Sex, Marriage & Mia Nois

[GoodHeart]

Hold your horses there...never ever claimed to have a mia nowy...

I PREFER TO USE NUMBERS....as in number one, number two, number three...

Gik just has too many uses and meanings...and if the relationship is just based on sex, than it can't be really considered as a Gik by overall use...The use as a sex buddy is more under-ground i.e. males in the locker room type talk...

A gik does not have 'too many meanings'- it has one: casual sex buddies with no strings attached.

But this thread is about mia noi's, not giks. So I would prefer we agree to diagree and leave it at that.

[moonoi]

Hold your horses there...never ever claimed to have a mia nowy...

I PREFER TO USE NUMBERS....as in number one, number two, number three...

Gik just has too many uses and meanings...and if the relationship is just based on sex, than it can't be really considered as a Gik by overall use...The use as a sex buddy is more under-ground i.e. males in the locker room type talk...

A gik does not have 'too many meanings'- it has one: casual sex buddies with no strings attached.

But this thread is about mia noi's, not giks. So I would prefer we agree to diagree and leave it at that.

Then perhaps you should read this thread then

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=68270

Gik/gig does indeed have many meanings as GW said

For me (my gf and most of my thai collegues) Gig doesn't involve sex at all

I shall quote Patex from the other thread as its the closest match to my understanding of the term:

Friendship like in the western world is a new discovery for the Thai-society... I would say a "Gig" is a friend/soulmate from the opposite gender with whom you can speak about "everything".

There is a sexual dimension but mostly on a platonic level because sex would destroy the deep familiarity.

[moonoi]

My computer crashed as I was completing my last post

Just wanted to say that I think the reason Gig/Gik came up is the OPs' description of his relationship with #2 is better described by that term

[a2396]

My computer crashed as I was completing my last post

Just wanted to say that I think the reason Gig/Gik came up is the OPs' description of his relationship with #2 is better described by that term

That is not correct. The relationship which I am seeking is not for casual sex. It is intended for emotional, physical and mental gratification and compatibility, which will be appreciated and enjoyed by both parties. This dose not exist in my formal marriage. The "lady new" seems to have the qualities for a much better fit with me.

[LaoPo]

My computer crashed as I was completing my last post

Just wanted to say that I think the reason Gig/Gik came up is the OPs' description of his relationship with #2 is better described by that term

That is not correct. The relationship which I am seeking is not for casual sex. It is intended for emotional, physical and mental gratification and compatibility, which will be appreciated and enjoyed by both parties. This dose not exist in my formal marriage. The "lady new" seems to have the qualities for a much better fit with me.

In another topic "How much how little" I posted this answer, so for convenience of you and others, I copy the post below:

""

QUOTE(sbk @ 2006-05-12 12:14:08)

Just out of curiousity a2396, does your wife work? Does she have small children to raise?

Alot of times women can be just too darn tired to have sex. And have you considered that maybe she doesn't enjoy your technique?

I don't mean to sound confrontative or attacking here, just trying to point out that there are two people in a relationship and perhaps things might work out better if you put yourself in her shoes for a day or two. Try to understand her life and then decide if she was being manipulative or if there are other issues at hand that you can't see on the surface.

Your answer A2396:

My lady is 36 and quite attractive. There are no children. She or I have never had any. She quit her job about 10 moths ago & now takes care of the house and watches television in most of her spare time. It could be she does not like my technique. She once told such to a friend. I think she was used to Thai men jumping her and going at it like a rabbit. Maybe she likes that. It is not my style. I like things slow & relaxed. There are certainly plenty of issues under the water, since it is not possible to discuss much with her.

LaoPo

You have done a lot of explaining and talking about your wife and your possible future Mia Noi. Don't you think it's about time you talk with your wife and explain you want a divorce since you're not satisfied with the relationship now....mainly based on the lack of your desired style and frequency of sex; apart from the fact that the two of you are not willing or able to communicate...

...instead of talking about a Mia Noi on the side (or not)?

You call your wife a Lady, so she deserves honesty, class and style.

You are, im my opinion, comparing her (36) with a 20 year old girl you're obviously in love with, which is not fair towards your wife, besides the fact you didn't even 'consume' sex with the 20 year old.....you might run into another disaster in life here again.

Be a man and if you can't settle your 'disputes' in life and sex with your Lady...divorce.

I've seen too many men in my life, jumping from one relation/marriage into another. That's not the way to do it IMHO.

One has to finish completely with 1 marriage before jumping into another bed, but that's my simple view.

I divorced once, just once, but that was not because of another Lady; it was because the marriage failed; and it takes 2 to Tango, you know.

Where a marriage fails 2 people are responsible for the failure, not 1, like you're trying to point the failure towards your Lady-wife here!

LaoPo

[moonoi]

My computer crashed as I was completing my last post

Just wanted to say that I think the reason Gig/Gik came up is the OPs' description of his relationship with #2 is better described by that term

That is not correct. The relationship which I am seeking is not for casual sex. It is intended for emotional, physical and mental gratification and compatibility, which will be appreciated and enjoyed by both parties. This dose not exist in my formal marriage. The "lady new" seems to have the qualities for a much better fit with me.

I suspect you didn't read my complete post.

The term Gig doesn't describe casual sex partner for the majority of thai people I know....

Just to repeat myself

Friendship like in the western world is a new discovery for the Thai-society... I would say a "Gig" is a friend/soulmate from the opposite gender with whom you can speak about "everything".

seems more like what your are describing to me.......

the next step for you is maybe to divorce you current wife and hook up with #2 and forget about the "mia noi route" or try to fix the problems in your relationship

Edited May 12, 2006 by moonoi

[WilliamCave]

Having a mia noi as a Farang is not that easy. Everyone is going to blow you away. When my significant other is gone she receives almost hourly reports on my whereabouts from sources that even surprise me. My home is watched, the grocery store is watched and the drug store is watched. I have to drive three miles and do an auto change routine that would do justice to James Bond to safely buy a pack of condoms.

Of the Thai guys that I know that are well off about 3 in 5 have mia nois.

Issan would be the last place in Thailand I would pick a woman from but your mileage may vary. I think the best place in Thailand to have a mia noi would be a University town like Chiang Mai where there are thousands of young women living away from home and parental supervision and in need of some extra money to buy cell phones. This is preferable to women who are supporting families, they can get violent if their means of support is cut off whereas a student is more likely to blow it off without involving a hit man.

I am acquainted with one well to do Thai gentleman who keeps five uni students but his wife and children live overseas to manage his foreign business operations. It seems like a convenient arrangement for the girls but I don’t know how he keeps up he is 60.

Do young Thai women have sex before marriage? If you listen to Thai young men talk in bars yes almost all of them. If you listen to the women on Thai Visa, none of them. I suspect the answer is somewhere in between.

Are Thai men less monogamous than Western men. Do Thai men have more sex outside of marriage than Western men.

Yes of course. Without a doubt.

You have to be blind deaf and dumb not to see this in Thai life. Or have blinders on or not speak any Thai or have no Thai friends.

Thais go on and on about the corrupt Farangs. But the overwhelming amount of paid sex in and around Thailand and in the border areas of Thailand does not cater to Farangs. It caters to Thais.

That’s one of the things that makes Farangs so attractive to Thai women. Farangs make faithful husbands in a much higher percent than Thai guys. They also drink less and help around the house more and are more attentive to ahem the private areas of the relationship.

Not all Farang are like this. Take me for example. I am a born again Thai guy except for the ahem part and no boxing. If I had a young whippersnapper from Issan as a partner I would likely be dead by now. Thankfully I have a mature Thai woman who has had enough Thai men to appreciate me.

We had a discussion a couple of weeks ago when she was comparing me to a Thai guy angrily. I sat there and waited till she was done and said, “Phom my boxing gup pohm chop gin hoy.” She thought about this and said Ok I stay with you. I want new cell phone OK? OK. And week vacation to Pattaya? OK.

So having a mia noi may have some hidden expenses like vacations and some extra shopping to replace the traditional sin sod.

I like Pattaya anyway and I get to use her new cell phone to take pictures. Although I haven’t quite figured out where to lodge the mia noi in Pattaya because she is insisting on going also.

However I would not suggest having a mia noi is for the inexperienced. I have had mia nois for the past 18 years and the first 8 or 10 were learning experiences. I’m not a quick study and made some mistakes over and over. I think one could reasonably expect the first 5 or 6 to end in disaster either financial or emotional and if kids are involved this can be very unsettling.

I would suggest for the beginning mia noier that a crash pad in a remote part of town and the three tuk tuk auto transfer method be learned. There is also some experience needed in disguise. I am lucky enough to be a short Farang and can blend in. If you are a tall guy or really fat guy this becomes a problem.

Instead of a mia noi have a steady relationship with a working girl to see if you are up to the rigors of a full time mia noi.

You also need alternative methods of communication so you will have to invent a reason to have a second cell phone that is never on ring. You can lock it up in a drawer and have the calls transferred to your computer which works well if you have the technical experience to do this.

If you are retired you will need a job or taking Thai lessons at the college works. Take night courses and schedule a tutor and tell the wife that you have to turn your cell phone off in class.

If you have a job make sure one of the first rules you impose is never calling you at work.

There are I am sure many things I have forgotten that I take for granted. The most important thing is have a bunch of money. Given that you can get out of any situation in Thailand.

That is not true of course in the West. If you have a mia noi in the West you might end up having to retire in Thailand. And everyone knows that would be awful. You have to learn funny words and dance the jin at la and put up with absurd notions of young Thai women. It is a fate worse than death.

My advice in Thailand or the West is don’t do it. It is not worth the price. But you might want to check out the Songkran pics in the Chiang Mai forum. Not that I was there mind you.

PS. Bambina I am surprised at you. Normally you are spot on. Try this. How many Thai males earning 20,000,000 baht per year or $50,000.00 have mia nois?

As to your thai friend with 6 Mia nois(university) I have never seen this in bangkok, and have lived here for 5 years...maybe I have been looking in the wrong place..

[WilliamCave]

Having a mia noi as a Farang is not that easy. Everyone is going to blow you away. When my significant other is gone she receives almost hourly reports on my whereabouts from sources that even surprise me. My home is watched, the grocery store is watched and the drug store is watched. I have to drive three miles and do an auto change routine that would do justice to James Bond to safely buy a pack of condoms.

Of the Thai guys that I know that are well off about 3 in 5 have mia nois.

Issan would be the last place in Thailand I would pick a woman from but your mileage may vary. I think the best place in Thailand to have a mia noi would be a University town like Chiang Mai where there are thousands of young women living away from home and parental supervision and in need of some extra money to buy cell phones. This is preferable to women who are supporting families, they can get violent if their means of support is cut off whereas a student is more likely to blow it off without involving a hit man.

I am acquainted with one well to do Thai gentleman who keeps five uni students but his wife and children live overseas to manage his foreign business operations. It seems like a convenient arrangement for the girls but I don’t know how he keeps up he is 60.

Do young Thai women have sex before marriage? If you listen to Thai young men talk in bars yes almost all of them. If you listen to the women on Thai Visa, none of them. I suspect the answer is somewhere in between.

Are Thai men less monogamous than Western men. Do Thai men have more sex outside of marriage than Western men.

Yes of course. Without a doubt.

You have to be blind deaf and dumb not to see this in Thai life. Or have blinders on or not speak any Thai or have no Thai friends.

Thais go on and on about the corrupt Farangs. But the overwhelming amount of paid sex in and around Thailand and in the border areas of Thailand does not cater to Farangs. It caters to Thais.

That’s one of the things that makes Farangs so attractive to Thai women. Farangs make faithful husbands in a much higher percent than Thai guys. They also drink less and help around the house more and are more attentive to ahem the private areas of the relationship.

Not all Farang are like this. Take me for example. I am a born again Thai guy except for the ahem part and no boxing. If I had a young whippersnapper from Issan as a partner I would likely be dead by now. Thankfully I have a mature Thai woman who has had enough Thai men to appreciate me.

We had a discussion a couple of weeks ago when she was comparing me to a Thai guy angrily. I sat there and waited till she was done and said, “Phom my boxing gup pohm chop gin hoy.” She thought about this and said Ok I stay with you. I want new cell phone OK? OK. And week vacation to Pattaya? OK.

So having a mia noi may have some hidden expenses like vacations and some extra shopping to replace the traditional sin sod.

I like Pattaya anyway and I get to use her new cell phone to take pictures. Although I haven’t quite figured out where to lodge the mia noi in Pattaya because she is insisting on going also.

However I would not suggest having a mia noi is for the inexperienced. I have had mia nois for the past 18 years and the first 8 or 10 were learning experiences. I’m not a quick study and made some mistakes over and over. I think one could reasonably expect the first 5 or 6 to end in disaster either financial or emotional and if kids are involved this can be very unsettling.

I would suggest for the beginning mia noier that a crash pad in a remote part of town and the three tuk tuk auto transfer method be learned. There is also some experience needed in disguise. I am lucky enough to be a short Farang and can blend in. If you are a tall guy or really fat guy this becomes a problem.

Instead of a mia noi have a steady relationship with a working girl to see if you are up to the rigors of a full time mia noi.

You also need alternative methods of communication so you will have to invent a reason to have a second cell phone that is never on ring. You can lock it up in a drawer and have the calls transferred to your computer which works well if you have the technical experience to do this.

If you are retired you will need a job or taking Thai lessons at the college works. Take night courses and schedule a tutor and tell the wife that you have to turn your cell phone off in class.

If you have a job make sure one of the first rules you impose is never calling you at work.

There are I am sure many things I have forgotten that I take for granted. The most important thing is have a bunch of money. Given that you can get out of any situation in Thailand.

That is not true of course in the West. If you have a mia noi in the West you might end up having to retire in Thailand. And everyone knows that would be awful. You have to learn funny words and dance the jin at la and put up with absurd notions of young Thai women. It is a fate worse than death.

My advice in Thailand or the West is don’t do it. It is not worth the price. But you might want to check out the Songkran pics in the Chiang Mai forum. Not that I was there mind you.

PS. Bambina I am surprised at you. Normally you are spot on. Try this. How many Thai males earning 20,000,000 baht per year or $50,000.00 have mia nois?

As to your thai friend with 6 Mia nois(university) I have never seen this in bangkok, and have lived here for 5 years...maybe I have been looking in the wrong place..