lujanit Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 (edited) I was watching a documentary on The Pirate Bay (TPB AFK) yesterday and in it there is the marriage 'ceremony' between Fredrik and Lee. Where I am really confused. The plane lands in Vientiane yet the conversation at the Amphur suggests Thailand. Quoted from the doco: Official to Fredrik: Because of our tradition and the regulations of the village you have to pay for the engagement. How much would you like to pay? (all in english) Fredrik: $6000 Official: 200,000 baht? Fredrik: Yes Official: If you leave her you have to pay the bride the dowry times two. That means 400,000 baht. Agreed? Fredrik: Yes The fact that baht instead of kip is used strongly suggests Thailand. I have some questions: Is what the official said to Fredrik about having to pay for the engagement and double that if he leaves her a normal practice and does it apply to both Thais and farang? Is this a sort of organized sin sod? Did Fredrik have to pay up the entire 600,000 baht to someone or just the engagement dowry? I could foresee a real problem if 'someone' was holding the 'divorce' money in escrow. Edit, my lousy spelling Edited February 11, 2013 by lujanit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigt3365 Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 This one will go sideways quickly. Best we move it over to the marriage forum. Topic Moved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somtampet Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 A village wedding is not legal,a dowry is traditional for thais,not just rip offfarangs,and maybe this is udon,and the planelaned at Vienienne or close. Never heard about paying if u leave a thai wife,as the marriage is not legal purely as a village wedding Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 ''A nice little earner Rodney'' 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h90 Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 dowry is tradition....not law, or regulation, many modern Thais in the city don't pay any, or just symbolic (get returned after the ceremony). The rest is complete bs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigt3365 Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 A village wedding is not legal,a dowry is traditional for thais,not just rip offfarangs,and maybe this is udon,and the planelaned at Vienienne or close. Never heard about paying if u leave a thai wife,as the marriage is not legal purely as a village wedding I seem to remember a dowry of some $1MM USD a few years ago between a Thai guy and his "wife". Many times the dowry is just for show (face) and is returned the next day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgs2001uk Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 Is this a sort of organized sin sod? Sounds more like daylight robbery. From what you describe above, as mentioned by another poser BS. This was a horse and pony show, nothing official about it, so dont know why the word "official' is used more like village headman. At the amphur office this stuff is never mentioned. All this stuff would have been trashed out with the parents before a marriage ever took place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pormax Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 I had a rural village Thai wedding as well as the official marraige ceremony (if sitting in front of a peson behind a desk filling in forms can be called a ceremony) Never heard of money given for the engagement or having to pay double if marraige fails. The sin sod is given to the parents of the bride as a way of repayment for taking away a potential earner from the family but in some cases (Thai & Thai) is used to build a house for the couple in the village as well as paying for the cost of the 3/4 day party. The amount asked or given has a lot to do with 'face' in the village and sometimes a good proportion of the money is returned to the couple after the ceremony. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lujanit Posted February 11, 2013 Author Share Posted February 11, 2013 This was a horse and pony show, nothing official about it, so dont know why the word "official' is used more like village headman. At the amphur office this stuff is never mentioned. Okay I used the word 'Official' to describe the person conducting the proceedings and I used 'amphur' because I thought that's where they were, neither word is used in the doco. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamescollister Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 Live on the Thai / Lao land border, may be Thailand, but Lao speaking etc. Much of the Sin Sod is all show, I paid, but in real money terms BILs payed more than me. Buddha blessing, lasted 6 months, 100,000 Baht plus party gone. Gold was given to MIL, she sold the gold to buy fertilizer for our rubber trees. Smoke and mirrors and never heard you pay if you leave. Farang myths are everywhere, but many just get on with life, Thai and farang, some pay Sin Sod others don't. It's about face and show, status where you live. Showing status will pay if you are going to live in a more remote area, will make no difference if in Pattaya, Samui or Phuket, Too many really rich Thais there. Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ice1318 Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 From what I understand a village "marriage ceremony" isn't a marriage at all. Bhuddism considers marriage a purely secular matter and nothing to do with religion. The monks are not marrying you officially or unofficially they are simply giving you a blessing. Presumably they are blessing the civil marriage that has already taken place. Think in this case the details have been trashed out in advance by the family and relaid to the "official" who is simply reiterating this in front of as many witnesses as possible to make old Fredrik feel morally, if not legally, obliged in the event of things going pear shaped.Can't blame 'em for wanting to do their best for one of their own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 From what I understand a village "marriage ceremony" isn't a marriage at all. Bhuddism considers marriage a purely secular matter and nothing to do with religion. The monks are not marrying you officially or unofficially they are simply giving you a blessing. Presumably they are blessing the civil marriage that has already taken place. Think in this case the details have been trashed out in advance by the family and relaid to the "official" who is simply reiterating this in front of as many witnesses as possible to make old Fredrik feel morally, if not legally, obliged in the event of things going pear shaped.Can't blame 'em for wanting to do their best for one of their own. Nooooo, think it is just a ''ceremony'' to make the village happy that two folk are doing stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ice1318 Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Transam, I can understand that. I suppose the monks are just blessing the couple. Nevertheless, there are plenty of farang who believe that the village ceremony is a marriage / wedding albeit not as recognised as the Amphur civil marriage ceremony. Occasionally they'll go through the village"ceremony" only and spend the rest of their lives thinking they are married. But hey ! if it helps in anyway to keep couples together (and gives the locals a party to remember) long may it continue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Transam, I can understand that. I suppose the monks are just blessing the couple. Nevertheless, there are plenty of farang who believe that the village ceremony is a marriage / wedding albeit not as recognised as the Amphur civil marriage ceremony. Occasionally they'll go through the village"ceremony" only and spend the rest of their lives thinking they are married. But hey ! if it helps in anyway to keep couples together (and gives the locals a party to remember) long may it continue. Some folk who can't afford the monk thingy, have a local head man do his talk on a microphone, another type of village ''marriage''. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hanuman2543 Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 The payment for the engagement is called "Kongman". It is in opposit to the "Sin Sod" only for the bride. It will become the "Sin Suan Tua " of the bride. In case she not marries the groom it must be given back to the groom. You find more about it in the CCC starting from section 1435. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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