Monks / Weddings / Buddhism

[andrew]

My GF's family maintain a tradition whereby monks are forbidden from attending their weddings. Apparently this tradition was decreed by the "ancestors".

This is a snippet I dug out on Google.............

In many Buddhist cultures it was considered inauspicious to have monks attend a wedding ceremony, partly because it was thought that their vow of celibacy could cause infertility, and partly because monks are primarily associated with the funeral service.

In recent times, especially in Mahayana Buddhism, the traditional taboo on monastic involvement has been relaxed and weddings are sometimes now held in Buddhist temples with the blessing of monks.

Mahayana Buddhism is practiced in countries like Japan and Korea; here in Thailand they follow Theravada Buddhism.

A few quick questions:

1. Since when did Thai Buddhists start allowing monks to be present at their weddings? Alternatively, has the presence of monks at weddings always been a feature of Theravada Buddhism?

2. Were monks present at your wedding? If so, did you have to pay them to attend or give them any sort of offering?

[pattayadingo]

The two weddings I attended had no monks.

The families themselves attended the Temple the morning of the wedding.

[fabianfred]

Some people go to the temple early to make merit or give alms together to monks on alms round. Some invite monks to their home and make merit after they chant auspicious chants. Then the marriage ceremony takes place after the monks have gone.

Sent from my GT-N7100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Mario2008]

Monks do not attend the wedding. The come to the house early in the morning to bless the couple before the actual wedding.

As they are attending your house, they have no time for their alms round. So you provide them with a meal and give them a small donation. You also pay/arrange their transport to/from your house.

I believe there is a difference between the number of monks attending a wedding (9) and the number of monks attending a funeral (7).

[CharlieH]

Daughter had 9 monks attend at 5.30 am for blessing, later they ate, given an envelope each on leaving Then the Wedding proceeded.

Mario has it spot on !

Edited July 6, 2013 by CharlieH

[Scottythai]

The real question is why get married?

[andrew]

The real question is why get married?

Children.

[benalibina]

The real question is why get married?

Children.

Yeap !

[noise]

Monks do not attend the wedding. The come to the house early in the morning to bless the couple before the actual wedding.

I am perplexed by these words. Over 40+ years I have attended countless weddings and the morning ceremony was always THE WEDDING. It was simply a reception in the afternoon/evening, with people not invited to the morning ceremony coming to offer their good wishes, just like a western reception.

More so way back when than today, but it still happens this way sometimes, the couple did not register the marriage at the Amphur. Sure some couples only register at the Amphur, but but that is just fulfilling the civil legal requirement.

So, to iterate, my experiences say the Buddhist ceremony in the morning is the wedding. Are we talking past each other?

[Mario2008]

Might be local differences.

What I have experienced at several wedding in several parts, but not Isaan, is that early in the morning the monks come for prayer and blessings. They have breakfast and leave.

Later, a favorite time is 09:09 because of the number 9 being a lucky number, the marriage is sealed by the parents. With a parade by the groom to the house of the bride, 3 gates that need to be negotiated, display of sin sod and gold paid etc. That is when the they are married, with the blessing of the parents.

[Mario2008]

flames removed.

[andrew]

Monks do not attend the wedding. The come to the house early in the morning to bless the couple before the actual wedding.

As they are attending your house, they have no time for their alms round. So you provide them with a meal and give them a small donation. You also pay/arrange their transport to/from your house.

I believe there is a difference between the number of monks attending a wedding (9) and the number of monks attending a funeral (7).

MARIO

Apologies for reviving an old thread.

I've discussed the above with my GF. In her case (as per the traditions of her ancestors), monks play no part at all on the day of the wedding.

Monks do not come to the house in the morning, and monks are not invited to attend any events later in the day.

The wedding is a completely monk-free day.

[Mario2008]

Interesting and thanks for replying, I guess it is just one of the reginal variations. Not everything is the same all over Thailand.

[Kinate]

I did not know, interesting!