Lost the Plot Yet?

[mesquite]

I count among my older male friends and acquaintances, several who have "lost the plot," e.g. gone semi-insane by virtue of living here in Chiang Mai for many years.

Some are doomed to live their remaining years here, wandering about the streets of the old city, eating at food stalls, visiting the ladies who hang out in the sois, and babbling about whatever thought just popped into what's left of their brains.

Others, not as far gone, have recognized they are in danger and have fled to their home countries.

Certainly there are advantages of living in Chiang Mai vs a first world western country. Two big ones are the low cost of living and the availability of sex. But these two things come at a cost, the cost of dealing with the strange mindset and warped logic of Thai culture, where up is down and inside is out, and the difference between right and wrong is blurred. Drugs, prescription and otherwise, are available to temporarily ease the pain, but these only make matters much worse over the long term. And of course there is the growing awareness that the Thais want us here for only one thing: $$.

Moving to another city in Thailand, or to Cambodia or the Philippines would just make matters worse. Pattaya, Sihanoukville, and Angeles City are all in the running for the true end-of-the-line for the older farang male. But moving back to one's home country can give one a chance at regaining sanity, of course at the cost of higher rent and little or no sex. From what I can see, though, the smart ones are going home.

So do you know anyone who has lost the plot?

[Oww]

Most of them don't add anything interesting to the table anyway. Not much of a loss if they leave.

[Dante99]

Now I do.

[cloudhopper]

I never got the plot.

[crusader79]

Asia has a long history of chewing up aging expats and spitting them out. Unlimited booze, sex and sun too often turn into isolation, alienation and despair, the old be careful what you wish for.

Edited August 6, 2013 by crusader79

[mesquite]

Asia has a long history of chewing up aging expats and spitting them out. Unlimited booze, sex and sun too often turn into isolation, alienation and despair, the old be careful what you wish for.

Yep. This summarizes what I was trying to say in my post.

[BoonToong]

So do you know anyone who has lost the plot?

Yes, looking in the mirror now

[Johpa]

You people are just hanging out with the wrong crowd and thus are engaging in a self-fulfilling prophecy. But yes, Chiang Mai and Southeast Asia are not for everyone.

[Ulysses G.]

Most of the people I hang out with have thrived here. One close friend had to return to Blighty for the free medical care, but the rest have all calmed down from the excesses of the 90s and live pretty sane lives with no regrets.

Edited August 6, 2013 by Ulysses G.

[puukao]

I believe the OP is correct on many levels, and/but you can "lose the plot" in your home country as well. I'm in my 40's, not young and not old, but I like structure. structure can get boring, no matter what you do. jumping out of a plane 100 times can become old hat. so, my advice, quit the alcohol and do something totally different. paint, cook, hike, sing, write, read, and get outside for at least a few hours a day. I don't care if you decide to study flowers and paint rocks, trust me, this will help for you to 'regain your plot'.

[onthedarkside]

quit the alcohol

[Loptr]

I lost the plot years ago. A touch of insanity is the only way I can stay sane in this world on which we live.

Doesn't matter where you are when you lose the capability to deal with life on a day-to-day basis as most of use will develop some dementia as we age. Although I do see the OPs point about scampering back to the land of your birth where most things are familiar and one hopefully has a support network for assistance.

[DiamondKing]

LOL after that post YEP

YOU ARE ONE OF THEM

[northernjohn]

Most of the people I hang out with have thrived here. One close friend had to return to Blighty for the free medical care, but the rest have all calmed down from the excesses of the 90s and live pretty sane lives with no regrets.

I agree with you if the plot is to live cheaply with access to cheap drugs and ladies you will lose the plot where ever you are. Life has so much more to offer. It is my belief that a lot of these people who have lost the plot lost it when the Baht started getting stronger. They could no longer live the high life they had to start thinking about where they were going to spend their money and started to realize that they could no longer live the life of drugs booze and women they had come for in the first place.

They had never taken the time to experience the other things Thailand has to offer. It was not the same as back home so obviously it was wrong and their whole world changed into nothing but wrongness. Of course they had accumulated friends along the way who thought as they did and just bolstered their thinking.

Of course then their are the ones who for medical reasons can no longer stay here and must return to the countries of their origin where they will be covered for all their medical needs.

[heybruce]

So being an irresponsible hedonist in Thailand causes one to lose the plot, and returning to one's home country and being an irresponsible hedonist there will fix the problem. Are you sure?

Here's a thought; instead of dedicating your life to booze, sex and drugs, try finding something useful to do. It does wonders for one's self-esteem. I think the plot will work itself out after that.

[puukao]

I should add that studying Thai is a great way to become more active again. it's challenging, can be fun, and adds great comedy when you go out in CM. I will try to say sawateekap super fast, then sabbai dii mai kap with a smile, and then throw in a 'mai mi prosopgan (add whatever you are doing), kap' (I have no experience) for more comedy.

to me, the heat can be deadly. makes you want to not move too much. and then, after you do, sleep is good since you are a little tired and dehydrated. but you don't want to be the vampire and stay up to 4 a.m.

so just remember these phrases and repeat them to the next thai person for fun.....

sawatee kap, sabbai dii mai kap. (after they respond)....dii maak, kap. phom chuu (name), kap. khun chuu arrai kap (what is your name). yin dii tii dia ruujack (nice to meet you). pause.... (khun chop tam aria kap) (what do you like to do?) note: it might be "khun tam arrai chop kap" but ah, it's fun and no worries. then ask (wanni khun yaak bpai duum caffee gap phom kap)....ok, this I probably got wrong, but asking (today you want to go drink coffee with me)....

trust me, the language thing will open up tons of comedy.....I am horrible at thai and 1,000,000 thais tell me "khun puut passa thai geng maak!!!!"

lol

[Suradit69]

Now I do.

You beat me to it.

the strange mindset and warped logic of Thai culture, where up is down and inside is out, and the difference between right and wrong is blurred.

[FolkGuitar]

It's not 'where' you live.

It's 'how' you live.

[heybruce]

It's not 'where' you live.

It's 'how' you live.

The best reply with the fewest words. Well done.

[Resa]

The problem is not Asia, the problem are the people who come here.

I think most farangs here are rather simple and uninteresting people who are mostly here for the women and cheap life they can live.

After some years they realize drinking with other uninteresting people and paying for love / sex isnt that great but they do not see alternatives so they become grumpy and bitter.

[Rooo]

Posts discussing illegal activities removed.

[smokie36]

Better to remain randy than go blind.

[orang37]

... snip ... instead of dedicating your life to booze, sex and drugs, try finding something useful to do. It does wonders for one's self-esteem. I think the plot will work itself out after that.

Sawasdee Khrup, Khun HeyBruce,

Are you sure you did not mean to write: "... try finding something useful to do, like rock-and-roll ..." ?

I can only speak for the two of us, but it seems like every plot I unravel turns out to have been one I have been deliberately led to ... "programmed" to discover, as it were ... as part of another, even broader, plot , of even more ominously cosmic complexity, to the point that they bugger serendipity, if you'll excuse an expression that could be interpreted as in bad taste ... not that you would, of course: have bad taste, given the sweetness of my words, which are only an imperfect knock-off copy of the nectar of my orangutan's soul emanating from his advanced stage along the (what I can only indirectly refer to) as "the path of slack," via the teachings of Ur-Orang.

What is esteem "had" by the self; what does it mean to "do wonders" for it; and, when a plot "works itself out," is there always an "ending" ... what does a "worked out plot" leave behind, if anything ?

Those questions you hatched for me, are amazing larvae; I will ponder their wriggling, watch, and wait. I consider it possible that you are, also, on the "path of slack," but, that could be another deception, in another plot.

By the way, I consider it a valid hypothesis that some farangs come here ... to die, in misery, slow suicides, or down-and-out-one-way-quick off the balcony in Pattaya ... may their souls rest in peace.

~o:37;

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Way back when I first arrived I already noticed many of the long term expats were a bit eccentric, to put it mildly. This only makes sense; if you're completely normal you don't pack up and go live on the other side of the world, so by definition you get people who are a bit different. And that's fine.

[howzat]

I never found the plot so no worries.

[habfan]

If you wake up everyday just to walk to a bar stool you're going to lose it no matter where you live.

[Wavefloater]

It's not 'where' you live.

It's 'how' you live.

This is spot on!

The OP seems to talk about people who have pretty screwed up priorities in the first place -- booze and sex. Don't get me wrong, I like both of these things, but if they were the most important (or only) things my life revolved around, i don't think it would matter where I live -- I'd have a very shallow existence.

I'm fortunate to have a job in a stimulating environment with well-educated colleagues, Voip services allow me to make phone call home often to family and friends to keep things "real". When I have to go into Pattaya for business during the day and see numerous older farang seated in bars, starting their day of drinking quite earlier, it makes me sad. You can see that there isn't much life left in them. It's those lifeless stares across the bar at nothing that is the real indicator. They almost give me shivers.

If I wasn't working and keeping mentally and socially active, there's no way I would move to Pattaya (or the other similar locations). I think it would be too easy to be drawn into the trap the OP refers to.

Edited August 7, 2013 by Wavefloater

[Ron19]

Better to remain randy than go blind.

Could you re-post in larger script please.

[Trujillo]

It's not 'where' you live.

It's 'how' you live.

How cliche.

Living in prison isn't the problem, it's how you use your time. ...or, It isn't about living in a slum in Manila, it's how you live in a Manila slum.

Thailand give you the tools to slide into bad habits much easier than in your home country. The only limits on your behavior here are the ones you set for yourself.

[Wavefloater]

It's not 'where' you live.

It's 'how' you live.

How cliche.

Living in prison isn't the problem, it's how you use your time. ...or, It isn't about living in a slum in Manila, it's how you live in a Manila slum.

Thailand give you the tools to slide into bad habits much easier than in your home country. The only limits on your behavior here are the ones you set for yourself.

People make achievements, both personal and acknowledged in situations as dire as slums and prisons, so cliche or not, it's true.

Besides, I think most of us can understand that we're talking about situations where people have made choices of their own free will. People don't choose to live in slums and few people choose to go to prison, even though there's a valid argument that they chose to commit a crime that could be punishable with jail time. I don't agree that using situations so extreme and not related to the original topic and intention is fair or valid.

Edited August 7, 2013 by Wavefloater