it, and I was told that this was not unusual, and it was not any of my business. My wife and I have dropped the contact with them now, and I wonder every day if I should tell the authorities about it. So far I have chosen to look the other way, but it makes me sick to think about it. What a sick world we live in. Why do you live in Thailand if things that have been done for centuries, so revolt/concern/challenge you and your sensibilities? What a stupid question. Luckily my wife, who is 100% thai, is as much sick to her stomach as I am. Thai people in general understand that this is unacceptable, and there are laws to prevent this from being normal. The fact that things has been done like this for centuries, does not mean we should just let it go on in the future. It is our duty as parents to protect children from being abused. Your wife will project exactly what she believes you want her to project. Can I suggest you go to the authorities about the relative, and then see how long you remain in the bosom of the family. Days at best, in my considered opinion. As to stupid question, you obviously don't live in a farming area. Somewhere near a western style hospital I would guess, perhaps a nice church as well? No one with HIV/AIDS, no beggars, plenty of hi-so around (but not related since Hi-Sos don't do this dreadful stuff. Edited January 14, 2013 by Considered Opinion 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unanimosity Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I just experienced a similar case in my thai wife`s family.. Her sister is married to a thai man, and their son is 28 years old. He just "married" a barely 12 year old girl, with both his and the girls parents` blessing. Even borrowed the money from his dad to pay for her, in traditional thai style. I of course brought it up when I heard about it, and said that this is absolutely not acceptable for me. The parents did not even understand what was wrong about it, and I was told that this was not unusual, and it was not any of my business. My wife and I have dropped the contact with them now, and I wonder every day if I should tell the authorities about it. So far I have chosen to look the other way, but it makes me sick to think about it. What a sick world we live in. Why do you live in Thailand if things that have been done for centuries, so revolt/concern/challenge you and your sensibilities? What a stupid question. Luckily my wife, who is 100% thai, is as much sick to her stomach as I am. Thai people in general understand that this is unacceptable, and there are laws to prevent this from being normal. The fact that things has been done like this for centuries, does not mean we should just let it go on in the future. It is our duty as parents to protect children from being abused. The reason Thais will act upset about parents selling kids is not for the reason you think. It is not because of human rights or child abuse. It is because it is a class thing. While elites don't sell their kids because it is deemed a lower class behavior, they aren't especially upset about it. Like most other demonstrations of Thainess, actions and reactions are more for show than for any fundamental belief system. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ducdwb1 Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 What will happen to the scumbag whom forced himself on this little girl? He should pay with his life. Make an example and put a stop to whats happening to this innocent children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kotsak Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 (edited) I think this news clip is related.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58xqbr-32Cc Edited January 14, 2013 by kotsak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whidbeyboy Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Is said man Thai or farang? Can't help but wonder how desperate the parents were. They said the man and his relatives say he did nothing wrong which would indicate he was a local. Most single falang dont have many relatives I think, and the fact that they thought he did nothng wrong sounds cultural. I know my relative in the US would think it was wrong. Unfortunatly, this is what happens in countries that ofer little in the way of education and oppurtunity for young woman and they are considered objects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samjaidee Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Disgusting! Thai culture or just the need of money? Thai culture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldsailor35 Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I just experienced a similar case in my thai wife`s family.. Her sister is married to a thai man, and their son is 28 years old. He just "married" a barely 12 year old girl, with both his and the girls parents` blessing. Even borrowed the money from his dad to pay for her, in traditional thai style. I of course brought it up when I heard about it, and said that this is absolutely not acceptable for me. The parents did not even understand what was wrong about it, and I was told that this was not unusual, and it was not any of my business. My wife and I have dropped the contact with them now, and I wonder every day if I should tell the authorities about it. So far I have chosen to look the other way, but it makes me sick to think about it. What a sick world we live in. Did you think of asking the girl how she thought about it, if not, you bloody well should have and if she was against it then you should have gone to the police. Just turning your back means that you are as bad as them and it should be haunting you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bri1guy Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 The age of consent for sexual activity vary by jurisdiction across ASIA, from age 13 to age 18. The specific activity engaged in or the gender of its participants can also be affected by the law. The age of consent in Thailand is 15 as specified by article 279 of the Thai Criminal Code. Thai Culture or ways they do things in the province ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metisdead Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Overly derogatory and inflammatory posts and replies have been removed. A post containing a link to Bangkok Post has been removed as per forum rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GentlemanJim Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 What a terrible thing to do to your own flesh and blood. Sick and distrubing parents!! I doubt the parents know any different and probably both suffered a life of abuse as Children. The telling thing is when people commit crimes, they generally know they have done wrong. These folks don't know what all the fuss is about. Still I guess now all the kids have computer tablets up there the education issue will be resolved Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post johnnycthedog Posted January 14, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted January 14, 2013 I just experienced a similar case in my thai wife`s family.. Her sister is married to a thai man, and their son is 28 years old. He just "married" a barely 12 year old girl, with both his and the girls parents` blessing. Even borrowed the money from his dad to pay for her, in traditional thai style. I of course brought it up when I heard about it, and said that this is absolutely not acceptable for me. The parents did not even understand what was wrong about it, and I was told that this was not unusual, and it was not any of my business. My wife and I have dropped the contact with them now, and I wonder every day if I should tell the authorities about it. So far I have chosen to look the other way, but it makes me sick to think about it. What a sick world we live in. Why do you live in Thailand if things that have been done for centuries, so revolt/concern/challenge you and your sensibilities? To Considered Opinion - I guess on that basis we'd still have black slaves in the US, 10 year old boys working in the coal mines in the UK etc etc etc. It would be so if people hadn't sought to change things. OK we're not in a position to change these things in Thailand but Thaibreaker's entitled to have an opinion on this topic and if it upsets his morals then so be it. I certainly don't agree with 12 year girls being married off. Legalised prostitution/rape of a minor? So are you saying every foreigner who resides in Thailand and who finds the rape of a 12 year offensive should p*ss off back to their country of birth????????? Fear to express an opinion or turning the other way when something is wrong is definitely a guarantee that practice will continue unchallenged. If enough people express a genuine concern to the authorities then the wheel might slowly start to turn. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Considered Opinion Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I just realised what we have (mostly) missed. He actually jumped her pre-nuptials. That changes everything. The bride price is about face saving so she won't be seen as a slut. also she will be difficult to get rid of as a bride when she is actually of age.. That actually makes him guilty of molestation and has nothing to do with the bride issue at all.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magmur Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 (edited) Hi all, don't blame it on Thailand, I'm 57 years old woman, born in a small mountain village in Austria, it was (and in some cases still is!!)very common that during the long winters daughters had to be at their male relatives and dad's pleasure, my aunt had a child from my grandfather, it's one of the most carpeted crime all over the world!!!!!!!!!!! How many foreigners come to TH for child sex with boys/girls, there was a TV report in germany where those people where interviewed with blackened faces to keep them anonymous. How many cases of longterm harassment and even hiding daughters and fathering their children have been come up recently in Europe???how about the recent gang-raping incidents in India which even happen there in public?In Africa a survey reports that over 80% of girl over 13years old had been abused in some kind or full by male relatives. The scandal with a decade long child abuse ring which came up in Belgium some years ago included over 300 well educated and respected male academics all over Europe, most of them in high positions with wife and children.They were able to get their names kept secret and still live a hononrable life, who asks about the victims? When Gandhi married his wife he was 14 she was 13. Sad,sad,sad Edited January 14, 2013 by magmur 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaibreaker Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I just experienced a similar case in my thai wife`s family.. Her sister is married to a thai man, and their son is 28 years old. He just "married" a barely 12 year old girl, with both his and the girls parents` blessing. Even borrowed the money from his dad to pay for her, in traditional thai style. I of course brought it up when I heard about it, and said that this is absolutely not acceptable for me. The parents did not even understand what was wrong about it, and I was told that this was not unusual, and it was not any of my business. My wife and I have dropped the contact with them now, and I wonder every day if I should tell the authorities about it. So far I have chosen to look the other way, but it makes me sick to think about it. What a sick world we live in. Did you think of asking the girl how she thought about it, if not, you bloody well should have and if she was against it then you should have gone to the police. Just turning your back means that you are as bad as them and it should be haunting you. This is not as black and white as you put it, there are many things to consider for me here. Most important, I have a thai wife who can lose her contact with her whole family, so no, I haven`t asked the girl. And don`t put the responsibility on me here, I feel that I did what I can do to a certain point. I brought it up and tried to reason with the parents. Not much more more I can do in this situation, without putting my wife in the line of fire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChillBill Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Is said man Thai or farang? Can't help but wonder how desperate the parents were. Based on the customary two-tier pricing, a farang would have had to pay at least 4000 to the greedy swine who call themselves parents. Totally revolting!!! Most writers here seemingly do not understand thailand or even basics of human behaviour. 2000 bahts was thai price and because man was someone from the same village propably more richer and higher status family so that girl's poor family had not much choice. Just trying to save face of everyone. If farang would do the same to some unknow girl the price would not be even close to 4000 bahts or he would have very good luck. There would be family trying to milk much more but especailly thai police would be getting their big share. If Farang would have money enough and some brains he would leave after paying to police anough immediadly from the country. It's evil what happened and actually i dont think the minimal amount of money that family wanted make it more sick. Just they let it to happen or they did not have any other choice in the Thai social hierarchy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tragickingdom Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 nothing is ever what it looks likes in these cases. It does not seem to me that the parents ave permission to have sex with the girl. Given the amount involved I would be very suspicious it are either very poor people, the girl makes up the story or the parents are under huge pressure of the man involved. Pavena is always the first to seek media attention even without properly investigating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markt7081 Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 (edited) Sad & Sick story, Happens all over the world A BIG BIG congratulations to the people who reported it. Edited January 14, 2013 by metisdead : Bold removed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkady Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I think this kind of thing is still quite common in villages but what must have raised eyebrows was the offer of only Bt 2,000. Rape is made respectable in soap operas where the woman is too shy and riap roy to admit that she wants to be bonked and then she marries him. In villages the puu yai agree that the girl was probably at fault and force the boy to marry her. If she is under 15, the parents can apply to the court for exemption from the statutory rape provisions of the Penal Code, so they can legally live together as man and wife. A couple of years later the meagre sin sot is long gone and so is the man, leaving the girl to bring up a baby by herself. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simple1 Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 (edited) I just realised what we have (mostly) missed. He actually jumped her pre-nuptials. That changes everything. The bride price is about face saving so she won't be seen as a slut. also she will be difficult to get rid of as a bride when she is actually of age.. That actually makes him guilty of molestation and has nothing to do with the bride issue at all.. No he didn't "jump her", nor was it molestation, she was sexually assaulted. For some reason you are using words trivialising the sexual assault, why is that? Sexual assault & child marriage are both offenses under Thai law. However, according to post #139 their are workarounds Edited January 14, 2013 by simple1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thai at Heart Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I think this kind of thing is still quite common in villages but what must have raised eyebrows was the offer of only Bt 2,000. Rape is made respectable in soap operas where the woman is too shy and riap roy to admit that she wants to be bonked and then she marries him. In villages the puu yai agree that the girl was probably at fault and force the boy to marry her. If she is under 15, the parents can apply to the court for exemption from the statutory rape provisions of the Penal Code, so they can legally live together as man and wife. A couple of years later the meagre sin sot is long gone and so is the man, leaving the girl to bring up a baby by herself. The distasteful thing is that the parents can apply to make the "crime" disappear. It encourages exactly this type of outcome, so that the problem appears to vanish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thai Dreamer Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 This story is interesting , in that it sort of shows rape as a relative concept. With a western family, if a man came over and had forced sex with your 13 year old daughter all hell would break loose. Here it appears that forced sex with a daughter seems to be a non issue, with the mother offering to sell her daughter the next day to the rapist. That leads me to two conclusions. 1. The mother is deranged, or the maternal instinct portion of her brain is missing. 2. This practice is widespread, so to the mother no big deal. I was pleased to see that her fellow villagers did not feel the same way, and raised the alarm. Just think, if this can happen for the motivation of $60 and many people think that similar practices are wide spread in some regions for their own daughter, what do you think the answer would be to this question, "Will you kill the farlang for $500?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siamnatural Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 I recall reading about an American rock star (Jerry Lee Lewis) who married his 14 y/o first cousin 50+ years ago. I seriously doubt if this type of behavior is limited to Thailand although circumstances vary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostinisaan Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 (edited) "The man and his relatives protested that he had done nothing wrong. They said that there were other men in the village who had married and lived with girls who were 12 or 13 years old." You can't blame that on lack of education, do you? Just thinking about the kids I'm teaching makes me sick. They're 13... Edited January 14, 2013 by lostinisaan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
me313 Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 This same sort of situation has made headlines in India--and worldwide, in the latest spate of bus rapes and the issue of rape and how victims are treated by authorities/society. The issues brought up are that when girls get raped like this, they are encouraged to marry the rapist, thus redeeming her as a "chaste" woman (according to proponents of rape). Double-standard, without a doubt. I'm so glad this young woman is receiving some justice or at least help from neighbors and the Thai organization for women. As someone else noted, 15 years old is not an appropriate age for a rape victim to legally be forced to marry the rapist and have no legal recourse. There should be no age limit for any victims of rape and forced marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
me313 Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 This story is interesting , in that it sort of shows rape as a relative concept. With a western family, if a man came over and had forced sex with your 13 year old daughter all hell would break loose. Here it appears that forced sex with a daughter seems to be a non issue, with the mother offering to sell her daughter the next day to the rapist. That leads me to two conclusions. 1. The mother is deranged, or the maternal instinct portion of her brain is missing. 2. This practice is widespread, so to the mother no big deal. I was pleased to see that her fellow villagers did not feel the same way, and raised the alarm. Just think, if this can happen for the motivation of $60 and many people think that similar practices are wide spread in some regions for their own daughter, what do you think the answer would be to this question, "Will you kill the farlang for $500?" You were correct with choice #2. The practice is widespread. It's probably a very old custom too, here in Thailand and in other countries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nisa Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 (edited) These incidents are much rarer in Thailand and other places where poverty and education is improving. Thailand is often cited as an example of success in terms of reducing such incidents of selling a child into marriage (rape). However, these incidents are going to happen regardless of what country, including the most modern, when it comes to financially desperate parents who lack morals and certainly shouldn't be viewed as an acceptance or culture of that country. If such incidents were part of the culture and accepted then it is doubtful they would be newsworthy locally when they occur. Edited January 14, 2013 by Nisa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
me313 Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Is said man Thai or farang? Can't help but wonder how desperate the parents were. Based on the customary two-tier pricing, a farang would have had to pay at least 4000 to the greedy swine who call themselves parents. Totally revolting!!! Most writers here seemingly do not understand thailand or even basics of human behaviour. 2000 bahts was thai price and because man was someone from the same village propably more richer and higher status family so that girl's poor family had not much choice. Just trying to save face of everyone. If farang would do the same to some unknow girl the price would not be even close to 4000 bahts or he would have very good luck. There would be family trying to milk much more but especailly thai police would be getting their big share. If Farang would have money enough and some brains he would leave after paying to police anough immediadly from the country. It's evil what happened and actually i dont think the minimal amount of money that family wanted make it more sick. Just they let it to happen or they did not have any other choice in the Thai social hierarchy. Your input is probably the most correct of anyone who has written here--this sort of story is not new, but people do not read the types of journals or alternative media sources which would report such incidents. I think it must be a very common practice in many countries. "Saving face" is probably the most unfortunate but real assessment of the situation for why the mother "sold" her daughter into marriage after rape, but there might be the element that she just doesn't care about her daughter too. Or maybe she was similarly victimized herself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanlic Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 (edited) Hi all, don't blame it on Thailand, I'm 57 years old woman, born in a small mountain village in Austria, it was (and in some cases still is!!)very common that during the long winters daughters had to be at their male relatives and dad's pleasure, my aunt had a child from my grandfather, it's one of the most carpeted crime all over the world!!!!!!!!!!! How many foreigners come to TH for child sex with boys/girls, there was a TV report in germany where those people where interviewed with blackened faces to keep them anonymous. How many cases of longterm harassment and even hiding daughters and fathering their children have been come up recently in Europe???how about the recent gang-raping incidents in India which even happen there in public?In Africa a survey reports that over 80% of girl over 13years old had been abused in some kind or full by male relatives. The scandal with a decade long child abuse ring which came up in Belgium some years ago included over 300 well educated and respected male academics all over Europe, most of them in high positions with wife and children.They were able to get their names kept secret and still live a hononrable life, who asks about the victims? When Gandhi married his wife he was 14 she was 13. Sad,sad,sad Of course you blame Thailand it happened in Thailand who else can you blame....At the same time every country has the right to decide what they believe to be right. The USA and the UK eg have different rules regarding what you can do and cant do regarding age and our/their moral standards are a lot different to many other countries but it doesn't mean we are always right. A classic example is the man you mention Ghandi who was actually a year younger than you say he was when he got married. What you fail to point is was that she stood by him until her death, they had a good marrigae and had 4 children together. Huge difference between some poor kid being forced to have sex and someone getting married within the countries laws even if it does seem to disgusting to us because we have been brought up. Law as we know it in Bangkok eg is all but non existant in most villages that allows theem to get away with this type of thing. That's sad and it's also Thailand's resposibility Edited January 14, 2013 by Tanlic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BEVUP Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 All should be locked up Its Illegal But what does happen is that if the daughter of a mother is seeing a boy she will demand money from the boys parents since she is spending a lot of time with him Its happening across the road from me & girls mother wants 50,000 bht Im thinking by christ their only 16 - Want be happening with my son Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
denishuahin Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 (edited) When i first came to Thai I wonder why all these girls sell their selves. Talking with a few one of which was reasonably intelligent. She was about 25 at this time and told me at 13 her mother and father put up for “sale” to the highest bidder. A powerful man in the her village of Hua Hin paid the highest price. She said she stayed a while then he told her to go back home he didn’t want her anymore. She told me this is still in practice all over Thailand so I dug deeper. The real start of the “Bar Girls” was French man “farang “ came to fight and want RR, so it was an extension of Thai culture of getting a gift for the girls .Which has been going on since before anyone can remember. Just like 1000's of mums in Issan do now. Not like the farang world when every girl who gets married in white is a virgin. Culture takes many twists and turns. Edited January 14, 2013 by denishuahin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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