Married Woman, What To Do

JohanBKK · January 16, 2013

BookMan, your comment is the only acceptable comment on this topic. Thank you very much for your thoughts.

JUDAS · January 16, 2013

BookMan, your comment is the only acceptable comment on this topic. Thank you very much for your thoughts.

I wonder why you waste the time starting the topic? It's clear from the above post that you only want to hear "go for it". But as bookman rightly points out, it's your moral compass that'll make the decision. Bear in mind though, as time passes you might just realize that the erosion of moral values cab lead to an erosion of your own self respect.

beano2274 · January 16, 2013

If you had a GF who was French and living in Europe with your kid, how would you feel if another guy came along and started showing her some affection, or if she started taking a like to another guy, am sure you would have a different attitude to the one you keep describing here.

A general rule for most guys I have known has been "If it is with someone else it is OOB" (OOB - Out of Bounds).

Edited January 16, 2013 by beano2274

Berkshire · January 16, 2013

BookMan, your comment is the only acceptable comment on this topic. Thank you very much for your thoughts.

Because he's the only one telling you what you want to hear? I don't even agree with his comment that "many relationships start in this way." But at least you've proven one thing: Being gullible and foolish applies to farang guys of all ages in Thailand, old or young.

beano2274 · January 16, 2013

Also they are married (although not legally), in the eyes of their family, friends and in the eyes of their religion (as monks attended the wedding ceremony).

JohanBKK · January 16, 2013

I don't believe in religion, i believe only in legal paperwork. They don't have any, they are just not married in my own eyes and not in the eyes of her mother also. That guy was a foolish to pay a sin sod without the paperwork that normally comes with it. Before i had a problem with this matter because i thought they were married, but they are not, problem solved for me. They don't have papers, they don't live together, her mother is asking her to find someone else everyday. For me their relationship endeed a long time ago, it's not because they have sex once a month that they are still together, i still have sex with girls i liked before when i meet them, that doesn't mean they can't go with other guys.

If my wife want to go with another men it's her problem, if that woman don't love you anymore she's free to go with another guy. I don't see the problem with that, it applies to my own wife also. Right now she don't like this guy anymore, she feel forced to stay with him, why should anyone feel forced to stay with someone they don't like anymore ?

A party in a village with a few monks it's not a marriage, a marriage is legal paperwork, a real commitment. If her mother says it's ok and all her familly also i don't see any problem. Also that thai guy can't say anything, he's not legally married and nobody from her familly would say they are married. He will just loose his girl friend, happenned to me a lot of times, i survived. Also, having a baby without being legally married is not very nice, no excuses for him.

I started this topic without knowing all the facts, before it was almost obvious that i should have broke up with her, but now it's obvious that i need to continue with her.

beano2274 · January 16, 2013

There are two parts to a marriage in Thailand, one is the family wedding with the monks blessing the second part is the legal marriage, you can do the parts at any time.

Remember he is also the legal father of the child, something you will not be without his consent, so no Passport for the child if he does not want you to go out of Thailand with his child.

Edited January 16, 2013 by beano2274

CMTourist · January 16, 2013

I don't believe in religion, i believe only in legal paperwork. They don't have any, they are just not married in my own eyes and not in the eyes of her mother also. That guy was a foolish to pay a sin sod without the paperwork that normally comes with it. Before i had a problem with this matter because i thought they were married, but they are not, problem solved for me. They don't have papers, they don't live together, her mother is asking her to find someone else everyday. For me their relationship endeed a long time ago, it's not because they have sex once a month that they are still together, i still have sex with girls i liked before when i meet them, that doesn't mean they can't go with other guys.

If my wife want to go with another men it's her problem, if that woman don't love you anymore she's free to go with another guy. I don't see the problem with that, it applies to my own wife also. Right now she don't like this guy anymore, she feel forced to stay with him, why should anyone feel forced to stay with someone they don't like anymore ?

A party in a village with a few monks it's not a marriage, a marriage is legal paperwork, a real commitment. If her mother says it's ok and all her familly also i don't see any problem. Also that thai guy can't say anything, he's not legally married and nobody from her familly would say they are married. He will just loose his girl friend, happenned to me a lot of times, i survived. Also, having a baby without being legally married is not very nice, no excuses for him.

I started this topic without knowing all the facts, before it was almost obvious that i should have broke up with her, but now it's obvious that i need to continue with her.

I do truly believe that in this girl and her family each of you have found your perfect match

beano2274 · January 16, 2013

I don't believe in religion, i believe only in legal paperwork. They don't have any, they are just not married in my own eyes and not in the eyes of her mother also. That guy was a foolish to pay a sin sod without the paperwork that normally comes with it. Before i had a problem with this matter because i thought they were married, but they are not, problem solved for me. They don't have papers, they don't live together, her mother is asking her to find someone else everyday. For me their relationship endeed a long time ago, it's not because they have sex once a month that they are still together, i still have sex with girls i liked before when i meet them, that doesn't mean they can't go with other guys.

If my wife want to go with another men it's her problem, if that woman don't love you anymore she's free to go with another guy. I don't see the problem with that, it applies to my own wife also. Right now she don't like this guy anymore, she feel forced to stay with him, why should anyone feel forced to stay with someone they don't like anymore ?

A party in a village with a few monks it's not a marriage, a marriage is legal paperwork, a real commitment. If her mother says it's ok and all her familly also i don't see any problem. Also that thai guy can't say anything, he's not legally married and nobody from her familly would say they are married. He will just loose his girl friend, happenned to me a lot of times, i survived. Also, having a baby without being legally married is not very nice, no excuses for him.

I started this topic without knowing all the facts, before it was almost obvious that i should have broke up with her, but now it's obvious that i need to continue with her.

The village marriage was done with the family so the mother gave her blessing for the marriage, some Thais are also not legally married but married in the village, this is also acceptable.

Seems the mother is going back on her word, after getting the sinsod wants more money, so in my eyes a money grabber, who has now seen a new ATM for her daughter, and is pushing her to bag this new ATM.

Edited January 16, 2013 by beano2274

Bosse137 · January 16, 2013

Would be interesting to know your views on this whole thing,including your current reasoning,after one or two years... Could you please let us know,thanks in advance!

bigbamboo · January 16, 2013

Is this guy for real?

JUDAS · January 16, 2013

Legally married. You are in Thailand so you better adjust your western way of thinking in some regards. I'm off to tell my in-laws who thought they were married for over 40 years and raised 4 children that they have been living in the twilight zone as they're village wedding means nothing.

rene123 · January 16, 2013

You will get no support from me. I caught my husband in MY bed with a "former" friend. There are some things you just shouldn't do, no matter how tempting. Let them split up and wait a year. If she is still available then it MIGHT be okay to start a new friendship. But, I've heard that jilted men can be dangerous long after a marriage is over. The OJ Simpson story is a good example.

Did your former friend and ex husband stay together?

Simple answer... NO. Those type of relationships seldom work out for either party.

And, in the OP's case I doubt if his will either. If you have no morals then anything goes and you can expect whatever might happen to you. As I already mentioned, if two people actually love each other then they will both be prepared to wait until they are both legally free of any encombrances. I believe the OP is just rationalizing the facts to back up his own wants. The mother in law is just looking at the situation from her own greedy way of thinking... more money for herself.

Honkie · January 16, 2013

There are two parts to a marriage in Thailand, one is the family wedding with the monks blessing the second part is the legal marriage, you can do the parts at any time.

Remember he is also the legal father of the child, something you will not be without his consent, so no Passport for the child if he does not want you to go out of Thailand with his child.

You think OP cares about the child ? Nupe , all he wants is a bit of fun with this so called friend of his.

tuky · January 16, 2013

There is really only one plausible solution here JohanBKK.

I am sure others will agree as it has yet to be brooched.

If the husband has been calling you, you will have his number.

Call him up and ask to meet him for a coffee as you have something to discuss. Now it is up to you if you think his wife should come or not. That ball is in your court.

Meet him and start talking in a friendly manner.

Tell him you have been shagging his wife but you didn't mean any harm. Make sure he understands that you do not want to break up the marriage as even though he is a poor Thai, against all odds he seems like a good man.

Tell him you know about the 200k sin sod.

Tell him you still want to continue shagging his wife as she is Thai and therefore shagging is all she is good for.

Now comes the business part, tell you want to make him an offer.

Start low, but suggest if you pay him THB 5,000 per month he continue to let you share his wife. Maybe alternate nights, his wife stays with you and he takes care of the baby, odd nights you take care of the baby and he gets his wife for the night.

If 5k is too low then up it a little. Mind you if it gets above 10k a month then you have to introduce a little more into the mix for yourself. Say, a friend every now and then. Suggest he can watch also if he would like.

I personally would not above 30k per month for a deal like this. But 30k per month would mean she is available to you any time you want, and you can also share her around with your friends. 30k is a lot of money for a poor Thai guy like her husband, so he will probably jump at the chance to make that kind of money.

YOU MUST reassure him that he will also be able to use his wife sometimes. But only if you or your friends are not busy with her. Perhaps you could buy a webcam and open an internet site so he can log on if he misses his wife, he can still watch her getting pounded by the Frenchman and his friends.

But here is the killer blow, charge him for membership to the website...

Payboy · January 16, 2013

Any chance of a set-up for me with the mother-in-law? She must be only 40ish.

JohanBKK · January 16, 2013

Mother is 42 Payboy.

Payboy · January 16, 2013

Mother is 42 Payboy.

Sounds good.

JohanBKK · January 16, 2013

Payboy it would be fun if i pay the sin sod to you lol.

BookMan · January 16, 2013

OP, one other factor in this equation.

The divorce you are currently going through, and the kids you already have with your current wife.

How much is this an influence on you wanting to be with this new woman?

Are you jumping from one bad one to another?

Thoughts?

Berkshire · January 16, 2013

There is really only one plausible solution here JohanBKK.

I am sure others will agree as it has yet to be brooched.

If the husband has been calling you, you will have his number.

Call him up and ask to meet him for a coffee as you have something to discuss. Now it is up to you if you think his wife should come or not. That ball is in your court.

Meet him and start talking in a friendly manner.

Tell him you have been shagging his wife but you didn't mean any harm. Make sure he understands that you do not want to break up the marriage as even though he is a poor Thai, against all odds he seems like a good man.

Tell him you know about the 200k sin sod.

Tell him you still want to continue shagging his wife as she is Thai and therefore shagging is all she is good for.

Now comes the business part, tell you want to make him an offer.

Start low, but suggest if you pay him THB 5,000 per month he continue to let you share his wife. Maybe alternate nights, his wife stays with you and he takes care of the baby, odd nights you take care of the baby and he gets his wife for the night.

If 5k is too low then up it a little. Mind you if it gets above 10k a month then you have to introduce a little more into the mix for yourself. Say, a friend every now and then. Suggest he can watch also if he would like.

I personally would not above 30k per month for a deal like this. But 30k per month would mean she is available to you any time you want, and you can also share her around with your friends. 30k is a lot of money for a poor Thai guy like her husband, so he will probably jump at the chance to make that kind of money.

YOU MUST reassure him that he will also be able to use his wife sometimes. But only if you or your friends are not busy with her. Perhaps you could buy a webcam and open an internet site so he can log on if he misses his wife, he can still watch her getting pounded by the Frenchman and his friends.

But here is the killer blow, charge him for membership to the website...

I find myself strangely aroused just visualizing this scenario. Oh nevermind....

beano2274 · January 16, 2013

Just noticing the OPS other post about wanting a divorce, does your wife want a divorce cause she found out about you and this woman?

You say your wife will not have sex with you, well a bit obvious if you have had sex with this married woman

Edited January 16, 2013 by beano2274

tuky · January 16, 2013

Just noticing the OPS other post about wanting a divorce, does your wife want a divorce cause she found out about you and this woman?

You say your wife will not have sex with you, well a bit obvious if you have had sex with this married woman

http://www.thaivisa....r/#entry5982557

JohanBKK, maybe you need to make 3 phone calls, gather your wife, the poor Thai Husband and your girlfriend together for a coffee and lay out the plan I suggested earlier?

Ofcourse in this new scenario no money would need to change hands. Win Win

JohanBKK · January 16, 2013

tuky i never heard an idea as stupid as yours before. Sorry.

LaoPo · January 16, 2013

If you had a GF who was French and living in Europe with your kid, how would you feel if another guy came along and started showing her some affection, or if she started taking a like to another guy, am sure you would have a different attitude to the one you keep describing here.

50% of the French do so....to the other 50% of the French, kids included

The only problem a lot of French have nowadays is the Gay marriage problem NOT an affair or a Ménage à Trois

LaoPo · January 16, 2013

There is really only one plausible solution here JohanBKK.

I am sure others will agree as it has yet to be brooched.

If the husband has been calling you, you will have his number.

Call him up and ask to meet him for a coffee as you have something to discuss. Now it is up to you if you think his wife should come or not. That ball is in your court.

Meet him and start talking in a friendly manner.

Tell him you have been shagging his wife but you didn't mean any harm. Make sure he understands that you do not want to break up the marriage as even though he is a poor Thai, against all odds he seems like a good man.

Tell him you know about the 200k sin sod.

Tell him you still want to continue shagging his wife as she is Thai and therefore shagging is all she is good for.

Now comes the business part, tell you want to make him an offer.

Start low, but suggest if you pay him THB 5,000 per month he continue to let you share his wife. Maybe alternate nights, his wife stays with you and he takes care of the baby, odd nights you take care of the baby and he gets his wife for the night.

If 5k is too low then up it a little. Mind you if it gets above 10k a month then you have to introduce a little more into the mix for yourself. Say, a friend every now and then. Suggest he can watch also if he would like.

I personally would not above 30k per month for a deal like this. But 30k per month would mean she is available to you any time you want, and you can also share her around with your friends. 30k is a lot of money for a poor Thai guy like her husband, so he will probably jump at the chance to make that kind of money.

YOU MUST reassure him that he will also be able to use his wife sometimes. But only if you or your friends are not busy with her. Perhaps you could buy a webcam and open an internet site so he can log on if he misses his wife, he can still watch her getting pounded by the Frenchman and his friends.

But here is the killer blow, charge him for membership to the website...

LaoPo · January 16, 2013

Just noticing the OPS other post about wanting a divorce, does your wife want a divorce cause she found out about you and this woman?

You say your wife will not have sex with you, well a bit obvious if you have had sex with this married woman

http://www.thaivisa....r/#entry5982557

The OP is a busy man, or a good troll

Payboy · January 16, 2013

Payboy it would be fun if i pay the sin sod to you lol.

No, please I insist - package deal and all that. Gotta live up to my name too.

Edited January 16, 2013 by Payboy

Morakot · January 16, 2013

OP, you're 26 years old and prepared to take someone who already has a child?

tuky · January 16, 2013

tuky i never heard an idea as stupid as yours before. Sorry.

No need to apologise, for a really stupid idea I suggest you read the OP in the thread below.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/611960-married-woman-what-to-do/

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