Divorcing your Thai wife in the uk

[Skorz]

Sometimes marriages break up. Mine has. We live in the UK and she's out to rinse me good and proper. Taken our three kids, moved into new house witb eastern European bf. My current lawyer has no idea how to deal with a crafty thai who is driven solely by money and saving face. Does anybody know a uk based lawyer who is experienced in dealing with this sort of situation? She's making insane and untrue accusations, hiding assets in Thailand and i haven't been allowed to see my kids in over a month. Help.

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[GreenSnapper]

Good luck, man. The western feminist divorce industry, lawyers, judges etc, will do everything to ruin you. If you have any real assets, try to move them out of Europe asap.

[Jay Sata]

You can forget assets in Thailand as there is no way of legally recovering anything from the UK.

Speaking from experience a long time ago your biggest problem is she has the children so is holding all the cards.

All lawyers pretty much sing from the same song sheet and to them it's just routine daily work much the same as an undertaker

does not spend his days in grief.

I sympathise with you having been there. Let's hope her new boyfriend finds the three kids too much.

Good advice there from greensnapper.

Edited June 23, 2013 by Jay Sata

[breadbin]

Good post above.

If you keep 50% of your UK assets you've had a result.

Thai assets, no chance.

Remember time and contact with your children should IMO be your number 1 motive.

Good luck

[Skorz]

I totally agree mate. I couldn't give two hoots about a crappy three bed end of terrace. I'd happily give it to her in exchange for the kids. She's even stolen gold from my mother under the pretence that it was a wedding gift, in which case surely we would have given it to her eight years ago when we married. Total scank. Her mother's the same. Shocked.

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[breadbin]

Where you living mate?

Known a few farang UK - Thai divorces.

Never good but harder when children are involved and when the Thai bird gets nasty.

[wooloomooloo]

Never good but harder when children are involved and when the Thai bird gets nasty.

Divorce isn't pretty and matters little that the OP's wife is Thai or not.

Bitterness, hurt, vengeance is a common theme on both sides. This thread is about divorce.

[breadbin]

Yeah, I can read but the OP has mentioned his THAI wife.

Can you read?

[GooEng]

Been there and feel your pain Skorz.

I was in a similar position a few years back and had the idea in my head the whole time that she would see sense tomorrow and let me see the kids and stop being so willfully spiteful and destructive, and the longer it went on the more it did me in.... Then I had a chat to a mate who'd been through the ringer who gave me this advice - keep your eye on the long term prize - time with your kids. At this stage be prepared for further separation from them and for things generally getting worse before they get better.

I know this sounds pessimistic and gloomy, but it is probably true and accepting it now will save you a lot of anguish and gut wrenching disappointment when misplaced hopes are unfulfilled.

Don't let her hurt you. The law is a <snip> in the uk, but you will get to see your kids in the end, they will NOT forget you and forget you are their dad and you love them.

Good luck.

Edited June 23, 2013 by SeaVisionBurma
removed profanity/obscene language

[wooloomooloo]

Yeah, I can read but the OP has mentioned his THAI wife.

Can you read?

Don't take it personally, mate. It's worth pointing out otherwise stereotyping a divorce based on nationality is only adding further fuel to the fire and wasn't aimed at you.

I apologise for the misunderstanding.

[breadbin]

No problems. I was just responding to the post as I read it,

Thanks for coming back to sort things out.

Cheers.

[Beetlejuice]

Good luck, man. The western feminist divorce industry, lawyers, judges etc, will do everything to ruin you. If you have any real assets, try to move them out of Europe asap.

Sorry to have to say this, but I have to go a long with our GreenSnapper on this one.

If she is still living in the UK, than the legal proceedings will fall under English law.

All the OP can do is go through the English legal system, lawyers, fight for custody of the children, house, assets, maintenance for the kids.

In the UK all a wife needs to say in court; is that she no longer wishes to stay married. Mental cruelty is the favourite excuse, that the lawyers tell then to say.

In most cases the mother of the children will win concerning divorce.

[wooloomooloo]

...fight for custody of the children, house, assets, maintenance for the kids.

Or don't fight and accept the loss and finality. When the dust has settled, sort out what's most important between you both.

[theblether]

OP, first of all these portents of doom and gloom are over the top.

Your personal conduct is the first issue you have to address here.

Do not lose your temper, do not lose your temper, do not lose your temper.

Do not get involved in slanging matches, be silent, and walk away from all provocation.

Do not go looking for a fight, don't torture yourself, and don't give her any excuse to get police involvement.

Be the quiet man.

........................................................................................................................................................................

List your assets in the UK and in Thailand, get together all documentation you have to prove ownership of property in Thailand, and go get all copies of bank statements etc going back years to prove payments made from the UK.

If you ask your UK bank they will provide you with all the bank statements at an extra charge, there is a limit as to how long you can go back, but the longer the better. Gather every document you can think of, put them into perfect order, and present them to your lawyer.

I find it hard to believe that your lawyer doesn't know how to deal with this, it's clinical.

First of all get him to send a letter to her asking what arrangements she is prepared to make as regards access to the children. Also ask who her legal representative will be. He will persist as lawyers do in these matters.

If she refuses contact don't panic. The lawyer can make an application to the court to force access. The days of women doing what they want when they want are gone in these matters. Every court order she breaches will go against her. She's not in Thailand now.

Talking of which, who has the kids passports? Ask your lawyer what can be done to prevent her from removing the kids.

Phone the CSA and ask them to calculate how much money you will have to pay for your kids, put that money into a holding account on a weekly basis. Do not under any circumstances give her cash without a receipt, in fact just don't give her cash full stop. Transfer the money to her bank account, if she doesn't have one then refuse to transfer until she provides one.

Change the locks on your doors ( assuming that it's the house you shared with her ) it won't be the first time someone has come home to find their house emptied.

Then keep calm.

She will try to demonize you, by the sounds of it it's already started, so don't rise to the bait. She's the one that's going to be running about like a hysterical headless chicken, not you.

The family courts have seen it all before. Just ensure that as of now you are blameless in every regard, ( I'm not saying you weren't blameless before ).......and remember this.

No one cares like you.........there will be court hearings postponed, days when you are let down, days when the kids are not allowed to meet you, and it cuts like a knife. But to everyone in officialdom, they don't care. You are just another case.

Learn to accept that now and you'll be alright in the end, the family courts will allocate access, the assets will be divided, the CSA will order payments, and that's it.

So keep calm, be clinical, and leave the hysteria to her. You'll be fine.

[Skorz]

There's always one smart arse. Of course you can and should racially profile divorce type. She is thai and is looking to harvest the farang money tree. Her parents are adding fuel to the fire. If she were an arab for instance it would be completely different in that she would have placed likey a greater emphasis on her husband and children. Rather than bling and her lazy mother who she believes she owes money to for giving birth to her.

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[Beetlejuice]

There's always one smart arse. Of course you can and should racially profile divorce type. She is thai and is looking to harvest the farang money tree. Her parents are adding fuel to the fire. If she were an arab for instance it would be completely different in that she would have placed likey a greater emphasis on her husband and children. Rather than bling and her lazy mother who she believes she owes money to for giving birth to her.

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Under UK law, It does not make the slightest bit of difference what race or nationality a wife is. All she has to do is be legally living in the UK.

The problem is that the rules regarding the rights of wives/girlfriends in the West has gone way over the top, to almost Fasist proportions in favour of the women:

Here are some facts regarding the feminist rights of Western women, regarding common law and married wives:

The woman controls whether you have sex or not. She controls whether she gets pregnant or not. She determines whether to have an abortion or not (even if the man or husband wants the child). She has the option to divorce her husband at any point during the marriage just on the grounds that she no longer wishes to remain with her partner and if there are children involved, in 99.99% of cases, she gets the family home and the kids, even if there is a new partner on the scene, plus child support and alimony. The woman gets paid even if she is the partner that dissolved the marriage and still gets paid even if the male partner and her don't legally marry.

I know of some men that had been completely destroyed by these Draconian Laws where their spouses have litually picked their bones clean

Many moons ago I went through a divorce myself in the UK. Lost everything, took me almost 15 years to financially recover from it.

There is no way would I ever live with a woman back in the UK again, whether legally married or not.

Whatever the OP has to say regarding the circumstances of why he and his wife are no longer together, the court won`t be interested. She will use the children as a shield against him. Then after a short time the DSS and so-called child protection agency will become involved, working on the wife`s behalf.

If I were the OP, I would now be considering ways of getting out of this situation in the most economical way possible. Believe me, I have been through all this crap, it`s going to be a rough ride.

Edited June 23, 2013 by Beetlejuice

[theblether]

Beetlejuice is right, there's no way she'll get preferential treatment because she is Thai. She can fight tooth and nail but in the end the UK courts will decide and that's it.

[theblether]

Beetlejuice, you do need to be careful about posting from your experience 20 or 30 years ago, things have moved on.

[Skorz]

So, does anybody know a uk based lawyer who has experience dealing with farang thai divorce?

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[theblether]

So, does anybody know a uk based lawyer who has experience dealing with farang thai divorce?

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You're actually in the wrong forum, we have a subforum that specializes in divorce and marriage, I'll pm the mods and ask them to move this topic there. There are some top class people who will help you in that subforum.

ps remember it's 3.00am in Thailand, give people a chance to answer.

Edited June 23, 2013 by theblether

[Weatherman]

So, does anybody know a uk based lawyer who has experience dealing with farang thai divorce?

What you want is a good lawyer that specializes in divorce and particularly family custody.

The fact that she's Thai is truly irrelevant to how he would proceed, as others have pointed out it's a pretty well-worn path, cut and dry process legally - but not for you emotionally of course.

If you want to try get custody yourself, you will need to get the gloves off hire detectives whatever it takes and prove her unfit, and have suitable arrangements for raising the kids in place in advance. Nasty business that, I would not advise it unless you are certain in your heart the kids are better of with you than her, for their own sake.

There are likely to be peer support groups and organisations set up to help other men in your position where you can get help and advice in person in addition to posting on the net.

Edited June 23, 2013 by Weatherman

[Jay Sata]

I'd avoid throwing money on lawyers who will promise you the earth but achieve nothing.

It's easy to give advice but what others said is true. Try and keep your head.

I'm afraid I was not able to do that but things came right in the end.

I wonder if this new boyfriend will want to dig deep to fund her?

[SeaVisionBurma]

Moving to Marriage and Divorce forum.

[meatboy]

Beetlejuice is right, there's no way she'll get preferential treatment because she is Thai. She can fight tooth and nail but in the end the UK courts will decide and that's it.

this is happening toooooooo often farangs getting the i want,i got now f.off treatment the courts know what they are up to,so as its been said get all the info you can, i bet as soon as the honeymoon period is over with her new bf.she will be shredding crocodile tears faster than p-ssing from a tree and will beg you to take her back,so dont fall into that trap.are all the kids yours and where were they born.good luck and watch your back.

[Mario2008]

1 post generalising and a reply to it removed.

[Skorz]

Legal aid mate. I'm just thanking my lucky stars UK immigration rules have tightened up because i know she was planning on bringing the useless parents over so that she could spend her days scanking and shopping

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[theblether]

Beetlejuice is right, there's no way she'll get preferential treatment because she is Thai. She can fight tooth and nail but in the end the UK courts will decide and that's it.

this is happening toooooooo often farangs getting the i want,i got now f.off treatment the courts know what they are up to,so as its been said get all the info you can, i bet as soon as the honeymoon period is over with her new bf.she will be shredding crocodile tears faster than p-ssing from a tree and will beg you to take her back,so dont fall into that trap.are all the kids yours and where were they born.good luck and watch your back.

It's all emotional, and it hits guys harder than a runaway train. That's why you have to keep your head and not get sucked in to a destructive battle.

Edited June 24, 2013 by theblether

[GooEng]

Yep, second theblether there 100% and was something I omitted from my post that he then advised in his first post - keep your head. Don't lose it! However scheming and unfair she may be - don't let it get to you. Keep your cool, dont react to anything she does without calm thought - consult with trusted friends and if and when you get a lawyer you're happy with him/her too - and remember the end game is what you are playing - getting time with your kids.

[Mrbiggus]

Legal aid in the UK has stopped for divorce.............................So you might be in a very different territory to what the guys who have bad experiences .

You never know you might actually live to tell the tale...

[Thaiwine]

You can give her the run around, do not see a solicitor until you have to, do not answer letters, claim you do not want a divorce, play for time.

this strategy worked very well for my English wife, she was able to make me wait for years, I did eventually get my divorce even though she tried everything she could to stop it.

we still haven't settled the financial side even though we have been separated 11 years now and divorced 3 years I am still trying to finish with her

mean time while you are waiting move any assets you can, any money in your bank move to a family member you can trust, (if there is anyone)

her solicitor will want to see 12 months bank statements, a list of any assets with a value over £500, any pension details

so make sure there is nothing there for them to give her, even if it means waiting over a year so the bank statements show near to nothing.