Where's Gay Life In Chonburi City

[bieles]

I stay Chonburi (city), far from the gay life around tourist spots.

After hours of walking around, I see only shy smiles.

I like men around 30-40, in a big city like this maybe they have a place to meet, far from the spots. Someone knows something about this (ugly) town ?

thanks a lot !!

[jdinasia]

nothing that I know of .... probably most people travel up to BKK ... only an hour away ....

but I'll post on one of the Thai language boards and ask ... if I get a response back I'll let you know

[Guest endure]

nothing that I know of .... probably most people travel up to BKK ... only an hour away ....

but I'll post on one of the Thai language boards and ask ... if I get a response back I'll let you know

How long did it take you to learn Thai, JD? And what method did you use?

[nonthaburial]

Not wishing to be offensive, but the question should be renamed "Wheres any life in Chonburi City"

I have been here a week now and can see/find nothing of a night life at all !

[jdinasia]

nothing that I know of .... probably most people travel up to BKK ... only an hour away ....

but I'll post on one of the Thai language boards and ask ... if I get a response back I'll let you know

How long did it take you to learn Thai, JD? And what method did you use?

at Chula for the basic course ... then started over again at a place MUCH less expensive and intense. I am far from fluent ... but i get most of what I hear/read

[bieles]

Not wishing to be offensive, but the question should be renamed "Wheres any life in Chonburi City"

I have been here a week now and can see/find nothing of a night life at all !

I stay there because my lover works/family, and not all the time (march and next june) we've rent in new complex Bypass Mansion outside city. Some locals told people (when) they works like dogs, when day off and freetime, it's dedicated to singharbeer !!! but like many men in Thld (2 legals drugs gets poor people for ever : alcohol and tobacco)

I told my thaifriend maybe gay life exists only following white's wallets. Thai gay community doesn't exist really, because they don't had to fight like gays in western countries against old religious christian rules, buddhism is different. Or gay thai life must be so far of our way to feel it ??

About Chonburi, it's the same for straights. We visit some Cburi's discos. Friendly ok as Thais are, but terribly local looking (special music thai remix only).

@+

[jdinasia]

the "gay scene" (non commercial) is just starting to expand outside of BKK

There are now businesses in places I never would have expected them ....

But I do believe you are correct in one of your assertions ... no need for gaybars all over ... since for the most part gays and str8's get along here

Gaydar in the west is a bit problematic .... but here ... for locals ... it can be couples with a level of physical intimacy you'd NEVER see in the west ... when you can go out drinking with friends and leaning on the other guy in the group. If eyecontact didn't tell you something .. this next step would ...

Add to that the Thai pasttime (and gay pasttime everywhere) of gossip and ..... well ....

[busgen]

Gay life in Chonburi City,

uhm.....I've read the posts and replies and I wonder what you think about the Thai in general.

Gays are NOT generally accepted here.

In the wel known gay areas: BKK Silom, Pattaya, Phuket, Chiang Mai you will find out that the majority of the men, working in the scene, is NOT gay or don't admit that they are.

The men who are gay, are not out in 99 out of 100 cases. Their families are not aware of their beloved being gay.

If you visit the outback (where ever), with your (gay) friend, you will be introduced to family and friends as a boss, a friend or a care taker but in most cases never as a lover.

Of course, there are gays in Thailand and maybe, maybe, the percentage will be statistically slightly higher than in the rest of the world, but please don't think that gays are generally accepted in Thailand.

Chonburi City, the most boring and dreadful city I know in Thailand. But what else can you expect of an industrial town. Sure there are gay bars, but if you ask around: nobody knows!!!

In Chonburi City there are some disco's and lot's of karaoke bars and sure some gays are being employed, but there are no real boy bars, beer bars or gogo-bars.

Take care of your eye-contact: staring at people can be seen as very offensive, especially after some beer shings or mekong coke.

I live in Bang Saen at the moment and from what I see there is that you can expect more gay movement. Bang Saen is the number 2 beach resort of Chonburi province and it is a typical Thai resort. The 'gay' there move along the beach and in some pubs, clubs near the beach.

Bang Saen will be grow out to be Pattaya number 2 in, let's say, 5 years. There are more and more better class hotels, restaurants, clubs and pubs. The number of 'farangs' is growing and for now, prices of real estate are reasonable.

Of course it won't take long before the first 'public' gay bar will be opened (no it won't be me).

Joseph

[DUMPSTER]

I'm sorry Joseph but I have to disagree with 99% of your post, especially the making eye contact point. I personally would be wary of making eye contact with anyone who has been drinking and was walking home from a bar. Once someone has consumed alcohol their behavior generally changes don't you think? and that isnt restricted to Thais, though I myself find they are nowhere near as agressive as westerners. The rest of the time you should feel free to make eye contact.

I would say Thais are, in general, not homophobic. I find they are very accepting of gays and of course ask any parent in the world if they wish their son or daughter wasnt gay and i'm sure most would prefer if they were not.

I''m sure some have had bad experiences but I haven't and I don't know anyone who has. I've never heard of any gay bashing incident in my time in Thailand, whether that be to a Thai or farang.

As for the development, well Sri Racha has grown so much over the last 5 years and is continuing to grow rapidly and the knock on affect will spread to places like Bang Saen but I just can't see that many farang ending up there because, as you point out, it is dominated and catered for by Thais for Thais. most farang living there are working with only a few retirees, who I guess dont like Pattaya.

Edited May 12, 2006 by DUMPSTER

[jdinasia]

I disagree with the whole "gays in Thailand thing" 2 posts above !

Chonburi is an interesting place ... but not inteesting to live in <at least for me.> But geeze ... any of the people living in Thailand can tell you the number of times we have seen ladyboys that were soooo young that it is mind boggling! Gay's ARE accepted .. but as previously stated parents genereally would not choose for their kids to be gay ... but...

There just really are 2 + kinds of gay men here ... the openly gay/effiminate man ... sadly still the butt of many jokes and referred to as kathoey. Theen there's the rest ... average guys .... they just don't care to peg themselves as gay and as long as they are perceived as masculine they are just treated like men!

Why would a boy that is gay want to potentially upset his elders by overtly discussing his sexuality? Across generations this is just not done. However the couple of times I have been to friend's houses upcountry everyone knew they were gay (and they were NOT ladyboys ) and people were very curious to know if I was a BF or not. <answer in each case .. NOT>

There are many gay places around that do seem only to be known to locals .... however that is RAPIDLY changing here in the LoS. And there are non-commercial places opening all the time too! Seems like they are mostly Saunas upcountry so far with them opening in KK and Ubon etc etc.

if you have any skill at Thai you may wish to check out http://www.Thailandout.com

http://www.thaimeeting.com/

there are tons more but those should help open people's eyes ....

The whole concept of "gay" is pretty new here so gay bars and saunas etc are newish too! Guys upcountry meet their partners through friends etc ... after all their situations are pretty common knowledge .. just that the information does not often cross the generation barriers

[busgen]

Well I might be wrong.......but imagine what would happen if the Thai changed their thoughts, minds and moral concerning earning money in "The Industry?"

Because that's where it's all about: money. And please don't be so naive to think that gays are generally accepted in Thailand.

If a boy tells his family that he is gay, it's only accepted because it brings in cash.

Well we could go on and on with pro's and contra's, yes and no discussions.

People experience this gay thing in their own way.

Believe me, I have had some very good experiences but also some bad ones. In the end everything is revolving about money and not only in the gay scene.

What do you think if you see a straight couple walking hand in hand; she is absolutely gourgeous, Thai and 24 and he must be at the end of his days, foreign and 79.

Is there love involved? Or is it about money?

[DUMPSTER]

Bugsen, I think you are only looking at gay life in Thailand through one perspective and that is the gay sex industry. Yes there is a big sex industry here catering, it appears for guys like yourself. I say like you because it appears this is your only experience of gay guys in Thailand. Working guys selling themselves to foreign guys. The more I read stories about farangs, whether it's from a straight or gay guy, the more I realise why they are so bitter. I say bitter because you have to pay for sex and when you pay for something like sex you then find it difficult to distinguish between sex and love. You forget that you are meeting guys who are only looking to make money whereas many of the farang are looking for more. So what do you end up with? Bitter farangs who have been taken to the cleaners because their feelings become irrational and they start to make decisions that they wouldn't do back home. But remember back home you wouldn't get laid. That is why you are in Thailand paying for it.

Many of us here are in relationships with guys who haven't seen the inside of a go go bar let alone work in one. You are writing your words from your experience and I undestand your experience is that of many guys in Thailand but that experience isn't the same as mine and I'm sure others. There is a gay sex industry and a non commercial gay scene in Thailand. You seem to have only experienced the former with some not so unexpected bad experiences. If your expectations had been different and I would say more realistic, that is, that you had remembered that you are dealing with a guy who is out to make money for himself and maybe his family, then you wouldnt have felt so bad. And maybe if you had experienced the latter you view of gay life in Thailand would also have been different.

As for Thais wanting to make money, what is so different to an American or Brit wanting to make money? Maybe because you have money now you find it hard to understand why somebody else would want to have it too and maybe getting it at your expense. Isn't this being a hypocrite? We are used to being able to make money in the west and Thais are now in a position to want to have the same things as you, who maybe now takes for granted. I personally wish it wasnt like that and they lived more in line with the Buddhist teachings but that's the way it is and so be it. This is not unique to Thais but maybe there are more here without who now want to be with, so its more obvious. I dont see any difference between a greedy American Scandinavian or Thai.

Edited May 15, 2006 by DUMPSTER

[jdinasia]

Well I might be wrong.......but imagine what would happen if the Thai changed their thoughts, minds and moral concerning earning money in "The Industry?"

Because that's where it's all about: money. And please don't be so naive to think that gays are generally accepted in Thailand.

If a boy tells his family that he is gay, it's only accepted because it brings in cash.

Well we could go on and on with pro's and contra's, yes and no discussions.

People experience this gay thing in their own way.

Believe me, I have had some very good experiences but also some bad ones. In the end everything is revolving about money and not only in the gay scene.

What do you think if you see a straight couple walking hand in hand; she is absolutely gourgeous, Thai and 24 and he must be at the end of his days, foreign and 79.

Is there love involved? Or is it about money?

You are wrong ... Dumpster was a bit harsh .. but his observation was pretty accurate. Though if you are going to be one of the guys that questions the motives of all the Thai people he meets ... well I am very sorry for you! Good luck to you

[DUMPSTER]

Dumpster was a bit harsh

Me harsh.......surely not

Ok I appologise.... rewrite

Oh busgen how terrible for you to have met these terrible Thai guys who have taken you for a ride. It's despicable that they should only think about making money and trying to take it from a western guy. How dare they. They should count themselves lucky that you are interested in them and provide you with all sexual favours for free. Maybe you should start some kind of support group for other victims. You can call the group something like Foreigners Against Thais

Good luck to you and be careful out there. Those naughty Thai boys working in the sex industry are waiting to empty your wallet. They are not working for love even if they say they love you after 10 minutes.

BTW, What attracted you to Thailand? And before arriving, were you not clued up enough to know about all the sad stories of misfortune or did you think it wouldn't happen to me. I'm not that stupid?

[busgen]

It's getting better and better,

I didn't come to Thailand to get laid, neither did I come to Thailand to fulfill an possible emptyness in my life with a Thai guy. I never pay for sex.

Probably you guys are so desperate in finding your real love overhere, that you don't want to see what's it all about. You accept everything even if it is hard to deal with.

No Dumpster you weren't harsh........you are just an harsh..hole: blaming me for judging things and people I obviously know nothing about, but what do you do? Judging me on one expression without asking for more back ground information on why and what?

BTW, What attracted you to Thailand? And before arriving, were you not clued up enough to know about all the sad stories of misfortune or did you think it wouldn't happen to me. I'm not that stupid?

So I was right...............you just don't want to see what's happening!!

Dumpster was a bit harsh

Me harsh.......surely not

Ok I appologise.... rewrite

Oh busgen how terrible for you to have met these terrible Thai guys who have taken you for a ride. It's despicable that they should only think about making money and trying to take it from a western guy. How dare they. They should count themselves lucky that you are interested in them and provide you with all sexual favours for free. Maybe you should start some kind of support group for other victims. You can call the group something like Foreigners Against Thais

Good luck to you and be careful out there. Those naughty Thai boys working in the sex industry are waiting to empty your wallet. They are not working for love even if they say they love you after 10 minutes.

BTW, What attracted you to Thailand? And before arriving, were you not clued up enough to know about all the sad stories of misfortune or did you think it wouldn't happen to me. I'm not that stupid?

[jdinasia]

sorry Busgen ... but the entire <total, complete> premise of your first post was just wrong .. yes Dumpy was harsh in reacting ... but no more harsh than the post that prompted it

[Steve2UK]

Maybe I shouldn't be continually surprised at how many people (farang and Thai) seem to have a pre-set and simplistic view that only sees things in black-or-white terms. I long ago lost count of all the conversations with gay Thai friends and acquaintances where I've had to counter their fixed notion that a gay farang will of course know Pattaya, Patpong, Patong etc (i.e. the commercial scene) inside out - or, if he doesn't already, he wants to. Some, maybe many - not all.

Say after me: "there are shades of grey". And remember that it takes an open mind along with a bit of time and effort to see them.............. Given that it's such a major part of Thai culture for the richer to help the poorer friend/partner/relative, it's all too easy to mistake someone who is only following the innate order of things for a gold-digger/client. Yes - there are moneyboys; there are also (at first sight) similar guys who are fiercely proud (amongst other things, that they are not moneyboys) and who try to balance that pride with the need to help their family, for example. Can I always guarantee to tell the difference? No. Do I try? Yes. Is it worth the effort? Definitely.

Combine all that with the still common (not universal - and declining) Thai acceptance that someone over 35 doesn't automatically have "one foot in the grave" - and you all too easily fall into the trap of seeing every age-gap relationship as a commercial transaction. Some are, maybe many - but not all.

Said it before and I'll say it yet again. All Thai aren't anything - except Thai. Needless to say, the same is true of farang. I can't abide racial stereotyping of any description. Sure, I accept that even by the broad generalisation of trying to factor in the influence of Thai culture on Thai behaviour and attitudes (and the farang equivalent), I'm arguably straying towards stereotyping - but that's another shade of grey we have to deal with.......

[DUMPSTER]

It's getting better and better,

I didn't come to Thailand to get laid, neither did I come to Thailand to fulfill an possible emptyness in my life with a Thai guy. I never pay for sex.

Probably you guys are so desperate in finding your real love overhere, that you don't want to see what's it all about. You accept everything even if it is hard to deal with.

No Dumpster you weren't harsh........you are just an harsh..hole: blaming me for judging things and people I obviously know nothing about, but what do you do? Judging me on one expression without asking for more back ground information on why and what?

BTW, What attracted you to Thailand? And before arriving, were you not clued up enough to know about all the sad stories of misfortune or did you think it wouldn't happen to me. I'm not that stupid?

So I was right...............you just don't want to see what's happening!!

Well I have to say your first and second posts prompted my response because they sounded like the words of an ignorant bitter person. If my interpretation was wrong then I stand corrected. However to comment the way you did, in those posts, makes me wonder how you came to your conclusions because they seem very negative towards Thai gays. That is not my experience with Thais here but I have heard similar accounts to yours and read similar on TV .

It is easy to stereotype guys and of course there are many shades of grey, I accept this. I was merely disagreeing with your posts about Thai guys and not judging you. Just because I haven't been burnt by a Thai guy doesnt make me any more superior than someone who has. It's just life but my sympathy towards such guys is dwindling because there are so many stories out there you would think guys would be more clued up to the potential pitfalls. Maybe they are but they choose to ignore them when some cute naked boy tells you he loves you.

That said, I guess this has little to do with gay life in Chonburi.

[busgen]

It's getting better and better,

I didn't come to Thailand to get laid, neither did I come to Thailand to fulfill an possible emptyness in my life with a Thai guy. I never pay for sex.

Probably you guys are so desperate in finding your real love overhere, that you don't want to see what's it all about. You accept everything even if it is hard to deal with.

No Dumpster you weren't harsh........you are just an harsh..hole: blaming me for judging things and people I obviously know nothing about, but what do you do? Judging me on one expression without asking for more back ground information on why and what?

BTW, What attracted you to Thailand? And before arriving, were you not clued up enough to know about all the sad stories of misfortune or did you think it wouldn't happen to me. I'm not that stupid?

So I was right...............you just don't want to see what's happening!!

Well I have to say your first and second posts prompted my response because they sounded like the words of an ignorant bitter person. If my interpretation was wrong then I stand corrected. However to comment the way you did, in those posts, makes me wonder how you came to your conclusions because they seem very negative towards Thai gays. That is not my experience with Thais here but I have heard similar accounts to yours and read similar on TV .

It is easy to stereotype guys and of course there are many shades of grey, I accept this. I was merely disagreeing with your posts about Thai guys and not judging you. Just because I haven't been burnt by a Thai guy doesnt make me any more superior than someone who has. It's just life but my sympathy towards such guys is dwindling because there are so many stories out there you would think guys would be more clued up to the potential pitfalls. Maybe they are but they choose to ignore them when some cute naked boy tells you he loves you.

That said, I guess this has little to do with gay life in Chonburi.

I think you're right Dumpster on the bitter thing. That's what I did to myself. Especially the first year I tried to buy off my bitterness and that costed me loads of cash.

At this moment (after 3 years) I just say: mai pen arai or boo pen yang and don't bother.

I am absolute NOT against Thai gays, but I am against the Thai gUys who are working in the industry pretending that they are gAy. Sure I understand them; it's 'easy' money.

Oh yes, gay life in Chonburi.....that's our starting point: last year I met some Thai gays (hair dressers) in Chonburi and asked them about gay life in the city.

Either they didn't know or they didn't want to tell, but they went almost every night to an area in Bangkok. Please don't ask where!

[DUMPSTER]

At this moment (after 3 years) I just say: mai pen arai or boo pen yang and don't bother.

That's probably the best way to be