How to handle several Thai girlfriends at the same time?

[Sheryl]

Boo took the words out of my mouth.

But seriously...if you must do this then as some have advised, be honest about it from day one.

However I have the definite sense from your posts that you are really wanting a relationship and even if you try to have several at once you will end up falling for one.

I think what you really need to do is re-evaluate how you are selecting girlfriends..where you are meeting these women and what sort of things you are looking for/attracted to. To have ended up cheated on in what were supposed to be monogamous relationships several times suggests you aren't moving in the right circles/selecting the right women. Either that or there is something in the course of the relationships that's off. If you are n Thailand only temporarily with intention of leaving for an extended period/no intention to stay or to marry, that may be a factor that leads GFs to start looking for alternatives. Or maybe you are, unintentionally, just repeatedly falling for the wrong type.

[StreetCowboy]

Less is more

Edited July 11, 2013 by StreetCowboy

[lonelyrw]

What school have you been going through?

[TheSpade]

You always pay for it any way or the other.

So they say but there's a big difference between paying for sex directly and going out and having a laugh with a girl and spending some money in the process.

And you don't always 'pay'. Last week I had a girl I met just come straight to my apartment (she didn't want to go out) and she brought food and beer with her so actually that was a profitable situation for me.

Quite simple.... don't keep tham as girlfriends.

Pick up, them tell 'em your very busy working most evenings and nights (working online is the best thing to say) and that you'll be with them as much as possible, then get them over once or twice a week.

Exactly this.

You don't say they are your girlfriend and it they start using the word you correct them and say you may have dated / had sex / whatever but you are not their boyfriend and aren't looking to be because you're a busy guy with a lot to do and don't have time for it BUT you enjoy their company and are happy to hang out with them again.

Though I wouldn't tell them I'll be with them as much as possible as that implies I'm going to spend a lot of time with them and in my case I'm probably not.

If you are honest and treat them fairly and don't try and lie and bullshit them most will be surprisingly OK about it. Maybe even make them want you more.

_{Why is it that so many guys seem to think that they can butterfly around Thailand at will but then get upset when they find out that "their girl" is also a butterfly?}

_{I found that the best way to deal with thai gals is to just tell them the truth....I am a butterfly. When you start with all that " I love you" stuff is when your problems will quickly multiply.}

_{Rent the girls. Don't try to own them unless you are prepared for the trials and tribulations of "ownership" which anyone who reads TV should know can be substantial.}

I don't care what the girl is doing. I tell them they can do as they please and it's none of my business.

But hold on the OP isn't talking about bar girls here is he? Surely he doesn't refer to bar girls as g/fs and wants them to fall in love with him and all that nonsense.

A bar girl is with you for your money. It's none of her business how many other girls you are seeing so if that's the case then don't worry about it.

[Ricedout]

If your on holiday in the Los I suggest 3 things...good fun..good sex..and goodbye..no harm done to either party then

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Salapoo]

Quite simple.... don't keep tham as girlfriends.

Pick up, them tell 'em your very busy working most evenings and nights (working online is the best thing to say) and that you'll be with them as much as possible, then get them over once or twice a week.

Exactly this.

You don't say they are your girlfriend and it they start using the word you correct them and say you may have dated / had sex / whatever but you are not their boyfriend and aren't looking to be because you're a busy guy with a lot to do and don't have time for it BUT you enjoy their company and are happy to hang out with them again.

Though I wouldn't tell them I'll be with them as much as possible as that implies I'm going to spend a lot of time with them and in my case I'm probably not.

If you are honest and treat them fairly and don't try and lie and bullshit them most will be surprisingly OK about it. Maybe even make them want you more.

Yup. I used to say that I was working for a UK travel magazine and after having been based in BKK I was relocated to Chiang Mai. I still kept my BKK Condo and whenever I was in BKK I would call girl x to come over.

Monday was one girl's lucky night, Tuesday the next, etc. etc. One was actually a daytime fling where I 'Flew in for a meeting every Wednesday morning then flew back to CM in the evening, so the afternoon I could meet her at her place' I guess it becomes kinda exciting for them.

It was fun, and I made it clear to all that I couldn't have a serious girlfriend due to my work and travel, as it wouldn't be fair to me or them. Most were cool with it. BKK girls kinda like a once a week fling in with a steady Westerner in his Condo, I found. I was mid-late 20's at the time, as were most of them.

Hope that helps.

Edited July 11, 2013 by Salapoo

[Boo]

one post insulting thai women removed

[rsokolowski]

If you are going to have multiple Thai girlfriends at the same time I would definitely heed the advice regarding kitchen knives and also make sure that there are no ducks in the vicinity.

[Kudel]

You always pay for it any way or the other.

So they say but there's a big difference between paying for sex directly and going out and having a laugh with a girl and spending some money in the process.

And you don't always 'pay'. Last week I had a girl I met just come straight to my apartment (she didn't want to go out) and she brought food and beer with her so actually that was a profitable situation for me.

Quite simple.... don't keep tham as girlfriends.

Pick up, them tell 'em your very busy working most evenings and nights (working online is the best thing to say) and that you'll be with them as much as possible, then get them over once or twice a week.

Exactly this.

You don't say they are your girlfriend and it they start using the word you correct them and say you may have dated / had sex / whatever but you are not their boyfriend and aren't looking to be because you're a busy guy with a lot to do and don't have time for it BUT you enjoy their company and are happy to hang out with them again.

Though I wouldn't tell them I'll be with them as much as possible as that implies I'm going to spend a lot of time with them and in my case I'm probably not.

If you are honest and treat them fairly and don't try and lie and bullshit them most will be surprisingly OK about it. Maybe even make them want you more.

_{Why is it that so many guys seem to think that they can butterfly around Thailand at will but then get upset when they find out that "their girl" is also a butterfly?}

_{I found that the best way to deal with thai gals is to just tell them the truth....I am a butterfly. When you start with all that " I love you" stuff is when your problems will quickly multiply.}

_{Rent the girls. Don't try to own them unless you are prepared for the trials and tribulations of "ownership" which anyone who reads TV should know can be substantial.}

I don't care what the girl is doing. I tell them they can do as they please and it's none of my business.

But hold on the OP isn't talking about bar girls here is he? Surely he doesn't refer to bar girls as g/fs and wants them to fall in love with him and all that nonsense.

A bar girl is with you for your money. It's none of her business how many other girls you are seeing so if that's the case then don't worry about it.

The girl that came to youre so called appartment for free is more cunning and has more patience then others weeling in there so called catch of the day.

Rule nr one in the farang in thailand player guide is to never bring one night stands to youre place of residence be she for free or paid for.

Enough treads concerning getting that crazy thai girlfrind out of my condo have been written on thaivisa and other thailand related websites.

[OldChinaHam]

You know,

If I had several girl friends at the same time, I would not be too concerned about how to handle them.

I'd just be pleased to let them handle me.

[StreetCowboy]

This thread paints an appalling picture of Thai ladies, but a worse picture of farang gentlemen. I hope that none of my friends read it...

[OldChinaHam]

This thread paints an appalling picture of Thai ladies, but a worse picture of farang gentlemen. I hope that none of my friends read it...

Not to worry.

There are those busy here removing improper posts insulting Thai ladies

As you speak.

And, I DO agree.

Edited July 11, 2013 by OldChinaHam

[StreetCowboy]

This thread paints an appalling picture of Thai ladies, but a worse picture of farang gentlemen. I hope that none of my friends read it...

Not to worry.

There are those busy here removing improper posts insulting Thai ladies

As you speak.

And, I DO agree.

While in the case of Thai ladies, inappropriate generalisations are removed, in the case of Farang gentlemen, damning admissions are allowed to stand.

Not to worry, I expect I'll be off on the bus now....

SC

[sustento]

This thread paints an appalling picture of Thai ladies, but a worse picture of farang gentlemen. I hope that none of my friends read it...

Not to worry.

There are those busy here removing improper posts insulting Thai ladies

As you speak.

And, I DO agree.

While in the case of Thai ladies, inappropriate generalisations are removed, in the case of Farang gentlemen, damning admissions are allowed to stand.

There is a big difference between inappropriate generalisations about other people and admissions about your own (the generic you) behaviour. If people want to condemn themselves out of their own mouths who are we to stop them?

[tingtongfarang]

Quite simple.... don't keep tham as girlfriends.

Pick up, them tell 'em your very busy working most evenings and nights (working online is the best thing to say) and that you'll be with them as much as possible, then get them over once or twice a week.

Thats my MO but you have to admit....it gets complicated,

To the op.....dont be paying at your age...or any age,

Tip....more than three on the go is stress.

[Kudel]

This thread paints an appalling picture of Thai ladies, but a worse picture of farang gentlemen. I hope that none of my friends read it...

Not to worry.

There are those busy here removing improper posts insulting Thai ladies

As you speak.

And, I DO agree.

While in the case of Thai ladies, inappropriate generalisations are removed, in the case of Farang gentlemen, damning admissions are allowed to stand.

There is a big difference between inappropriate generalisations about other people and admissions about your own (the generic you) behaviour. If people want to condemn themselves out of their own mouths who are we to stop them?

there is a Thai website/forum where thai woman married to foreigners/living abroad do there complaining about there said farangs and exchange lots of tips with one and other about for instance divorce laws and ways on how to navigate around certain laws of there host country and other stuff etc etc ....talk about insulting thai woman some things being talked about on said forum is way beyond insulting and i wont provide any links because of thai visa policy but said forum is named after a very popular thai gossip magazine. Edited July 11, 2013 by Kudel

[sustento]

there is a Thai website/forum where thai woman married to foreigners/living abroad do there complaining about there said farangs and exchange lots of tips with one and other about for instance divorce laws and ways on how to navigate around certain laws of there host country and other stuff etc etc ....talk about insulting thai woman some things being talked about on said forum is way beyond insulting and i wont provide any links because of thai visa policy but said forum is named after a very popular thai gossip magazine.

Do ALL Thai women married to westerners use the website? If not yours is just another inappropriate generalisation.

[Kudel]

there is a Thai website/forum where thai woman married to foreigners/living abroad do there complaining about there said farangs and exchange lots of tips with one and other about for instance divorce laws and ways on how to navigate around certain laws of there host country and other stuff etc etc ....talk about insulting thai woman some things being talked about on said forum is way beyond insulting and i wont provide any links because of thai visa policy but said forum is named after a very popular thai gossip magazine.

Do ALL Thai women married to westerners use the website? If not yours is just another inappropriate generalisation.

I did not state in my post ALL THAI woman read again sunshine.

[sustento]

there is a Thai website/forum where thai woman married to foreigners/living abroad do there complaining about there said farangs and exchange lots of tips with one and other about for instance divorce laws and ways on how to navigate around certain laws of there host country and other stuff etc etc ....talk about insulting thai woman some things being talked about on said forum is way beyond insulting and i wont provide any links because of thai visa policy but said forum is named after a very popular thai gossip magazine.

Do ALL Thai women married to westerners use the website? If not yours is just another inappropriate generalisation.

I did not state in my post ALL THAI woman read again sunshine.

You said 'Thai women' not 'some Thai women'. Believe me - I am not your sunshine.

[Kudel]

there is a Thai website/forum where thai woman married to foreigners/living abroad do there complaining about there said farangs and exchange lots of tips with one and other about for instance divorce laws and ways on how to navigate around certain laws of there host country and other stuff etc etc ....talk about insulting thai woman some things being talked about on said forum is way beyond insulting and i wont provide any links because of thai visa policy but said forum is named after a very popular thai gossip magazine.

Do ALL Thai women married to westerners use the website? If not yours is just another inappropriate generalisation.

I did not state in my post ALL THAI woman read again sunshine.

You said 'Thai women' not 'some Thai women'. Believe me - I am not your sunshine.

Well report my post to the mods who will remove my post insulting ALL THAI women and sorry if you feel insulted but not all of us thai visa members are native english speakers .

[Kodan]

I predict a trip to the hospital for some reattachment surgery in this gentelmans future.

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Byebyethaifornow]

Boo took the words out of my mouth.

But seriously...if you must do this then as some have advised, be honest about it from day one.

However I have the definite sense from your posts that you are really wanting a relationship and even if you try to have several at once you will end up falling for one.

I think what you really need to do is re-evaluate how you are selecting girlfriends..where you are meeting these women and what sort of things you are looking for/attracted to. To have ended up cheated on in what were supposed to be monogamous relationships several times suggests you aren't moving in the right circles/selecting the right women. Either that or there is something in the course of the relationships that's off. If you are n Thailand only temporarily with intention of leaving for an extended period/no intention to stay or to marry, that may be a factor that leads GFs to start looking for alternatives. Or maybe you are, unintentionally, just repeatedly falling for the wrong type.

I think this is very good advice and I thank you for it. I think I might be falling for the wrong type because long distance relationships have not worked out for me in a positive way, or maybe I am just making the girls feel insecure about the relationship. Yes I continue to come to Thailand temporarily due to work constraints back home, and since I dont want to marry, it limits the amount of quality women I can meet. By quality I mean women other than bar girls looking for one night stands.

I guess I will try to meet girls and be completely honest with them, and take other advice people have given here. I need to tell girls I am not looking for a girlfriend, Im not looking to get married, maybe start as friends and then see what happens. But Im just going to try to not fall in love again and avoid the pain.

I also need to learn to speak Thai. Ive been coming here for too long to still be this ignorant.

Thanks everyone.

[JLCrab]

Well given all those "working online" and Thai girls who just want to throw themselves at guys just off the airplane, these 1985 lyrics by Mark Knopfler of 'Dire Straits' still ring true:

That aint workin -- thats the way you do it
Money for nothin and chicks for free

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=iwDDswGsJ60#t=109s

[thrilled]

I just say Do unto others what you would like them to do to you. Just my opinion

[NanLaew]

Quite simple.... don't keep tham as girlfriends.

Pick up, them tell 'em your very busy working most evenings and nights (working online is the best thing to say) and that you'll be with them as much as possible, then get them over once or twice a week.

Works for me too.

Most other nights, I am home with the wife.

[NanLaew]

... the most recent cheated on my with at least 5 different guys every time I went home over a 2 year period of time.

Do you have a phone number for her?

I have a vacancy that will need filling soon.

[Payboy]

OP, keep calm and get familiar with the queue concept.

[welsh1]

Get yourself a dog.

Dogs never get jealous, if you pat another dog.

And if you come home late,, and you smell of beer,,, they are still glad to see you.

Edited July 12, 2013 by welsh1

[TheSpade]

The girl that came to youre so called appartment for free is more cunning and has more patience then others weeling in there so called catch of the day.

Rule nr one in the farang in thailand player guide is to never bring one night stands to youre place of residence be she for free or paid for.

Enough treads concerning getting that crazy thai girlfrind out of my condo have been written on thaivisa and other thailand related websites.

My 'so called apartment'?

I just call it my apartment. It's definitely an apartment.

This thread paints an appalling picture of Thai ladies, but a worse picture of farang gentlemen. I hope that none of my friends read it...

Men like to have sex with lots of different women. Shock horror!

At least I'm advocating being honest about it, would you prefer that we lied?

[fvw53]

Look at the 1965 classic movie "Boeing Boeing" with Tony Curtis : it gives you a perfect recipe to handle several girl friends at the same time