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Posted

Mate after reading all of the posts, be strong and dont let that child leave the country.Ihave good experience with this but in Australia with a Japanese lady i married there.She took our daughter back to Japan as her mum was sick??????????I have not seen my daughter for 7 years and once the child is out of your country its very hard to play fair ball.If you want to be with your son dont allow him to leave.Let the misses wave knives and punch whatever.Buy her a ticket home alone and see how long the true love lasts.Be strong if you love your son.

True love ?

Posted

Thanks for your words Sheryl and and Alexander. Right now, it seems the shower is over, or at least paused. I overheard a skype conversation between her and her mom and it was about her dad feeling better, eating more than before etc ...

My wife told me "ok I'm not going, but can you buy a computer for my parents". Unbelievable, right? I'm still not done financing her pick up car, have to pay the insurance, and now she wants that. This all shows that it was a show, maybe testing my limits. But whatever the future holds, I'll hide both passports. And I can't even think when my son will finish his first schoolyear, holiday or not? Even if we go as a couple with our son, the danger is still very present. But that's more than a year from now, and I'm certain there will be other shows long before then.

Alexander: I'm really sorry to hear that my friend. I've recently watched a video about a GI returning from war and losing his daughter too, mom was also japanese. :( If you want to talk, you can contact me via PM.

Posted

Just stay in your country and distroy both passport he does not need to travel till he is 16 and then he can decide

Sent from my ST18a using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Posted

I know you are doing the right thing and are concerned about your son, but please be careful not to create a tug-of-war between your wife and your son - it isn't healthy for the child.

Is there any Thai community where you both live that could help your wife feel more connected to life in Belgium? I think the more she feels happy there - then you don't need to always worry that she will want to come back to Thailand.

Marriage is complicated and having children also adds to the complexity. Good luck to you and your family. I hope all three of you can work-out your problems.

Posted

Just stay in your country and distroy both passport he does not need to travel till he is 16 and then he can decide

I will probably lock them away in a relative's house. To be honest, I don't think my wife is capable of leaving with the child on her own initiative. She doesn't speak the language (doesn't want to because she says she can't learn, she always forgets), has a bank account but doesn't know how to use it etc ... but better be safe than sorry because a desperate someone can always achieve what they want, if they want!

I know you are doing the right thing and are concerned about your son, but please be careful not to create a tug-of-war between your wife and your son - it isn't healthy for the child.

Is there any Thai community where you both live that could help your wife feel more connected to life in Belgium? I think the more she feels happy there - then you don't need to always worry that she will want to come back to Thailand.

Marriage is complicated and having children also adds to the complexity. Good luck to you and your family. I hope all three of you can work-out your problems.

Yes I agree. Right now everything is back to "normal" although she told me that her goal was to get to Thailand. She doesn't want to live in Belgium more than it takes to make money and go to Thailand. Her idea (she has a new idea each week ...) at the moment is to go to Thailand when we have funds to make a pig farm and live on the farm in a small "bungalo". <deleted>?

There are a few Thai restaurants, there is a Thai temple not far from where we live but she never bothered to go there, even when I showed her how to get there!! She isn't trying because it seems like she knows that whatever happens, she doesn't want to stay.

Without our son, I would have left her a long time ago! Still have to finish her car financement and now she wants me to buy a computer for her mom so they can skype (current computer isn't good enough, no webcam etc ... stupid!). It's not by spending money on HER family than WE can move forward.

My son follows me everywhere. If I leave the room, he follows me or cries if he isn't able to. My wife tellls me it's my fault that I'm too easy on him. She is maybe right about that, but it might also be because of all these problems. Kids are sponges!

Wife told me that she won't leave now but would like to go in April next year! I told her that if our kid is at school, it isn't possible (well it is, but why the hell take a kid away from class when there is still school, just for a holiday? Of course it isn't a holiday, but to stay there forever!!).

Having a break is great, but problems will never finish. It isn't a healthy relationship.

Thanks for your words people.

Posted

Not a healthy relationship appears to be an understatement and the anxiety your son is exhibiting is probably a result of the conflict between the two of you as well as her general instability. It could do him lasting damage.

It may be time to start talking divorce with her and seeing if you can get sole custody. Best consult a lawyer specializing in family law. Since she clealry wants to go back to Thailand joint custody is nto going to be very feasible....

Posted (edited)

Not a healthy relationship appears to be an understatement and the anxiety your son is exhibiting is probably a result of the conflict between the two of you as well as her general instability. It could do him lasting damage.

It may be time to start talking divorce with her and seeing if you can get sole custody. Best consult a lawyer specializing in family law. Since she clealry wants to go back to Thailand joint custody is nto going to be very feasible....

If I am not mistaken you can send her back to Thailand by requesting that her Visa be cancelled that you sponsor at immigration in your country; she then has to leave. She can't take your son with her unless you allow it because he has your countries passport; hide both of the passports, your not in Thailand so your local law applies since your boy is a dual citizen staying with you under your home countries flag that he is a citizen of.

Send her home, see how things go, get some help from your parents if possible. It sounds like she doesn't want to be with you or in your country, she is just buying time till she sees a clean exit and possibly trying to accumulate things until that time comes such as computers, mobile phones, cloths, money, etc - any of these items are shipped to Thailand even better for her as her family will keep them for her until she comes back. My opinion anyway based on what I am reading...

Lastly, HIDE THE PASSPORTS OF YOUR SON!!!! If something happens and she wants to leave and finds the money if she has your sons passport, especially the Thai version she can take him out of your country with NO NOTICE or PERMISSION from you. She gets to Thailand with your son, you have no rights as he will enter the country as a Thai citizen. You will be fighting a battle that is almost guaranteed your going to lose unless you have a lot of money and time. International custody battle, the loser is 99% always the person in the other country because the child is dual citizen and under age to make their own decision.

You don't have to pay a car payment if your no longer together, redirect that money to funding your sons and your survival.

Edited by commande
Posted

If it was me i would try to intergrate her more into life in your home country.

New friends(not Thai!)

Part-time college course and or part time job.

It's not easy and takes time!

How would you feel if you was in her position?

Work harder at the relationship and draw a line under financing her family.

Whatever you decide i wish you well for the future.

CCC

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