Why do partners threaten each other when kids involved.

[GirlDrinkDrunk]

Still married. No divorce or custodyproceedings yet.

get your ass to thailand and take her to court.

she is not even caring for the children herself, a sister is.

you have equal custodial rights and it would seem neither of you is living up to them.

god knows you would not find my child in the custody of a third party.

[GirlDrinkDrunk]

Some parents use the kids as leverage- because they can. They are thinking about short term gain and to hell with the consequences. In these cases everyone looses, but especially the children. Parents that truly love their kids will not stoop to thise despicable tactic. The parent beibg held hostage must not succumb to retaliation, rather try to work through the issue with the unreasonable ex spouse. Not easy and requires an immenese amount of self control.

OP, hope things improve for you.

Parents?

When was the last time you heard of a man behaving like this?

yesterday. but he doesn't want money, he wants revenge

[GreenSnapper]

It's extremely rare that men abuse their children to take revenge or to blackmail the ex wife for money. Men who tried that, would be soon prosecuted for kidnapping etc.

It is the standard case though for women, as they have the protection of the law. Often they combine it with false rape allegations or allegations of sexual abuse. They can get away with it easily and it will often break a man's existance. A high number of men's suicides is connected to that sort of abuse, so no reason to joke about it.

[DavidBonnie]

I also experienced my ex wife using my two sons for leverage. Like you, I went through terrible traumas about their happiness and safety.

We parted when they were very small; 2 and 3 1/2 years old and they lived apart from me for 1 year.

The bletherers advice about not making contact with the bitch is VERY SOUND. You will have no leeway with courts either in Europe or Thailand so it does not matter a fig how much you compromise or indulge her demands and pay regularly. During that time apart they came to stay with me a couple of tmes and she always, always upset them by screaming at me on the phone or not being at home when I brought them back etc.

I believe that the reason that she and others are so terrible after divorce is jealousy. You chose not to be with them and hell hath no fury etc . . .

I realised this all quite early and so did the only thing I could do . . . . .I went and got my boys and raised them alone.

I still got grief from my ex and still do to this day but the only power she had over me was the maintenence she had to pay and thats not as much of a problem as you would imagine.

My sons are now 22 and 21 and live their own lives, one just got a law degree and the other is a chef in Gibraltar . . . I would not have done it any other way as I knew that as long as she had my kids . . . I would never be free.

Short of doing this . . . adopt thebletherer's plan . . tough but in the long run . . . . just keep talking to the kids BUT never talk about their mother. XXXX her, she immaterial.

Edited July 21, 2013 by metisdead
Profanity removed.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I believe that the reason that she and others are so terrible after divorce is jealousy. You chose not to be with them and hell hath no fury etc . . .

My US wife dumped me and was just the same.

I think it's either a control thing, or blaming you for her failed marital expectations.

I didn't ever see any of my children again. Not from my choice.

[farang000999]

Go and buy the children back from the sister-in-law and take them to your home country.

[theblether]

Right I'm going to get in bother for this, but here we go.........

There's a thread on this subject already raised by the OP in the family and children forum. The OP is obviously struggling to get his head round this and I can fully understand why.

Benalbina, I said before control the controllable as you can't control the uncontrollable. Her weapon is the kids, your weapon is money. She will torture you for the rest of her life with the kids if you allow her to.

Here's what to do.......change your phone number and all other forms of communication. Stop paying her and put the money in a bank account for the kids. When she next tries to get a hold of you she will go white with shock when she realizes you are gone.

You will have beaten her only weapon, as she is convinced that you are the puppet on her string, cut the string and she is beat.

Leave it long enough for the pain of realization and the reality of being skint to sink in, I suggest three months. Then send her an email or a text from an account or phone number you have specifically for her.

Do not use your general email account or phone, it's torture being pounded all day with ever more hysterical demands. That's mental torture, a practise she is using on you. You need to find the strength to deliver some back to her in the best interests of the kids. Open a new email account or buy a new sim card only for dealing with her.

Send the email or text and merely ask does she need some money for the kids. Not a word more. Not a word less.

Immediately remove the sim from the phone and give it to a friend for safe keeping for a week, whatever you do do not sit and stare at it waiting for a reply. If you have opened an email account the sign out and ignore it for a week.

After a week open the account or sim and read what has been sent, do not answer. Resist the temptation to answer. If it's a hysterical tirade of threats then leave it another week, then a singular message again.

" Do you need money for the kids, yes or no? ".

Then repeat the waiting process.

Open the sim again a week later, see what is written, if she has calmed down then contemplate sending some money. If not, then this time leave it for a month before you reply. Then say.....

" If you threaten me then I will never pay you "

Then repeat..........

Two things will happen, either the penny will drop with her and she will become compliant, or she'll go off on a continual campaign of threats for the rest of your life.

I've seen both.

If she becomes compliant then send her a singular months payment, do not send back money. You would need to be mad to do that as you've now taught her that you will act as a bank.

She has now lost the money for the months that she tried to blackmail you.

When you eventually see the kids you can use that money to take them away on a special holiday, or even put into a savings account for them in their own names, they'll love that.

My ex still cannot believe that I did not fold to the blackmail, my family and friends rallied round to give me the strength to not fold. My mother in particular was excellent.

For all the bluster on the forum just about all of us have gone through some form of emotional turmoil in the past. Finding the strength to fight against this vile blackmail is extraordinarily difficult, but you must find it.

The first part of that is learning to control your own emotions, and the simple act of buying a sim card is the first step in taking control of your life back.

Control the controllable, control yourself.

Did Baldrick help you to create this masterplan?

Nice big words, but IMO coming from someone not knowing, how things work here.

No money for 3-4 months, who is going to pay the price? The children ofcourse. Do you honestly believe, that SIL will continue to look after the kids, if not paid. I didn't think so!

I agree with your sentiment, but stop paying is just not the solution. Might even come back to bite the OP in a future courtcase.

Childsupport is normally set at 3000/month/child by the courts +extra for school and medical expenses.

So if 3 children (OP's avatar) 10k a month would be about correct. Instead of paying to the mother, pay it directly to the caretaker (SIL).

So my advice to the OP would be, for the sake of the children, keep paying a minimum until you get here.

If you follow the blethers "advice", you are not better than the mother. Playing an adult game with the children in the middle!

Don't get me wrong, I hate blackmailing greedy bitches as much as anyone. But don't let the children pay the price.

What a load of crap, the issue here is not money, it's mental torture.

The OP has to put an end to that, end of story.

[benalibina]

Some parents use the kids as leverage- because they can. They are thinking about short term gain and to hell with the consequences. In these cases everyone looses, but especially the children. Parents that truly love their kids will not stoop to thise despicable tactic. The parent beibg held hostage must not succumb to retaliation, rather try to work through the issue with the unreasonable ex spouse. Not easy and requires an immenese amount of self control.

OP, hope things improve for you.

Parents?

When was the last time you heard of a man behaving like this?

yesterday. but he doesn't want money, he wants revenge

I assume that you refer to me with your above statement.

Than it is a total nonsense what you write. Do you seriously think that my morals are so low to play the revengegame ? Revenge would mean, in this situation, that i care jackshit about the kids. If that were true, why the fck would i open this topic. I might be stupid but not that........

I know that on 1 way or the other the kids pay the price and i am very very sad about that. This is however not my choice. I just do not understand the threats by my wife. It proves, unfortunately, that she does not have the moral background to raise the kids properly. But i married her !!!

About her sister, who now takes care of the kids, i believe that she runs the show from behind the scenes. She is evil in my opinion.

[NeverToReturn]

Maybe she is using the threat of removing the kids to do either one of two things.

She wishes to inflict emotional pain because she knows you love and attachment to them.

And/or, she is using them as a bargaining point to strengthen her position when negotiating with you.

Sure, there maybe other reasons ... but those are two that come to mind.

.

In my opinion there is only 1 interest. The children's !

I still wonder about the psychology behind it.

Im in a similar position at present, other then ive got the child as i wouldn't let her take my kid back to Thailand at 2 weeks notice when she wasnt willing to speak to me and wouldn't tell me how she would get cared for or by whom. ... She was due to be working fulltime.

As for the psychology behind it, well the thing that is the mother to my child hasn't spoken to me for 6 months, and to be honest i have no clue how a women can walk away from her toddler child.

My theories are Thais raised in those farms of Isaan have a tough side, but this means they are exceptionally cold in a way we're not used to in the west.

2nd theory is they aren't overly bright when dealing with outsiders and have only been in contact with the civilised world for a generation, thus they have no idea how to sit down and use logic and understanding to come out with the best outcome "FOR THE CHILD".

If they shout and scream and make as big a mountain out of the situation as possible people will feel sorry for them and see them as the victim, and that its the big bad mans fault, so despite the fact they've done wrong they can keep face by becoming a victim.

Maybe in Isaan kids aren't as important to their parents as they are in England, maybe its the parents that are the priority.

In Thai society people like to turn a blind eye to problems in society that need dealing with, and they like to put the blame on others or just totally ignore it hoping the situation will just go away.

As you can see I don't really know how the mind of Thai women work, but if you have the support of your family in Europe try and get your kid back here and raise him/her with western morals and decency, and find a Western women to be his/her mother.

You will have lots of heartache of the coming years either way it would seem, I wish you the best.

Edited July 21, 2013 by NeverToReturn

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Im in a similar position at present, other then ive got the child as i wouldn't let her take my kid back to Thailand at 2 weeks notice when she wasnt willing to speak to me and wouldn't tell me how she would get cared for or by whom. ... She was due to be working fulltime.

As for the psychology behind it, well the thing that is the mother to my child hasn't spoken to me for 6 months, and to be honest i have no clue how a women can walk away from her toddler child.

My theories are Thais raised in those farms of Isaan have a tough side, but this means they are exceptionally cold in a way we're not used to in the west.

2nd theory is they aren't overly bright when dealing with outsiders and have only been in contact with the civilised world for a generation, thus they have no idea how to sit down and use logic and understanding to come out with the best outcome "FOR THE CHILD".

If they shout and scream and make a big a mountain out of the situation as possible people will feel sorry for them and see them as the victim, and that its the big bad mans fault, so despite the fact they've done wrong they can keep face by becoming a victim.

Maybe in Isaan kids aren't as important to their parents as they are in England, maybe its the parents that are the priority.

In Thai society people like to turn a blind eye to problems in society that need dealing with, and they like to put the blame on others or just totally ignore it hoping the situation will just go away.

As you can see I don't really know how the mind of Thai women work, but if you have the support of your family in Europe try and get your kid back here and raise him/her with western morals and decency, and find a Western women to be his/her mother.

You will have lots of heartache of the coming years either way it would seem, I wish you the best.

This is not a uniquely Thai problem.

I think you are being unfair to Thailand with your post.

It happens all over the world, even in England.

But of course in England (or the US or Australia) the woman would be less likely to desert the kid, as she knows it's worth, and that by hanging on to the child she would probably never has to work again.

[NeverToReturn]

Im in a similar position at present, other then ive got the child as i wouldn't let her take my kid back to Thailand at 2 weeks notice when she wasnt willing to speak to me and wouldn't tell me how she would get cared for or by whom. ... She was due to be working fulltime.

As for the psychology behind it, well the thing that is the mother to my child hasn't spoken to me for 6 months, and to be honest i have no clue how a women can walk away from her toddler child.

My theories are Thais raised in those farms of Isaan have a tough side, but this means they are exceptionally cold in a way we're not used to in the west.

2nd theory is they aren't overly bright when dealing with outsiders and have only been in contact with the civilised world for a generation, thus they have no idea how to sit down and use logic and understanding to come out with the best outcome "FOR THE CHILD".

If they shout and scream and make a big a mountain out of the situation as possible people will feel sorry for them and see them as the victim, and that its the big bad mans fault, so despite the fact they've done wrong they can keep face by becoming a victim.

Maybe in Isaan kids aren't as important to their parents as they are in England, maybe its the parents that are the priority.

In Thai society people like to turn a blind eye to problems in society that need dealing with, and they like to put the blame on others or just totally ignore it hoping the situation will just go away.

As you can see I don't really know how the mind of Thai women work, but if you have the support of your family in Europe try and get your kid back here and raise him/her with western morals and decency, and find a Western women to be his/her mother.

You will have lots of heartache of the coming years either way it would seem, I wish you the best.

This is not a uniquely Thai problem.

I think you are being unfair to Thailand with your post.

It happens all over the world, even in England.

But of course in England (or the US or Australia) the woman would be less likely to desert the kid, as she knows it's worth, and that by hanging on to the child she would probably never has to work again.

Look of course people having difficult separations happens everywhere, but when you are in a relationship with someone from another country clearly sacrifices and being reasonable when separating occurs is even more of a priority ... just running away seems to be the best solution Thai females can come up with.

The points i put across inferring they are more prevalent in Thailand, ie are parents the most important? turning a blind eye to things hoping itll go away, keeping face do seem to be part of the Thai psyche, if one is allowed to generalise.

Not speaking and totally ignoring the male and not speaking so the situation cannot be resolved seems to occur all too frequently when Thai females are involved.

Edited July 21, 2013 by NeverToReturn

[farang000999]

just ask the SIL how much it will cost for her to give you the kids back. what are you waiting for?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Not speaking and totally ignoring the male and not speaking so the situation cannot be resolved seems to occur all too frequently when Thai females are involved.

Normal behaviour of many women (and men) the world over IMHO.

[NeverToReturn]

Not speaking and totally ignoring the male and not speaking so the situation cannot be resolved seems to occur all too frequently when Thai females are involved.

Normal behaviour of many women (and men) the world over IMHO.

Well all the English people i have known separate when kids are involved have contacted in one way or another.

In England the mediation industry is booming, so clearly in England it is recognised that communication is the best way ... i bet there isn't one such establishment in the whole of Thailand.

And i would call it idiotic and selfish behaviour, it certainly isn't normal.

[Beetlejuice]

How can we answer the OP`s questions? We don`t know the situation.

Perhaps the wife has good reason to threaten the OP? He`s in Europe, kids living with someone else. All sounds very odd to me.

So what`s the real story behind this?

[benalibina]

How can we answer the OP`s questions? We don`t know the situation.

Perhaps the wife has good reason to threaten the OP? He`s in Europe, kids living with someone else. All sounds very odd to me.

So what`s the real story behind this?

My question was a general question. I only noted that i have to deal with it. I did not open this topic to have answers about my specific situation. Just about WHY do parents threaten each other about withholding kids to the other parent. Ok ?

[NeverToReturn]

How can we answer the OP`s questions? We don`t know the situation.

Perhaps the wife has good reason to threaten the OP? He`s in Europe, kids living with someone else. All sounds very odd to me.

So what`s the real story behind this?

Unless he is a child abuser or wife beater he has every right to see his kids.

Why does it sound odd to you, do you think Thai women can not be illogical and that it must be farangs fault?

Theyre masters at manipulating people from what i can see.

[soi41]

@NeverToReturn. If your woman was so mean, why did you marry her in the first place? And why get a child? As for Isaan women being cold, when it comes to love of their children, I think it is more a question about being pragmatic. She would probably have to leave the child with her family anyway, to go and make a living somewhere else. So maybe she left the child with you, so it would have a brighter future?

@benalibina. If you care so much about your family, (children) why aren't you living with them here ? If that was not possible, why didn't you bring them to your homecountry? If the answer to those questions are, are that it is not financially possible for you, then your wife is probably as frustrated as you. Which doesn't make her a bad woman, but she is left alone in Thailand with 3 kids, has to work to make ends meet, meaning leaving her children for someone to take care of. I take she doesn't work in the neighbourhood, so she has to leave the children to work somewhere else? Her dream (and yours) has collapsed, so ofcourse she is bitter and frustrated!

I am not trying to have a go at you, just trying to see it from both sides.

[benalibina]

@NeverToReturn. If your woman was so mean, why did you marry her in the first place? And why get a child? As for Isaan women being cold, when it comes to love of their children, I think it is more a question about being pragmatic. She would probably have to leave the child with her family anyway, to go and make a living somewhere else. So maybe she left the child with you, so it would have a brighter future?

@benalibina. If you care so much about your family, (children) why aren't you living with them here ? If that was not possible, why didn't you bring them to your homecountry? If the answer to those questions are, are that it is not financially possible for you, then your wife is probably as frustrated as you. Which doesn't make her a bad woman, but she is left alone in Thailand with 3 kids, has to work to make ends meet, meaning leaving her children for someone to take care of. I take she doesn't work in the neighbourhood, so she has to leave the children to work somewhere else? Her dream (and yours) has collapsed, so ofcourse she is bitter and frustrated!

I am not trying to have a go at you, just trying to see it from both sides.

If i follow your point it is ok that bitterness and frustration will lead to threats !

Not in my book.

[NeverToReturn]

@NeverToReturn. If your woman was so mean, why did you marry her in the first place? And why get a child? As for Isaan women being cold, when it comes to love of their children, I think it is more a question about being pragmatic. She would probably have to leave the child with her family anyway, to go and make a living somewhere else. So maybe she left the child with you, so it would have a brighter future?

I didnt marry her, we met had a child rather quickly and i stood by her as i think children should have a mother and a father, i think its morally wrong and repulsive to abandon children, and i think fatherless kids are one of the many problems that are destroying English society.

She left the child with me as i wanted to know her intentions once my kid was in Thailand i wanted guarantees that she'd bring her back to England and be educated here, she didn't have the decency to answer one of my questions including where she'd be living or who'd be looking after her.

And i had a very high paying job in the energy industry that i have had to quit so she can make 20,000 baht a month in Bangkok, i'd have been paying for the best education money can buy for my kid this will no longer happen, so her bright future if slightly diminished as English state schools are falling apart at the seems.

All it would have taken was conversation and both of us making sacrifices ... instead the outcome by doing things the "Thai Way" is everybody loses.

If my child never goes to that country in her life i think it'll be for the best, Thais imho are all front especially the younger generation.

[benalibina]

@NeverToReturn. If your woman was so mean, why did you marry her in the first place? And why get a child? As for Isaan women being cold, when it comes to love of their children, I think it is more a question about being pragmatic. She would probably have to leave the child with her family anyway, to go and make a living somewhere else. So maybe she left the child with you, so it would have a brighter future?

I didnt marry her, we met had a child rather quickly and i stood by her as i think children should have a mother and a father, i think its morally wrong and repulsive to abandon children, and i think fatherless kids are one of the many problems that are destroying English society.

She left the child with me as i wanted to know her intentions once my kid was in Thailand i wanted guarantees that she'd bring her back to England and be educated here, she didn't have the decency to answer one of my questions including where she'd be living or who'd be looking after her.

And i had a very high paying job in the energy industry that i have had to quit so she can make 20,000 baht a month in Bangkok, i'd have been paying for the best education money can buy for my kid this will no longer happen, so her bright future if slightly diminished as English state schools are falling apart at the seems.

All it would have taken was conversation and both of us making sacrifices ... instead the outcome by doing things the "Thai Way" is everybody loses.

If my child never goes to that country in her life i think it'll be for the best, Thais imho are all front especially the younger generation.

The older generation is ignorant and nationalistic. Not really agree with you on the younger generation. It is more that thai cultural aspects of respecting the elders, non confrontation and lack of expressing critical thinking (education) is withholding them to really speak out within the conservative poor families. 1 on 1 they have a good sense of logic. Well at least that is my experience ! For the rest i wholehartedly agree with the comments you have made thusfar. It is sad though !

[benalibina]

@NeverToReturn. If your woman was so mean, why did you marry her in the first place? And why get a child? As for Isaan women being cold, when it comes to love of their children, I think it is more a question about being pragmatic. She would probably have to leave the child with her family anyway, to go and make a living somewhere else. So maybe she left the child with you, so it would have a brighter future?

I didnt marry her, we met had a child rather quickly and i stood by her as i think children should have a mother and a father, i think its morally wrong and repulsive to abandon children, and i think fatherless kids are one of the many problems that are destroying English society.

She left the child with me as i wanted to know her intentions once my kid was in Thailand i wanted guarantees that she'd bring her back to England and be educated here, she didn't have the decency to answer one of my questions including where she'd be living or who'd be looking after her.

And i had a very high paying job in the energy industry that i have had to quit so she can make 20,000 baht a month in Bangkok, i'd have been paying for the best education money can buy for my kid this will no longer happen, so her bright future if slightly diminished as English state schools are falling apart at the seems.

All it would have taken was conversation and both of us making sacrifices ... instead the outcome by doing things the "Thai Way" is everybody loses.

If my child never goes to that country in her life i think it'll be for the best, Thais imho are all front especially the younger generation.

The older generation is ignorant and nationalistic. Not really agree with you on the younger generation. It is more that thai cultural aspects of respecting the elders, non confrontation and lack of expressing critical thinking (education) is withholding them to really speak out within the conservative poor families. 1 on 1 they have a good sense of logic. Well at least that is my experience ! For the rest i wholehartedly agree with the comments you have made thusfar. It is sad though !

[NeverToReturn]

@NeverToReturn. If your woman was so mean, why did you marry her in the first place? And why get a child? As for Isaan women being cold, when it comes to love of their children, I think it is more a question about being pragmatic. She would probably have to leave the child with her family anyway, to go and make a living somewhere else. So maybe she left the child with you, so it would have a brighter future?

I didnt marry her, we met had a child rather quickly and i stood by her as i think children should have a mother and a father, i think its morally wrong and repulsive to abandon children, and i think fatherless kids are one of the many problems that are destroying English society.

She left the child with me as i wanted to know her intentions once my kid was in Thailand i wanted guarantees that she'd bring her back to England and be educated here, she didn't have the decency to answer one of my questions including where she'd be living or who'd be looking after her.

And i had a very high paying job in the energy industry that i have had to quit so she can make 20,000 baht a month in Bangkok, i'd have been paying for the best education money can buy for my kid this will no longer happen, so her bright future if slightly diminished as English state schools are falling apart at the seems.

All it would have taken was conversation and both of us making sacrifices ... instead the outcome by doing things the "Thai Way" is everybody loses.

If my child never goes to that country in her life i think it'll be for the best, Thais imho are all front especially the younger generation.

The older generation is ignorant and nationalistic. Not really agree with you on the younger generation. It is more that thai cultural aspects of respecting the elders, non confrontation and lack of expressing critical thinking (education) is withholding them to really speak out within the conservative poor families. 1 on 1 they have a good sense of logic. Well at least that is my experience ! For the rest i wholehartedly agree with the comments you have made thusfar. It is sad though !

The way i see it is the older generation are more content to accept their lot in life and when they were young society wasn't so full of bullshit as it is now.

The under 40s Thais who us whiteys are likely to mix with seem to me to have taken the worst parts of Western consumerism and multiplied it 10 fold and the image they form with this is what makes up 87% of their personality.

[Mossfinn]

87 per cent, wow that's pretty specific!

[NeverToReturn]

87 per cent, wow that's pretty specific!

Farang know everything!

[Mossfinn]

Don't worry you are doing very well

[Beetlejuice]

How can we answer the OP`s questions? We don`t know the situation.

Perhaps the wife has good reason to threaten the OP? He`s in Europe, kids living with someone else. All sounds very odd to me.

So what`s the real story behind this?

My question was a general question. I only noted that i have to deal with it. I did not open this topic to have answers about my specific situation. Just about WHY do parents threaten each other about withholding kids to the other parent. Ok ?

Total rubbish.

This is not a general question, because the answers depends on how and why this circumstance came about in the first place.

Perhaps your wife has good reasons to take these actions against you, or maybe she doesn`t?

Not all wives use their children like pawns in a chess game to hurt or to try and gain an advantage over their husbands

I answer your question with another question; why is your wife taking this course of action? Is it because she hates you, for spite, financial reasons, has she been having an affair or maybe it`s because something you have done, or not done? Could be anything.

The general answers are not as our NeverToReturn suggests, that Thai women are masters at manipulating people. Some maybe, just like any other persons, males or females worldwide, but we certainly cannot give answers on the assumption that all Thai wives are bad to begin with.

Otherwise what sorts of comments would you prefer to hear?

[benalibina]

How can we answer the OP`s questions? We don`t know the situation.

Perhaps the wife has good reason to threaten the OP? He`s in Europe, kids living with someone else. All sounds very odd to me.

So what`s the real story behind this?

My question was a general question. I only noted that i have to deal with it. I did not open this topic to have answers about my specific situation. Just about WHY do parents threaten each other about withholding kids to the other parent. Ok ?

Total rubbish.

This is not a general question, because the answers depends on how and why this circumstance came about in the first place.

Perhaps your wife has good reasons to take these actions against you, or maybe she doesn`t?

Not all wives use their children like pawns in a chess game to hurt or to try and gain an advantage over their husbands

I answer your question with another question; why is your wife taking this course of action? Is it because she hates you, for spite, financial reasons, has she been having an affair or maybe it`s because something you have done, or not done? Could be anything.

The general answers are not as our NeverToReturn suggests, that Thai women are masters at manipulating people. Some maybe, just like any other persons, males or females worldwide, but we certainly cannot give answers on the assumption that all Thai wives are bad to begin with.

Otherwise what sorts of comments would you prefer to hear?

This is my original post.

I am in a sort of bad situation regarding my wife. We have children together who are taken care of by her sister. I am in Europe. After silence for a couple of months yesterday she threatened again, twice, to change phonenrs and taking the kids so i cannot find them again.What drives parents, people to do that ? What is the psychology behind it ?For me it is incomprehensible.Ideas or knowledge anyone ?

No referral to thais or gender. If you have a sensible reply to my question it would be appreciated. Thanks again.

[soi41]

How can we answer the OP`s questions? We don`t know the situation.

Perhaps the wife has good reason to threaten the OP? He`s in Europe, kids living with someone else. All sounds very odd to me.

So what`s the real story behind this?

My question was a general question. I only noted that i have to deal with it. I did not open this topic to have answers about my specific situation. Just about WHY do parents threaten each other about withholding kids to the other parent. Ok ?

Total rubbish.

This is not a general question, because the answers depends on how and why this circumstance came about in the first place.

Perhaps your wife has good reasons to take these actions against you, or maybe she doesn`t?

Not all wives use their children like pawns in a chess game to hurt or to try and gain an advantage over their husbands

I answer your question with another question; why is your wife taking this course of action? Is it because she hates you, for spite, financial reasons, has she been having an affair or maybe it`s because something you have done, or not done? Could be anything.

The general answers are not as our NeverToReturn suggests, that Thai women are masters at manipulating people. Some maybe, just like any other persons, males or females worldwide, but we certainly cannot give answers on the assumption that all Thai wives are bad to begin with.

Otherwise what sorts of comments would you prefer to hear?

This is my original post.

I am in a sort of bad situation regarding my wife. We have children together who are taken care of by her sister. I am in Europe. After silence for a couple of months yesterday she threatened again, twice, to change phonenrs and taking the kids so i cannot find them again.What drives parents, people to do that ? What is the psychology behind it ?For me it is incomprehensible.Ideas or knowledge anyone ?

No referral to thais or gender. If you have a sensible reply to my question it would be appreciated. Thanks again.

"No referral to thais or gender"

This forum is called Thaivisa, and you mention your wife, so maybe not so strange, we came up with the answer: Thai wife??

So the reality is, that your transgender partner lives in Blackpool with your 3 adopted kids, whilst you are in Germany?

[Beetlejuice]

How can we answer the OP`s questions? We don`t know the situation.

Perhaps the wife has good reason to threaten the OP? He`s in Europe, kids living with someone else. All sounds very odd to me.

So what`s the real story behind this?

My question was a general question. I only noted that i have to deal with it. I did not open this topic to have answers about my specific situation. Just about WHY do parents threaten each other about withholding kids to the other parent. Ok ?

Total rubbish.

This is not a general question, because the answers depends on how and why this circumstance came about in the first place.

Perhaps your wife has good reasons to take these actions against you, or maybe she doesn`t?

Not all wives use their children like pawns in a chess game to hurt or to try and gain an advantage over their husbands

I answer your question with another question; why is your wife taking this course of action? Is it because she hates you, for spite, financial reasons, has she been having an affair or maybe it`s because something you have done, or not done? Could be anything.

The general answers are not as our NeverToReturn suggests, that Thai women are masters at manipulating people. Some maybe, just like any other persons, males or females worldwide, but we certainly cannot give answers on the assumption that all Thai wives are bad to begin with.

Otherwise what sorts of comments would you prefer to hear?

This is my original post.

I am in a sort of bad situation regarding my wife. We have children together who are taken care of by her sister. I am in Europe. After silence for a couple of months yesterday she threatened again, twice, to change phonenrs and taking the kids so i cannot find them again.What drives parents, people to do that ? What is the psychology behind it ?For me it is incomprehensible.Ideas or knowledge anyone ?

No referral to thais or gender. If you have a sensible reply to my question it would be appreciated. Thanks again.

What is a phonenr? Is it some type of phone? Do you mean she threatened to change her phone number or what?

OK, your wife threatened to take your kids somewhere where you would not be able to find them.

Were there any conditions regarding this warning? Did she say; why?

Surely there must have been more to the conversation than just; Hi, I`m taking the kids away, bye.