Wife Have Taken A Loan

[Putu94]

A good friend of me came to me with a question

His wife have has taken a loan , without he knew and, it turn out it was the second time to pay her first loan

Will he be held responsible ?

She has a job , 6000 bath a month but her debts are 12000 bath a month so that will be soon a problem

In my opinion , not, he sign nothing and even he not no anything about it., till he find a letter that she has to pay.

They have a good relation in the marriage and having children, living in a rented house , so he will not go to a lawyer

My friend lives here on a retirement visa.

Greetings

[Mario2008]

If he is legally liable or not is partly irrelevant, they are married and it is going to affect him one way or the other if only by the fact that his wife will not have any money. The best way is to try and sort things out, otherwise it will strain his marriage.

I know some credit companies like GE will offer to reduce the debt to 50%, if it is paid back in one time.

[GooEng]

good to hear that companies like GE can work things out in some cases, but are they interested in getting involved in sorting out loans held with local (village) money lenders who's rates are truly extortionate?

[Putu94]

Thanks so far

If the problem is that they are officially married, I could give him the advice to go to Amphur for a divorce

They are also married in the Temple , I should say in any case they remain married, it is only a "paper"

[mike123ca]

If he is legally liable or not is partly irrelevant, they are married and it is going to affect him one way or the other if only by the fact that his wife will not have any money. The best way is to try and sort things out, otherwise it will strain his marriage.

I know some credit companies like GE will offer to reduce the debt to 50%, if it is paid back in one time.

Mari is correct,

I think financial problems are the biggest cause of divorce.

It appears the wife has a problem with budgeting. She should communicate

more with her husband and maybe the husband should take control of

the financing until this debt is resolved. Next step is to reducing the debt.

Therefore they should try to work out a plan where they can achieve specific

objectives. Try refinancing at a lower interest rate.

Talk with the people who are owed money.

[Mario2008]

Thanks so far

If the problem is that they are officially married, I could give him the advice to go to Amphur for a divorce

They are also married in the Temple , I should say in any case they remain married, it is only a "paper"

A divorce will mean a division of assets (half of the "gains" made during the marriage, which will include (certain) debts). That might make it costly/problematic, but all depends on the individual circumstances.

[Putu94]

A question more

If you are divorced , is it possible to married the same wife again but then with a marriage settlement ?

What will be the time between divorce and married again?

Edited April 15, 2013 by Putu94

[USNret]

Were I in this situation (and I was once, with my filipina wife), prior to the loan if they had a good & loving relationship, I would probably pay off the loan myself to avoid issues with the rest of the village. There is no way the wife, on her own, will be pay this off in any reasonable way & it will inevitably lead to further problems both in the marriage & among the locals in the village. Paying it off immediately in full is a cheap way to avoid lots of future trouble.

This "generosity" comes with a strict admonishment never to do this again. Particularly not in secret; financial decisions like this should be jointly made between husband & wife. Her failure to abide by that, and the breach of trust it implies, is subject to severe repercussions as mentioned above. It leads to the discussion of what she needed the money for & why did she feel that she couldn't approach her husband about this. It's like unpeeling the onion.

I found my filipina wife unable to follow these simple rules. She continued to weave ever more intricate webs of deception which collapsed around her & enveloped me. Thus the "ex-" now preceding her title.

[Totster]

Without knowing the full story..

I would probably just pay the loan, why is he making his wife, who you say he has a good relationship with, struggle to pay the loan (why did she need the second loan, when he could have probably fixed it).

This is what people in good relationships with children do, they help each other even if there has been a stupid mistake made.

There has to be more to this.

totster

[uptheos]

What is the total debt of your wife?

Is it with a reputable company or is she paying 12,000 a month on something silly like 50,000 from a shark.

Can you pay it off, is it within your means

Loan sharks settlements can be extortionate.

[Morden]

What is the source of the loan?

[Putu94]

Without knowing the full story..

I would probably just pay the loan, why is he making his wife, who you say he has a good relationship with, struggle to pay the loan (why did she need the second loan, when he could have probably fixed it).

This is what people in good relationships with children do, they help each other even if there has been a stupid mistake made.

There has to be more to this.

totster

The thing is I also not know the full story

As far I know/and see they have a good relation , the second loan was needed to pay the first one, but is be done without he knows anything about it.

(the loan was used to help family i understand)

It was happened before and he has pays everything that time , to do again he has a problem with that ( about 100.000)

therefore he wanted to make a marriage settlement (after divorce)

Edited April 15, 2013 by Putu94

[Ijustwannateach]

From what I've been able to tell among my married friends here, including Thai lady teachers I work with, this is a common trope in families. Indeed, some of those teachers actually owe more in monthly loans (which they can also get from the school!) than they make in salary; but this works because their jobs are 2nd jobs in the family and they pay the difference from their husband's income.

So it seems that these financial options are out there and considered societally acceptable in many cases- but as far as what it indicates about a family relationship, here are some possibilities:

1. Addiction to consumerist values (getting more prevalent unfortunately)
2. Bad habits (gambling or other addiction)
3. Family with bad habits
4. Family with a drama dynamic (behaving functionally just not exciting enough)
5. Genuine need that one partner has either not understood/communicated effectively

The time to avoid #1-4 is probably before marriage, but #5 could happen to any couple; mistakes are human. If that's the case, then I think it would be one of those 'for better or for worse' moments, but hopefully a chance to fix the communication problem or look for other shared ways to solve the genuine need that don't involve bad financial decisions.

[USNret]

A question more

If you are divorced , is it possible to married the same wife again but then with a marriage settlement ?

What will be the time between divorce and married again?

This talk of divorce, "paper divorce", remarriage, etc. are pointless. They do not address the problem. If the husband loves the wife, then of these legal moves will resolve the problem which is how to make 12,000 payments on a 6,000 baht salary. It's a bad situation. You seem to focus on the husband's liability and that's not really the problem. The problem is (1) Trust & openness between husband & wife and (2) Paying off the debt. Once these 2 issues are resolved, the problem goes away. Of course, she has to make sure she never does this again.

[Mario2008]

A question more

If you are divorced , is it possible to married the same wife again but then with a marriage settlement ?

What will be the time between divorce and married again?

Yes, you can marry the same woman again and there is no required waiting time.

But a prenup will of course only have effect from the date you get married again.

[bow]

What a mess !

To be legally married you must register at the Ampoe office. A ceremony in the temple will make you married in the eyes of the Gods only, not in the eyes of the law.

Then we got the "rich daddy" thing. If the local loan sharks think that you will always settle your wife's debts in the end, then they will continue to let her borrow more and more. If you put your foot down and refuse to pay her debts, then the loan sharks will not let her borrow any more and they will settle for a reltively modest monthly repayment plan.

Edited April 20, 2013 by bow

[Putu94]

What a mess !

To be legally married you must register at the Ampoe office. A ceremony in the temple will make you married in the eyes of the Gods only, not in the eyes of the law.

Then we got the "rich daddy" thing. If the local loan sharks think that you will always settle your wife's debts in the end, then they will continue to let her borrow more and more. If you put your foot down and refuse to pay her debts, then the loan sharks will not let her borrow any more and they will settle for a reltively modest monthly repayment plan.

indeed a mess

I dont know much about it , but is it possible to advice a postnuptial ?

[Mario2008]

A postnuptial?

You can get a prenuptial after marriage, but that has to go through court and is very difficult. Basically the judge will ant to be sure that people who you own money too are not put in a disadvantage by the nuptial agreement. It ill only work for the future, not for things that happened in the past.

So a loan by your spouse taken during your marriage before the nuptial that turns bad after the nuptial is not protected by the nuptial agreement. That were the conditions the loan was taken under.

[bow]

I think you should try to find out if we are talking about money borrowed from a bank or reputable financial institution, or money borowed from money lenders (loan sharks).

You don't deal with banks and money lenders in the same way,

For example, if we are talking about loan sharks then there is little point in worrying about nuptials and other legal niceties, instead you should worry about being beaten up or even killed to show people what happens if you don't pay your debts.

[meatboy]

from what i can understand this is not the first time so your friend had better sort it out NOW if your renting a property check that the rent has been paid,if as you say its a good marriage then you are wrong because she has deceived him and there could be other debts,to have to pay 12,000bht.a month back its got to be a substantial amount.try and get him to find out what the loan was for,also dont her family have any security or are they looking at her husband as their atm.and his wife doesnt want to lose face by saying she cant afford it,either way he has got to sort it out or it could get ugly.

[harryfrompattaya]

I think you should try to find out if we are talking about money borrowed from a bank or reputable financial institution, or money borowed from money lenders (loan sharks).

You don't deal with banks and money lenders in the same way,

For example, if we are talking about loan sharks then there is little point in worrying about nuptials and other legal niceties, instead you should worry about being beaten up or even killed to show people what happens if you don't pay your debts.

Yes one has to worry about the loan shark beating you or killling you Meanwhile it he the load shark got killed the BIB will look for a Thai not a stupid old Farang

Now is you chance to do what right

[Kimera]

What a mess !

To be legally married you must register at the Ampoe office. A ceremony in the temple will make you married in the eyes of the Gods only, not in the eyes of the law.

Then we got the "rich daddy" thing. If the local loan sharks think that you will always settle your wife's debts in the end, then they will continue to let her borrow more and more. If you put your foot down and refuse to pay her debts, then the loan sharks will not let her borrow any more and they will settle for a reltively modest monthly repayment plan.

indeed a mess

I dont know much about it , but is it possible to advice a postnuptial ?

You seem to be going to a lot of trouble for a friend, very commendable

[Kimera]

Without knowing the full story..

I would probably just pay the loan, why is he making his wife, who you say he has a good relationship with, struggle to pay the loan (why did she need the second loan, when he could have probably fixed it).

This is what people in good relationships with children do, they help each other even if there has been a stupid mistake made.

There has to be more to this.

totster

Correct, he is on retirement extention and his wife earns B6000 then he has substantial earnings or B800000 in the bank.. tell him or (maybe) the OP to pay up

[farangme]

Were I in this situation (and I was once, with my filipina wife), prior to the loan if they had a good & loving relationship, I would probably pay off the loan myself to avoid issues with the rest of the village.  There is no way the wife, on her own, will be pay this off in any reasonable way & it will inevitably lead to further problems both in the marriage & among the locals in the village.  Paying it off immediately in full is a cheap way to avoid lots of future trouble.

 

This "generosity" comes with a strict admonishment never to do this again.  Particularly not in secret; financial decisions like this should be jointly made between husband & wife.  Her failure to abide by that, and the breach of trust it implies, is subject to severe repercussions as mentioned above.  It leads to the discussion of what she needed the money for & why did she feel that she couldn't approach her husband about this.  It's like unpeeling the onion.

 

I found my filipina wife unable to follow these simple rules. She continued to weave ever more intricate webs of deception which collapsed around her & enveloped me.  Thus the "ex-" now preceding her title. 

Speaking of filipina ex's, my ex-gf was the queen of all liars. Made the Thai ladies look like choir girls. "What a web we weave..."

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