Money. Who pays the bills? How much do you give your partner?

[kiwiinasia]

100 baht a day does it.

But I pay all the household bills and watch the telly.

[Dellie]

The bills are paid by whoever is the first to see it in the mailbox basically. The wife makes about 150 000thb/month. I make considerably more. We have minimal expenses (no debt) so were lucky to not have to think about money all that much.

[giddyup]

The bills are paid by whoever is the first to see it in the mailbox basically. The wife makes about 150 000thb/month. I make considerably more. We have minimal expenses (no debt) so were lucky to not have to think about money all that much.

150,000 THB a month? That's more than US$1000 a week. She a Neuro surgeon?

[cbluck58]

This could run forever as every couple have different circumstances - mine are my business.

[kennypowers]

It's a strange thing that some foreigners look down on others who support their wives financially in Thailand. Pretty much every couple on my street back in the UK have the same set up; man works and pays for everything, woman looks after the kid(s), and or has a part time job/small business with a minimal income that pays for more shopping trips and expensive salon days.

I am from a background where women work if they are able to, and where the thinking is that a man should always marry a woman who is prepare (wants) to work. I also think a relationship works better when both parties are working and one isn't totally dependent on the other. There are numerous personal benefits to going out to work every day: a broader friendship circle, important social interaction, feeling valued as part of a team, getting up early and taking responsibility for your life, etc.

That said, in 99% of cases the foreign partner's income will be perhaps triple or more his wife's. And therefore he will obviously contribute more. It is totally up to the individual how much he chooses to share in terms of support. However, the most important aspect of the relationship is that the wife is prepared to pitch in and work hard too, for the greater good of the family. I think too many foreign husbands allow their partners to become far too dependent - almost like a father-daughter relationship. This is not a good grounding for a successful relationship, neither financially or romantically.

[smotherb]

We share one bank account that my salary goes into and hers. SO I suppose we both pay the bills. My salary is much more than hers but we are married and share things.

I have separate bank accounts and credit cards for my online work which I use for luxuries. Of course I don't want to share everything, being a selfish ****

I am happy to see your post. I was beginning to think everyone was in some sort of business deal with their lover. I have been married three times; two to Southeast Asians, once to a Westerner. All of them have had college educations and good jobs. One even makes more money than I--and it isn't the Westerner. With all of them, we shared everything. I had no chldren with the first two, so when we divorced we simply settled it ourselves and got a common lawyer for the paperwork--no alimony, no ruffled feathers. I am still married to the third, and she is still my soulmate, we share everything. Oh, and a great sidebar, all four of us are still friends.

Bottom line: find the right woman and treat her as you would like to be treated. The problem, of course, is the first part, but even I have found three good women, so it can be done..

[smotherb]

The bills are paid by whoever is the first to see it in the mailbox basically. The wife makes about 150 000thb/month. I make considerably more. We have minimal expenses (no debt) so were lucky to not have to think about money all that much.

150,000 THB a month? That's more than US$1000 a week. She a Neuro surgeon?

Many Thai executive and professional positions pay over B150K/mo and many more business owners make more than that.

[BlackJack]

you will always pay

[kannot]

My Wife pays for everything, she gives me any money I want in fact she just gives me an atm.............I know SHOCK HORROR!!

[umbanda]

In most of couples WESTERN -THAI we meet, western husband are paying for everything, most of the times giving to their wives a dream life comparing what they had before. It is not a good idea to socialize with them if you like to share everything with your wife like I do....or if your wife think that she deserves the same. For Thai women of every class, gift and money are the way to show love. It is part of its culture. I love my wife very much, and if I have the money I will give her everything she wants, but, because that is not the case, we share everything.

[Baerboxer]

What I find disturbing is "quizzing friends" about it.

They all ( Thai women )gossip amongst themselves as to money from Husbands etc but mostly about the number of times they have sex .

I agree - and it's all Thai women that do this. My wife and her Thai friends discussed how much their husband's gave them, spent on them etc whilst we were in the UK. They also compared how many times there husband's wanted sex each week, and the size of the wedding tackle.

I'm sure its the same here. The group of mothers of my daughters school friends have lunch together every so often. I'm sure husbands are talked about in this way, not just the issues about school and teachers.

I pay for everything. My son is disabled and so has taken a big proportion of my wife's time at the moment. If my wife was working the money would go into the family pot.

[somtampet]

What I find disturbing is "quizzing friends" about it.

I do too.

My partner hates this,and never answers,she just says i dont give her anything.One tried to persuade her to ask for house to be built,she hasnt spoken to her since,very bad lady she says.

I dont give my partner any money but i pay for all the bills,she saves her money for repairs, new furniture etc etc etc,and she pays 50% of the time when we g out to eat

[beachproperty]

I give my wife 25,000 baht each month ....out of that she pays for all the utilities, food, lunch money for kids, spending money,etc. Can't be bothered paying each little thing. She takes care of it all and I love it. Now and then she'll ask for a little more for something and explains why? Ok with that too...when I was married in the west....had a wife that didn't work either (kids grown up and out of the house) and she wanted $1000/month just for herself for spending money....anything else we did or household bills ...I had to pay! So happy to get rid of that western baggage....

[robblok]

Both pay the bills I don't give her any money she pays her share in the bills like mortgage / electricity / internet ect. We take of course into account the difference of income.

I don't get it why those guys are paying their gf's to stay with them but maybe the only way to keep the girls happy.

[Dellie]

The bills are paid by whoever is the first to see it in the mailbox basically. The wife makes about 150 000thb/month. I make considerably more. We have minimal expenses (no debt) so were lucky to not have to think about money all that much.

150,000 THB a month? That's more than US$1000 a week. She a Neuro surgeon?

No she's upper management at a large international furniture chain.

[hellodolly]

It's a strange thing that some foreigners look down on others who support their wives financially in Thailand. Pretty much every couple on my street back in the UK have the same set up; man works and pays for everything, woman looks after the kid(s), and or has a part time job/small business with a minimal income that pays for more shopping trips and expensive salon days.

I am from a background where women work if they are able to, and where the thinking is that a man should always marry a woman who is prepare (wants) to work. I also think a relationship works better when both parties are working and one isn't totally dependent on the other. There are numerous personal benefits to going out to work every day: a broader friendship circle, important social interaction, feeling valued as part of a team, getting up early and taking responsibility for your life, etc.

That said, in 99% of cases the foreign partner's income will be perhaps triple or more his wife's. And therefore he will obviously contribute more. It is totally up to the individual how much he chooses to share in terms of support. However, the most important aspect of the relationship is that the wife is prepared to pitch in and work hard too, for the greater good of the family. I think too many foreign husbands allow their partners to become far too dependent - almost like a father-daughter relationship. This is not a good grounding for a successful relationship, neither financially or romantically.

You bring up some interesting points there. I come from a different upbringing where the dad worked and the Mom took care of the Kids. Up until the economy got so bad Mom had to take a job on weekends.

In the western countries it is almost imposable for a family to get along on a single income. For myself I make 9 times what the wife would make and I am not talking 300 baht a day. It is worth it to me for her to be available for a trip at the drop of the hat or go to the local market where I would not know where or what to look for. I give her enough money so that she can take care of her mother with out her mother having to travel all over Thailand to stay with different children. She now has a home and spending money. I give the wife less than 8% of my income.

Not only is it worth it for what I receive but it is a good feeling to see her mother happy and secure.

Just different generations. I am very happy I can now live like the generation I grew up in. In my working years my wife also worked but not until the children were old enough.

[zaZa9]

BUT,.........we...........are in contact with this type of folk quite regularly just through being polite. Mrs.Trans and myself are totally pissed off with the mixed marriages in LOS that we have met. WE, have met zillions over the years and really only have a handful of friends.

I've never had any positive experience from allowing my wife to meet another foreigners wife/gf.

It just causes me (and her) grief. Strange but true.

allowing?? lol

Yeh , I was thinking the same ... control freaks of the world unite! 555

[lips]

Most westerners don't understand the Asian way. It is our culture to make sure everything works well and the family harmony is important, not just the sex. The ony thing that may upset the white guy is the need to help the extended family as well as and when your help is needed, then only you are the good son-in-law.

When you get married you have to give the dowry and trays of gifts in accordance to the agreement with the parents and you can't ask back later if you're divorced.

If you treat the woman right, she will submit and prostrate to you, but if you bite then you better head for the court house.

Most Thais are kind people, not rough and of course somewhat frank in asking but that is common around Asia even where I live. You just go to understand the locals and don't waste time gossiping with neighbours. One good excuse is my husband's home, I've got to go and cook and that's it.

Hope you look for a new wife, if you're single again but make sure you find her really interesting, otherwise getting a divorce and the losing pride pricks your thick skin all the time. And for the woman - meaning going back to her parents' and starting all over which culturally is a no-no. Please be kind to the Asian woman.

My father used to advise me a lot about staying married, life and so forth. be simple-minded, don't drink too much, take care of all her needs and she will think the world of you.

Good luck with your next attempt of finding the right girl.

Edited October 25, 2013 by lips

[lips]

Yes, i think 10,000 is just around RM1000 and perhaps just about USD300. Very little money especially when everything has gone up. Last year I went to Thailand and noticed that in the supermarket there, the food prices are more expensive than in KL. Here, I could go to Isetan and pay for quality food and the service is better in some ways.

The only thing why foreigners love to live in Thailand is the booze and the girls.

Even owning a property is more expensive in BKK or nearby province like Betong. It is relatively cheaper in KL.

Anyway, I suppose it is the surroundings and your circle of friends or perhaps the kind of business that you run makes all the difference.

[crumpled]

Most westerners don't understand the Asian way. It is our culture to make sure everything works well and the family harmony is important, not just the sex. The ony thing that may upset the white guy is the need to help the extended family as well as and when your help is needed, then only you are the good son-in-law.

When you get married you have to give the dowry and trays of gifts in accordance to the agreement with the parents and you can't ask back later if you're divorced.

If you treat the woman right, she will submit and prostrate to you, but if you bite then you better head for the court house.

Most Thais are kind people, not rough and of course somewhat frank in asking but that is common around Asia even where I live. You just go to understand the locals and don't waste time gossiping with neighbours. One good excuse is my husband's home, I've got to go and cook and that's it.

Hope you look for a new wife, if you're single again but make sure you find her really interesting, otherwise getting a divorce and the losing pride pricks your thick skin all the time. And for the woman - meaning going back to her parents' and starting all over which culturally is a no-no. Please be kind to the Asian woman.

My father used to advise me a lot about staying married, life and so forth. be simple-minded, don't drink too much, take care of all her needs and she will think the world of you.

Good luck with your next attempt of finding the right girl.

This is a wind up, right?

Any woman and man in a relationship should be sharing everything and that would include help for the family in times of crisis. If the woman does not help the husband financially in times of crisis does that make her a bad daughter in law? Because according to you, the man is only a good son in law if he pays through the nose to help the extended family.

In western culture we stopped paying for our women a long time ago. We give gifte because we want to, not because it is expected at any time in the relationship.

If we treat the woman right she will prostrate and submit to us? Why would we want a woman to submit to us or to prostrate themselves? Is it not a case of give and take between two people in any form of relationship? And most Thai women I have ever known are only too eager to gossip.

We do not lose pride in a divorce where we do not pay enough money to the woman every day/week/month, we normally lose some unwanted baggage.

Please be kind to the Asian woman? How about some reciprocation and be kind to us?

Nowhere in this post have I heard of give and take. All I read is take take take by the woman and that is not a relationship nor a marriage. Seems to me you need educating on relationships if this post of yours is not a wind up / troll.

[Jangot]

I just cannot believe what I read that a married couple would go out for a meal and share the bill!!

A husband and wife splitting a restaurant bill between them!

That is just so small.

[anto]

I just cannot believe what I read that a married couple would go out for a meal and share the bill!!

A husband and wife splitting a restaurant bill between them!

That is just so small.

Small to you maybe .Rather than split the bill myself and the wife usually take turns at paying but it ends up the same thing .We only eat out at a proper restaurant once a week aprox.

[FiftyTwo]

I am happy to see your post. I was beginning to think everyone was in some sort of business deal with their lover. I have been married three times; two to Southeast Asians, once to a Westerner. All of them have had college educations and good jobs. One even makes more money than I--and it isn't the Westerner. With all of them, we shared everything. I had no chldren with the first two, so when we divorced we simply settled it ourselves and got a common lawyer for the paperwork--no alimony, no ruffled feathers. I am still married to the third, and she is still my soulmate, we share everything. Oh, and a great sidebar, all four of us are still friends.

Just wondering here, did you think 1 and 2 were your soul mates and you got it wrong twice?

If so how do you know number three isn't a mistake too?

Alternatively, were 1 and 2 just time killers while waiting for your soul mate?

That would seem a bit unkind for 1 and 2.

[Sophiafluke]

Dear Gentlemen,

I think the topic that you have been discussing is interesting but if you are only thinking of who pays the bills why are you married or live with your partner? I understand that some of you live on pension or whatever it is called but does marriage means only for sharing bills? If it is hard for you why don't you just live alone?

You must also knew before you got married that most of Thai women are looking for partners who can support them. Don't tell me that you never knew it! If you just can't support them why don't just live on your own? If it's a doubtful topic and makes you unhappy why don't just leave everything and be happy alone with your money?

[FiftyTwo]

Dear Gentlemen,

I think the topic that you have been discussing is interesting but if you are only thinking of who pays the bills why are you married or live with your partner? I understand that some of you live on pension or whatever it is called but does marriage means only for sharing bills? If it is hard for you why don't you just live alone?

You must also knew before you got married that most of Thai women are looking for partners who can support them. Don't tell me that you never knew it! If you just can't support them why don't just live on your own? If it's a doubtful topic and makes you unhappy why don't just leave everything and be happy alone with your money?

I'm thinking some men see marriage to a Thai lady as regular sex with a much younger woman in exchange for paying all the bills.

Then the women stop having sex with them (or become unattractive), so they no longer want to pay the bills.

I might be wrong on this.

[transam]

Dear Gentlemen,

I think the topic that you have been discussing is interesting but if you are only thinking of who pays the bills why are you married or live with your partner? I understand that some of you live on pension or whatever it is called but does marriage means only for sharing bills? If it is hard for you why don't you just live alone?

You must also knew before you got married that most of Thai women are looking for partners who can support them. Don't tell me that you never knew it! If you just can't support them why don't just live on your own? If it's a doubtful topic and makes you unhappy why don't just leave everything and be happy alone with your money?

[stickylies]

Most westerners don't understand the Asian way.

correction: I understand everything about it but often (not always) think it's utterly retarded.

no offense intended but all thai females I know (and consider friends) are obsessed with money. period.

[smccolley]

When I first met my wife (then GF) in Thailand she would spend every penny I gave her as if it was just a drop in the bucket. As a working man, I am not made of money, but she did not get it.

I decided to be completely open and instead let her handle the finances. She has the ATM cards to all of my accounts in Thailand and pays all the bills, all I ask is that I have enough for a new computer every year and beer money at the end of the month.

Since then there have been no issue or shortages (except when the IRS came after me) and we live a comfortable life. I have assets (that she bought), insurance and beer money every month. What more can a guy ask for?

[FiftyTwo]

When I first met my wife (then GF) in Thailand she would spend every penny I gave her as if it was just a drop in the bucket. As a working man, I am not made of money, but she did not get it.

I decided to be completely open and instead let her handle the finances. She has the ATM cards to all of my accounts in Thailand and pays all the bills, all I ask is that I have enough for a new computer every year and beer money at the end of the month.

Since then there have been no issue or shortages (except when the IRS came after me) and we live a comfortable life. I have assets (that she bought), insurance and beer money every month. What more can a guy ask for?

Independence?

Freedom?

[HardenedSoul]

When I first met my wife (then GF) in Thailand she would spend every penny I gave her as if it was just a drop in the bucket. As a working man, I am not made of money, but she did not get it.

I decided to be completely open and instead let her handle the finances. She has the ATM cards to all of my accounts in Thailand and pays all the bills, all I ask is that I have enough for a new computer every year and beer money at the end of the month.

Since then there have been no issue or shortages (except when the IRS came after me) and we live a comfortable life. I have assets (that she bought), insurance and beer money every month. What more can a guy ask for?

Some balls would be a start.