Message From Osma

[pepsi666]

Hi guys.

We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together as a group and I love that!

However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns.

First of all:

While it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles and the infidel soldiers, we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave.

We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we need to sweep the cave daily.

I've done my bit on the cleaning roster...

Have you?

I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the Halal toaster/griller).

Second:

It's not often I make a video address but when I do,

I'm trying to scare the hel_l out of most of the world's population, okay?

That means that while we're taping,

please do not ride your scooter in the background or keep doing the 'Wasssuuup' thing.

Thanks.

Third:

Food.

I bought a box of Cathedral City cheese and a bottle of milk and a loaf of bread recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf of the fridge.

Today, two of my cheese slices were gone and someone drank all my milk.and all that was left of my bread was two crusts.

AND who eat all my frosted flakes ?

Consideration.

That's all I'm saying.

Fourth:

I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games.

So no more baseball or cricket,

Lets just stick with the Jihad

And please -

do not chant "Ossy, Ossy, Ossy. Oii Oii Oii" when I ride past on the donkey.

Thanks.

Fifth:

Graffiti.

Whoever wrote "OSAMA F**** DONKEYS" on the group toilet wall, it's a lie.

The donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.

Sixth:

The use of chickens is strictly for food.

Assam !

The old excuse that the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain' will not be accepted in future.

(With donkeys there is a grey area).

The donkey must be used to RIDE INTO town and is not to be considered as camp entertainment

Seventh

We've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks.

I want to set up patrols to look for them.

First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.

AND lastly

Hard hats MUST be worn during ANY bombardments, either cruise missiles or shells,

if you do suffer any head injury during any bombardment and you werent wearing your hard hat we wont be able to claim compensation from the US/UK governments

Love you lots,

Group Hug.

Os.

PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag.

Cut it out,

it's not funny anymore

And stop waving at the satalites when they pass overhead

[kayo]

good one....

My sister sent me that as a fwd years ago, and I´d tried to find it again.. Thanks.

[pepsi666]

I added a bit of my own humour there as well, donkey's are'nt just for Christmas

Edited April 4, 2006 by pepsi666