Mai Pen Rai - For Better Or Worse?

[huli]

When I first came to Thailand in 1970, I loved the place. Especially "mai pen pai." I mean, a people so mellow that any difficulty could be smoothed over with a few words that everyone understood.

Now I live here and am married to a Thai. She never says mai pen rai. To her it is often used as an excuse for personal irresponsibility. I'm late for work. Mai pen rai.

I wonder if others have a take on this. Is mai pen rai a good or bad saying overall in your opinion?

[David48]

.

"mai pen rai" ... it is what it is.

Us 'liking or 'not liking' it is not going to change it.

So, from 1970 till 2013 what do you think has changed?

Your perception ... of all of Thai Culture?

Me thinks the former ...

.

[BuddhaMind]

ไม่เป็นไร (mai bpen rai) - to be ok; be all right; to be nothing

Like the reply above, it's just perspective. Some Thais, like your wife, see it one way, and others will see it another. For me, I think it gets used in more positive situations. Like if you try to apologize to a Thai over something small and they say "no big deal, let it go." I've also seen Thais use it when the change comes back after paying a bill and the Thai wants to leave it as a tip, waving the waiter/waitress away with "mai bpen rai." So many uses, so many situations. Some I guess for "personal irresponsibility" too. :-)

[maps424]

Since 1970?
Holy crap you've been here a long time

Anyway, you are probably just fed up with your wife, and don't realise it, and are blaming it on the sentence that she often uses.

Hope you didn't put the house in her name..

[hellodolly]

ไม่เป็นไร (mai bpen rai) - to be ok; be all right; to be nothing

Like the reply above, it's just perspective. Some Thais, like your wife, see it one way, and others will see it another. For me, I think it gets used in more positive situations. Like if you try to apologize to a Thai over something small and they say "no big deal, let it go." I've also seen Thais use it when the change comes back after paying a bill and the Thai wants to leave it as a tip, waving the waiter/waitress away with "mai bpen rai." So many uses, so many situations. Some I guess for "personal irresponsibility" too. :-)

I wish there was a saying in English like it. It is a great catch all phrase. The number one thing to remember is they come from a completely different culture and being late is OK for them. For me it is a no no. But when the wife is late as she often is I just say hello in Thai.

[MESmith]

Since 1970?

Holy crap you've been here a long time

Anyway, you are probably just fed up with your wife, and don't realise it, and are blaming it on the sentence that she often uses.

Hope you didn't put the house in her name..

You need to learn to read. First he says he first came here in 1970, not lived here since 1970. 2nd he says his wife never says "mai pen rai"

[KRS1]

I think its a good saying, it helps avoid conflict...

Id rather have a 'mai ben rai' woman over a confrontational woman.

[Mapguy]

This is interesting!

The phrase is one, IMHO, that should be used very carefully, and almost always in very informal circumstances. It is often used as an easy "out' of a casual situation, which is fine if you understand that. Other cultures and languages have the same sort of expression. But that is something that a culturally wobbly foreigner would find very difficult to understand. Some things get "popularized" in interpretation over time! How and when to use the phrase can be tricky.

In my experience, it is used only very casually and never in the context of a serious matter. If the latter, it would generally be, I think, a very, very dismissive (passive aggressive meaning) phrase indicating in one or both parties a lack of good upbringing or giving up a point of view in an exhausting and frustrating discussion.

And that's just the beginning! You have to love language as an expression of culture !

[Berkshire]

Mai Pen Rai simply means "It's ok, don't worry about it." We in the west use this all the time, so as to put the other person at ease. Especially when they've made a not-so-serious mistake in some form or another. As always, there's a context and as someone else mentioned, it wouldn't be used to mitigate serious situations. A Thai mother certainly wouldn't tell a drunk driver who's just ran over her kids "mai pen rai." So it's not so much a cultural thing as it is to simply say "don't sweat the small stuff," when indeed it is just "small stuff" (which usually applies to most things that farangs whine/whinge about).

[hellodolly]

This is interesting!

The phrase is one, IMHO, that should be used very carefully, and almost always in very informal circumstances. It is often used as an easy "out' of a casual situation, which is fine if you understand that. Other cultures and languages have the same sort of expression. But that is something that a culturally wobbly foreigner would find very difficult to understand. Some things get "popularized" in interpretation over time! How and when to use the phrase can be tricky.

In my experience, it is used only very casually and never in the context of a serious matter. If the latter, it would generally be, I think, a very, very dismissive (passive aggressive meaning) phrase indicating in one or both parties a lack of good upbringing or giving up a point of view in an exhausting and frustrating discussion.

And that's just the beginning! You have to love language as an expression of culture !

I was told to truly speak a language you had to understand the culture.

[junglechef]

Agree with many of posts except I must admit when it costs me money and someone tells me not to worry about it I might have the inclination too, or at least think it should be "up to me". Recently I got an itemized quote for a repair job on my car at the Ford dealership which included my having to pay up front for the parts to be ordered and sign to agree to the price. So when I picked it up the bill was 1200 bht more. When I brought it to the attention of the service manager he said, "mai pen rai" and I said, with my best Thai smile "ok if that's how you feel you pay the 1200 bht" The look on his face was priceless!

[binjalin]

we all know what it means "I don't give a s**t"

[onthedarkside]

we all know what it means "I don't give a s**t"

No - more like 'never mind' with no malice intended.

[binjalin]

we all know what it means "I don't give a s**t"

No - more like 'never mind' with no malice intended.

ok a softer version "I don't care' or 'I can't be bothered' or 'never mind' depending on situation but often can be what i said too

[junglechef]

"What, me worry?" Alfred E. Newman. Translates to the more modern bad attitude of "not my problem"

[hellodolly]

Agree with many of posts except I must admit when it costs me money and someone tells me not to worry about it I might have the inclination too, or at least think it should be "up to me". Recently I got an itemized quote for a repair job on my car at the Ford dealership which included my having to pay up front for the parts to be ordered and sign to agree to the price. So when I picked it up the bill was 1200 bht more. When I brought it to the attention of the service manager he said, "mai pen rai" and I said, with my best Thai smile "ok if that's how you feel you pay the 1200 bht" The look on his face was priceless!

Next time take Dave2 with his camera.