What Do You Do Or Say?

[banglay]

A neighbour and friend who works off shore near Koh Samui 3 weeks on 3 weeks off …. His wife is obviously playing away with a local worker (Maybe husband/boyfriend who knows) what do I do or say….My wife says it is non of my business and I should say nothing ..

What should I do or say for the best???? .....he is blissfully happy

[Boyce]

I would not say anything , it could backfire on you for being a gent. in the first place..

[darrendsd]

If it was a very good friend in the same situation back at home I would not hesitate to tell him.

Here however is a different matter, think about what problems could arise for yourself if you decide to tell him

[manarak]

ask your friend the same question you are aksing here, telling him it's about someone else you know

[jpinx]

You will invoke the wrath of the wife, the lover and possibly even your friend if you tell.

It's a poisoned chalice.....

[glegolo]

Maybe stand up like a man, and treat your neighbour like you

want to be treated yourself... I understand the problem, but sometimes

if it feels "right", you must do the right thing and just tell him....

Why not tell him 50% and let him figure out the rest himself.

Glegolo

[BlackPuddingBertha]

"What should I do or say ...."

It's none of your business so just look after your own life.

I wouldn't even be thinking about what if anything is going on next door to me as long as it doesnt frighten the horses or keep me awake.

[Dorkers]

casting a long bow, but what if the 'bloke on the side' has a few more girls on the side. Then Mr Koh Samui has the pleasure of running a risk of catching something in the pants down department care of his Mrs playing hooky with the 'pool cleaner'.

If he is your mate, and your instincts are backed up with some evidence, then tell him what you know and let him deal with it. Maybe he knows about it already.

Just my opinion.

[pinfold]

What would your mate think of you when eventually he finds out ,which he will, and you knew of it too? He would hate you Better for him to be told,,cut his losses and move on

[norrona]

get photographic evidence and post it to him anonymously....

[jimmybkk]

3 possible outcomes as I see it. #1 is what you want and #2 & #3 you don't want (so the odds are not really in your favour):

1. He takes the news calmly, gives you a slap on the back, thanks you for telling him and assures you that he will handle it in an appropriate fashion and your name will never get mentioned.

2. He goes nuts, storms off to confront her and tells her it was you that told him. (Absolute worst case scenario here is that you somehow got it wrong and she's innocent). If it's true you have now screwed up her life and she will hate you for it forever. Beware possible revenge attack. If it's not true they will both hate you. Beware possible revenge attack.

3. He refuses to believe a word you've said and thinks you're either mistaken or else just stirring up the sh*t. Worst case scenario he tells her what a crazy thing you've just told him and she's now your sworn enemy. In any event, he no longer considers you a friend. Beware possible revenge attack.

Your best case scenario is to find a way for him to find out the truth for himself, and do what you can to point him in that direction without him ever knowing that's what you were doing.

Good luck. Not a nice situation for anyone.

[pinfold]

Tell him for Gods sake. Too many situations when farang husband has been killed. The boyfriend or husband will be controlling her to extract as much as she can out of him

You might just save his life

Edited February 1, 2013 by pinfold

[manxninja]

Tell him straight.

Too many people scared of what will happen , jees grow some balls.

[endure]

Do you actually have any evidence that his wife is being unfaithful or are you making assumptions? What does 'obviously' mean?

[MAJIC]

The last time I told an aquaintace that his wife was playing around with another guy,while he was away working,he called me a liar,and gave me a load of verbal abuse,and threatened me with violence....never again,will I mention anything of this nature!

Edited February 1, 2013 by MAJIC

[Banzai99]

Maybe he knows, you know, there are many people in this world that have open relationships, perhaps he can't tell you about his open arrangment, for obvious reasons it would seem, you just can't keep a secret can you,you have to air it on here.......

Your wife, well, only you can trust her word , right ?

[Banzai99]

Tell him for Gods sake. Too many situations when farang husband has been killed. The boyfriend or husband will be controlling her to extract as much as she can out of him

You might just save his life

LOL, I love these paranoid Farangs......tell me, have you ever actually been to Thailand ?

[crisp]

Try putting yourself in his shoes, wouldn't you want to be told?

I know i would,,,, & to know your friend didn't say anything once she is found out ...what kind of friend is that?

[Banzai99]

Try putting yourself in his shoes, wouldn't you want to be told?

I know i would,,,, & to know your friend didn't say anything once she is found out ...what kind of friend is that?

He might be shagging her too, be fair.

[luckyluke]

His wife is playing away

with a local worker

he is blissfully happy

Apparently 3 contented people.

You want to change that?

[banglay]

Do you actually have any evidence that his wife is being unfaithful or are you making assumptions? What does 'obviously' mean?

The only evidence I have is what I have seen for myself but no hard photographic evidence to back it up .so it would be my word against her's .

I have dropped a few subtle hints to him like " you should squirrel some cash away for a rainy day as you never know what's around the corner sort of thing .

And that he should get a few tilt/pan IP security cameras fitting in and outside his house (for his own peace of mind of cause) which he can then check online to see everything is OK whilst he's working away .which she totally veto'd ( I wonder why??)

[pinfold]

Ask him to come home unexpectedly soon

[beachroadlover2]

get photographic evidence and post it to him anonymously....

I do that all the time with people/companies that could "find" me.

[Nisasina]

If he will come back to your home un expectable, you should be with him in case he may loose out of control to do something crazy or that guy from his wife cans beat your friend. At least, you could help your friend.

[pinfold]

Tell him for Gods sake. Too many situations when farang husband has been killed. The boyfriend or husband will be controlling her to extract as much as she can out of him

You might just save his life

LOL, I love these paranoid Farangs......tell me, have you ever actually been to Thailand ?

You ever read a newspaper?

[toenail]

Wow! the first reaction is a "Thai reaction" - none of your business. Turn your head and act like you don't know it is happening...Then one has heard how Thai wives have clean out her farnang husbands bank account or (like the other post mentioned) the new bf could try to kill him.(sounds crazy, but it happens in LOS). I like the photo suggestion and write an annomous note to him.

[UKJASE]

you got to tell him man... he's your mate......

you just got to decide the best way to tell him....... if he is the calm type, you can tell him straight...... if he is of a tempestuous nature, make sure you tell him when he is sober, and there are no blunt instruments about

[Appert]

If it is a good mate(friend) I think you are almost obliged to tell him or at least give him a hint so he will discover it himself. The 'its none of your business' excuse is kind of selfish in my opinion. In my country people get beaten up by groups, while people are witnessing the incident and scared as hell they will also get a beating, so they say: its none of my business. Encroaching decrepitude of society's moral compas.

I would, however, be very very sure she is actually comitting adultry before informing your friend.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Rimmer]

Over the top sugestion removed also quoted reply